Once upon a time, in a Reb Lobster restaurant, Shadow the Hedgehog was taking his girlfriend, Bernie Sanders on a date. They were having a lovely time, and we're enjoying their meals just as much as they were enjoying each other's company.

"Bernie, there's been something I've been meaning to ask you for a long time now." Shadow said to Bernie.

"Well, what is it?" Bernie replied, blushing a red deeper than the blood of the 99%.

"We've been together for almost five years now... And... Well..." Shadow mumbled.

Shadow was planning to propose to Bernie, but had difficulty getting it out. He loved Bernie, and Bernie loved him also. "Why must it be so hard to confess my love?!" Shadow thought angrily, as he clenched his fist into a fist.

"Bernie..."

Shadow kneeled down in front of him. Everyone in the restaurant turned twords them, to see the big moment. Shadow pulled out a velvet box out of his pocket, and put it on to the palm of his hand. Bernie was almost crying of happiness in his seat. Shadow opened the box to reveal a gold fidget spinner.

"Bernie... Will you marry me?" Shadow asked, blushing a red more powerful than the 1%.

"Yes of course!" Bernie squealed. "I love you Shadow!"

Shadow got up and french kissed Bernie. They kept it up for several hours, until they were asked to leave by an employee.

The next day was their wedding. Bernie's guest seats consisted of the entire U.S. Democratic Party. Shadow's guests seats consisted of his really cool swords and guns.

*AN: F-k you Carol. Shadow's guns are cool and if you tell me other wise again I will summon Shadow and he will kill you to death!*

The pastor said, "Shadow, do you promise to protect the Chaos Emeralds and always vote Democrat?" Shadow passionately replied, "I Do." The pastor continued, "Bernie, do you promise to break the big banks and to reform America?" Bernie replied, "Most certainly."

The pastor ended the ceremony, saying "Shadow the Hedgehog and Bernie Sanders, I now pronounce you Hedgehog and Wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Shadow picked Bernie off his feet and held him in his arms. "Watch out for the wedding gown, it's just a rental!" Bernie said to Shadow. "Eh, I can pay for it" Shadow cooly replied as he pulled a really bada- machine gun out of his pocket and shot the gown (Not Bernie, he's safe!) And then to pay for the rental, thew money at the holes in the gown.

Shadow looked into his eyes and french kissed Bernie. They kept it up for several hours, until they were asked to leave by a preist.

Then they got into Shadow's really cool car, that had wheels and drove off into the sunset.

As Shadow was driving, his senses we're going off the charts.
Shadow said "Something's wrong..." This scared Bernie because Shadow is really cool and always right. "W-What is it Shadow-Senpai?" Shadow didn't reply, because he was sniffing deeper and also paying attention to the road because its unsafe always bucke your seatbelts pls my dad died in a car accident he didn't have his seatbelt on and it emotionally scarred me and our family is poor now because my mom can't find a job because she had a drug addiction and my peers outcasted me because of my financial status and because of my mental issues that my mom can't afford to get treated and I get panic attacks whenever I get into a car I have to walk to school and it's a two hour walk with no sidewalks please like my fanfiction it's my only escape because we can't afford good internet so writing text files is all I can do please like my fanfiction I really tried hard to write it please like it please like it please like it

Shadow then exclaimed "Our car is wiretapped!" He said as he safely parked his car onto the curb of the road and got out and turned off the engine and then SHOT THE CAR AND BLEW IT IT UP COOLY AND IT EXPLODED BIG

and shadow walked away from it but not looking twords it because it's cool and not knowing if debris is shooting at you at over a hundred kilometers an hour is cooler becUse he can die, but he is confident so the debris is scared of him because he's cool.

You aren't even reading this far, are you?

"Shadow!" Bernie exclaimed. "Who could have wiretapped us?"
Shadow cooly looked down, and clenched his fist into a hand and said cooly "Donald J. Trump" edcpet not cooly because he's a meanie "Damn that Trump!" Benrie shouted. "How can we stop him?" Shadow thought for a moment, and then said

"We need to call the Avengers"

Shadow pulled out his iPhone 6s (fuck Android that's for nerds lol) and speedialed captain America

"Captain, we need to defeat Trump"

Captain America replied "I knew this day would come. I'll beam you into the avengers cave right now!"

After he said that, Shadow and Bernie Sanders we're surrounded by a light, and then poofed.

They unpoofed into the avengers cave, Bernie swealed, because he's always wanted to meet the avengers.

"They're all here!" Bernie exclaimed. "Iorn man, captain America, the hulk, Thor, and the flash!"

"Nice to meet you Ol' Bern" captain American said to Bernie. "I'm a hufge fan." Bernie said he felt the same. But like Bernie as a fan of captain America not himself lol

Suddenly, the flash came!

In his hands was Donald Trump! The avengers ganged around him, and beat him intensely and cooly. Once hey finished him, they threw him into an fire.

"Fhew that was hard better get some sleep boys" said flash man

"I agree" said everyone

In bed, they all shared a bed because caves are small and there's not room they need to move but I need them to be in a cave for the plot to make sence

Shadow was asleeping, and Bernie work him. Bernie was snoring, and laid over and started hugging iorn man. This made shadow jelous, and even though he's really cool he is actually emotion deep inside, but not expresing them just cool though

Except for expresing one emotion that Shadow currently was:::

ANGERY!

shadow pulled a sword out of his pocket and syarted shooting iorn man with it:
"aAaaaaaaaa" he passionately and cooly screamed.

When he was done iorm man was dead

When the morning came, everyone was sad he was diead.

"What a tragedy, that our friend, our ally, and our most beloved has passed in such a grotesque manner. If there is an afterlife, I wish that he is enjoying his time." Said hulk

Bernie knew that Shadow killled iron Man and they knew they needed to escape before they knew

Suddenyl, trump came!

"Gasp" said everyone

"How is that possible?" Said flahsinf

haha" said Trump

The trump that you beat off into the fire was a robot!"

I am "going to kill all of you"!

It seemed hopeless, by then suddenly Trump was on fire!

When he tripped on the fire to they say who did it...

Suddenly, Mario came!

Mario said "don't worry I killed Trump you can thank me later get in the van"

So shadow killed Mario and took the van he grabbed Bernie and threw him into the van as well but it wasn't a rapey way like a protect way you know what I mean

So shadow drove away!

"Bernie, are you safe?" Shadow asked

"Yes,I am" Bernie replied

Bernie was still wearing his gown, though it was a bit ruined at that point.

Shadow notised that Bernie was mildly shook, so he knew exactly what to do to calm him down.

He pulled a Bible out of his pocket, and shot it. The paper was like confetti, and shadow grabbed one peice and grabbed it. He put on his reading glasses to read Bernie the verse.

1 Thessalonians 5:18
'In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.'

Shadow put off his reading glasses cooly and looked at Bernie who fell asleep in his gown.

Shadow cool chickled, and knew for now everything was gonna be okay.

Suddenly, Steve from Minecraft came!

Steve placed Tnt in front of them, and the van exploded.

But Shadow cooly shaved Bernie, and saved him!

Shadow pulled a handgun out of his pocket, and shotted Steve.

But Steve had diamond armor and didn't die!

So shadow piixked up the burning van and threw it at Steve. This killed steve! They needed a ride, so shadow cooly saw a taxi and got into it. Then he pulled a chainsaw out of his pocket and shot the driver. He stole the car and blew up his corspe. Bernie got in and they drive away.

They got home safely, to their kids. Their names were Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, and they were adopted cooly. Hillary and Barack we're playing call of duty on the TV. Barack was quick scoping noobs when shadow walked he saw it he chucked cooly;"that's my boy"

Then shadow and Bernie went into their rooms, and shadow changed into pajamas and Bernie got out of hsi gown. They were going to sleep. But them...

Hillary Clinton came! She announced she was going to run for president just like Daddy was. Bernie was fuming. Shadkw, did the reasonable thing sny father would do and punish her. He pulled a belt out of his pocket and shot her. "Heh. Nothing " he cooly said to her corpse and then the corpse exploded. Then they finally got to sleep.