You Are Enough
Oikawa, despite how many dates he'd been on, was never one to be very good with his feelings. There was a reason why he always broke up with the girl. He never knew why things never worked out, why there was never that rumored spark that everyone talked about.
Honestly, all he ever wanted was a happily ever after.
But every single time, it ended. Either a miscommunication, a small problem, complications, drifting apart, and beneath it all—there was never that feeling.
There was never that feeling of actually being head over heels in love.
It came to the point where he started to think that there was something wrong with him. Nothing worked out. Why? He had everything. Good looks, good grades, good skills at volleyball. He was nice—most of the time anyways—and well-liked by everyone.
Maybe there really was something wrong with him.
He had actually come to an agreement with himself that it was alright. He'd just find a girl every month or so to quench his needs, leave them, and start the cycle over again. He knew it was cruel, but what other choice was there?
There had even been times that he was happy with his decision.
But life always had different plans for Oikawa Tooru.
He realized it too late. That oh no, oh yes, maybe the reason why he never felt that spark was because he had always been looking for it in the wrong places.
In a completely wrong way.
And it terrified him.
Those thoughts, nobody should've been thinking them. Nobody should've been in love with their best friend.
Especially if their best friend was a guy. In other circumstances, it would've been alright. If Oikawa had been a girl, or Iwaizumi was the opposite gender, everything would've worked out fine. There wouldn't have been any roadblocks.
But the worst part was that even if it would've worked out without the prying eyes of everyone else, there was still always the possibility of nothing working out at all. Even when the scenario was normal, even when he could've actually been allowed to love him, the relationship still might never bloom.
So what were the chances if they were both guys?
What were the chances of Iwaizumi even thinking of it the way Oikawa was?
And so came the second decision. Oikawa didn't care, he would keep it a secret until his deathbed, and he wouldn't let anyone know. He would go single to his deathbed, no matter how disappointing is might seem.
He would not risk losing Iwaizumi.
Because despite it all, Iwaizumi was enough.
He was everything Oikawa wanted, needed. And as long as he stayed, Oikawa believed that there would be no conflicts.
He didn't care if people thought him strange.
If it meant being able to stay by his best friends side—even if it wasn't the way Oikawa wished it were—Iwaizumi would always be enough.
And Oikawa nothing at all.