A/N: This is the first time I've written for Twilight. so... yeah. I got struck by inspiration and had to write. I only read the series three weeks ago (I Finished it in two weeks) and saw the Movie last week.(Robert Pattinson is quite fine.) when reading the books (and watching the movie) I found myself drawn very much to the character of Edward, I think he's the one that intrigues me most because he's extremely complex compared to Bella. And who doesn't love a good complex tortured soul? so. here. I'd appreciate some comment feedback please =]

Never to dream

I waited silently, the wordless breaths of an eternally damned soul the only things stirring a sound within the confines of this small resting place. I watched and I waited, waited for her to speak, to move. Her smell assaulted my senses harshly, causing the overwhelming burning within my throat to pulse, to ignite. If she only knew the danger I put her in right now. Would her sweet scent still smell the same? Or would it be laced with fear?

Fear for the demon that perched lightly at her feet.

Isabella Swan. Her name screamed to me like a sirens call, causing the very hairs on the back of my cold, un-dead neck to stand perfectly on end. How could one small insignificant girl turn my whole existence upside down? She jeopardised the very things that made me less a monster than any others of my kind.

I could feel her blood pulsing wetly just beneath her pale skin, could see the slight movements that it caused, the ripple effect. Her heart beat filled my ears, pounding in my head like the melody to a song that only I, Edward Cullen could hear.

Did she realise how close I'd come to killing her so many times before?

No matter what I tried, Bella was always on my mind, plaguing my thoughts; I couldn't escape the new primal emotions she caused within my cold dead heart. I wanted to protect her from everything. I wanted to rip out her throat at the same time.

Conflicted thoughts raged heavily on my mind for hours on end whilst I watched her sleeping. I knew I posed more danger to her than any other being on God's green earth, but still the thought of leaving her, my sweet temptation to whatever other fate that could befall her made my venom raise and fill any crevice it could within the contours of my mouth. I could not ever leave Bella. I was selfish. Call it some form of sick masochism, but Bella brought out too many raw emotions within myself to just be forgotten.

She was a puzzle. She was a mystery. She was so intriguing to me I could hardly keep from waking her at this moment to beg her for some insight into the workings of her silent mind. She was driving me insane. The bloodlust I felt for her was almost nothing compared to the curiosity that she inspired.

Over 90 years as a vampire and not once had I encountered one being that I could not see every dark corner of their minds, so how was it that now when I looked at her, all I heard was the steady rhythm of that beating heart, and the pulsations of her speeding blood. To say I was frustrated would be a mild use of the term. After so long of knowing everything, it was almost too hard to acknowledge that with her I knew next to nothing.

Who was this girl? And why the hell did I feel this constant need to be near her every moment of every day?

I shook my head as her nightly mumblings began, maybe just once between the sighed mutters of my name and the nonsense dribble of badly strung sentences, there might come a moment where the explanation for this giant question mark that poised above her head. Until that moment, here I would sit, watching her silently dreaming.

Yet another thing I found myself longing to be able to do, but knew I never would.

For to dream one had to be able to sleep, and I could never sleep, would never sleep, Doomed for all eternity to remain in the land of conscious thought, like all the others of my kind. Every hour of everyday I could not escape the thoughts of complete strangers, I felt mentally incapacitated at times, never given a moment to think for myself without others entering my mind too.

Yet Bella's silence was the only thing that caused me distress, I was used to the petty thoughts of normal humans. Bella would never be a normal human.

Her deep brown locks twisted messily over the soft white pillow, her lips parted lightly in a sigh. Her arms slung carelessly above her head. I had never seen anything of more beauty than this innocent girl. Even in sleep nothing could cover how truly young she was. I suppose that was part of the reasons I felt the need to protect her constantly from the evils of this world. The idea that such innocence could be lost and destroyed with the use of one wrong word or sentence said by one mindless human dolt who walked the Earth, I couldn't bare to think how it would destroy her.

Bella was something that was beyond all the other normal human girls. She didn't deserve anything to ruin what could be her happy existence. Yet it seemed even fate had it out for her, her constant clumsy ways causing her near death too many times to count. Maybe that was it, she was too beautiful for this world and now the Gods had decided they wanted her back for themselves.

Well they'd have to come through me first. I'd move heaven and hell to make sure Bella lived. A world without her would seem incomplete. I couldn't allow something like her to be taken from this place.

Perhaps this was why I felt drawn to her, she needed me. Maybe this was my purpose. To protect her from the powers that worked so hard against us

A Vampire guardian.

Oh the irony. I felt the ever-present urge to kill her, and yet I was supposed to be the one to save her. Talk about double standards. I only hoped she could see it my way, Lord knew Bella could be stubborn when she wanted, and convincing her I was not about to kill her (willingly), could prove exceedingly difficult at the best of times. Considering the party I was about to try convincing… well I had the sneaking suspicion that it was not about to make my job any easier.

If only I could be sure that she wouldn't run screaming from my confession to being an undead fiend, as so many would. I fought a chuckle. Who was I kidding? Bella was the most unlikely person in the world, she'd probably run towards me rather than away. I frowned again. That would make my job difficult too. I was not safe for her; I was liable to cause her so much pain. How could I convey that to her at the same time as conveying to her just how much I didn't want her to think that?

I shut my eyes for a moment, sighing deeply. This would require much more time spend pondering.

Time. Nothing to me, I had all the time in the world. It was Bella I had to worry for. Whilst I would live forever, never changing, never ageing. Bella Swan would grow old and die. Just the thought of that and I knew my heart couldn't take it, not now, not in 60 years. I could never ever come to terms with that fact, nor would I ever want to.

Alice had said her destiny was sealed. Only two paths left, both requiring sacrifices. The question I now had to ask was which one would I be strong enough to pursue with her? And which one would lead to her untimely death.

Bella moved and my throat burned.