Disclaimer: All right, If its here, truly people, you know it isn't mine. The idea is though…So, give Credit to Tolkien where its due, and Credit to Morgenstern and Goldman when necessary. Then everyone is happy.
It is this author's assumption that you all, my lovely readers, have had the good fortune to lay eyes upon J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. Perhaps those of you more brazen have actually gone so far as to read it. But what is more than certain, is that you have all stood in line, purchased a bit of paper, and packed yourself into a crowded theater with the sole purpose of viewing the story on screen.
Therein lies the root of the problem. If one person in passing simply said to another, "What is your favorite part of Lord of the Rings?" The following chipper reply would resemble: "Oh, you know, the final battle scene of Fellowship of the Ring." At this, one would naturally be very surprised, because although this may be a decent chapter, this "battle" was not exactly described in what one would call great detail, and it is nothing compared to the Siege of Gondor or the Battle of Helms Deep. To further discussion, and possibly put my victim on the spot, a cruel interrogator might continue: "Oy, I was reading Two Towers last night, and don't you just love the part where Theoden, and Gimli and everybody goes off to Isengard to tell Sauruman off?" The ensuing blank stare on the addressee's face would cause any normal person to continue, "And oh yes, Shelob's Lair, great chapter don't you think? Isn't it so wonderful that Frodo finally found a use for Galadriel's gift?" By this point, shifting eyes and sweat on your comrade's forehead would indeed indicate that they had not read the copy of LOTR you had lent them five months, three days, and eleven hours ago.
"I tried to like it. But it was so boring!" the friend would whine.
Boring. Boring? BORING? The Passion, Battles, Friendship, Valor, Sacrifice, Liquor. Second Breakfast, for Pippin's sake!
This disinterest in and of it self, is not entirely bad: because this version, popularly published throughout the world, is indeed a fallacy. Oh, yes, much of the Tolkien's facts are correct, Amon Hen did exist, (actually its quite a popular tourist attraction, water front location is quite lucrative) but some discrepancies in plot development are entirely inexcusable. Like this Arwen and Aragorn business. Ha! Its laughable. In fact, I will laugh. Hahahaha. Yet, such is the case when one attempts to put into novel a story that has long since played out on the stage of Middle Earth; so long ago in fact, it faded into myth; myth faded into legend; and you know when it does that, some knuckle head simply has to go and make a song out of it, like the Legend of Billy Jack, or some such. Yes, my friends, Tolkien's sources were not even secondary, they were tertiary! Lord of the Rings had been reduced to nothing more than campfire songs for the Rohirrim.
It is now my duty to relate to you Lord of the Rings, The Good (and True) Parts Version.
(A/N) Please, I mean no Slander to The Great, The Wonderful JRR Tolkien, all I mean to do is make an amusing parallel between the Princess Bride and LOTR. Take no offense. If you do, where is your sense of humor? Please Read and Review, constructive criticisms are helpful. And as you may have guessed, Arwen is most defiantly NOT the Princess Bride. Now, onward!