A to Z
Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!
Episode:- None
Pairing:- Jean/James
Rating:- M
Achieve:- http(:/) . /group/rebeccafrontlewisffarchive/
Summary:- Zealot like dedication is what you have inspired in me and which I have willingly given up to for this feeling, for the completeness and the exhilaration that I feel now I'll have happily be dedicated to you for life.
Author's Note:- Ummm how to explain this one, it's the product of a boring Saturday afternoon basically it's a bit of fluffy smut BUT it consists of 26 short paragraphs and each paragraph begins with a letter of the alphabet. So the first word of the first paragraph begins with A the first word of the second with B and so on and so forth until the first word of the final paragraph begins with Z. I hope you enjoy it and reviews would be lovely!
A glance and my mind is captured by you. I'm lost in the dark warmth of your eyes, the effect of them being like a blanket fresh from the drier cocooning me in the sense of contentment and security that you surround me with just by being in my life.
Bubbling laughter as you glance from one of us to the other and I see the waiter look at you and know just what he's thinking. The musical magic of you laugh can turn heads in a way I've never seen before but then you can turn heads anyway with your beauty in a way you're completely blind to.
Cautiously I reach under the table, brushing my hand against yours a gesture you acknowledge with a gentle lacing of your fingers with mine without ever breaking the flow of your conversation. The gesture, tiny as it is, reminds me that no matter what the situation, how careful we need to be you like to remind me that you are mine always.
Dangerous. The images rushing through my mind as you lean across the table reaching for the salt giving me the briefest of glimpses of your cleavage through the open buttons at the neckline of your blouse are dangerous and make my breath catch painfully in my throat.
Every curve, every inch of your body is imprinted on my memory and yet the tiniest of glimpses of it when I shouldn't be seeing it can still make me lost for words a fact that isn't lost on you as you raise a playful eyebrow at me before giving the others back your full attention.
Freedom to tell them all just what you mean to me, that's what I want, what I crave yet it cannot be, not yet, not now. Freedom is the preserve of those who can love without fear of condemnation and there are too many obstacles for us still to climb.
Gatherings like this are the hardest for me, when you're the centre of attention while the others around the table listen to you speak, being captivated by the way you replay amusing anecdotes and nerve wrecking situations, and I swell with pride at the fact I will be the man taking you home even if they don't know that.
Home. Somewhere that before you was just somewhere to sleep, to change, to go back to work were I could see you again, watch you, love you from afar. Now it's the true embodiment of the name, a place worthy of being called a home because of the joy and warmth you've brought into it.
Intensity passes between us as our eyes lock for a second and the promises they hold, the vows for the evening ahead make my pulse race. You can have me heady with desire for you without a single word. The power you hold over me should be terrifying and yet it's not, for you I'd give up every ounce of control I ever had and trust you to guide me.
"Just another half an hour then I'll make my excuses and you can follow me a little later." Your words are a whisper as Robbie and Laura disappear to the bar for more drinks and I know you're as anxious to get out of here and start our weekend together.
"Keep your hands to yourself then or I'll not care who sees or finds out I'll not be able to control myself." Your fingers are still running along my thigh under the table and it's doing things to me that I know you are all too aware of. You love to tease me and if I'm honest I love to let you.
Love was something I used to believe wasn't for me; a life full of confused decisions and going nowhere relationships seemed to have confirmed that. Then on the day you granted me the honour of being the man you choose to spend your life with, to allow me into your heart and your bed you proved that I was wrong. It wasn't that I wasn't meant to know love it was that I was waiting for you so when I did I know it that knowledge would be of it in it's purest form.
My life changed that day, it became one full of vibrancy and colour, one full of days of excitement and nights of passion, one full of contentment and feelings of completion that I never thought would be for me. You have changed it, changed me in a way that I never believed anyone could and I'll never be able to show you in enough ways how much I love you.
"Not here James. Home. Now!" We've finally broken away from the others and as soon as I've got you alone in the privacy of the car my lips have gravitated to yours and for a second you let me indulge in the feeling before reminding me that we can too easily get carried away and this isn't the place.
"On Friday night's from now on I don't care how much we're talked into it we go home after work I refuse to sit through the torture of being desperate to get you home and having to listen to Robbie and Laura pretend they didn't actually want to go for a drink alone but used us both as their respective alibis!" There's that laugh again as you glance sideways smiling at my words. You know I'm right, you know that we get roped into going with them because they think it makes it safer than if they went alone.
"Perhaps if we started saying no they might finally stop acting like 12 year olds with a crush in the playground and get on with it." It's my turn to laugh at how quickly we forget that it wasn't that long ago that we were pretending there was nothing between us and the fact that we've moved on but yet still can't tell anyone even our closest friends, means we're still on shaky ground with commenting on their reluctance.
Quietly I watch as you focus on the road determined to get us home not just quickly but safely. The street lights flashing past are like the flickering back light of an old silent movie as the amber glow from them picks out every highlight in your hair. The way it fades between lampposts then flashes vividly in my eye line again is hypnotic.
Surely this should have faded, become familiar, lost the edge of desperation that was the characteristic of our relationship when it was new. It hasn't though as illustrated by the fact that we've barely been through the door a matter of minutes when the need to feel a deeper contact of your body with mine overtakes me. Leaving a treasure trail of discarded clothes on our way from the front hall to the bedroom it's as if they are a Handsel and Gretel style map in case we get so lost in each other we no longer know the way back to reality.
As together we fight for control both desperate to be the one who pleases the other first a jumble of arms, legs, naked flesh tumbling onto the bed you finally relent letting me pin your arms gently on either side of your head. I know it's not a victory it's a surrender on your part and the fact that I can coax that surrender from you just increases my need for you.
Under the soft light shed from the lamp by the bed your eyes sparkle, the love in them, the desperation, the raw lust that sends electrical pulses straight to my length is captivating and I can't wait a second longer to make love to you.
Vowing to make sure I show you with every touch, every movement, every word how much I love you, how lucky I am to know that this is where you chose to be and I am the man you chose to share this part of you with. "I love you." The words fall from my lips in a lustful gasp as I'm finally making love to you again and the feeling of wonder and excitement from it never lessens with familiarity.
Whispered words of love and hungry instructions spur me on as I shower your breast in barely connected kisses and move slowly inside you indulging in my own need to hear and feel your every reaction. Your eyes seem to lock with mine as I finally give up my adoration of your body and bring my face level with yours.
X-Ray vision, one more of your many talents, in moments like this you seem to be able to look me in the eye and yet see right into my soul and it's all it takes to break the thread of control I was exhibiting . Now I'm hungry, desperate to see the pleasure explode in those eyes as you are overcome with pleasure, shattered from the intensity of your climax, exhausted in my arms.
You know exactly what I need, what I want and as you kiss me your moans being swallowed in the intensity of that kiss you give me exactly what I've been waiting for and pull me with you the room spinning around me as I fall into your arms trembling with aftershocks of the ecstasy I've only ever experienced with you.
Zealot like dedication is what you have inspired in me and which I have willingly given up to for this feeling, for the completeness and the exhilaration that I feel now I'll have happily be dedicated to you for life. I'll gladly spend the rest of my days loving you with a zeal that is unrivalled it is what I was born for and it's a vocation I will never tire of as you fall asleep in my arms and I know you love me just as much.