A/N: I have no idea where this idea came from. I think I was just thinking about "One of My Lies" by Green Day and Elyssa popped into my head. You know, the little girl from Runaway Elf? Yeah, her. I decided to write about her since she basically questions the existence of Heaven and Hell and God... and stuff like that. In this fic, she's at least 14 now. Hope you guys like it.
DISCLAIMER: Do I look like WVD? No I don't. Therefore I don't own anything from Sammy Keyes. And as much as I wish I were in Green Day, I'm not so I don't own the song either. They do.
When I was younger I thought the world circled around me
But in time I realized I was wrong
My immortal thoughts turned into just dreams of a dead future
It was a tragic case of my reality
I remember when I was five and my dad was still here. Everyday when he came home he'd ask, "Where's my little girl?"
I would come running and jump into his arms with a smile. "Daddy! You're home!"
He would laugh and kiss the top of my head and say, "Hi there Lyssie." Then he would carry me to wherever my mom was to give her a kiss before going to check that my twin brothers didn't burn the house down. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world because I had the best dad ever. I thought he would always be there.
I was sadly mistaken. He died when I was six- he got shot on the job at point blank. He died almost instantly.
Do you think you're indestructible
And no one can touch you
Well I think you're disposable
And it's time you knew the truth...
I'll never forget what one of my brothers said the day Officer Borsche came to break the news to my family. When I heard that news that something happened to my daddy, I didn't understand at first. I thought he was still going to come home that day, just like any other day, and everything would go back to normal. But if that was going to happen, then why was my mom crying? And why was my brother staring at the wall, unmoving? And why was my other brother glaring at the floor? I asked, "What's going on? What happened to daddy? He's coming home, right?" No one answered me. "Right?" I was getting scared.
Finally, my brother- the one glaring at the floor- looked up at me. "He's dead Lyssie. Do you understand that? He's never coming back!" He screamed the last sentence and then broke down on the couch, sobbing.
I was really scared now and started crying myself. My mom picked me up and carried me to my room where she sat down on my bed with me on her lap. She tried her best to explain 'death' to me without scaring me more.
All I really understood was that my daddy was never coming home again.
Cause it's just one of my lies!
Well, its just its just one of my lies
And all I wanted to was get real high
Well, its just its just one of my lies
Now that I'm older, I realized that it was stupid to think he'd be here forever. Everyone died eventually. It was just a stupid, stupid lie I told myself to avoid dealing with the inevitable, my father's death. Why was it so hard to except back then? Was it my age? Was it the fact that I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral? I don't know.
Why does my life have to be so small?
Yet death is forever
And does forever have a life to call its own?
Don't give me an answer cause you
Only know as much as I know
Unless you're been there once
Well I hardly think so
Where do people go after they die? Everyone always tells me that they go to Heaven. But is there even really a Heaven? Or a Hell? Or even a God? I don't know what to believe anymore. Ever since Mrs. Graybill died that day at the nursing home and hearing Sammy's reaction, I've been confused. I got so many different answers! Why can't people just stick to one damn lie? Hudson told me there's a Heaven. My teacher told me there's angels in Heaven. Shane told me there are no angels or Heaven! Then Sammy told me, no screamed at me, that there's no Heaven and then changes her mind about it later! I just want the truth. I don't wanna hear your stupid lies!
I used to pray all night
Before I lay myself down
My mother said it was right
Her mother said it too...
Why?
When I was younger I used to pray before going to bed. I don't know why. That's just what my mom told me to do after my dad died. Why after he died? I don't know. All I know is that I did what she told me... until I stopped believing the lies of a Heaven and Hell and God that everyone told me. If God really loved everyone, or even existed at all, he would have never taken my daddy away from me! I hate Him! I hate everyone who's ever told me those damn lies! I can't stand it!
Why can't they all just tell me the truth?