Author's Note: Hello! This is my first X-Men fic. I had been working on a Psych story, unable to think of what to write next, when this popped into my head, already mostly formed and so I flipped through my notebook to a blank page and wrote it down. Now, a few hours later, here it is. I hope you enjoy and please feel free to give me some feedback, good or bad, just so long as you tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: No, I don't own the X-Men movies, the characters and quotes from said movies are not of my creation and no money is being made off of this.
Remembrances and Regrets
Erik Lehnsherr, the once mutant terrorist Magneto, stared at his chessboard and sighed. It wasn't the same when you were playing by yourself. He had only ever played with one other person though, and that person was gone now.
He sighed again. That was a train of thought he didn't want to pursue. There was no good that could come of it, of that he was sure; yet unbidden the images and voices flashed through his mind.
"You must trust me. You're a danger to everyone and yourself! But I can help you!"
"I think you want to give her the cure!"
He'd been such a fool. He should have listened. Why hadn't he seen just how unstable that power truly was? Why hadn't he listened?
Another sigh.
He knew why he hadn't listened. He'd seen the future when he had looked at her.
Little Jean Grey, with such devastating power. Power enough to win his war. And it was his war. Freedom for his brothers. For mutants everywhere.
He hadn't believed it couldn't be controlled. Well, he had paid for his stupidity. Paid for it many times over. Paid for it with the only things that had meant anything at all to him.
"You never learn, do you?"
He'd been so stupid.
"Actually, I do."
Pain. Then the terrifying sight of four needles poking out of his chest.
"I'm…"
"One of them?"
He wondered if Wolverine had known at the time just how much those words would haunt him. How often he would dwell on them.
His status as a mutant hadn't been all he had lost of course. Not by a long shot.
"Erik, stop!"
No, no he didn't want to think about this! Wise Charles.
Charles who had known from the start just how unstable the girl's power really was. Known from that very first meeting with her.
"You have more power than you can imagine Jean. The question is, will you control that power… or let it control you?"
Had Charles guessed what that power would one day do to him? Had he known, from the moment he had discovered she was still alive, that disaster would follow?
If he had known he'd given no indication of it. He had set forth into that house with the same calm and determination that had always characterized his actions. And all hell had broken loose.
"I don't believe your mind games are going to work anymore, Charles."
God, he'd been such a fool. Why hadn't he kept his mouth shut? What had he thought would happen when he said those things?
"Look at me, Jean. I can help you. Look at me!"
"No, Charles! Not this time! You've always held her back!"
"Jean, let me in!"
And Charles had been in the air, disintegrating before his very eyes. He remembered the shock and horror he had felt, watching his best friend, the only person he had ever truly cared for beyond all others, be torn apart.
"No, Jean! JEAN!"
He had been pinned there though, powerless to do anything to affect Jean's wrathful power.
"Don't let it control you."
Charles had looked peaceful in that instant and the panic and despair he, Erik, had felt had been immense.
"CHARLES!"
Then his old friend had been gone and he had felt suddenly empty. He had never wanted this. Had never even comprehended that it was possible. Charles had always seemed untouchable. Erik had thought he would always be there. Charles himself had once told him he would. He had been wrong though, and Erik had never imagined a world without him.
"My dear, come with me."
Of course he had still taken Jean. He had blocked himself off from what had happened. It hadn't really been her fault and he had been seduced even then by that awesome and terrible power.
"I would expect you off all people to understand my feelings about the misuse of power."
Ah, but Charles had given him too much credit all those years ago. He hadn't really ever understood. Not really. And even now he wasn't sure that he wouldn't do it all over again if given the chance.
He shuddered. Oh, he had been a fool then and he was still a fool now.
"You're here because I need you."
'You see where I got you Charles? You should never have trusted me. Never.'
Charles had trusted him though. He had trusted him all those years ago and a part of him had trusted him until the day he had died.
Now, sitting by himself at the park and staring at his chessboard he wondered what Charles would think if he could see him now. He wondered if he would forgive him.
'I never meant you any harm, Old Friend.'
He sighed again. That much, he was sure, Charles had known. It had gone both ways. And if they had ever had the same beliefs what a team they would have made, and had made back in those days before they had split. They just hadn't been able to agree, and so they had pushed aside their emotions and each became what they had become. They had still cared though, and they had each understood that. Yes, Erik was sure that Charles had understood.
Erik Lehnsherr sighed once more; he hadn't wanted it to end this way. It wasn't supposed to end this way!
Charles had deserved better. Jean had deserved better.
And now he was just an old man staring at a chessboard. An old man thinking of days past. An old man who missed his friend.
A/N: Hope you liked and don't forget to push the magic little button in the corner and drop me a line! Seriously, I live off reviews. They take so little time on your part and they make my day! Come on... you know you want to...