Mello has never been a girl.
But he ain't exactly a guy either.
Matt wonders about how the hell nobody else's noticed yet. The signs are really everywhere. Distinct lack of bulge in skin tight leather pants, the trash being emptied monthly in a horde full of lazy despicable not bleeding bastards, the toilet seat being left down, pill bottles with stripped labels- Matt finally got the results for those, by the way, psh.. Midol. - and the ever typical and eternal obsession with chocolate.
"May I fucking help you?"
"Naw, dude. I'm cool."
Maybe that's why he's so pissed when people call him a girl. He guesses gender identification must be pretty important for him. Personally, knowing Mello's secret makes Matt even hotter around the collar than he did when he thought Mello was a hot and a 100% male piece of tail. And that's a feat.
"Why the hell are you still staring, then?"
"You look really fuckin' bangable. Like... I wanna bang you right now. What say you?"
This particular incident lands him in the hospital for a cracked rib. Next time, he'll flirt when Mel doesn't have steel toed boots on. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.
::Fastforward six days of horrible pain and kickedthefuckouttery::
"You got hella balls, faggot. Let's get the fuck outta here, hm?"
"Shut the hell up, jack,"
He must be pretty mad, too. Mello kicked him out of base and he's been out of work for so long he had to pull another hack job for motel money. He's never really needed a place to stay since he found Mello. That's okay though, he's coming around. Else, he'd not be sending Joney to pick him up. When they exit, they don't bother checking out, and don't pay either, because while this is a hospital, it ain't a legal one. Hospital is technically defined as an institution providing medical and surgical treatment and nursing care for the sick and injured. Yeah, it's a hospital- Matt pops a pair of pain pills- but just barely. Matt opens the door of the Benz outside and climbs in precariously.
"Nope. Fags sit in the back,"
"Not gay,"
"Bisexual counts as a faggot,"
"Did you know that your girlfriend is seeing not one, but two other women? They rode in your car,"
Hair on the back seat, long and dyed red and brown and green respectively. Three pairs of panties, all of them smell different. Residue of clearish liquid on the back of the seat and the seat smells like shrimp. Mello wouldn't smell like shrimp. And if he did, Matt'd be having shrimp cocktail. Shamelessly. Because it's Mello.
"Girls don't count, lesbians are hot,"
Matt doesn't have a response to that. It's literally that dumb. Fuck it. He climbs into the back seat and Joney starts up the car. The rest of the ride is spent in brain-dead silence for Joney and that of a bewildered sort for Matt. When they stop, he's tempted to barrel roll out of t he car. Except his chest still throbs and he's lazy. So he opts to go inside and to his room the normal way. He sees Mello on the way up and waves.
Mello glares at him and spits on the floor. Surprise, surprise.
Still sexy as hell. So so sexy and he wishes he'd just let him show him. He'd... he'd.. He collapses on his bed and thinks of exactly all of the things he'd do. Jesus, has Mello even done anything like this? Between Kira, Mafia and Whammy's he doesn't see when there was even time. Which means that Matt'd be given the once in eternity chance to show him everything.
His cock twitches. He briefly debates having a round with his right hand. The answer -obviously- is yes.
And then it turns to no when Mello slams his door open while Matt's hand's on his spurting cock and he's staring at blonde transvestites on his laptop screen.
Shit always shoots off when Mello's around.
Psh.