This is a short and bizarre ditty I wrote in school out of boredom. As you know, school messes my brain up, so this is also messed.
This isn't slash peoples. Just because Snape talks to someone doesn't mean anything [it's rather pathetic I even have to put that, but otherwise...]
It's a Snape fic. Dedicated to Lauren [fang and some other pen name] because he's her favorite character.
The Maze in the Mirror
By PikaCheeka
The mirror stood in the corner of the office, glistening and shiny. Not a hint of the ugliness beneath it's shine. I hate that mirror, it lies, it's an arrogant thing. It never tells the truth, and it acts so innocent. Every time I see in it, I get angry, for it never shows the real me. It only shows the physical self, which does not make any sense, for that does not matter.
I remember how I used to creep up to it and stare in it. It was a large one in the Potions office. I was always in there because the Professor liked me. She thought I was a wonderful student, she didn't know me well.
I would glance at it quickly, but it was always the same. People used to laugh at me and say I was ever so arrogant to keep looking in the mirror. I would shrug it off, who cared what they thought? Better arrogant than mentally insane. For I didn't look in the mirror to see my looks, I wanted to see me.
I was a jealous and lonely child. Jealous of all the Gryffindors, they had so many friends and always ganged up against me. Every now and then a small group of kids makes it into Hogwarts. The year I came was one of them. I am one of five Slytherins of my class. And the Gryffindors? Twelve. They, for some odd reason, hated me right from the start. They hated the pale boy with the long greasy hair, the hooked nose, the pointed ears, and the angry black eyes. I don't know why...
What did I do? I mean, suddenly they looked at me and laughed. Then they found out I was in Slytherin, and hated me even more.
I had friends, or so I thought. I had Lucius, my idol. He was everyone's idol. But it was impossible to tell from him anything. He could have hated me, I was younger, after all. An insolent little brat to him. I hung around with Macnair as well, he was all right. He was slightly kinder than Lucius, but not much. That was it, really. Two people who I could talk to, they were older.
They graduated before me, and I was alone again.
The Gryffindors, led by James, realized this, and tormented me even more. They were animagi. They could change. They thought I couldn't.
But I could.
I was a raven, and I followed them sometimes.
They never knew.
But still they tormented.
I began to retaliate, and I suppose what I did to them was crueler than what they did to me. For I had an obsession with revenge, and every thing they did to me was thrown back at them double.
Double the power.
Double the hatred.
Double the Snape.
That is what the mirror does. It doubles the Snape, but not the soul. I know that sounds pathetic, but it is true. The mirror is a reflection, but not of the true me. I wish it would.
I can not explain it, but I want to see.
I want to see that jealous and lonely child residing within me that feels hatred for all the Gryffindors and caused me to join the Dark Side. For the Dark have friends, so they said.
They didn't.
The mirror is a maze. It is impossible to find oneself.
The mirror is still here in the corner, but I have given up on it. It is gathering dust and sadness, for it is now abandoned and not used.
I sighed and glanced down at the rank book. Most kids were passing, which was rare. I tried to make my class as hard as possible. But I can't concentrate, maybe I made a mistake grading something. I can only think about the mirror.
For I am still jealous, lonely, sad...and the mirror has never proved that yet. Maybe I am only insane, and I am just cynical and evil. Maybe the whole jealousy was an excuse to join the Dark Side, and I am so guilt-ridden I have created him...
No! That can not be true...
I jumped up and grabbed at a side of the mirror, pulling it away from the wall and turning it till it faced me. I starred for a long time.
I did not see me. I saw the real Snape.
I stood frozen for a minute. It wasn't me after all. It was....I whirled around, facing the door. Draco stood there, starring at me with wide eyes.
"Sorry...if this is a bad time..." he backed up nervously.
"No..no..." So maybe the mirror didn't lie...
Here was a child much like I was. He was lonely, that much was obvious. He was jealous and vengeful...he was jealous of the Potter boy. He was me.
I glanced over at the mirror again and absentmindedly picked up a rag from the floor.
Draco starred at me, his eyes now narrow. "Are you all right?"
I nodded, smirking and pointing to the grade book to show him. He marched over and picked it up. He laughed at the sight of Neville's grade. Then he stopped abruptly and frowned at nothing. He was pretending to be looking at the book, but I could tell he wasn't. His eyes were sad. Potter must have said something to him. I suddenly felt guilty toward the forlorn boy. I felt I had made him the way he was somehow. For I had made myself that way.
"Do you want to come back here every week or something?" I asked randomly.
"Why?" he jerked his head up.
I shrugged. "Just to talk and stuff, think up devious potions to give the Gryffindors to make. You know, be friends?"
"What?" he said blankly.
"I was a Slytherin. I know how hard it is to make friends..."
He looked at me oddly for another second before shrugging and walking towards the door. I didn't stop him that time, I watched his receding back.
I had found that lonely boy, and I could help him now.
I started humming to myself as I carefully wiped the dust from the mirror.