A/N: Hello! This is my first fic so please be kind :) I'll accept any review: good or bad because that'll make me a better writer :)...The parts in Italic and between this: " are the characters thoughts...the parts in Italic only is usually flashbacks...Enjoy.

As I wonder if she is thinking about me… all I see is my reflection in the glass that separates my bedroom from the balcony… outside is pouring rain, can't see the stars or the moon… I'm bounded to this cage that people call home

I

*sigh*

I tucked in my robe. It was starting to be cold. I was nowhere near to fall asleep because I couldn't stop thinking about her. That sweet and full of life… girl, wait! What am I doing? …a girl? Father would kill me if he finds out what I'm thinking about.

…FLASHBACK…

It's abominable! Getting married? What happened to the sanctity of marriage? Gay people = crazy people

Father made it very clear as he throwed away that section of the newspaper, the papers fell in the coffee table in the middle of the living room. He looked so offended and furious.

"Hypocrite" -I thought to myself. I felt something burning inside me.

"Sanctity of marriage? When you are the one who has a mistress? How dare you? Hypocrite!"

I tried not to show my emotions, saying something like that out loud would make my father angry and it was not ladylike either. A lady knows how to behave even in the worst of the cases. Like my mother. Always quiet, graceful, obedient.

This is the kind of people that makes this world even worst by the minute

Father was sitting in the couch next to the fireplace looking at the business section while mother was serving tea. I was sitting in front of father in my usual chair while reading a book in order to finish my homework. Mother sat next to me, took the newspaper and read the article about homosexual getting married in Europe. I tried to peek from time to time because I didn't want to seem interested in the subject but mother read my body language and moved closer so I could read it too without father finding out.

…END OF FLASHBACK…

"Mother allowed me to read that article. I wonder why. Does she know there's something… different? Different? Stupid Sachiko…go to sleep"

I tried hard but couldn't sleep so I sat on my bed, opened a drawer and saw a small bottle with pills.

*sigh*

"And it all comes to this"

Put two pills in my palm, filled a glass with water, saw trough the glass door again and took the pills. After few minutes the pills caused effect and sent me to sleep.

"Another morning"

Those are my first thoughts every morning after mother's voice wakes me up. I'm used to do my own routine of events in the morning: stand up, take a bath, put the uniform on, go down stairs and try to have breakfast. Listen to father and his stupid ways of resolve problems in the company, he says that if I pay enough attention one day I'll know how to face problems the way he does.

Are you feeling well? –Father asked for the first time in months. This was a surprise for everyone in the dining room.

Yes father -I managed to answer- "What's with him?"

You are not eating -He was looking at my plate.

I'm not hungry -I answered politely- "What do you care?"

She is being like this for over three months -Mother said to father who suddenly looked worried.

"Is this really happening?" -I thought while staring at his worried look.

Call the Dr. I want him here today -Those were her father's last words, he stood up and left the dining room.

Do I have to mother?-I asked- You know how much I hate doctors.

Yes, if your father DID noticed this, it means is something to worry about and I'm not being overprotected

*sigh*

Fine

I stood up and went outside the house. The driver was already waiting for me like he does every morning; I entered inside the car and concentrated in my own thoughts again. It all started with a conversation.

…FLASHBACK…

A princess, that's why he asks you to behave as a lady -I remembered a conversation with mother.

What if I don't want to be a princess? -I asked her politely, didn't want to offend her.

This is your destiny, you can't fight it. You will marry Kashiwagi Suguru and then become a queen

Those were mother's last words before father got inside the house that day.

…END OF FLASHBACK…

Marry him, marry him…I have to marry him, him, from all of the people in this world, the only guy I've ever loved, the one that rejected me that night after the engagement party.

…FLASHBACK…

Why not? We are getting married -I asked after he pushed me.

Because I don't love you that way -He caressed my cheek.

You don't love me that way? -I couldn't believe the words he just spoke.

No, and this is something you have to have clear. I don't love women. I'm in love with a man -He crossed his arms on his chest and looked through the window; he was beautiful with the moon light bathing his shirtless body.

"What?" -I was in shock.

"There's no need to make such a big deal, you choose whoever you love and we can pretend we are happily married, our families doesn't need to know the truth"

…END OF FLASHBACK…

I refused to the idea of lying, but what could I do? There was no way to get out of the engagement, I hated him but at the same time loved him and didn't wanted to hurt him so I decided to do as he said. But now, now I'm in love with somebody else and that idea doesn't seem like a problem to me.

I remember the first time I saw her: it was the day after the night Suguru rejected me. I was sitting behind Maria Sama's statue. I felt like crying so I hid from everybody. An Ogasawara must not cry in front of others because is a sign of weakness. Father taught me this hard lesson.

…FLASHBACK…

If you show the must minimum weakness, people will always feel sorry for you and that will make you powerless. You must never ever show weakness, that's for alone time only

Father had my teary face between his hands. I was only 5 years old and had a big fight with a student that was making fun of me because I ate my sandwich with fork and knife. I didn't know why he was so mean to me, that was the way my mother and father taught me to eat my meals.

You must not cry in front of others and less when's people that wouldn't understand the reason of your sadness

Yes

With my voice all shaking but still gracefully I answered and wiped my tears.

…END OF FLASHBACK…

*sigh*

I was surprised by her who was trying to hide behind the statue as well; she looked horrified when she saw me sitting there. Her face went from being scared, to surprised, to embarrassed, to scared again, but I never saw pity. I wiped my tears, smile as a lady and walked all the way to the yamayurikai.

After that day I kept seen her everywhere I looked. It was not on purpose because she didn't even saw me, not even once so I guessed it was me who kept looking for her and it was true. But why? Maybe the idea of her looking at me crying made me feel awkward, but I must confess that made me feel intrigued.

What is your problem? -Youko asked with her voice completely exasperated.

Mmm? Are you addressing to me? -I saw her staring at me; Sei was in the back at her right and Eriko at her left they were looking at me as well.

Yes, I'm addressing to you, Sachiko -Youko sat in front of me, next to her Sei and next to me Eriko.

Nothing -I preferred to answer with short words, didn't feel like talking.

We know about the engagement -Eriko finally spoke.

What? How? -I calmed myself because I was about to lose my composure.

What do you mean with what and how? I'm your Onee-Sama and didn't even know about this, and could you please care a little bit more and explain yourself?

Youko was starting to attract attention so Sei put her hand on Onee-Sama's shoulder and this calmed her down. The three of them were looking at me expecting an answer; I was only looking at the beautiful young girl that saw me crying.

Oh -Sei laughed

Oh? -Youko asked with her exasperated tone again.

Sei pointed on the little girl's direction- Over there

Eriko rest her chin on her right hand- So, your problems are not because of the engagement

For your information, yes, my problems are because of the engagement, that night I entered Sugar's bedroom and he rejected me

They were speechless.

Happy Onee-Sama? -I lied.

No. I'm not happy but you can't lie to me. That's not the REAL problem -Youko stood up- Whenever you are ready to talk, I'm here, don't forget that -She walked around the table and stood up next to me and caressed my face- I'm always here Sachiko

Onee- Sama -I whispered while I grabbed her wrist.

Yes?

She understood that now I wanted to talk, Eriko and Sei understood that I wanted to talk to her alone.

See you on Monday -Eriko said this and started to walk.

I'll see you later -Sei winked to my Onee-Sama.

How did you find out? -I asked.

Onee-Sama looked frustrated- You don't read newspapers, don't you? It's all over the newspapers. I got home and my mother congratulated me, I asked her why and she showed me the front page of today's newspaper

Father -I whispered.

Why don't you come to my house and sleepover tonight? -Youko knew I needed to get out of the house- It'll be fun.

I will –I said and smiled at her.

We stood up and started to walk together. Silence ruled the entire place. The only silence I was going to have that evening. I had no Idea what was about to happen to me.