A White Flower and a Metal Heart

In a tea shop, off a small side street in Republic City, Lin Bei-Fong waited alone. An empty chair sat across from her. The shop had closed hours earlier. Lin's friend Dat, who did not ask any questions, let her use the place. A single lamp rested on her table, next to two cups and a pot of tea. Quiet music played from a radio on the bar. A horn cried a glassy jazz tune. Lin preferred bigger stuff: big band music. There was a great composer who lived in the mountains to the north named Rengaw. Whenever he came down to the city with a new piece, Lin made sure to hear it. There was nothing quite like watching a symphony played for the first time. A radio was no substitute.

Lin tapped her finger expectantly. Sitting in the empty shop, she waited. She'd been there over an hour. The passing cars were her only company. She wore a dark green dress, under a brown tunic. Her hair curled, cut above her shoulders. There was a weightlessness she felt, whenever she wore regular clothes. Her body was used to the burden of her armour. She rubbed the side of her face. The light of the lamp danced before her.

A bell above the door announced the entrance of another. A tall dark figure walked through the front door. The man wore a long black cloak, and a wide rimmed hat. His face covered in shadow. He closed the door behind him, and turned the lock. The lights of passing cars throwing light onto his body. He took off his hat, revealing the lines of his face. His tanned skin muted in the shade. Long black hair tied back into a pony tail. It felt like watching a ghost, or a dream which clung onto the back of her mind throughout the day. His face was more a memory than a reality. Their times together a past, not a present. She missed him.

The man placed a small wooden piece onto the table. A white lotus carved into a circle. Lin grabbed a similar carving from a pocket in her tunic, and placed it next to the other. The man rested his cloak against the chair opposite Lin. He sat down, and poured tea into the two cups.

"The tea's cold," Lin spoke.

"It will have to do," the man said. He brought the cup to his lips, and had a sip. "I'm sorry for being late."

"I'm used to it."

The two of them shared a silence. Lin stared forward; her gaze piercing. The man took another drink of his tea. "Will you not have some of yours?" He asked, motioning his hand towards the other glass he poured.

"No thanks. I hate cold tea."

"Right, I forgot."

Setting his cup back on the table, he continued. "So, tell me about the avatar."

"Why are you here Piandao?" Lin pressed one of her fingers against her temple. Her patience dwindling in the dim light. In a sense, she always believed it'd be different. Some where, deep in her subconscious, she had hope. Whenever they met, she was reminded of the fantasy. Her temper was always short in those moments. The weight of the world pressed against her back.

"Please Lin," Piandao spoke softly. He stared out the window. Watched the cars moving by. As they flowed on the current of the street. Their head lights passing through the room. The single lamp flickered on the table. His eyes averted hers.

"She's capable." Lin began to answer. "A little hot headed. She needs to think through her actions more. There were a number of opportunities her actions lead to unnecessary danger for herself and others. She's reckless. A dangerous quality to have. Still, she was a great help against the equalists. There would have been far more casualties without her. She was versatile. Good at adopting to different situations. Reminded me of Uncle Twinkletoes in that way."

"The recklessness issue is known. We hope it will be solved with age and maturity. I am glad she performed well. This test did not play out how we initially desired. The equalists were not thought to be such a threat. Our intelligence was insufficient. We were supposed to have a larger number in the city when the they made their move. Amon's ability to remove bending was a surprise to all of us. It's unfortunate you were so deeply involved. Still, it seems like the test worked out in the end. The avatar learned valuable lessons concerning her role in the world, and the dangers which are involved. I know this is not your role Lin, but I was hoping you could write a full report. You were involved in an intimate way. It would be greatly help our intelligence."

"Sure Piandao. I can do that for you."

"Good. And Lin," Piandao paused. He brought his cup of tea to his lips. "I'm glad you're okay," he said, drinking the rest of the cup.

"Thanks," she spoke. Her bare feet brushed the ground. The vibrations of the radio pressed notes against her toes. She rubbed her brow. "Is that the reason for your visit to Republic City? Intelligence gathering?"

"Yes. We were caught off guard by the previous events. I want to find out how that happened."

"How romantic of you."

"You know there are responsibilities involved in leading an organization such as the White Lotus. There are people out there who would give anything to either kill or control the avatar. I need to be one step ahead of them. Our information net must not have any holes. I need to ensure there are none."

"Korra's not a young child anymore. She does not need you to be constantly watching out for her."

"Even an adult needs help."
"Are you helping her? Is she even aware of what you're doing?" Lin asked.

"She has a rough idea. The danger is in the details. My actions need to be secret. The efficiency of our network is the individual pieces moving unaware of the others. Otherwise there would be a grand conspiracy. People would be afraid of giving information as liberally. Our agents would be unable to subvert detection. We deal with knowledge. Nothing's more frightening than knowledge concentrated in one place."

"And that excuses all your secrecy? All of your subterfuge. You've told me the same explanation a hundred times. I'm not sure I believe it anymore."

"Is something wrong Lin?"

Lin pressed her hand to her temple. The light from the lamp flickered orange over her face. "I'm tired Piandao. And, I'm getting old. You've been gone for over a year. The only correspondence I've had with you has been to set up this meeting. And you expect me to accept all the secrets you keep from me? All of the silence? I'm tired. I'm tired of this game you keep playing. You're secrets, and your half truths. Before, when I was police chief, I just filled my time with work. I made my job my life, like you did. But now that I'm no longer on the force, I..."

"Lin," Piandao spoke.

"I've been spending a lot of time with Tenzin. Taken control of security on Air Temple Island. And it's tough. Everyday I see Tenzin and Pema. Their family, and," A sharp cry from one of the horns shook her foot. The vibrations crawled through her body. The radio continued to play. "Forget it."

"How is my cousin?" Piandao asked.

"He's well. He was pretty shaken up after the equalist affair. With Rohan, and training Korra, he's been stretched thin. That's why I'm helping out on Air Temple Island. Thought they could use my help. Plus, I need something to fill my time. Idleness does not suit me."

"A feature we both share."

"Are you going to visit him? He would love to see you. He hasn't said anything to me, he knows not to bring it up, but I know Tenzin. He'd love to show you Rohan. The whole family would like it. They miss you. Everyone misses you."

"I can't. You know Tenzin. He likes to stick his fingers into everything. If he had it his way, he'd be an air bending master, councilman, and leader of the white lotus. It's better for him not to concern himself with the rest of our affairs. He should be focused on training Korra." Piandao stood from his seat, and moved over to the bar. He brushed his hands over top of the empty tables as he approached it. "The rest of his family doesn't care about my presence. Pema and I never got along. I doubt their kids even remember me."

"That's not true," Lin spoke. "Jinora does. She has a great memory, and an encyclopedic mind. She's confused though. I don't think she understands why she never sees you, and why we never mention you. You're a part of their family who everyone pretends does not exist. It's hard for a ten year old to understand. Especially when no one tells her anything."

"Is there any alcohol in here?" Piandao asked, referring to the bar. He was crouched down, shifting through the cupboards. The radio playing beside him. He was hiding. Piandao always hid. His whole life, he deflected: from conversations he wanted to avoid, from difficult truths, from the pains he caused.

"Dat keeps some under the bar." Lin and Dat shared a drink on warm nights during the summer. Dat, a former police officer, loved to entertain fellow police after the shop was closed. In his youth, Dat fought against the Fire Nation occupation. Now, an old man, Dat loved his tea and every guest who walked into his shop.

Piandao kept his head behind the bar. Bottles clinked together as he moved his hands through them. Lin continued to speak: "I think you would like Jinora. She's smart, and has a great head for details. Reminds me of you at times. She's always reading, rain or shine. At night you can find her nose in a book, sitting on the roof of the Air Temple. Reminds me of those summers we spent at the Firelord's summer home. Little quiet Piandao loved to find somewhere solitary to read while the rest of us enjoyed the beach."

"It's not like you and Tenzin let me spend time with you anyway. A curse of being the youngest. I had no one to spend time with. Books were the only ones will to keep me company."

"You weren't that much younger than us. We let you join us regularly."

"I guess. Still, you and Tenzin always liked doing things by yourselves. Going on those evening walks and sneaking off to the theatre to watch plays. I was rarely invited."

"I forgot about those plays. You know, it always confused me how such a small village had such an amazing theatre company. One of the last summers I was there, I talked to the owner. He told me the Firelord, Uncle Twinkletoes, Katara, your father, and my mother gave them a generous donation every year. They were one of the richest companies in the Fire Nation because of it! And my mother used to complain every time we snuck off for a performance. I don't think I ever saw one of those five go to a single show."

"That group had a number of idiosyncrasies." Piandao muttered under the bar. "Found it!" He announced, placed a blue bottle on the counter. A horn singing a airy tune on the radio. Piandao turned the small nob; the volume increased. "I've been listening a lot to this new jazz stuff on the radio. It really cuts into me. Whenever I'm in one of the cities, I try to give it a listen."

"I'm more of a," Lin started to say, before she was cut off by Piandao.

"Big band fan. I know Lin. I haven't forgotten everything about you. Has Rengaw written any masterpieces lately?"

"No. He's been quiet since the start of the conflict. He may be a musical genius, but he's also timid. I expect he'll come down from the mountains with another symphony once everything calms down in Republic City."

Piandao moved from behind the bar, carrying the blue bottle and two clear glasses. Cars threw their headlights on his body as they drove by the window. Piandao retook his seat and filled the glasses with the clear alcohol. "If you will not join me for tea, will you at least join me for a drink?"

Lin grabbed the glass. The light from the lamp flickered on the surface. Piandao raised his glass, and she pushed hers out to meet it. A small clank rang out when the glasses met. They brought the glasses to their lips and had a drink. "You have any other plans for tonight?" she asked.

"No. I wanted to spend tonight with you. The other contacts can wait a day," he said with a smile.

Taking another sip, Lin said "Good. Is it really necessary for you to talk with the contacts? Can't you receive their reports through correspondence."

"This incident requires more thorough examination. The equalists were thought to be mostly harmless. A good way to introduce the avatar to some of the broader political realities of the world. This picture of was inaccurate. We were caught off guard by how dangerous they really were. I want to know why. Our intelligence should have been sufficient." He took another sip. "We could have lost everything. We could have lost the avatar, the last airbenders. I could have, I could have lost you." He threw back more of his drink, nearly emptying his glass. "And I fear. I fear it was my fault. I may have let my personal feelings overshadow our data. That's why I need to be thorough. I have to know. I have to know if I failed my duties."

"I don't understand Piandao," Lin said. He was never this forward. Piandao lived in secrets. Why was he telling her this? How could his personal feelings be involved?

"I knew Amon once. We were friends even."

"What?"

"Nearly twenty years ago, back when I used to work for the University. You remember my trip to the Northern Fire Nation? When those islands were considering independence from the Nation. I spent two years there acting as a consult on alternative modes of government they could adopt. Trying to convince General Mamzer to form a Republic instead of a dictatorship."

"I remember."

"Well, Amon was a member of Mamzer's advisers. He was young, but there was something compelling about him. There was a charm in the way he spoke. He went by Aecus back then. Mamzer did not trust him, but he thought it was better to have Aecus on his side.

"Aecus was the adviser who payed me the most attention. We were closer in age than the others. The older men did not like the idea of a kid telling them what to do. They were stubborn, which is why everything turned so sour by the end of it.

"Aecus wanted to learn about Republic City. I hoped it was an interest in the other form of governance, so I obliged. We often disagreed, but there was a common ground. We both had an interest in equality; equality should be the fundamental basis on which a government is built. Including equality between benders and non-benders. Unfortunately, we did not understand equality in the same way though. I suggested a republic under which all people, benders and non-benders, had the same political power. They could elect their representatives, and be governed based on their collective will. Aecus wanted bending to be made illegal, and so that the government would ensure that the benders did not use their bending for their benefit. I suggested the development of technology to level the playing field, without the need to make bending illegal; Aecus liked the idea, but was insistent the world would be better without benders.

"For those two years, trying to convince Mamzer not to seize power, Aecus and I spent our nights together. We'd drink, debate politics, and I'd tell him about Republic City. When Mamzer purged his advisers, I escaped thanks to Aecus's help. We were among the lucky ones; few made it out. As we parted ways, Aecus told me action was the only way to change. Consultation had not stopped Mamzer. With those words in mind, I returned to the Ba Singe Se, quit the University, and took a leadership role in the White Lotus. I was done with talking; I wanted to do.

"Over the years, I kept tabs on Aecus. I watched as he changed his name to Niemand, and then to Amon. His influence grew, and his group of followers started to increase. Still, there was always something holding him back. To me, he was an idealist, pretending to be revolutionary. He had the ideas, but he never followed through on his actions. When I learned he moved into Republic City, I thought he would be a good test for Korra. In the Southern Tribe, she was shielded from the parts of the world which feared, hated, or wanted to control her. Amon's revolution seemed like a good way to introduce her to those cruel realities. But, I was careless, and I almost lost everything because of that." He finished his glass, and poured another from the blue bottle. The soft horn cried a high note.

"It's not your fault Piandao." Lin spoke, resting her hand on his. "You might try, but you can't know everything."

"I know, but if I'd just been," he started to say, but Lin cut him off.

"You can't live in 'what ifs'."

"That doesn't mean I can't improve. I can be better. I must be better." He paused. The street was silent. Lin could feel the music with her feet. The wailing notes moving through her. "Lin, I'm a mess. Like a real mess. I don't know why I just told you all of that. I've never told anyone about that. Since I intercepted Tenzin's cable, I've been out of sorts. I was afraid: so very fucking afraid. I was terrified that I failed. My whole life has been dedicated to protecting the avatar, yet I nearly sent Korra to her death. And I was scared, really scared, ... that I'd never see you again. Even more than Korra, that shook me. And I haven't been well since.

"Piandao, you can't blame yourself. Sure, you were wrong. The equalists were more of a threat than any of us imagined. But Korra beat them. She passed the test. Maybe it's time you trusted her. She can take care of herself. Nothing you plan will ever be perfect. You know that. You've worked so hard these past few years, maybe it's time you took a break. Maybe it's time you focused on yourself. On us."

"Lin," Piandao spoke.

"It's been tough. Every day I see Tenzin. We share smiles, and pleasantries, but it's tearing me apart. I think about how wonderful it would have been if Tenzin and I worked out. I have these dreams, and I'm pregnant, and Tenzin and I are in my bed, and he lightly touches me on my ankle, and I love him so deeply in those moments. But I don't love him. I don't. I love you. The bastard cheated on me with a girl who was barely twenty years old after we'd been together for over ten years. It should be you in those dreams, but you're so distant. Your face is like an old memory I can no longer recall. I can't live like this. I don't want to live like this.

"When the avatar first came to Republic City, I wanted her gone. Every time I looked at her, I did not see the avatar. I saw you. I saw the person you chose instead of me. The avatar was more important. She's the reason we never had kids. She's the reason you keep disappearing. The reason I keep forgetting your face. She spoke with such confidence. It was funny, she thought she was disobeying the white lotus. It was cute, if a little naive. I knew you were behind everything. You always are." Lin drank the rest of her glass, and poured another cup. "I hated her. I hated her with every part of me. Some member of the white lotus, eh?"

"Lin, I'm sorry."

"I know you're sorry. You're always sorry. I'm tired of you being sorry. I'm tired of words. I am at the end of my patience. You need to do something. I want to be a couple. I want to own a summer home in the Fire Nation. You'll be invited every time I sneak off to watch a play. You won't need your books to keep you company. We can spend time on the beach. We can listen to Rengaw. We can listen to jazz on the radio. We can be together."

Piandao took another sip of his drink. "You'd be bored in a day. The city runs in your blood."

"Maybe. I sure have been feeling like a vacation these past couple of weeks. It would be good to escape, everything."

"Do you think we really have a shot?" He breathed deeply. The room was filled with light for a moment. A passing car covered the whole tea shop with its head lights. In the fleeting instant, Lin felt like she could see him. He was free from the shadows which held onto him. The boy she had fallen in love with. The white flower able to puncture her metal heart.

"Maybe."

The soft horn cried.

...

...

Author's Notes:

It's been three years since I last wrote an Avatar fic. I hope you liked it.

Please Leave a Review.

Thanks. BJ.