Playing with Fire

"You know, if you keep showing up here like this—"

"This is serious," Ali said pushing herself up onto the examining table. "Doctor," she smiled seductively at him. "I have a pain."

"You are a pain. Look we've been over this. I'm a snarky, angry, bitter old man, and you're just a kid. If you are having a serious medical problem go see another doctor. Preferably a woman doctor, although that could be pretty hot too. Hang on I'm gonna go find Dr. Cuddy." House grabbed his cane and reached for the door, but Ali stopped him with a hand on his forearm.

"I just thought you might have a present for me."

"Why would I—" House was cut off by Ali nodding in the direction of a calendar hanging on the wall.

"Tomorrow night," she said. "I'm having a party at a restaurant called 'Luke's' you should come."

"I'm not really a party animal."

"It's going to be a very private party." She winked at him and slid off the table. She moved in close and House recoiled slightly but didn't back away. "I'll see you around Dr. House." She let go of his arm and exited the room, leaving House holding his breath.

Fifteen minuets later House walked out of Exam Room #2 looking a little frazzled and deflated. This did not go unnoticed by Cuddy who was in the middle of biting off the head of a young nurse who had mixed two patients charts that caused a woman with explosive diarrhea to be given Viagra and a man with an impotence problem to be sent home with laxatives.

"You need to just go home and come back when you have learned to read and write on at least a tenth grade level." She snipped then turned to intercept House who was trying to slink past her.

"I saw your teenage stalker going into the clinic. You're going to get yourself into serious trouble with this girl, you know that right?"

House rolled his eyes and kept walking away but she caught up and walked with him back toward his office. "She's not a stalker and I'm not going to get into trouble. Haven't you ever had a crush on a teacher or a boss before that just ended up going away after you realized how insane it was?" He stopped walking and turned looking her up and down, "I mean aside from the ones you actually slept with."

"She's seventeen!"

"Not as of tomorrow. Our little girl is going to be a woman."

"That doesn't make it any less creepy. You are forty seven years old for Christ sakes. Where do you see this going?"

"Well I see it going in my apartment, in the back of her car, in the hospital stairwell, Exam Room #2, I can even see it going in your office, right on your desk. How hot is that!" House smiled and pushed open the door to his office leaving an open-mouthed Cuddy standing in the hallway.

"Differential diagnosis people," House said to his team who was sitting around the conference table witnessing but not hearing the exchange in the hallway.

"What's wrong with Cuddy?" Cameron asked. She too had not gone oblivious to little miss teen USA who had been making her presence felt all over this hospital.

"Hormones," House said, "The more important question is: 'What's wrong with our patient?'"

It's going to be a very private party. House couldn't sleep that night. She obviously wasn't serious. Was she? No, of course she wasn't serious. Girls that age don't know how to do anything but tease. This was starting to get ridiculous. If some shifty little girl could wiggle her thong at him and get him this wound up…he really needed to get some some. He wondered if it was too late to call his hooker. His hooker, like she was his girl Friday or something. House picked up the phone. After a few rings Wilson picked up.

"It's three in the morning."

"I've been fantasizing about a teenage girl for six months now. Today I almost threw her down on an exam table and licked her make-up off."

"Okay I'm up."

"She turns eighteen today."

"You're not serious."

"Well I could card her but—"

"I mean about seeing her. You're not actually considering this."

"Oh. Okay well, I'm glad we got that cleared up."

"This is too creepy even for you."

"I've never had anyone come on to me like that."

"What about Cameron?"

"Cameron understands the word 'no' this girl obviously does not."

"so if Cameron had stalked you and shamelessly attempted to seduce you she would be in like Flinn?"

"No. And no I'm not thinking about it." House hung up the phone. That conversation obviously was not helping. House rolled over and stared at the wall for another hour before finally pushing himself out of bed.

When Cuddy arrived at the hospital around eight House had already been in the clinic for two hours.

"What are you doing here?" She asked him.

"Oh the usual. Taking temperatures, looking at rashes, giving out medicine…you know, doctor things."

"You don't usually stumble in here until after ten, and even then I have to drag you in by the short hairs to get you to cover the clinic. What gives?"

House looked absently over her shoulder.

"Just catching up on hours, boss."

"And your actual patient?"

"Stable." He was still looking past her to the entrance of the clinic.

"Your zeal to man the clinic wouldn't have anything to do with a certain someone we both know? About 5'4" blond, can't keep her pants all the way over her as—"

"Hey," House said, "you're just mad cuz she stole your look…I told you once the saddle bags are in the red thongs are out."

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "You have got to stop this. I know it feels good to know that someone still wants you. To have someone who looks like her to come on to you in such a strong way is good for your ego but this is not healthy. And she might be infatuated with you, the rugged older sarcastic doctor with dreamy blue eyes and a big wooden stick right now," House smirked and tilted his head, "but" Cuddy continued, "I guarantee you the first time you get annoyed with her and snap or call her an idiot she will be out the door, gone faster than her daddy's paycheck."

House frowned and looked over Cuddy's shoulder again. He saw a blond walk through the doors. Not her.

"Okay." Cuddy gathered her files into her arms, "I would love to stay here and cruise for chicks with you, but I have doctor things to do."

"Cuddy."

"What?"

"I'm not stupid."

She nodded. "I know," she said.

House left the hospital at five on the dot. He spent the better part of his afternoon driving back and forth between the hospital and his apartment. Finally he stopped at an outlet mall and walked up and down the isles looking for potential birthday-gifts. He stopped in front of a small wooden jewelry box. It was generic, perfunctory, meaningless. She would love it. He carried it over to the cashier, grabbing some wrapping paper and a bow on the way, and nervously paid for them. I swear he thought, if anybody says anything about how this will make a great gift for my daughter, I'm going to smack them in the head with my cane and run out of the store. That's right run. But he got no reaction from the cashier.

He didn't primp himself at home; he didn't even change into a clean shirt or brush his teeth. He arrived at the restaurant at ten after nine. It wasn't a particularly romantic setting. It was dark enough, but the tables were situated too close together and the noise from the kitchen overpowered the congested dinning room. House waived off a young hostess who was asking if she could set him. He moved through the restaurant peering in each booth. She wasn't here. He wasn't surprised. He tucked the gift under his arm and ambled toward the exit.

"You're not leaving already, are you?" came a voice behind him. House forced himself to relax before he could turn and look at her. "My party hasn't even started yet."

When House turned around she was standing before him in a black red and white plaid skirt that ended just above her knees and a white top that showed more cleavage than most of Cuddy's clothes. And knee high socks…she busted out the knee high socks.

"You're staring," she said.

"I was just thinking that if there was a sure fire way to make yourself look even younger to the old man you are trying to seduce, knee high socks would be the way to go. That's what did it for me, about twenty years before you were even born."

"You don't like it?" She asked, knowing better.

House changed the subject. "I didn't really think you'd be here."

"Of course you did," she said. "You wouldn't have come if you thought I wouldn't be here. What I find fascinating is the fact that you showed up."

House handed her the wrapped jewelry box under his arm. "Happy birthday."

Ali smiled at him and took the gift. She also grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the restaurant. She led him through a maze of tables to a part of the restaurant he had not seen on his first trek through. Behind a partisan was a heavy wooden door leading to a room with only a handful of tables and only one set, back in the corner. A deep red table cloth ran to the floor and a single candle was providing most of the light. They were alone.

"Let me guess, you have a crush on the restaurant owner too?"

"The manager is a friend of mine. I thought it would be better like this. Quiet, so we could…talk."

"Uh huh."

Ali settled into a chair, which had been seated directly next to House's chair. She would be close enough that he would be able to smell her Bal ties perfume. He didn't really have a choice he reasoned. It was either sit in the chair or stand, and of course his leg hurt.

Ali started to tear the paper off her present as House sat down. She unwrapped the gift and set the small wooden box down in front of her.

"This is a BS gift." She said.

"What?" House was surprised. He fully expected her to shriek and gush in the way only teenage girls could.

"This is the kind of cheap, meaningless thing a person gets someone they don't give much thought too."

"Well that was kind of the idea."

Ali scooted to the edge of her seat so that her knees were touching House's. She leaned into him.

"I don't understand why you keep running from me. I know you like me. I'm hot as hell." House smirked at her self assuredness. That was egomania he could respect. "You think because your leg is messed up that I won't like you. What, like you're too complicated for me or something?" She wasn't angry, as House first assumed. She was teasing him. Again. Only she wasn't teasing. No, she was daring him.

"You're like playing chicken with a freight train," House said. Ali reached out and traced her index finger down his fore arm and made circles in the palm of his hand.

"And I bet I can guess whose gonna give first," she snickered. She stood up and walked over the door which lead back to the main dinning area and swung it closed, locking it behind her. When she turned back around House was standing in front of her.

"Just remember," he said. "I'm doing this for your own good." He hooked his cane on the back of a nearby chair and stepped forward, towering above her and forcing her back against the wall. Ali barely had time to react before his lips were on her. She stumbled against the wall but quickly regained her composure. She wasn't going to let him trip her up, she was cool as celery and this old cat was not going to get the better of her. She snaked her arms around his neck and stood on her tippy toes to challenge his kiss with a furious one of her own. House ran his tongue along her bottom lip and pushed his body into hers, trapping her against the wall. He placed a hand on her waist and slid it upward until he came to the curve of her small breast. He ran his thumb along her nipple and squeezed ever so slightly. At this Ali jumped. She pushed him away and ducked out from under him.

"Okay, I give," she said. "You win."

House turned to face her. He wiped her saliva from the corner of his lips with his thumb then looked away, embarrassed.

"I told you," he said. "You don't want to play games with me. You won't win." He grabbed his cane off the chair and walked back over to the door.

"Dr. House?" Ali said. House paused and turned back to her. "You're a good kisser. You should do it more often. But with someone who knows how to kiss you back."

House looked away and smirked, then walked out of the restaurant.

The next morning, House walked into the hospital around ten and found Cuddy waiting for him in his office on his desk.

"I've got a case for you," she said before he even had his jacket off. "Fifty year old female presented with a sore neck and a gross rash on her back."

"Meningitis." House said without looking up at her.

Cuddy crossed her legs and smiled. "Nope. No fever."

House did look up at this. "I told you, you're getting too old for floor sex. Rug burn and all."

Cuddy rolled her eyes and tossed the folder down on his desk. She knew she had him. House watched her walk to the door and open it.

"Cuddy?"

"Hmm?"

"I found this great restaurant on Sixth, it has a nice room in the back; kinda quiet." He paused for a second to make sure she was following him. "Do you want to have dinner tonight?"

THE END (for now).

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