It was a normal day in the Mushroom Kingdom, blocks were floating, goombas were doing goomba things, and Meggy was helping Tari carry her new sound system through downtown.
"Thanks for helping me with this, Meggy. I didn't think I could carry this on my own." Tari thanked.
"No problem. But you could exercise your arms more. And no, button mashing does not count" Meggy joked. As they went, they heard the artificial screams of Bob heading towards them.
"Meggy! The other one! You got to hide me!" Bob said trying to get behind Meggy. "No matter what anyone says, I didn't do anything." Before either of them asked, Saiko was running towards them with a lamp post and grab Bob by the throat.
"Seriously, Bob. You had some nerve pulling that stunt." Saiko threatened.
"It was just a prank." He pleaded
"Really? CAUSE I'M NOT LAUGHING!"
"What did Bob do this time?" Meggy asked.
"Hi guys. If you want to know, I was just minding my own business at the mall, doing some errands, signing autographs. Then this trash bag somehow gets on the loudspeaker and called me, what was it? Oh yeah. A short-tempered, impulsive, destructive, self-centred, murderous psychopath. to the entire mall!"
"You did just chased me across the kingdom. with a lamppost." Bob commented so Saiko tightened her grip. Tari let go of the box, causing Meggy to drop the box and crush her foot, as Tari got between the two.
"Saiko, let him go. Please." Tari pleaded. Saiko sighed and let Bob go who ran as soon as free. "Wait, Bob. You need to apologise." She shouted. When Bob was gone,she sees Saiko getting the box off Meggy and slumping onto the sidewalk. Seeing how upset she was, they sat next to her.
"Meggy. Tari." Saiko started. "Am I a psychopath?"
"Well, you haven't killed anyone in months so that's something to be proud of." Meggy said, rubbing her injured foot.
"But is it good enough. What if I meet someone I like and I screw it up again like with Boopkins."
"Are you scared of not finding a boyfriend." Tari asked. Saiko nodded so Tari hugged her. "Saiko, you shouldn't be worried about that. You have friends who care about you."
"I know. But I just want to know someone who'll love me more than a friend. Someone who I can wake up to and enjoy evenings with. Someone who makes me feel...complete, you know."
"Nope." Meggy responded. "Never been interested in romance."
"But aren't you and Mario a thing?"
"NO!" Meggy screech in shock "Who said that we were?"
"Everyone does." Saiko told her and Meggy just screamed into the cosmos. During that, Tari grabbed Saiko's hand and looked directly into her eyes.
"Saiko. You may overreact at times, but you're very passionate about the things you like. And although you hate to admit, you're one of the most caring people I know. I'm sure you can make any man you fall for happy." Tari told her and this seemed to brighten Saiko up.
"You're right. I am amazing. And I'm gonna prove that trash bag wrong."
"Yeah." Meggy and Tari cheered.
"After we take my sound system home." Tari reminded.
:3 Meeting People :3
Saiko was sitting on a bench in the park with Meggy and Tari looking for targets for Saiko's affection.
"So lets try something easy." Meggy explained."Just go up to someone and talk to them."
"Are you sure this is a good idea. Last time I did that, I gave them a heart attack." Saiko told her.
"It's just talking. it's not that hard. Look even Luigi can do it." Meggy said pointing to Luigi giving a yellow Princess some flowers but then fainting when she giggle. "Okay, not a good example. But what about Bowser?" Pointing to Bowser kidnapping Peach again. "How about Mario?" Pointing to Mario having a picnic with spaghetti and singing it a song. "It's kinda pathetic that's the best example"
"Don't let Meggy scare you Saiko. Why don't you try talking to that guy over there." Tari suggested, pointing to the pile of cuboids shaped like a blue shirted man. Saiko just shrugged and approached said man.
"So... Seen anything beautiful, handsome?" Saiko flirted but the man just stared blankly at her. "I'm talking about me." But the man kept staring and it was starting to creep her out. And as she opened her mouth, the man pushed her to the ground. When she got up, she say the man flirting with a pigeon.
"So. Come here often?" He flirted to the bird who just tweeted. And then Saiko threw a rock at said bird.
:3 Online Dating :3
In Meggy's apartment, Meggy was setting up a dating profile for Saiko.
"Okay, all set. Now all we do is wait." Meggy said as she finished up.
"Does this actually work?" Saiko commented, sceptical of the whole idea.
"Not sure. I tried setting this up up for Luigi but he never told me how his dates went." Meggy said. Saiko was heading out the door when Meggy shouted, "You got request." And Saiko shoved her out of the way to read it.
"He wants to meet me now! Sorry Meggy, gotta go." and ran out the house to the meeting point in Green Hill Zone. When she got there, she spotted a blue hedgehog looking robot in the middle of the field. "Are you Metal Sonic?"
"PSYCHOPATH. HOLD HANDS." Metal Demanded.
"And now I'm leaving." Saiko said but Metal just grabbed her hand and stood perfectly still. "What are doing you pervert!?"
"QUIET. HE'LL BE HERE SOON." The robot commanded as a blue hedgehog-shaped blur zip by but then reversed back when he spotted the duo.
"Uh... Who's your friend, Metal?" The hedgehog asked in confusion.
"AT LAST, SONIC. I HAVE DONE SOMETHING YOU CAN NEVER ACHIEVE. I GOT A HUMAN GIRLFRIEND." Metal gloated and Sonic just gave the doppelganger the most 'I don't care' look possible.
"Alright."
"YOUR JEALOUSLY IS DELICIOUS. NOW I KNOW I AM THE SUPERIOR SONIC, SINCE NOT ONLY DO I HAVE FRIEND BUT FRIEND LOVES ME MORE THAN ANY ONE ELSE, NO MATTER HOW TALL YOU GET. "
"I didn't get taller. Your girlfriend just tore you apart when you were monologing." Sonic told Metal who just realised his body was scattered across the field.
Saiko meanwhile was sitting on a bench, still angry of her date when she saw Luigi on the other side of the bench. "Cat-fished again?" she asked.
"Yeah..."
:3 Speed Dating :3
Saiko was in a cafe that was holding a speed dating event. After the rules were explained, the first man sat across from her. A blond man in green.
"What's your name gorgeous?" She asked but the man just responded with a yell which left Saiko bewildered. "Uh... What you do for a living?" Another yell. "Where you from?" Another yell. "This is going to be a long five minutes."
Ding
The second man was a big, goat man and the two seem to be hitting it off.
"So you're rock star?I bet your parents are proud." The goat man said.
"You know, I don't even know if I have parents. An anime fan let me out of my game so we can date. Until he broke up with me." Saiko told him
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Was my fault anyway. But we still friends and is very supportive of me."
"Wow. Must be nice to still be friends with..." the goat stopped talking and soon began to cry. "Why won't you take me back, Toriel!?" and the man just broke down into tears. Saiko just felt awkward as she had no idea what to do right now.
Ding
"That last one wasn't too bad. Maybe this evening might actually be nice." Saiko said to herself with a bit of optimism. And then the next person who sat down was a shy guy. "Hello little fella. What your name?"
"YEAH TOAST!"
"Oh'no."
Ding
"Here's what I do. I seat on you."
Ding
"Pingas."
Ding
"Wha? Who's there?"
Ding
"PIZZA!"
Ding
"Rasins."
Ding
"Baby. Baby. Baby."
Ding
"Babies, Babies, Babies."
Ding
"Stupid, stupid babies "
Ding
"Are you okay, Saiko?" Tari said getting Saiko out of her increasing rage.
"Finally, a friendly face!" Saiko said hugging the gamer. "I thought I was going to snap. Almost everyone here is a one dimensional headache."
"Do you want to go home? There's nothing to be ashamed of leaving."
"Maybe. Seeing you has calmed me down. I might give it another shot."
"That's the spirit. Now get ready cause the next one could be the one."
"Yeah!. Bring him on."
Ding.
Saiko straightened herself out and gave her best smile as a man in a blue jumpsuit and red helmet sat across from her. "Hello. I'm Saiko. What's your name?"
"Show me you boobs." he said and Saiko's smile turned into shocked fury.
Meanwhile, Tari was talking to her date about games when Saiko tapped her shoulder. "We're leaving."
"Oh, okay." Tari said and the two left, ignoring the burning body at Saiko's table.
:3 Blind date:3
Meggy and Tari were taking Saiko to the mall to meet someone. "So who's this date you arranged? Should I be worried?" Saiko asked.
"We just looked for your biggest fan on the and asked if they wanted to hang out with you." Meggy explained.
"You're setting me up with a fanboy?"
"Only the best we can find. They should be in the plaza and we told them to wear one of your shirts and to carry one of your balloons so you could spot them. Oh, and their forum name is 'OctopusDestiny'."
"Oh, god. It's one of those people."
"Relax, Saiko. It's going to be okay. If you need any help we'll be in the arcade." Tari told her and she and Meggy left Saiko alone. When she got to the plaza, she spotted someone reading a magazine that was wearing her shirt and holding her balloon.
"Excuse me. Are you 'OctopusDestiny?'" Saiko asked the person.
"So what if I am. You got a problem." The person retorted.
"I was told you wanted to meet me."
"Yeah, I doubt I was suppose to meet a..." the person lowered their magazine and their eyes grew wide when they saw Saiko. The fanboy was not a fanboy at all but a fangirl with purple octopus hair, tanned skin and yellow eyes. "It's you. It's actually you!" the girl said, shaking her hand enthusiastically. "I'm Desti."
"Like destiny. Cute pun."
"Thanks." The two were silent for moment as they didn't know what to do. "Want to get a smoothie." And the two were then having smoothies and sharing tales from their past.
"Wait. You actually tried to get Mario on your team?" Saiko laughed.
"Have you seen that fat idiot in a match? He's a much better player than he looks."Desti tried to explain.
"Okay, okay. I believe you. I just thought Meggy keeps him around cause he's her friend. Have you heard about this rumour that there a couple?"
"They are? I thought I was making fun of them."
"Well Meggy seems to deny it" Saiko explains while she drank her smoothie. "I need to use the bathroom. I'll see you in a sec."
After Saiko left the bathroom, she saw Desti was surrounded by 3 sinister looking octolings, with teal hair and what looked like night vision googles Desti was in trouble, Saiko swooped in and bashed the girls with her hammer.
"Are you okay? They didn't hurt did they?" Saiko asked concerned. Desti just stared at her before she slap her across the face.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
Meanwhile, Meggy was recording Tari playing 2 player Time Crisis by herself. when they the commotion outside. They looked outside and saw Desti creaming her head off at Saiko.
"But... weren't they goons about to attack you?" Saiko thought.
"NO! They were my teammates!" Desti shouted.
"But they had night vision goggles indoors. And they looked the same."
"It's called fashion you...you..psychopath!" Desti called her. Before Saiko could respond, Desti started to walk away. Rejected started to leave. And as she walked, she started to tear up and as she ran out of the mall.
-
Saiko was back in her apartment, crying her eyes out on her bed when she heard a knock on the door. "Go away!" she snapped. She then heard the front door open so she took out her hammer and entered the living room and saw Tari standing there with one of her games. "What do you want?"
"Well, Meggy went to check on your date to make the'res no legal problem so I came here to see how your doing." Tari explained.
"I'm miserable, now go away."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No." And Saiko banged her bedroom closed and went back to bed. Her bedroom door was then opened and Tari sat on the bed next to her and gave her a hug.
"It's okay. You'll find someone someday.
"No I won't. That was the best date I had and I f***ed it up. Bob was right. I am a short-tempered, impulsive, destructive, self-centred, murderous psychopath." Saiko cried as Tari held her til she calmed down.
"You know what cheers me up when I'm sad?"
"Playing games."
"Playing games!" Tari said as Saiko answered.
"I'm not in the mood Tari. Just leave me alone."
"Come on. It's a fun, easy game that I know you'll. LEGO Die Hard."
"If I say yes and play for a bit, would you go away." Saiko asked and Tari nodded her head. Sighing, Saiko got up and joined Tari on the couch as she got the game set up. As they played, the two were enjoying poking fun at the violence, the puzzle and just each others jokes.
-
Later Meggy show up at the apartment and since the door was unlocked, she let herself in.
"Saiko, Are you home?. Your door was opened." She saw that the TV was on when went looked around so she turn it off. When she turned away from the TV, she saw Saiko and Tari sleeping on the couch with Saiko holding onto the gamer like her life depended on it.. Meggy felt her heart warm up at the sight so she got a blanket from Saiko's room and left it on top the pair before she left them alone to enjoy their company.