Liu Kangs Birthday, Yay!
Liu Kang awoke to a nice, cool, misty morning, with the sun just rising. He yawned, today was a special day, It was his birthday. he was 25! He wanted a big party. then, his door burst open and came In Raiden, Kung Lao, sub-zero, and scorpion who was wearing a party hat. "happy passover." said a bored Scorpion. "happy Birthday Liu" said raiden. "we each got you a present." "aww thanks guys." said Liu. "this one's from Sub-zero." said Raiden. Liu opened it and it was a miniature ice clone of Liu Kang. "thanks Sub!" said Liu Kang. "here's one from me." said Raiden. Liu opened it and it was something Liu was dying for, a stereo for his car (he got from johnny cage in Black Palace.) and a subscription to Edenian Girls gone wild. "thank you raiden!" "this present is from me." boasted Kung Lao. liu opened a card that said: hey birthday boy, look inside me. he opened it and it started playing numa numa, It had a platinum Koin in it and had Kung Lao's signature at the bottom. "open the presents!" said Kung Lao. Liu opened the first one and it was a Liu Kang action figure, with a condom. "just in case you and Kitana do it again." also there was the book Tao Of Jeet Kung Do. "thanks Kung." said Liu. "Alright….scorpion!" "yeah?" said Scorpion. "where's your present?" said Liu. Scorpion threw his spear at Liu Kang. "get over here!" he flung him down the stairs, and hit's a big couch. "what…you got me a couch…..awesome!" said Liu. "yeah, It cost a shitload of money." said Scorpion. "so…uh….we made your favorite breakfast." said raiden "you mean…..Rice krispies? said Liu Kang. After eating his Breakfast, Liu Kang goes with Kung Lao to a movie. When he comes Back…..
SUPRIIIIISE!
All OF lIU'S friends are there, raiden, Sub-zero, Ermac, Bo rai cho, Kitana, Nightwolf, Jax, Sonya and, Johnny Cage. Some of His enemies were there too: Shang Tsung, Kano, Reptile and, Goro. Kitana walked over to Liu. "so, Liu I…..I recall that incident at the last party, Y'know, remember what you forgot?" she said. "heh….uh yeah…about that…..are you pregnant?" he asked. "Listen….I went to Argus, he said to see if I have any cravings, or…ohh!You have cake." she ran to the cake and Li Mei popped out, topless. "surprise!" she said. everyone turned to look at her. "woah…said Kung Lao. Li Mei puts her top back on. "hey Kung!" she said, she walks over to him. "uhhhh….hhhhheeey?" he said. "how are you?" she said. "uh…good?" he replied. "so, how's the vase that knocked you out?" she said. "broken…..find a boyfriend or a job yet?" "no and yes." "what job." "stripper." "ah" "Liu, hey…Liu?" said ermac. "yeah?" said Liu. "Y'know what would make this party better….Banania!" he said. "banania?" said Liu. "french cereal, with a nigg…." "woah! racist man!" said Liu Kang. "sorry sorry, one of our souls was a klan member." said ermac. "so…Ermac, you seen Kitana?" said liu. "yes…we have, drinking directly from the chocolate fountain." they said. "thanks guys, said Liu. Liu went to the chocolate fountain, Kitana was covered in chocolate and many men were chanting "chug, Chug!" and pinning dollars in her suit. "kitana!" shouted Liu Kang, he got her down and gave her a dirty look. "what were you thinking!" said Liu Kang. "I'm hungry." said kitana. "Kitana…..are you pregnant…just think what would happen." said Liu Kang.
DayDream.
Shows an older LIu Kang, with glasses, and a suit, holding a breifcase, and an older Kitana wearing a skirt. "bye honey….I'm Going to work." said . "bye" said Mrs. Kang. "so…Little Kung" she said to the baby. "Daddy is going to be at work till 5." Outside you can see Liu as a dragon chasing some teenagers. "After 5 he'll be home for dinner. "dada." said the baby. You can see one of the teenagers legs in Liu's mouth, wriggling.
end of daydream.
"I doubt we'd name him Kung" said Kitana. "whatever" said Liu. "just promise me you'll stop eating chocolate." "okay." said Kitana. "now, what should we do." Back with Raiden, who was eating some Banania. "yo!" he said To Shang Tsung. "raiden…what is that!" shang tsung said, pointing to something brown flowing from the bathroom. "oh crap!" said Raiden. "everyone to the backyard!, Someone took a massive dump." everyone runs to the door. Bo Rai cho vomits, then is ubducted by the crap, he farts when it takes it over. Johnny cage trips and the poo slithers under him. he screams and screams and the poo goes in his mouth from both sides of his mouth, then is buried. The next victim was Kano. "aye!" he shouted. THen the box of Banania was buried. "Banania!" shouted raiden. "NOOOOOOOO! You son of a bitch, Sub-Zero freeze it!" "okay" said Sub-zero. Sub-zero froze it and smashed all of it. "whew" said Liu. "so….Let'ssssssssssssss go back to the party!" shouted Reptile. Raiden rushed to where the banania was buried. "Why…why….WHY! I should resurrect you instead of Liu Kang. wait…he's resurrected, I shall resurrect you." after "resurrecting" his Banania, raiden goes into the bathroom to eat it. liu kang Kontinues (heh..heh..see what I did there.) His conversation with Kitana. "I…Just…I'm royalty, for our baby to…be made to a non-married couple….I mean my people love you, so do I, still my mother, and the people would try to ill you." said Kitana. "eh…..I could take 'Em." said Liu kang. "I'd help you!" boasted Kung lao, who by his side was Jade and Li mei. "c'mon…..let's go girls." They headed to the bathroom. "still…we could always have an abortion." said Kitana. "You best not!" Liu shouted. "awwww raiden!" a distant shout came from far away. "kitana, I can't marry you, think of the wedding."
Flashforward!
"you may now kiss the bride." The two kiss, but then Liu Kang starts to swell, then it looks like he's full of air, HE EXPLODES!
End of Flashforward.
"oh crap, well…we'll have an edenian wedding!" said Kitana. "an Edenian wedding?" said Liu kang. "shit!" shouted Kano, "I'm still under crap!" I need to make up an edenian wedding, and quick, Kitana thought. "uhhh yeah! you say your vows, get 20 onyx Koins, eat a giant edenian pie, and eat tons of little ones, then you get in the giant, awsome Limo type thingy and go home." "I like that Idea." said Liu kang. "so will you marry me?" "no" "dickwad." "sorry" "okay." They go upstairs to watch some T.V when they hear some moaning in the bathroom. "oh…oh yes! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!" said a familiar voice. Liu kang whispered something in Kitana's ear. "ooohhhh…I Like that." she said. They went into the attic and removed a board, they then killed the power to the bathroom, and dropped the Lightbulb. It landed on Kung Lao's head. "Good Job." Liu kang said To Kitana. " was that Li Mei in there?" said Kitana. "most Likely." Liu Said. "and Jade." Meanwhile, something bad happened. "don't Ignore me, why don't we make Love!" shouted a VERY Drunk raiden, clinging on to Scorpion. "GET OUT OF HERE!" shouted scorpion. he Threw raiden against the wall, Burned him with hellfire, then grabbed a Microphone and started singing. "they tell me Maria, you know I am a righteous man!" scorpion sung. "so uh….Liu, can you help me?" said Sub-zero. "sure." said Liu Kang. "well…I wanna ask out sareena, but I get this warm chill…" said Sub-Zero. "so…because you're cold, you get warm?" said Liu Kang. "can you ask her out for me?" said Sub-zero. "okay." said Liu kang. Back downstairs, things were happening. "hellfire, Now Gypsy it's your turn!" Sung Scorpion. "yo!" shouted someone. "you should try out for Kombatant Idol." "uh….okay." said Scorpion. "great, show up tomorrow at 9 A.M. "alright, who's the dickwad who dropped this Lightbulb on me!" shouted Kung Lao. "Make love to me Scorp-guy!" shouted Drunk raiden Liu Kang stared at what would be the camera and said…"Happy birthday me!"