Well, this is nice. My very first fan fiction. I only got a grade 8 education on writing and stuff so I really hope you guys won't form a mob and chase after me with pitchforks. That'll be such a cool situation… for you… not me… read on.

Chapter One: The Assignment

Five years after Imhotep is defeated, yet again, the O'conell family's life is dead boring. Now that Alex is thirteen years old, life is a living hell. His mother won't keep her eyes off of him for fear that he might get kidnapped by "the creature". Very unlikely but better safe than sorry. Alex is kept home from extracurricular activities like baseball. In school, the girls tease him for having a very protective family but they love him. Every girl in the grade absolutely adores him. He's hot, tall, nice muscles but not too scary looking and he's blonde!

Afterlife for Imhotep wasn't so great either. I mean, who wants to be stuck in the afterlife with nothing. When he died, he jumped off that ledge with no funeral of any kind. He's now stuck doing Osiris and Isis' chores and Anubis picks on him for losing his powers yet again and commiting suicide.

"You are pathetic, you know that?" Anubis once said. "You let that little blonde kid take my bracelet and you can't even get it back. Tsk tsk.."

Of course, that wasn't Imhotep's fault, it's merely because Anubis was being a stupid bully and making him look like a stupid idiot in front of Anck-su-namun.

"Leave me alone, okay?" Alex O'conell said coldly. "I'm capable of taking care of myself."

Another fight with Evelyn, his mother. Quite common nowadays in the O'connell house. Rick O'connell just backed off the moment his son said that. He's seen enough fights between his wife and Alex to know what's coming next.

Just back off real slow, they won't even know I'm gone… Rick though. …I hope

"Rick! Get your frickin' butt back here and talk some sense into your son or I'll talk some sense into you." Evy said, without turning around and emphasizing on "talk" and "you". Obviously, it's gonna be really bad for Rick if he run off now.

"Dammit!" Rick muttered.

"Leave Dad outta this, okay? Besides he already told me that I can go to that party." Alex yelled. "Oops, sorry dad"

Hearing what Alex just said, Evy whipped her head around to face her husband. "What?"

"He said that – "

"You know what I mean, Rick O'connell!"

"Ooooh, so th-that was a rhetorical question… I s-see." Rick stuttered. Uh oh…

"Alex, go to your room and DON'T come out. And you, go to the kitchen, make tea for two and take it to the living room. Wait for me…" Evy said dangerously point at Alex and Rick respectively. "Now!"

Imhotep walked around the Underworld, bumping into lots of falling just-dead Americans who just arrived at the underworld.

Stupid idiots. Ha! Thinking that our ancient religion is bogey mixed with resin. That'll show them. He thought as he kicked a few unconcious dead people. Ew, stupid dead guy got gum on my feet.

"Imhotep, come to the control center of the Underworld. Osiris and Anubis needs a word with you." A high female voice said. "Again, Imhotep, come to the control centerof the Underworld. Thank you"

"Stupid Osiris, stupid Anubis, power crazy freaks…" Imhotep muttered as he walked into the control center.

"I heard that you bumbling idiot of an ex-priest of Osiris!" a voice boomed.

"Yeah, don't be so hippocritical." Another voiced boomed.

"Geez, sorry." Imhotep said sarcastically. "My humble apologies."

"That's better" Osiris said, pleased.

Apparently, they don't get sarcasm. Ha, good thing I picked up a few lines from that American, Rick, guy… person…whatever.

"We called you here to tell you that we want to send you into the mortal realm to mess with the mortals again. It's cool watching them go 'aaah, dung beetles! Mommy!' and run around in circles.

"We unfortunately, don't have computers or televisions here, so we'll have to watch them instead." Anubis said.

"And also the O'connells, ew! Man, that Evy woman is hot but that Rick guy makes my blood boil over… that is if I ever had any. So, I want you to kill that Rick person and bring me that lady." Osiris said.

"But doesn't that mean that Rick will come to the underworld and I'll have to kill Nefertiri – I mean Evy – as well?" Imhotep stated. "Then basically, they'll be together again in the underword and you'll be cheatin on Isis."

"Cheating on who?" the same female voice that called Imhotep to the control center said. "Am I missing out on something here?"

"No, Isis, my precious darling girl, no… just leave the men to talk." Osiris said, obviously scared that Isis might not like the idea that he's gonna have a concubine that isn't a deity of any form.

"Fine"

Isis walked off swaying her hips more than usual as Osiris just drooled looking at it.

So, um , what y'all think? Please review and maybe drop some ideas onto me for next chapter.

- Mz Lin aka Selena Lin