The news that Roy Chamberlin had a mental breakdown during a formal dinner aboard Arcturus had spread like wildfire. Some of the specifics, such as Roy's previous episodes while on liberty, or his growing financial instability at home had been strangely ignored. All anybody knew or seemed to care about was that Roy had pulled a pistol out, screamed bloody murder about 'aliens' and shot himself in the head. He was also the Alliance's best soldier. An N7-designated marine with a Star of Terra and military upbringing.

Shepard had heard about Roy during a test flight with one of the new Sabre-class fighter craft. She'd been conducting an approach run for her landing aboard the carrier when one of the pilots started babbling on about an N7 going ape-shit crazy in front of a bunch of politicians.

"He just started screaming about batarians and turians and how they were out to get us," the pilot had said.

"What did he mean by 'us?'" Shepard asked. The comms got pretty quiet when Shepard voiced her question. The soft spoken stand out amongst her fellow test pilots as an N7 flying with those who were considered 'standard,' she'd made few friends and a large group of awestruck observers.

"Humanity, I guess," came the tentative response. "Did you know him, Lieutenant? I think his name was Roy something."

Everybody in the Alliance had known Roy Chamberlin. Perhaps not his name, as most N7's were given false ID's while at work, but everybody knew of his accomplishments. A champion from his actions on Elysium where he saved the entire colony with only his rifle and a narrow mountain pass. His parents were both Admirals of different battle groups. Even civilians knew him as the mysterious muscle man who'd married Francis O'Leary, the star actress from the hit show Colony Lies.

Shepard landed her craft aboard the carrier vessel and made her report without answering her wingman's question. Of course she had known Roy, hell, she'd had dinner at his house a few times. Roy hadn't necessarily been a friend, but he'd been an all-around nice man considering the job he did. They'd graduated in the same Fireteam in N-school with four others. Roy had been a standout even then, persevering when everyone else was ready to sit down and make the 'Walk of Shame,' as the instructors had called it. A good man who'd obviously been harboring enough demons to commit suicide.

Shepard supposed every soldier had their fair share of demons. N7's especially. She'd been trained to do things that were… morally unacceptable by most standards. Yet she'd never thought of suicide as an option. Not even after the colossal fuck-up that was Akuze.

For the next few hours, as dinner and shower-time rolled around, Shepard heard more and more about the 'crazed commando' that 'blew his brains out' over a politician's wife. That one had gotten a few laughs, with the wife's name changing depending on who was telling that story. Shepard quietly listened while working away at a pile of flubber that the culinary specialists claimed was food.

"I heard the Ambassador… what's his name? Udina? Yeah, I heard he screamed like a bitch when that Chamberlin guy did it. Tumbling over the table and sprinting out with Hershey kisses in his pants." The table exploded into laughter.

"Yeah, funny and all, but that dude was an N7! They're like… the best of the best. Like Shepard."

"Yeah, Shepard. Hey, Shepard, did you know this guy?" Again, the same question. Shepard looked up from her food, a dozen eyes aimed right at her.

"Thought I did," Shepard replied simply. "Maybe not."

They all, thankfully, went back to their rambling. Shepard left a little while later, showered, and headed for her rack. As an N7, she was obliged a private room. It was small, even by ship standards, but it was quiet, solitary, and provided a good place to think. Shepard laid on top of the itchy covers in her casuals with one arm behind her head and the other at her side, fingers tapping against her leg to the rhythm of the Colony Lies intro music. All of this talk about Roy and nothing about his family. What about his wife? Shepard remembered her as a tall, beautiful woman that wasn't her type, but she was undoubtedly the one for Roy.

Shepard finally felt the weight of Roy's death when she imagined his wife going through all of this. These days, most deaths, primarily those involving the suicides and murders of influential people, were so blown out of proportion you could expect a movie deal and a condolence letter rolled into one by the third week after the passing. Humans liked entertainment, if the Rainbow Revolution a century ago was anything to go by. Especially, it seemed, if it came at the detriment of others.

No tears came, Shepard had run out of those back when she'd been an Earth rat. She'd lost plenty of friends then, but this was the first suicide that she'd had to deal with. What could have pushed Roy Chamberlin, the unsung hero of the Alliance, to take his own life in such a circumstance: a fancy dinner in prestigious company?

Whatever assignment he'd been assigned to would be suffering a real loss of talent, skill, and integrity, Shepard decided. She was fairly sure he had never failed a mission, something Shepard couldn't personally stand up to. He'd spent the years since graduation leading combat troops in special operations against pirate bases and freeing slaves. Shepard had been test flying fighter craft and had fired not one bullet in anger in the past five years. Even her armor still looked brand new. Hell, she hadn't even been shot at once since earning it. It just stayed packed away in her locker.

Shepard sighed and decided that the best course of action now was to send a message to Mrs. Chamberlin and offer her condolences. Considering the Discretion Codes that came with being an N7 operator, Shepard wouldn't be allowed to attend the funeral. Of course, explaining that in a message could easily be misinterpreted if Roy hadn't explained things to Francis. She'd have to be clear, but concise.

"Lieutenant Shepard to the briefing room, Lieutenant Shepard to the briefing room."

Shepard sat up immediately at the voice of the helmsman over the intercom. She knew being called by name would have something to do with Roy. She never messed up her reports and always squared her gear away properly, after all. Shepard stood and zipped up her jumpsuit before leaving her tiny room to listen to the captain.

Three days later…

Shepard's ensuing conversation with the captain of the Common Man, the carrier on which Shepard had been a test pilot, had been brief and held little in the way of emotion. He'd thanked her for her exemplary performance as a pilot and role model for other crewmembers but 'regretfully' informed her that she would be transferred per Admiral Hackett's request. Shepard had learned over the years as a soldier to not ask questions in situations like these. It was better for everyone involved if she simply nodded and said, "Yes, sir."

Shepard now waited patiently outside of none other than Ambassador Donnel Udina's office on Arcturus Station, one of the most influential and powerful men in the human race. Arcturus was the nerve center of Alliance command away from Earth, being the largest space station built by the human race. It wouldn't be her first meeting with a politician, though her reasons for doing so were always different each time. Usually they involved her making a case to them about the necessity of having the N7 Project and its usefulness. Never before had her visits prompted a change in mission, however.

Shepard stood at attention as the door to the office suddenly slid open, a young secretary in blue uniform coming out with a datapad in the crook of her arm.

"Please come in, Lieutenant," she said. The secretary's eyes betrayed her feelings when she looked at Shepard hungrily. Shepard quickly broke eye contact, feeling the off-putting desire in them. She quickly walked into the office, taking care to not accidently brush against the secretary.

The office space was arid and cool, with plenty of space to walk around in. In fact, it was large enough for several couches, plants, and coffee tables to be set up, making the office look like a library sitting area. Three men sat in the center of the room, each in a different arm chair and looking sorry for themselves. Shepard immediately recognized Admiral Hackett from a few past meetings, including a brief conversation at Shepard's N-School graduation. She also recognized Udina from several news clips, humorously thinking that he did the pictures little justice. She did not recognize the third man, however, but noted that despite his weary and aged appearance, he was all muscle.

"Welcome, Lieutenant Shepard, please sit down," Udina said as the N7 approached. "Feel free to take a drink."

"No thank you, sir," Shepard said as she sat.

All three of them looked her up and down. Shepard sat straight in her chair, unfazed by their calculating gazes. She'd prepared well before heading out, following orders by coming in her work uniform, a grey jumpsuit with blue trimming, which was just baggy enough to not appear body hugging, but close enough to her body so that nothing was loose. Her hair, dark brown and all curls, was another story. Shepard knew she didn't quite appear to be N7 judging from her stature, but five years of flying ships had resulted in her bulky figure slimming down. Shepard just felt relieved that she had kept up with her cardio workout so as not to appear totally void of physical strength.

As if Udina had been reading her mind, "She's not as strong looking as she is in the file."

"She's been test flying interceptors aboard the Common Man for the past half-decade," Hackett reminded him.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Udina said. Shepard's face remained brazen, but she couldn't help but feel irritated by Udina's attitude right off the bat. She forced herself to square away those feelings. She'd only just met the man. "She hasn't seen combat in that long? Why have N-training at all?"

"We had initially cited her up for a project involving N-grade pilots to engage with pirate vessels," Hackett said. "That project was cancelled and we chose to keep her as a part of the Test Pilot Auxiliary for the time being. I admit that regretfully, Lieutenant, you were forgotten about. I apologize."

"None needed… sir," Shepard said. What the fuck had that meant? Shepard thought angrily. She'd been flying prototype aircraft that usually resulted in cancelled programs and billions in lost revenue instead of fighting slavers… because the Alliance had forgotten about her?

"I think we're doing little to help Shepard understand the situation," the third man said, quiet until now. He looked at Shepard with dark eyes. "No doubt you heard about Roy Chamberlin's death?"

Shepard recognized the bars on his uniform for his rank, "Yes, Captain."

"Well what you didn't know was that he was assigned to be my executive officer. Aboard a brand new prototype ship."

"Then he lost it and shot himself," Udina said grudgingly. Shepard saw flashes of irritation in both Hackett's and the Captain's eyes.

"Shepard, this is Captain David Anderson," Hackett said. Shepard should have known. She couldn't believe she hadn't recognized the Alliance's most decorated combat veteran. Anderson nodded to her. "As he said, Chamberlin was cited to be his XO, but due to matters outside of our control, that is no longer an option. Chamberlin's mental health hadn't been an issue before that night at the dinner. We were just as surprised as his psychiatrist. Needless to say, that particular medical 'professional' shall be getting herself a revaluation."

"The point to all this is, we needed the best to be Anderson's second in command," Udina said. "Chamberlin was the best. No he's dead."

"I'm the fallback, Sir?" Shepard suggested. She supposed she didn't mind being second best.

"Actually you are the fallback's fallback," Udina said uncomfortably. Shepard didn't respond. Udina continued, "We went through every active N7 operative's file and made a roster of those we considered to be best suited for the position. Chamberlin was first, then Lieutenant Aiko Yukimura, then you."

Shepard sighed inwardly. She knew Aiko from training. A Japanese born, colony raised spitfire with enough skill for a whole platoon of marines, but her hatred for anything not human was frightening even to the extremists in groups like Terra Firma. Her story was a sad one, but hers was like many others. Her colony Mindoir, however, was a dark scar on the Alliance's track record as a colossal failure.

"Aiko Yukimura just can't be left alone in a room with anyone other than human," Anderson said. "A good soldier, a good woman, but her scars run too deep for this mission."

"Permission to speak, sir?" Shepard asked.

"Granted," Hackett said.

"What kind of posting involves the human ambassador, the Admiral of the Fifth Fleet, and the most decorated combat veteran the Alliance has to offer to all be in one room?"

"We're getting to that," Anderson said. "This mission will require direct contact with the fellow races, especially turians as they co-created the prototype ship."

"You showed your skill during training, Lieutenant," Hackett said. "We need someone that can cooperate outside of humanity, lead missions that don't always involve the use of firearms, all while being able to adequately complete the administrative duties that are required of an executive officer. Your lack of combat experience in the past five years won't hamper you greatly on this mission. This is an entirely different front."

"This sounds as if I have a choice, sir," Shepard said.

"No, Lieutenant," Anderson said with just a hint of a smile. "This isn't a choice for you. This is your new posting once we've gotten a few things cleared."

"Sir?"

"We'll be having our top psychiatric professionals meeting with you over the next few days," Udina said. "We don't want a repeat of the other day. Also, this project has been delayed two weeks, which is costing us more money that we had anticipated. You'll have that time to become acclimated with the ship, its crew, and your new responsibilities."

"You'll also be getting a promotion," Anderson said. "You and I will be taking care of that in a few days."

While all of this information was coming at her at a rapid pace, Shepard had been trained for that kind of thing. She knew this had to be a good opportunity if Anderson was involved, and her promotion would come with a pay raise. Commander's had a relatively large jump in pay from a Lieutenant-Commander.

"We only called this meeting to inform you of all this, Lieutenant," Udina said. "You'll have until tomorrow night to transfer your belongings to your new quarters aboard the prototype."

"Yes, sir."

"Anderson will give you the necessary information via OSD," Udina said. Shepard took the offered disk from Anderson and tucked it away in her breast pocket. "That information is very sensitive, Lieutenant. Not a soul outside of the crew may know what is on that disk." Shepard nodded wordlessly. This wasn't the first time she had handled sensitive material, even if it had been during her last leg of N-School.

"You are dismissed, Commander," Hackett said. "Welcome to the Fifth Fleet."

"Don't feel too bad." Shepard turned around and saw Anderson exiting the office. As the door shut he approached her and offered his hand. "You aren't the only one being labeled a 'replacement.' Another officer, Eli Zander, was supposed to be commanding this mission. He got sacked for the same reasons Aiko most likely would have." Shepard shook his hand.

"It's unfair to judge a person by what they might do," Anderson continued. "But Aiko can be a loose cannon and after Chamberlin's death…"

"No need for another incident, sir," Shepard agreed. "Does she know she was passed over for this mission?"

"No, there was no need to tell her," Anderson said. "She never had any knowledge of this project. Although, come to think of it, her file was updated not a week ago concerning several visits to a psychiatrist during leave time. She might be trying to sort her demons out, either way, we don't have the time to wait on her."

"I'll do my best, sir," Shepard said.

"No doubts here, Commander," Anderson winked. "You'll appreciate the better pay, Shepard. Anyway, let's get a few things clear before we see each other again tomorrow."

"What's that, sir?"

"If you have any concerns or ideas, you share them with me," Anderson said. "As executive officer, you not only help keep the ship running, but you can also advise me at any time. I promise to take anything you say into consideration. Secondly, not every mission is going to require you to raise your gun. On this kind of posting, your words are vital. Be diplomatic, be forward when you need to be, and build bridges. We'll be meeting many different kinds of people, Commander. We'll be making many friends."

"Of course, sir," Shepard said.

"One more thing," Anderson said. "Chamberlin and I had half a year to get to know this crew. They may be wary of an unfamiliar face. Don't take anything too personally, you hear?"

"Don't worry, sir, if they need their asses wiped they'll soon know to come to me… and then I'll pass them on to you." Shepard smiled as Anderson chuckled.

"Alright, Commander. I'll see you onboard the Normandy at 0600. Don't be late."

A/N: I hope you will all enjoy this new story of mine. I could give a list of reasons why I am taking down the other story but the truth is simple: I just ran out of ideas for that character. This new one is fresh and I have a lot planned. If you really require a full explanation, PM me and I'll do my best to give you the answers. Thank you and please remember to review as you are able and drop some constructive criticism along the way! It's the best way to keep me as a writer motivated and make your voices heard!