Disclaimer: the wonderful world of Harry Potter belongs to JKRowling, and the song belongs to Beyonce. I own nothing other than the plot.
You're everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could've been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?
Draco Malfoy has changed since I've come back to school; the War changed many of us, but he just seemed softer to me. That may just be because he resides with me in the Head Girl and Boy living quarters, but even so you would be able to tell something was different. His face isn't as sunken in as it was before, his eyes don't show hidden anguish anymore, and his hands are more careful and less tense.
He's changed towards me as well. No longer am I the mudblood Granger to him, and we have even become sort of friends. I don't know when that happened, but it did. I'm glad it did. He lets me in now, lets me comfort him through the screaming nightmares.
You're the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I'd love enough to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you're the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can't erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I'll be there at the end of the day
When night time arrives again I brace myself, against everything that is sure to happen. His screams have started again and before I've even put a shred of thought into it I'm climbing into his bed across the landing from mine. I have to comfort him through this, or else we'll go back to the way we were at the beginning, ignoring each other the entire time – I can't stand the thought of being like that again with him, not now at least. He falls into a calm and deep sleep in my arms, and eventually I get some sleep as well. But, it's the same as all of the other times. When I wake up I reach out to find him, only to feel the soft sheets running through my fingers. He's left me. Again. I know what we have to do now – pretend that nothing happened between us last night, yet inside even after all these times my heart still aches. It's the same, always the same. Every night, every morning, every day.
I don't wanna be without you babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you babe
I don't wanna play that part
Somewhere in this messed up jumble of a cycle it happened, I fell for him. Merlin only knows why I did after everything before this strange friendship, but I fell for him none-the-less. I know that he feels nothing of the sort back for me, if he did he would stay in the bed with me without feeling embarrassed that I helped him.
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don't want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don't want a broken heart
And I don't wanna play the broken-hearted
girl...No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I'm no broken-hearted girl
But it pains me even more like that, knowing that Draco Malfoy will never truly be mine. After this year I won't even be there to comfort him through his nightmares, he will have no need for me as he will surely want to live up to his family's expectations. He will grab a fancy pure blooded wife as quickly as he can before all the good ones are snatched up and will live out the rest of his life with her in an unhappy marriage. I could make him happy, I know that I could if he would only give me the chance.
Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I've always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
I don't think he understands how much it hurts when he leaves me in the mornings, but I still feel like I should make it clear to him about what it does to me. Of course to do that would actually require courage, and even though I am a Gryffindor I have none of the sort. But I can't shake the feeling that if I do admit my feelings for him he might consider them. I'm thinking that maybe today would be good to do it, if I wait too long all this new found courage will surely disappear.
You say you've got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you're not deserving me
And still you're in my heart
But you're the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
But I don't complain
Cause I've been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don't hate you
I'm happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day
Okay, here I go. He's just sitting there reading a book. I can do this, I know I can.
"Malfoy, if you don't mind I would like to have a discussion- "
"No."
"What do you mean no, I haven't even asked anything yet!"
"I know what you're going to ask, and no there is nothing that is going on between us that you should feel the need to talk to me about."
Oh.
"Well, thank you for the talk; I think I have learned quite a few things from it." I can't stand here any longer; I walk quickly past the now-reading Malfoy before heading out of the Portrait Hole and down to the Library. I am such an idiot, I should have know what Malfoy would say. But even thought I knew it, I didn't want to accept it, and now I feel more hurt and betrayed than ever.
I don't wanna be without you babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you babe
I don't wanna play that part
The Library provides a welcome comfort for me in my time of need, and as the tears start running stronger I find a secluded corner of the vast room to read my book in peace and quiet. But I can't focus on the book; my mind is still on Draco. I wonder if he even realises what he just did to me, whether he knows that he just shattered my heart into a thousand pieces, I wonder.
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don't want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don't want a broken heart
And I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl
I'm a broken hearted girl. I've never had a broken heart before, and used to wonder what they would truly feel like. But I don't know why, the pain I feel is so immense it's hard to stop the tears running or to speak in a normal voice. I hate him. I love him.
Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be
I'm living in a world that's all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh
The Library shuts.
I don't wanna be without my baby
I don't wanna a broken heart
Don't want to take a breath without my baby
I don't wanna play that part
No more of this.
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don't want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
I've made up my mind. No more am I going to play that part for him, the pain that I feel whenever he's left me has built up so much that it feels as if my life source is slowly being ripped from my body. I know he needs me; I just simply can't cope with it anymore. Tonight will be the night I spend in my own bed. It may ruin what we had going on between us, but maybe this is for the best. When his tormented screams start again I force myself not to get up, and instead turn over and bury my head underneath my pillows.
I must have fallen asleep at some point, because when I wake up light is flooding into my room. When I turn onto my back I feel myself hit something, something warm. A body. Rolling completely onto my side facing in that direction I see the person, him. His face, his angelic sleeping face, as he quietly snores in the silent room. It takes me a moment before it really hits me, the fact that he stayed with me until morning, the fact that he came to find me instead of me finding him. It makes me smile as I cuddle up to his body before falling back to sleep again, hoping to keep this moment real for as long as possible. But I know he'll sliver back into his hole, not caring for the girl I truly am. I know he will. I just hope he won't.
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl
When I open my eyes once more they find the shade of grey right before me. I gasp.
... :D
Did you like that? I came up with it on the bus today when I was listening to this song and I liked the idea so much that I just had to write it today. I really hope you enjoyed it
And I'm sorry for anybody that is reading my stories 'What if?' and 'Tale of Two' as I haven't updated in a while. I will try to update them both soon.
Thanks for reading and PLEASE review :) you'll make me sooo happy!