Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia or any of the characters related to the franchise. This fanfiction is made for the purpose of entertainment only. No profits, broke as hell, blah blah blah...
I wrote something! Even better? I'm not afraid to show it here! Woo.
Okay, before you read on, a quick forewarning. When I say post-game I mean a couple months to a year after the conclusion of the first game. (I'm ignoring the sequel in its entirety. I'm saner this way.) One of the reasons I enjoy writing Zelos/Lloyd is 'cause I see Lloyd compelling Zelos to gradually drop the act and just be himself. My view of Zelos's actual self might differ from yours. Heck, it differs in continuities. (Manga Zelos vs Game Zelos, WHO'S MORE EMO?!) That said, you might disagree with his characterization here. That's cool with me—we're all entitled to our own interpretations. Just don't leave me a flame complaining about how Zelos was not like that in-game, as, uh, his development is sort of the point. Which you would be missing if you left me a flame like that.
In fact, flames in general are bad. Let's not write them at all.
As always, feel free to provide constructive criticism. Tell me what you like, tell me what you don't like. All that sort of stuff helps me become a better writer.
It all happened in a split second. One moment they were resting comfortably against each other, and then before Zelos even realized what he was doing, the question had rolled off his tongue, "Why do you love me?"
Lloyd stared at him intently, his boyish face expressing confusion. "You wanna know why?"
The kid's confusion was valid; it was a crazy question to ask. Sure, Zelos might get some validation out of it, but at the same time he was risking major disappointment. That was half of the reason he'd regretted saying it; the other half had to do with guilt. He knew it sucked to be put on the spot like this.
None of this was enough to keep him from repeating himself. He wanted to know. He needed to know. "Why do you love me?"
"I..." It was clear from Lloyd's expression that the question weighed heavily on him. It was morbidly amusing how the topic of love could turn Lloyd Irving, king of motivational speeches, into a stuttering, uncertain fool. Still, true to form, he showed no immediate sign of backing down.
Zelos was content to give him all the time he needed to compile a response. After all, it was a hard task, right? He didn't have too many lovable qualities outside of his title and physique, and neither of those really appealed to Lloyd. (Well, at least not most of the time, anyway.) In fact, having thought about it, he decided he wouldn't be surprised at all if he couldn't come up with anything. Better yet, that's exactly what he expected. It was going to be silence, a dismissal of the topic, or something else similarly awkward.
"You're just... really amazing," Lloyd spoke abruptly.
It figured he'd misjudge him. Why'd he have to be so different, anyway? It wasn't fair. Zelos liked predictability. He thrived when things were predictable. He knew how to play his cards right then. Now, well, he could barely meet Lloyd's eyes, never mind form a perfect response. All he could do was try to pull on his slipping mask, "It's good to hear you finally admit it."
Lloyd sighed that exasperated sigh, the one he saved just for Zelos's majorly idiotic moments. "Knock it off. I'm being serious. Isn't that what you want?" For a moment, it seemed like he was waiting for a response. Not that Zelos was actually going to respond. After a while the boy continued onward, "I mean it, Zelos. You amaze me every day."
It was obvious that Lloyd was speaking sincerely. Heck, Zelos couldn't even remember a time he'd been insincere. Still, he struggled to fight away his self-contempt long enough to accept Lloyd's answer. Which... that was pretty bad, wasn't it? He'd asked for a reason why and he'd gotten it. Now that he had, he was practically rejecting it. How on earth was that fair?
Zelos struggled a moment longer before managing out a quiet, "Thanks, hunny." That was about all he could offer.
"I'm not done," came Lloyd's response. He folded his arms across his chest, taking on the standard stubborn-ass bumpkin pose. Apparently he'd already adjusted to Zelos's serious mood. "I know a lot of people struggle to get past your idiotic tendencies, but, y'know, there's a lot more to you and I can see it. You're a really good person."
He wasn't going to say it aloud, but Zelos couldn't help but think this was Lloyd's standard encouragement fare. Yup, Zelos was a nice guy, alright. He'd stepped on the poor and unfortunate, used women, double-betrayed his only friends, forced his sister into a lifetime of incarceration, caused the death of his own mother... yeah, he'd done a hell of a lot of good. Yet somehow Lloyd always managed to come up with some sunshine and flowers perspective. His optimism was really frustrating sometimes.
Zelos thought it best to cut him off there, "You're too much, Lloyd. I don't think I can take anymore praise." His insincerity was blindingly obvious. He figured the boy would quickly read into his displeasure and end the discussion right there.
"Just shut up and listen for a while, okay?" Lloyd's reply was firm, but he didn't seem at all irritated. If anything, he appeared almost... disappointed. "Really listen. I mean it."
Zelos released a small sigh. What'd he have to lose, anyway? Slowly, he nodded his head in a show of his compliance.
"I know you don't have a high opinion of yourself. I've kinda figured that out over time." No matter how many times Lloyd said something intuitive, Zelos would always be a little scared. He didn't like to be read so easily—it made things far too complicated. "It makes sense that just saying general stuff wouldn't cut it. You... you wanna know everything about it, right? I'll do my best to tell you."
Lloyd took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Suddenly, his right hand collided with his chest in a resounding 'thump'. "I can't... think about you without feeling something. Sometimes I feel really warm and comfortable here, but other times... it feels like my heart's trying to turn over inside of me. It hurt like that those times you left. I started to figure it out then.
"You can say whatever you want to about this. I'm only telling the truth," he began, stating the forewarning firmly. "I know you. And I know that nearly everything you do is done to make someone else happy. There are times you're a selfish idiot, sure, but more often than not you're working your ass off so that everyone's okay. Like in battle," Lloyd paused and opened his eyes to level a stare at Zelos. "You do more than your part. You've risked your own health to save everyone else."
"That's normal. I have to take care of my teammates," Zelos replied simply.
"You do, but a selfish Chosen who only cares about himself doesn't," countered his friend. He felt the sting. "If you were really such a horrible person, you wouldn't do that. You wouldn't risk your life..." It was clear what Lloyd was thinking about when he said this. Zelos could see the pain glaze over his eyes. "If you didn't care about us. You do care, Zelos. I know it. I've always known."
The Chosen laughed softly. "How deeply does it run, though? Deep enough to trust it'd be steady?"
"What d'you mean?"
He directed his gaze to the ground, momentarily avoiding the question. It was a little crazy. Well, maybe a lot crazy, but... they were being honest, weren't they? (And it wasn't like Lloyd wasn't used to his craziness by now.) "What if I... stop caring?" Again, Zelos laughed. "Stranger things have happened."
Lloyd wasted no time in responding. He shook his head vehemently. "I trust you, remember? I know who you are and you're not the type to give up the ghost that easily. Besides..." The boy's brows furrowed as he considered his words. "The only reason you think that'd happen is because other people let you down, right?"
"It's hard to care when no one else gives a damn," Zelos admitted.
Lloyd's expression softened as he spoke, his smile full and his eyes warm. "Well, it's not like that now. I care about you. I'm always going to care about you."
Suddenly, Zelos felt his mouth grow dry. He swallowed, but his emotions had built up into a sharp pain in his esophagus. Lloyd's words were so... brutally honest, so real. He wanted to believe him. He needed to believe him. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Silence filtered into their conversation. Zelos took advantage of the moment and worked to compose himself. (It was ridiculous that Lloyd could tear him up so badly, but, hey... that was part of what he liked about him, right? He made him feel.) Afterward, the silence continued onward, and Zelos assumed their conversation had come to a close.
"I love every part of you, Zel," Lloyd spoke suddenly, shattering their silence. Zelos was glad to be wrong for once. "Even the really messed up parts. I don't fully know why, but... sometimes that's how it works, right? You just know you're meant to be with someone. You feel right with them. There's a word for it...."
"Soulmates," Zelos responded quietly.
"That's it. Soulmates," Lloyd agreed.
Quiet encompassed them once more, only this time it was much more comfortable. After a moment, Zelos leaned in toward Lloyd and tucked himself within the boy's arms. He was glad he'd asked. Lloyd Irving did not disappoint.