2100hrs Toronto, Canada
Greg was in the briefing room just finishing off filling out a report when his cellphone buzzed on the table – scooping it up Greg didn't check the caller ID "Parker" for a moment there was a pause and then James' voice quietly spoke "It's James" Greg immediately sat up hearing the different tone "What's up James?" he asked dropping the pen and standing up turning to face the window behind him.
"Nothing I" a beat "I just wanted to talk" James replied quietly and Greg crossed one arm across his chest resting his elbow on his hand as he held the phone to his ear "Go ahead I'm right here" Greg assured.
"I don't know Greg, It's late – you probably want to go home" James started suddenly regretting calling Greg.
"No James, I'm right here – I'm not going anywhere" Greg answered
James was seated on the floor of his room leaning back against the wall beneath the window. The door shut, lights off and the curtains drawn – around him his dog lay watching him "I did something stupid Greg" James said quietly "I could lose my job and my family" a beat and James gritted his teeth "I did something stupid"
Greg knew that tone "What happened?" he asked gently careful not to push "You can tell me"
"I nearly killed my kids Greg" he said his voice choking up "I was driving after I had a few bottles and ran a red light – guy stopped in time – just barely clipped me".
"Were they hurt?" Greg asked "No" James replied softly and Greg looked down closing his eyes he shook his head "They're safe James, that's the important thing" he said quietly. Behind him there's a slight tap and Greg looks over as Ed looks like he wants to say something, Greg shakes his head indicating the cellphone with a finger Ed nods end exits.
"What was that?" James asked and Greg looked back at the window again "Just someone wanting to see me, but they can wait" Greg replied "Where are your kids now?" he asked softly.
"With Mikey, I got him to come get them from the incident site and take them to his" a beat "My boss called me" James rubbed his eyes and drew his knees up to his chest "He said he'd fire me if I don't clean-up" James rubbed his eyes "It's over Greg" he said quietly "It's over"
Greg sat back against the table "James, I know it seems like it's over now – but it's not – you can get through this"
James exhaled sharply clearly trying to compose himself "I want her back" he said quietly "I need her, I need her here with me"
"Your wife?" Greg asked and was rewarded by silence "James – whatever you do don't grab that bottle" he knew full well James had a bottle of whiskey near him "You don't need it" a beat "I know it hurts – the bottle won't take the pain away – it doesn't"
James listened to Greg's voice as he eyed the bottle near him "I just…" a beat and James sighed "I can't take this anymore"
"James" Greg contemplated his next words – outside the sky was dark and the lights were bright – the building was silent, Ed had probably left with the team and Greg was alone aside from Winnie who was at the desk "Give me a sec" Greg moved over to the doorway and peered around over at Winnie "Winnie, I'm going to talk on the phone for a while okay? I'll shut the door"
"Everything okay Sarge?" She asked curiously and Greg nodded giving her a smile "Everything's fine, just gotta talk to someone"
"Copy that Sarge" She said smiling back.
Greg stepped back and hit the button, the door slid shut and Greg went back to the window lifting the phone to his ear "James?"
The silence was deafening but he hadn't hung up "James?" Greg asked
"I'm here" James finally said quietly
Whether or not James had touched the bottle during the time Greg had gone to shut the door wasn't important – It was important to Greg that James had stayed on the line "Thanks for not hanging up" Greg said quietly "You remember back at the BBQ when I didn't want a drink?" he asked
"Thanks for reminding me" James answered shortly and Greg shook his head – that was an indicator that he was pretty much losing control "I'm sorry" Greg replied "James, the reason I mentioned it" a beat and Greg sighed "I hit the bottle too James, pretty hard – My wife left me – took our son he was six years old" Greg hated talking about it but he had to tell James his own story.
"I was a mess James, the bottle doesn't help – take it from me – it just numbs the pain it doesn't go away"
James blinked as he stared at the phone on the floor beside him, he had hit the speakerphone so he could speak and hear and keep his hands free "How long ago?" he asked
"Ten years ago – I've been sober – Sober since" a beat "Since I found a reason to survive"
James stared at the bottle in his hands resting on his lap and blinked a few times "What reason is there Greg?" he asked
"Your kids!" Greg replied firmly "You have two young children, you want to throw your life away and leave them alone?" he asked
"No" James replied "No I love my kids" his voice shook
"You made a choice James – you asked your brother to take them home because you couldn't trust yourself" Greg said quietly "That was the right thing to do – but what you gotta do now is you gotta choose"
"I miss Mya" he said quietly his voice shaking "I failed, I couldn't protect her"
"You didn't fail" Greg replied softly "You didn't know he would take her – you didn't know"
"I should've gone with her" James' voice broke even more – he was breaking down
"James" Greg knew he had to find a way to calm him down – he hated not being right there with him "Listen – You were doing your job – you were finding your colleague that's what she would have wanted right?" his voice was calm and steady but Greg's eyes spoke a lot more and he was glad James couldn't see him.
"She didn't even stand a chance – she was all alone – helpless" James shook his head and looked down his hands clasped together on his head went down to his neck "My son Luke – he saw her die Greg – my team our friends at NCIS, all we could do was watch" James ran his hands ran down to his legs and he hugged his knees to him "We couldn't do a thing – cause by the time we found the DVD it was too late" James gritted his teeth
"James, James listen – there was nothing you could have done – you can't blame yourself for this" a beat and Greg allowed his gaze on the window to drop and he looked at the ground "You didn't fail"
A moment and there was silence and Greg listened – he could hear breathing – he had come to know James well over the time they had talked for the last several weeks
"How did you stop?" James asked finally
"Stop?" Greg asked then he nodded "A little girl saved my life" he answered quietly "She didn't know it but before she wrote me that letter I was hitting the bottle harder than ever – that letter stopped me in my tracks" Greg inhaled "She gave me a reason to live – And you know what? – You get to see your kids James" a beat "Don't lose them"
"I don't wanna lose my kids" James said quietly "They're all I have left"
"Then do it for them – do it for your wife – she wouldn't want you to destroy yourself"
"You know what really hurts?" James asked
"That he's still out there?" Greg asked knowingly "You're not going to be able to touch him if you lose your job James" Greg said gently "I know what it's like – to feel so angry – yet so helpless" a beat "You want so badly to get justice – you become blinded by it" Greg listened to the silence – James was listening still "
A tap at the door and Greg looked up "Yeah?!" he asked covering the mouthpiece "It's Ed, you alright in there Greg?" he asked and Greg stood "give me a few James" he placed the phone on the table and approached the doorway hitting the button he watched as it rose and regarded Ed as he saw the man's eyes upon him "Eddie, everything's fine – I'm just talking"
"Winnie said you were taking a while, got worried and called me" Ed replied
"I'm fine" Greg said glancing at Winnie who was trying to avoid looking over at them "James called me" he finally said meeting Ed's eyes "He needs someone to talk to"
Ed knew the story – he knew about James' wife's death and James hitting the bottle "Alright, just checking" he said patting his friend's shoulder and stepping back.
Greg gave Ed a nod and hit the button again before scooping up the phone again "James?" he asked placing it to his ear.
"Your guys worried about you?" a beat "You don't gotta talk to me" James replied
"James, I'm here for you – I promised I would and I will be" Greg replied firmly "I'm not gonna hang up til you're ready"
"Why are you helping me Greg?" James asked softly "I don't deserve anything" James exhaled "I almost killed my kids that's all I can think about – I'm gonna lose my job and I'm" James was crashing again.
"James" Greg focused on the scene in front of him beyond the windows "Don't think about what happened – think about now you've got a second chance to make it right – your kids and your job are waiting for you to make the choice" Greg reasoned "You can choose to lose the bottle or lose what you have"
"I can't" James stammered "I can't"
"I did – It took a long time – it was hard, but I did it" Greg said quietly "And I'll help you, your friends will help you, your family will help you – your colleagues can help you" a beat "But you gotta make the first step" Greg composed himself "You have to help yourself first, you can do it"
James stared at the bottle in his lap – the lid now firmly back on it, staring at it he thought hard – Greg knew he had to be patient and wait.
He knew James was strong enough – he was a mess after his wife died and Greg had talked to him many hours like this over the phone. But he knew James knew in his heart he had to choose.
James stood and picked up the phone and the bottle – he headed silently out and into the bathroom where he shut the door but didn't lock it. Placing the phone on the side James stared at the bottle in his hand "This is for you Mya" he said softly.
Suddenly Greg heard gushing "James?" Greg asked curiously
"It's gone" James said softly "I tipped it down" James' hands hit the edge of the basin and he sank to his knees sobbing – the tears finally flowing.
The empty glass bottle clinked as it fell the short distance from James' hand to the basin and it cracked at the impact.
Greg hit the speakerphone and placed the phone on the table as he crossed his arms and kept his gaze on the window – his eyes misted over as he listened to James and he rubbed at his own eyes "James, you gotta breathe or you will choke take a breath – breathe" Greg's voice stayed calm and level as he continued to say breathe.
Listening to Greg's voice James took a breath and then another composing himself and his breathing steadied "Where do I go now Greg? I don't want to be alone anymore" he said quietly as he sat down on the cold floor and pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them.
The speakerphone was still on and all James could hear was the silence he looked up at the phone and grabbed it placing it beside him he stared at it "Greg?" he asked
"I'm here" Greg said softly "You are not alone you hear me?; you got your kids – I want my kid James – every day I think about him" a beat "You can hug JJ and Gabriella every night" a pause "You can hug them and tell them you love them, I haven't done that in ten years but you know what?"
James watched the phone silently
"I don't know when I'll get to see him again but I spend every day keeping other families together – and hoping I'll see Dean again" Greg looked at the phone "Just don't lose hope – Do it for your wife and your kids – your kids need you, you're all they have now"
Suddenly a tap at the bathroom door roused James and he frowned "James?" Came Michael's voice and James stood quickly "Greg"
"It's okay - go" Greg said simply and waited for the line to click before he closed the phone and picked it up – he pocketed it and crossed his arms as he looked back at the window again.
"Greg! – hey! Open up!" Ed called and Greg sighed before standing and straightening and heading for the door – hitting the button for the final time Greg stepped out before Ed could speak and headed for the lockers – Ed followed.
"How's he doing?" Ed asked leaning against the locker next to Greg's and watching him "He's getting there" Greg answered softly as he started to change out of his uniform "He just needed someone to talk to"
"How about you? Looks like you need to talk to someone too" Ed replied and Greg glanced at him and sighed sitting down he rubbed his eyes "He hit the bottle Eddie – what was I gonna do? Leave him to it? – he came to me cause I told him to"
Ed hesitated, it wasn't in Greg's nature to not listen to people "Greg, I'm not saying you shouldn't have" Ed sat next to him and regarded him "I'm just looking out for you"
"I know" Greg said leaning down "And I appreciate that" he said offering his friend a wry smile.
"Winnie got pretty worried about you in there – You know you shouldn't scare her like that" he said smirking and Greg shook his head "Didn't want to hang up on him" he said quietly
"You know if he'll be alright?" Ed asked and Greg shook his head "Not yet, I guess I just wait for him to call me" he said quietly and Ed nodded patting his friend's shoulder "You did a good thing Greg"