Regret, Redeemed
By: LivvyWriter
Summary: Chloe realizes after she and Jimmy break up that her secret was never as important as Jimmy and she's determined to fix things: if he'll let her, that is.
A/N- I was FURIOUS after chloe and Jimmy broke up and I decided to fix it. Chloe is getting her whole life messed up and I hate it. Lois takes her job, Kara pretty much takes Jimmy, and she's meteor infected. Common' CW, GIVE CHLOE A BREAK!
Chloe exited the Daily Planet, tears beginning to fall more freely. They clung to her eyelashes, blurring her vision. Speeding up, a gust of wind whipped her long coat backwards.
"Maybe the earthquake wasn't a sign afterall.." Jimmy's words continued to dig at her; grabbing on to every heart string.
Chloe couldn't believe what had just happened. Jimmy, the only man to ever give himself to her entirely, had broken up with her. Chloe felt like Dr. Knox had continued to cut out her heart. She wouldn't have noticed now, anyway.
Why couldn't she have gotten the nerve to tell him? Her mind kept telling her that he wouldn't love her if he knew her secret..but her heart said that Jimmy would love her no matter what. She wondered what the point was of not telling him. She was so worried that he wouldn't love her anymore if she did, but what had she done tonight? She hadn't solved the problem, that's for sure.
Chloe kept walking, making sure to keep her head down and her tears secret. 'Just like everything else in my life..' She said in a harsh whisper.
Chloe never knew that she loved Jimmy. Of course she knew she wanted to be with him, but love? Chloe thought that Clark was the only one that she would ever love, but it was a different kind of love, an unrequited kind of love. Jimmy's love, well it was extraordinary and awkward, all at the same time. They were always fumbling for words with bright smiles and nervous giggles. And when they touched, oh when they touched, there was a spark of recognition. The recognition that said, these two bodies are meant to be this way, to be this close..
Chloe stopped dead in her tracks. She lifted her head up and looked around. The streets were full like always, but Chloe noticed something new. People walked past each other, making sure not to make eye contact. They held their bags close to their bodies and their mouths firm. Everyone was so busy trying to keep to themselves that nobody noticed each other anymore. Everyone on this street had a problem, something that bothered them. Everyone on this street was keeping something from someone. Everyone on this street looked miserable, and Chloe was now one among the many numbers.
She didn't want that.
Chloe turned around and at a much brisker pace, began to walk. Before long she was passing the daily planet, and before she knew it, she was at a familiar building with old stone steps. She groped the bottom of the doormat and grabbed the extra key. Once inside, Chloe looked around frantically.
"Jimmy? Jimmy are you here?" Chloe dropped her bag and began to walk through the dark loft. In front of her she saw a light in the kitchen. "Jimmy?" She called again. 'Please be here..' She said, under her breath.
"Jimmy if you're here I'm sorry. I can't tell you how sorry I am. Jimmy..please.." She entered the kitchen and she saw no one. She let out a breath that she hadn't known she'd been holding. But with that breath came sobs; the kind of sobs that shake your body and make your legs go weak. She began to heave and let herself slide down in front of the refrigerator.
"What have I done.." Her shaking hands struggled to cover her face. She drew her knees to her body and laid her head in her arms. Her small body continued to shake and for once, Chloe felt completely helpless.
"Chloe?" Chloe jerked her head out of her arms and her swollen eyes took in Jimmy.
He made the motion to come closer but then restrained himself. He put his hands in the back of his worn in jeans, and then let them rest by his side again.
"Jimmy.." She struggled to stand up and then used an already sopping wet hand to wipe her eyes.
"Jimmy, I couldn't- I can't- I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore.." She steadied her shaking voice and struggled to make eye contact with his sad eyes.
He continued to stand there, looking anywhere but her face.
"Jimmy, what I can't tell you..it's something that you wouldn't want to know if I told you." Chloe took a tentative step forward as if he would bolt at the mere sign of movement.
"Shouldn't that be my decision?" He asked; a slight tone of pleading hidden in the coldness. Chloe then noticed the wet tracks on his shirt causing her heart a sharp pain.
"Jimmy-" She began, but was Jimmy stopped her.
"Chloe, what just happened hurt me worse than I ever thought possible. It made me realize that I must have expected so much more out of our relationship than you. You would wake up thinking, what's the story for today? I would wake up and think, what can I do to make Chloe my girl today? I loved you Chlo, and you took my love and threw it aside like it didn't matter. I can't take that much more abuse, Chlo!"
A small torrent of tears erupted from Chloe's eyes. "Jimmy-I-"
"..and Chloe, if you knew how it feels to love someone that doesn't trust you enough to tell you everything..or how it feels to love someone that just doesn't love you back..Chloe then you would understand..but sometimes-"
"Jimmy I'm meteor infected. I'm a meteor freak. I'm not normal. I healed Lois when the dam broke and she was shot, and I brought her back to life. Jimmy, I brought her back to life..just by touching her.. I died, Jimmy, I died. I woke up in the morgue and Clark saved me and we torched my death certificate." Jimmy's eyes widened and his face blanched slightly.
"Why didn't I tell you? I was afraid of the face you're giving me right now. I was afraid that instead of seeing the girl that broke your heart, you would see a meteor freak. I've heard you say that all meteor freaks should be locked up. Jimmy, I didn't want to be one of them..i wanted to be your girl."
Then the words stopped coming. It seemed that when Chloe confessed, everything seemed to pour out, but what about when it stopped? Chloe wasn't sure what to say anymore. They continued to stand in complete silence; the only other sound being the drip of the faucet which acted like the second hand on a clock.
"Chloe..I..I don't know what to say.. When I thought you were keeping something from me, I suspected something like another boyfriend or even the oncoming apocalypse..but I was never expecting this.." He put both his hands on top of his head and then took them off.
"I know Jimmy, and I can't take back what I've just told you, but I had to prove to you that I love you and I DO trust you, with everything, even my darkest secret. I don't regret telling you even if you do see me as a freak now. Please don't tell me that you don't. If you saw how you are looking at me now..if you saw..you would understand." Chloe's sad eyes pierced into Jimmy. Jimmy felt part of his heart break. They stood in silence for awhile, and then Chloe began to walk out of the kitchen. Jimmy followed her, not sure what to say.
"I'm sorry that it had to end this way, Jimmy. I really have loved you. I didn't think I did, I thought that we were something temporary, but I began to love you in a way that I wanted to love someone for the rest of my life. I'm sorry Jimmy." Pulling her coat around her, she leaned down and grabbed her bag. With her back to Jimmy, she wiped away another tear.
She waited a couple more seconds before she realized that he wasn't going to try to stop her. She realized that it was only in movies that the guy professed his undying love for the girl. She locked eyes with him one more time, and then walked out of the loft.
"Did that really just happen?" Jimmy asked himself as the door closed behind Chloe.
"Let me get this straight, the love of my life tells me that she's meteor infected and I can't say anything. She tells me she wants to be with me for the rest of her life and I stand there." Jimmy had the worst habit of talking himself through things. He also had the worst habit of pacing when he wasn't sure what to do.
"I still love her. Damnit i still love her..and I let her walk out believing that her power to heal people changed the way I've always felt about her.. I'm an idiot. I love her and no amount of meteor in her body could change the way I feel.." The anger at himself began to boil. He picked up the nearest thing and hurled it against the wall. He felt the pleasure as it shattered against the wall. He reached down for something else and hurled it too. "I'm a DAMN FOOL." He yelled, reaching for something else.
"I wouldn't throw that if I were you. You're grandmother gave you that for your 7th birthday." Jimmy spun around, startled at the sudden voice.
"Chloe!" He said; his heart leaping. She moved closer, a smile appearing through the tears. She reached for his hands and gently took the porcelain globe from his hands.
"You've always wanted to work at the Daily Planet, even when you were seven." She said, smiling at the globe in her hand. She placed it gently behind her on the table and turned her attention back to Jimmy.
"Chloe, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to let you walk out like that-" He began.
"I came to return your key and I caught your speech." She said, a smile beginning to brighten her sad face.
"Oh Chloe, I should've said it while you here..but nothing could ever keep me from loving you. I don't care if you grow an extra head or turn green, it's another part of you that I'll love." He grabbed her hands, bringing her closer.
"It's not like that Jimmy, I won't sprout extremities or change colors, but I still don't know what else is going to happen. I didn't tell you because I knew how you felt about meteor freaks." She said; her gaze locked on their hands.
"I didn't know that the love of my life was one of them..believe me, if I knew I would have thought a little differently. I love you Chloe Sullivan, no matter what."
She felt a glow pass through her body and a feeling of warmth spread to her fingers and toes. Standing on her tip toes, she let her mouth crash into his, and felt that familiar tingle, that spark of recognition that said, these two bodies are meant to be this way, to be this close..
Maybe for once, things were going Chloe's way.