*/*/*
Yancy Academy was its own special slice of Hell in Percy's informed opinion. Those incidents with the cannon and the shark tank and the- well anyways they hadn't even really been his fault. Honest! But now he was a 'troubled kid' sent to a school for others who were supposedly just like him. More like it was mostly rich idiots that had produce rich idiot brats that acted out, and thus were shipped off to have their behavior corrected by others since their parents couldn't be bothered to correct it themselves. The one nice thing about this place was Grover. But he was often shadowed by his 'over-protective cousin' Clarisse. Percy was still trying to figure out how the two could possibly be related. They looked nothing alike. But as his mother was married to a giant cockroach he didn't really have room to question family dynamics.
Clarisse had been almost as bad as Nancy at first. But a few weeks back that had changed. He'd been on the way to class one day, and he'd caught some of the Barbie wannabes deciding that because Clarisse wasn't attempting to imitate a plastic toy with her appearance that she was a target. Now Percy didn't like Clarisse much. But he hated bullies more.
"Wow Clarisse, what you do, steal their boyfriends?" His words had the tormentors whipping their heads around at him. "I see they are taking lessons from the Exorcist. Their boyfriends were wise to trade up." The girls had approached him, looking like rabid lionesses. Percy had kept his hands in his pockets, one gripping his smuggled knife. Just in case. "Oh hello, Mr. Brunner." The airheads hadn't even turned to see the fact there was no actual teacher there. They had simply fled quickly spouting excuses as they did so. Clarisse eyed him.
"I could've handled that myself," she grumbled.
"Yes, I realize you could have folded them into a pretzel, but I think Grover would prefer his cousin not be expelled. You're welcome by the way." After that they'd reached at least a neutral ground of sorts. Clarisse no longer glared at him so much anyways.
And then there were the di Angelo siblings. Percy didn't have much interaction with Bianca. They had no classes together and separate lunch periods. But poor Nico was own stuck with the chaos that followed in Percy and Grover's wake. And that wasn't even bringing in the chaos Clarisse caused by being herself in the nearby vicinity. Then there was Nico's love of Mythomagic game, and the ever-growing collection of cards and figurines. Which meant Nico had a nice target painted on his back. And Nico had this sort of lost puppy look to him and Percy couldn't just leave the poor kid to suffer isolation. So plus one adopted minion.
Then the day of the field trip had come around. The museum trip had started out alright, and then Nancy had dumped her food into Grover's lap. Percy wasn't entirely sure what happened next, only Nancy ended up in the fountain and he hadn't touched her despite her claims. But Mrs. Dodds wasn't exactly the investigative type and had called him out. Likely to make him buy Nancy a new shirt or something.
"Um…Mrs. Dodds…the gift store was back there." Percy felt a stone sinking into his gut as she led him further and further into the museum. She didn't answer, just kept walking until they were in the back-most room, no cameras or people in sight. "You gonna answer me?" he frowned at being ignored continuously.
"Did you really think we'd let you get away with it?" her voice was sharp, like a knife over stone. Nervously, his hand twitched towards his jacket where he kept his own blade stashed in a hidden pocket.
"Get away with what?" something told him she wasn't talking about his candy stash he had been selling from his dorm.
"This is your last chance. Tell the truth and you'll suffer far less." Dodds hissed, taking a predatory step towards him.
"It would help if you would stop playing the pronoun game." He snarked, hand slowly moving towards his hidden pocket.
"Die sonny!" she lunged onto to let out a yell as a half eaten apple slammed into her nose, "Son of a-!"
Glancing over his shoulder, ripping out his knife as he saw Clarisse running over, Grover and Nico panicking like chickens with their heads cut off, and Mr. Brunner wheeling his way over in the distance. "Duck Prissy!" Clarisse pulled out a small steel baton and threw it. Some the fuck how it became a spear in midair.
Yelping in a very manly fashion, Percy threw himself to the ground, every hair on his body standing up as the spear threw overhead. A loud whip crack filled the air before he heard the spear clattering against the floor before he even had a chance to get up or turn around. "What ho Percy!" a throw from Mr. Brunner sent a simple pen flying through the air and clicking off his forehead.
"Ow!" he snapped, rubbing his forehead as his brain struggled to keep up with everything that was going on. Back over at the entrance, he saw Nico and Grover desperately looking for anything they can use. Grover pulls out a soda can from the garbage that Nico quickly throws, the aluminum beaning Dodds in the side of the head as she turns her head slowly in their direction.
"He did it!" they shout in tandem, pointing at each other… until she cracked a whip and they started running around like chickens with their heads cut off.
"Seriously?!" Percy snapped at that.
"Stop complaining and fight damn it!" Clarisse yelled, hauling Percy to his feet as she ran for her spear.
"With what?!" Percy snapped, leaping to the side to avoid getting hit in the balls with a barbed whip, "You want me to draw a mustache on her or something?" as he sarcastically clicked the pen it unfolded and expanded into a leaf blade sword. A moment later it seemed to blur before becoming a pair of blades somewhere between daggers and short swords that felt much more comfortable to his hands.
Apparently, he had spent too much time gaping because Clarisse had to tackle him away from another whip strike as Grover and Nico continued to panic, "Stop gawking and get stabby!"
"Right!" Percy charged Mrs. Dodds on her right while Clarisse went left. She had one whip and two targets. Mrs. Dodds ever so rudely decided Clarisse was the bigger threat and whipped towards her. With her looking away from him Percy grinned and shot forward, leaping onto Dodds back. "Yipe!" wings bursting out of her back sent him flying into a wall.
"Damnit Jackson, you had one job!" Clarisse threw her spear only for Dodds to bat it aside again.
"Stop throwing away your jabbing stick!" Percy snapped…only to do the same thing and throw one of his two knives. Dodds ducked and it embedded in a wall. A moment later it vanished only to reappear in his hand. "Sweet!" he threw both…only for them to stay where they were. "Shit!" Percy panicked and ran away with Dodds chasing him and Clarisse chasing her "Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!"
A whip crack on his ass and matching yelp, he dove and grabbed his knives. "Nobody touches my ass and lives!" Percy snarled as he turned to run at the surprised Mrs. Dodds the bat beast from the black lagoon.
"Nobody wants to!" Clarisse cackled as picked up her speed. Giving a yell, Percy dropped to his knees and slid, his knives slashing her legs as Clarisse leapt and jabbed her spear through Dodds' chest. The math teacher from hell dissolved into a pile of sand and without her there to hold Clarisse up, Grover's cousin fell on top of him.
"…Oooooow." Percy wheezed out.
*/*/*
Charon frowned as he studied the four young ones in the room. This wasn't how things were supposed to go, this wasn't close to how things were supposed to go. He hated when things fell apart. He had to mitigate this, try to get everything back on track to ease young Mr. Jackson into their world. Mr. Underwood would keep to the story as ordered, that wasn't an issue. Ms. Larue on the other hand tended to be… temperamental. Not to mention the unexpected can of worms that had been finding the di Angelo siblings. Time to try and bullshit the situation and get the pen back. He had barely moved his wheelchair forward an inch before the four vanished in a flash of light. "Gamó!"
*/*/*
The four kids blinked in unison at their new surroundings. They were in a large room with a single lonely throne, which was currently occupied by a giant man. Percy was beginning to think this day couldn't possibly get any weirder. Especially considering that the giant was dressed like a punk biker complete with a long black ponytail, leather jacket, and assorted jewelry. It did not help matters that the giant's eyes were such an impossibly pale blue that he almost looked blind. "Hello new minions," the giant greeted. Clarisse of course responds by launching her spear at the forehead of the giant. The spear froze midair. As did Percy's two new knives that she snatched out of his hands. "Now that wasn't very nice." Giant's gaze went to the floating knives. "Ah, Riptide. It's been awhile since I've seen you." One massive hand reached up with a spin Percy's twin knives became a large war hammer. Another spin and Riptide was a pen again, which pegged Clarisse in the forehead. "Did you really think that would work? Honestly. But you are level one, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised."
It was Nico who raised his hand, which was answered with a raised eyebrow. "Uhh… who exactly are you?"
"How rude of me. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Moros, god of Impending Doom."
"Level one?" Percy blamed his ADD for the question.
"I was getting to that. Don't interrupt. I swear, children of Poseidon are always so impulsive. Especially the demigods." The supposed god muttered to himself before continuing "You four are now my minions, and you may consider me your new Dungeon Master."
"Poseidon? Demigod?!" Percy was officially going insane. He was dreaming and going to wake up and this was all going to be a bizarre nightmare. Because normal objects were turning into weapons, his math teacher had turned into dust, and now he was talking to a giant biker dude that was telling him his father was the Greek god of the sea.
"Earthshaker, Stormbringer, Father of Horses, yadda yadda," Moros waved his hand flippantly, "those three are so dramatic with their titles. I mean your friend there is a son of Hades. Lord of the Underworld, god of wealth, king of the souls of the dead, etcetera etcetera."
"WHAT?!" Nico was sputtering.
"Sweet Maker have mercy. Do my family tell none of their children anything?" Moros facepalmed.
"… was that a Dragon Age reference?" Nico again, followed quickly by "Did you say Dungeon Master?"
"Yes. My sisters had this whole thief of Zeus' master bolt thing planned. Buuuuut… meh. I feel like meddling with this timeline. And yes, let's get this out of the way. I see different timelines. Trust me, they get weird, and no I will not tell you about them. Oh! I almost forgot! Your reward for your first mini-boss." Moros snapped his fingers and a D20 appeared before them.
"What's that supposed to do?" Clarisse kicked it, sending it rolling. It landed on a one. A single harmless stone came falling from the sky, bonking her in the head. "Ow!"
"Well that was a critical fail. And you rolled it with no enemy around. Congratulations, you wasted your once-a-day roll of the Doom Dice. It is a die infused with my power to inflict the curse of Doom on anyone or anything. Once per day. Limitations and all that." Moros was amused at her, if his grin was anything to go by.
"What's a twenty do?!" Nico was hopping excitedly, picking the die up like it was a precious treasure.
"That's a surprise. Maybe I'll tell you after you finish your first quest. Your goal my minions is to get to camp Half-Blood. Survive. Have fun!" A flash of light and the group were all back in the museum.
"Did that just happen?" Percy questioned.
"Welcome to the world of being a demigod, Prissy. We can talk about you being a kid of the Big Three later." Clarisse slapped his back a little too roughly.
"The most powerful god in Greek existence just turned us into his D&D party," Grover finally managed to squeak.
*/*/*
Omake – The Truth
"Alright. I demand to know what all this demigod business is about!" Percy did his best intimidating stare.
"You're right Prissy, you should hear the truth." Clarisse came over and sling her arm around his shoulder. "You see, the Greek gods exist. And when a god gets very horny and sees a mortal with a nice ass…"
"Lalalalalalalala!" Percy covered his ears while Nico snickered at his misfortune.
"Don't laugh runt! Your mom was so good your dad came back for seconds!"
"LALALALALALALALALALA!" the duo chorused with the loud echo of Mr. Brunner's face palm echoing behind them.