A/N: In response to many reviews,I am making these for all of the Avengers and Agent Coulson. Enjoy!
Thor Odinson: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of a THOR ODINSON unit! Here are some tips on how to use your unit to its fullest extent:
Technical specifications:
Name: Thor, Brother, God of Thunder
Age: About 28(not entirely sure since he's a Norse god)
Height: Approximately 6'12"
Weight: with or without Mjolnir?
Place of Manufacture: Asgard
Length: His Mighty Hammer
This unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) Full suit of battle armor, red cape included
One (1) Fake Mjolnir
One (1) gray T-shirt
Three (3) pairs of lowrise jeans
One (1) Silver winged helmet
Programming:
Boxer: This unit's strength and fighting abilities are unmatched, simply put him in the ring for a few rounds then rake in the cash.
Male model: This unit's incredible physique is absolutely perfect for modeling all sorts of clothes. He's sure to rake in a decent amount of money.
Bodyguard: Say goodbye to those creepy, obsessive possessive ex-boyfriends. This unit is sure to scare away all unwanted attention from men, but this does have drawbacks when around women.
Removal from packaging: This unit is a rather friendly, albeit a bit rough, character. The following ways are some of the safest in removing this unit from the package.
1. If you are sure he will not attack you, simply open the box and reprogram him directly.
2. Find a Jane Foster unit(exceptionally rare) and leave her with the box for a minute or two then quickly have her leave once your THOR ODINSON unit is out of the package.
3. Place a large mug of beer by the box then take cover. Your unit will burst out of the box and begin chugging the beer. It will be perfectly safe to reprogram him while he is doing this.
4. Place a steaming plate of meat by the box and again take cover. Your unit will burst out of the box but do NOT try to directly reprogram him. He may attack you, thinking you were after his food.
Reprogramming: Once you have successfully removed your unit from its package here are the modes you may wish to change him to:
Hardheaded(default)
Stubborn(default)
Big Brother
Romantic
Submissive
Depressed(locked)
Betrayed(unadvised)
The default modes Hardheaded and Stubborn make this unit very difficult to persuade when he has his mind set on something. He will have the tendency to jump head first into fights if you are not careful so watch out!
Big Brother mode is activated when your unit sees you upset, depressed, or crying. He will instantly switch into a kind, caring brotherly figure then try to go pummel the person who upset you. This mode is impossible to deactivate, you have been warned.
Romantic mode is activated by pretty much doing things he enjoys and being extremely nice to him for a couple days. He will quickly develop a healthy love life with you and has resulted in very very happy fangirls. To deactivate this mode(why would you do that?) simply ignore all of his romantic approaches and he will return to his default modes.
Submissive mode can be tricky to activate. Loki Laufeyson units are especially good at this. Your unit will become submissive and do whatever you tell him. To deactivate this mode ask him what he wants to do and up his self esteem for a day and he will back to his default modes in a flash.
Depressed mode is also activated by Loki Laufeyson units. If one gets hurt near your unit they will blame your unit and he will begin to feel like a horrible person. In this mode your unit will sulk and refuse to eat. To deactivate this find some magical way to cheer him up, he will then return to his default modes.
Betrayed mode is very dangerous. This unit becomes highly volatile to everything and everyone then begins wrecking things with the fake Mjolnir which was included. Serious injuries have resulted from this. To deactivate this mode you must agree with everything he says even if it's extremely stupid.
Cleaning: This unit is perfectly capable of cleaning himself and probably will not appreciate you jumping in the shower/bath with him.
Feeding: This unit can and will eat anything put in front of him. This unit is not for the faint of heart and/or wallet.
Rest: This unit will sleep whenever he feels it necessary. Caution he snores like, well, thunder.
Relationships with other units:
Jane Foster: these are rare because not many people order them. But Thor units do enjoy their company and these units are the fastest way to remove Thor units from their packaging.
Loki Laufeyson: While Loki hates Thor's guts Thor loves his little brother to pieces. This can be very amusing to watch.
All others are good friends and with enough coaxing can start a relationship other than friendship can be difficult.
Frequently asked questions:
Q. My unit is staring at me and his eye randomly twitches, what is going on?
A. Congrats! You've managed to unlock his hidden Paranoid mode. Best way to fix this is to make no sudden movements and order a new one.
Q. My unit can't pick up his fake Mjolnir. What should I do?
A. Find a Loki Laufeyson unit to force it free of whatever it's stuck to or order a new fake Mjolnir.
Problem shooting:
Problem: Upon opening the box I found a 14 year old blonde boy ready to bust some heads and impress his father.
Solution: Oops! We accidentally sent you a child Thor! Send him back if you want and we'll ship you a fully grown Thor Odinson unit.
Problem: Everytime I talk about my friend Jane my unit starts acting weird. What should I do?
Solution: Bring your friend over and introduce them. Your unit will return to normal afterwards. All units tend to act weird when they hear the name "Jane".
We hope you will enjoy your unit and with proper care and love your unit will love you. Have fun and look forward to more Avengers models from the Skyward Units Company!