Enjoying The Chronicles Of An Adult's Youth

by ghirahim

Gai and Kakashi are "eternal" rivals and despite what Kakashi may say out loud he also considers Gai his best friend. Dealing with his helicopter father, insane co-workers and perpetually brooding godson make Kakashi wonder just how his relationship with Gai is the most stable thing in his life.

1. the most (in)sane part of (in)sanity

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I make any money from writing fanfiction

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Hatake Kakashi crouched forward with his hands on his knees panting heavily casting a sidelong glance at the black-haired man beside him while simultaneously getting some much needed air into his lungs. The white-haired man had absolutely no idea why he was racing his 'eternal rival' of the last fourteen and a half years (give or take) to the man's dojo. Oh right! He had an inkling... because said 'rival' was insane! A friendly race was fine, once in a while, but to do it from downtown wearing weights? There was absolutely nothing friendly nor fine about that!

They were doing this same song and dance for almost half their lives and even though it never got any older – they did. Kakashi stood up straight stretching. He had to be careful not to stretch too much and pull something ...again. His rival, Maito Gai, was stretching as well. They were running for at least a half hour but since he was used to such bizarre behavior Kakashi wasn't as tired as he should be though his legs were going to be sore as hell tomorrow; maybe even later today. In his blurred peripheral vision he saw several people stop and stare or take pictures/videos. It wasn't uncommon for them to initiate their crazy 'youthful ' challenges in towns or high human traffic areas. Fortunately, Kakashi had been able to persuade Gai to have a race somewhere far away from where they lived so he wouldn't have to be reminded of his age and the fact that it wasn't exactly normal for a couple of thirty-year-old men to run through towns like maniacs. And as a bonus it was winter so their faces were concealed, somewhat, by scarfs and hoods.

But hell, Gai was not normal in any sense of the word and strangely enough it was Kakashi liked most about him. Though that was something he'd take to the grave. No one needed to know how much he liked Gai – people merely thought Kakashi put up with him because Gai was unnervingly persistent but that was only half the truth. Shit, that part wasn't true at all! Yes, Gai's persistence knew no bounds but it was – never mind there was no need to think about that now.

Overall ...Gai was an overzealous, loud , hardworking, attention deficit, brutally direct health nut that possibly suffered from obsessive compulsive disorder and could be exceptionally pushy particularly when it pertained to being healthy or active or whatever. That was basically the gist of it anyway. Still, given all of Gai's oddities these damn competitions were the worst possible thing he did! And he did them almost all the time! Not only were they physically straining but they happened sporadically to boot! Yes, it was almost all the time but it was always at the most inopportune times for Kakashi. Gai was hellbent on enjoying his youth – or whatever was left of it because at thirty he didn't have that much youth left in the tank but Gai insisted that he was in the prime of his adult youth... whatever the hell that was. Though Gai just turned thirty about a month ago while Kakashi was thirty for a few months already.

The black-haired man kept himself busy, when he wasn't tormenting the students of his dojo with insane workouts, by challenging Kakashi to whatever ridiculous idea fell into his head. Kakashi honestly lost track of how many times they competed against one another; Gai, however, possessed one hell of an impressive memory in addition to some of his other redeeming qualities. In fact, Kakashi was often convinced Gai was some sort of cyborg or part elephant since he never forgot anything. No, that wasn't exactly true. Gai forgot lots of stuff – all the time – just nothing that had to do with these competitions. It made Kakashi wonder if Gai was generally absent-minded or just oblivious to everything that didn't involve training?

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Just as Kakashi was about to say something his childhood friend Asuma opened the dojo door frowning. "Damn, how did you two make it back before I did?"

"The power of youth my friend!" Gai declared giving the bearded man his signature thumbs up but he looked too tired to unleash its full effect. Maybe if they weren't doing one-armed push ups before they started racing Gai wouldn't look as worn out as he did. But Kakashi couldn't afford to waste brain cells thinking about Gai's unusual reasoning. Doing that kind of warm up before a race? No. Pretty soon his brain would start leaking out of his ears if he wasn't careful.

"Well, I stalled your students as much as I could." Gai nodded then stood up straight. Kakashi winced as his back let out a particularly loud crack.

"Thank you Asuma." The black-haired man nodded. Gai turned to Kakashi. "Excellent race as always dear rival." Kakashi had a snarky comment on the tip of his tongue but he was too damn tired so he merely nodded. "I shall go prepare for my class."

"Don't strain yourself!" Asuma said with a frown as Gai walked in the dojo. "Seriously though..." He turned to Kakashi, "I left a half hour before you guys did and I just got here. His students were getting antsy so I brought them to the dojo."

"I-I don't even know anymore." With Asuma chuckling, they entered the dojo and plopped on the tatami mats watching Gai tire his students out. Kakashi had nowhere near as much stamina as Gai (hell, no one did) but Gai had to be feeling something akin to fatigue right now. He was either blessed with an inhumane amount of stamina or was putting on one serious front.

Asuma elbowed him, "you're worried about him aren't you? That's sweet." Kakashi rolled his eyes. "You are a thoroughbred ultra masochist in every sense of the word my friend. Putting up with Gai while caring about his well-being?"

Kakashi shrugged shaking his legs trying to get the feeling back in them. It probably wasn't the wisest idea to sit after a workout that intense. Contrary to popular believe Kakashi did not peg himself as a masochist – he did not enjoy biweekly trips to the local clinics making sure everything was in order nor did he like frequently submerging his body in a pool of ice water to loosen his stuff muscles ...which was probably what he had to do when he got home.

So the question remained: why did he put himself through this shit, repeatedly? He sure as hell did not have to deal with the craziness Gai seemed to unwittingly attract; though it was obvious any lesser creature would not be able to handle Gai once let alone countless times for over a decade. If Gai didn't have someone to challenge on a whim he would probably go around seeking people to quell his insatiable addiction to whatever the hell this was called. Kakashi figured the only plausible reason he could come up with for involving himself with Gai (aside from sating Gai's insatiable competition addiction) was his life would be a hell of a lot more boring without him. That was something else he would never openly admit to anyone. Even if they weren't competing, as rare as it was, just hanging out with Gai turned out to be fun; but most of the time hanging out with Gai somehow turned into a competition of some sort.

"Alright Kakashi, as much fun as it was, I gotta book. Kurenai is taking me to see some kind of theatre thing." The black-haired man sighed then stood up. "I leave Gai to you." He said giving Kakashi a two-fingered salute.

"As always." Kakashi said taking the weights off his legs stuffing them into his pockets. "You know, if you spent a little more time with Gai, Asuma, you'd discover he isn't so bad."

"Oh no, I'm not falling for that again." Asuma rubbed the back of his neck. "Last time you said I should spend time with Gai I ended up in the hospital with fifteen stitches."

"True... but you wouldn't have met that cute nurse without Gai, right?" Asuma sighed nodding in defeat. "And, you wouldn't have any plans for later."

"Alright, alright. You made your point, damn. You're just so eager to dump him off on someone else." Kakashi shrugged innocently. "I'll hang out with Gai the next time you idiots want to run yourselves ragged. Just keep in mind that I won't even attempt to join in your competitions because I can barely keep up with watching you two make asses out of yourselves." Asuma sighed, "hell just talking about it is exhausting. I swear you have to be the perfect workout partner for Gai hands down, masochist or not. I mean, just think of how much of a wreck you were when you two first met. He definitely succeeded in bringing you out of that shell."

Kakashi's eyebrows furrowed. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Don't get mad Kakashi, I'm just saying everyone treated you like glass; a sheltered prince of sorts... yet Gai, lacking tact, saw the inner youthfulness in you or whatever the hell he said and sought you out to be his rival for eternity."

"No one treated me like a glass prince!" Asuma rose an eyebrow, "alright fine. I was fucking isolated after my mom died. You know the only reason Gai made me his rival was I accidentally beat him in gym class."

"Of course I know, I was there." Asuma laughed. "We actually talked about that. He said if you were that good with luck you're probably amazing with actual skill." Facepalming, Kakashi shook his head. "Man, that entire conversation was hilarious by the way. Oh! And I guess I spent more time with Gai than you think." He said with a wink. "But I'm always up for hearing about your insane competitions." Asuma couldn't help but laugh again as Kakashi sighed. "I should probably get going, feel free to bitch at me when I get home."

"I'll be expecting that call Sarutobi-kun."

"And you will get it Hatake-chan~" Kakashi sighed heavily as Asuma left. He had a poor choice in friends if he said so himself unbiased. What the hell was he thinking hanging out with those two for most of his life? He must have been out of his mind, there was no other reason for it. He met Asuma in kindergarten and they sort of just stuck for the next twenty four years; their fathers were friends but even if that wasn't the case the two of them just bonded over the years. The relationship he had with Gai was a bit more ...complicated than that. They met during their second year of high school towards the end of the school year; they weren't in the same class so they barely registered one another's existence. Kakashi being popular and treated like a prince – as foretold by Asuma – while Gai was that goofy, weird kid parents told their children not to make contact with. It was that fateful day, as Gai would put it, in gym class that made Kakashi start paying attention to Gai and not necessarily in a good way. All the second years shared a gym class and the students were randomly selected to race against one another and the winners of each race would face of against winners of other races and so on and so forth. Blah, blah, blah... long story short – the final round of the entire race thing pitted Kakashi against Gai.

The students seemed convinced despite his oddities and overall loser status Gai had the race in the proverbial bag being the more physical of the two. No one said it to his face but they were still loud enough to be heard and Kakashi didn't like that this guy was picked to be the favorite... against him; he couldn't bear the shock of losing to such a weird looking person. As they raced they were pretty evenly matched much to the surprise and disdain of their peers. The race seemed to go on forever with neither boy showing signs of fatigue but as they were nearing toward the end Kakashi uncharacteristically tripped over himself and rolled forward, almost violently, to the finish line beating Gai. Needless to say, the gym was eerily quiet when the dust settled.

Gai helped Kakashi up giving him a thumbs up saying things like he was impressive and it was a good race among other things Kakashi couldn't really remember. Gai had the tendency to ramble uncontrollably and Kakashi was grateful he developed the ability to ignore him early on. But the one thing Kakashi did remember Gai saying clearly was him being openly declared as his rival in front of everyone.

Kakashi was beyond mortified and Asuma was laughing so hard he was borderline hysterical on the verge of tears. Getting over the initial shock, Kakashi thought nothing of Gai's declaration until a few days later when they squared off again in another random competition. The result was the same but there wasn't any accidents or trips. Apparently that made something inside of Gai stir because he proclaimed that the next time they squared off he would beat Kakashi.

Kakashi's original intention was to shrug off Gai's bold claim like he did the last time but that scary, determined look in Gai's eyes said otherwise. True to Gai's claim the next time they met in a gym class battle he did win. Seeing as how it was a close match Kakashi was downright outraged and almost immediately challenged Gai to another competition which they tied. Looking back, Kakashi realized he was partially responsible for this never ending cycle of competing with Gai. If anything he was completely responsible; had he not challenged Gai after he lost that time this entire thing wouldn't have gotten so damn out of hand. In fact, he shouldn't have agreed to competing with Gai in the first place! Okay, he didn't have a choice the first two times because it was random with the classes and whatnot but all he had to do was say no when Gai challenged him officially for the first time. Then again, Gai was disgustingly persistent so he really didn't have a choice.

Since Kakashi initiating a challenge sort of made it seem as though this wasn't just a one-sided rivalry whenever the classes joined for gym Kakashi knew Gai would be there to challenge him to something; sometimes he won and other times he lost but no matter the outcome it was always a close match. Prior to the whole 'you are my new rival forever' bit from Gai no one dared challenge Kakashi to anything because they thought he was untouchable. The loss of his mother made him pretty hollow but after Gai showed up letting them know, letting them see, Kakashi was human and even capable of losing and getting angry the white-haired teen became even more popular. Surprisingly, Gai became popular too – well not exactly popular but well known. During the transition into their third year the high school yearbook had them listed as eternal rivals, best friends, most inseparable and far more unflattering combinations. Kakashi probably would never admit it out loud but he actually considered Gai, craziness and all, his best friend – well one as the other would be Asuma. Strangely enough competing with Gai even for fifty two minutes a day made high school seem more bearable. After the gym competitions they started hanging out during lunch and as the years went on they hung out outside of school. Then after that they did become as inseparable as the yearbook stated.

"Excuse me?" Kakashi broke out of the musings about his younger days and turned around seeing a brunet standing in front of him. The man's eyes widened and he forced a smile. "H-Hatake-senpai, I didn't expect to see you here." Unlike Gai, Kakashi was good with faces – he possessed something of a photographic memory or whatever but Kakashi also suffered from selective memory loss and that was exceptionally useful when pertaining to Gai sometimes. But there was no way he could forget this guy and judging by his current demeanor Kakashi wasn't forgotten either.

"Tenzō-kun, so good to see you." The brunet cringed and Kakashi couldn't help but chuckle. It was nice to see his adorable little kōhai didn't change too much in four years. "Its been a while, hasn't it?"

"Yeah..." The brunet frowned. "Senpai, I asked you for years not to call me Tenzō."

"And I told you when you graduated high school that I wasn't your senpai anymore so I guess we're even."

The brunet pouted but before he could comment a purple-haired woman came out of nowhere nuzzling him with her breasts in some kind of embrace. "Damn Tenzō, it is good to see you!" She released him then hugged him at shoulder level. "Kakashi, the visible part of your face is looking good." She said with a wink, "where's the lovable green beast?" Kakashi merely pointed. "Ooh! He's in his karate-gi—"

"No, Anko, stay!" Huffing, the purple-haired woman pouted then folded her arms over her chest standing completely still. "Still as skittish as ever Yamato-kun." The brunet sighed. "What can I do for you?"

"Nothing, sen... Hatake-san. I'm here to see Gai-san." Kakashi put a finger to his masked chin. During the summer of his final year of high school he, accidentally, volunteered to be a mentor to a junior high school student; it was the only way to get away from Gai without seeming as though he was trying to get away from Gai. Whatever the case it worked because he was competition free for nearly two months. The backlash of that was Gai was relentless for an entire week to make up for lost time.

With all the craziness he and Gai went through over the years it was hard to believe they only attended the same school for a little over a year. That was probably a good thing since most of their last year in high school had them in the same class and Kakashi couldn't put up with that any longer than he had to. "How do you know Gai exactly?"

"I don't. I work for a delivery company and I'm delivering something to him." Yamato appeared to be pouting by the tone of his voice but his facial expression remained neutral. Kakashi nodded then stood and calmly grabbed Anko by the collar as she was attempting to sneak off in Gai's direction.

"For fuck's sake Kakashi put me down! I just want to look! Its not like he's in the shower or anything!" Anko flailed. People said he was shameless but they clearly did not know Mitarashi Anko. She was perhaps the most shameless person he ever met – and one of his best friends was Gai for crying out loud! Anko was the type of woman to do things consequences be damned! She had more wardrobe malfunctions than Kakashi and his photographic memory cared to count. She would rather proudly flaunt her bare breasts then cover them with her hands or a towel but who was Kakashi to complain? He liked a nice, firm set of ample breasts as much as the next person. Incidentally, Anko was the only person he knew that frequented nude beaches. "How's about this? If you let me get closer to Gai, I'll get you an autographed copy of Icha Icha Paradise Revenge!" Anko was dropped in almost a heartbeat. She smirked licking her lips at Kakashi who was practically frozen on sight. "A friend of mine knows the editor and I might be able to hook you up but you gotta help me out first."

"Sen... Hatake-san, you can't seriously agree to this!"

"Quiet Tenzō!" Anko turned to him, "what do you say Kakashi? From one porn lover to another. An eye for an eye..." Kakashi was tempted, very tempted. The Icha Icha series was one of the things he could not live without – to get an autographed copy would make him a very, very happy man. And it was something Gai could easily be sacrificed for – it wasn't as though it was something terrible to have Anko just talk to him... (and he wasn't responsible for anything that happened after said talking.)

Unfortunately he didn't have time to mull anything over because Gai approached the group with a towel draped over his shoulders. Kakashi glanced at Anko who appeared to be salivating at the sight of a sweat-ladened, partially bare chested Gai. Had it been possible to get a nosebleed from perverted thoughts alone Anko would be a literal bloody mess. While most people lacked flattering things to say about Gai's personality, wardrobe or just him in general his physique was constantly complimented and ogled.

"Gai~" Anko approached him gripping one of his muscular arms. "Good to feel you. How do you stay so ripped?"

"Its not that hard."

Anko squeezed his arm again leering. "Not yet." Kakashi facepalmed. That was quite possibly the most blatant innuendo ever uttered; even Tenzō was blushing. Gai must not have been as dense as everyone assumed because he laughed nervously forcibly detaching his arm from Anko's death grip.

"You got set up for that one Gai." Kakashi shrugged off the glare he was getting. "By the way, you have a guest~"

Nervously, the brunet bowed. "G-Greetings Gai-san. I'm Yamato." He glared briefly at Kakashi whistling lowly. "I have a package for you, can you stamp it?"

"Of course!" Gai bellowed. "Its nice to meet you Yamato-san!" He took his stamp out of his pocket stamping the clipboard then getting the box from the brunet. "You seem to be quite friendly with Kakashi and Anko-chan."

Yamato grimaced and mumbled something incoherently. Anko wrapped an arm around Yamato's shoulders laughing. "Oh yeah we're real close, very tight knit and whatever. We went to junior high together." She nodded to herself, "Kakashi mentored him briefly when we were third years."

Kakashi eyed the stamp Gai was putting back into his pocket. "Why did you have that in your pocket?"

"So that's what I felt!" Anko exclaimed.

Kakashi turned back to Gai slowly trying very hard to ignore Anko's outburst, "were you expecting something?"

"Yes. I'm out of bandages, wristbands and leg warmers so I ordered some." Gai shook the box. "I got a pretty good deal online and it came really fast too. How could I pass something like that up?"

"Are you going to wrap yourself up now?"

"Hm?" Gai eyed the purple-haired woman, "no... I'm good with the bandages. Yamato-san, I thank you for a job well done." The brunet blushed slightly bowing. "Well, I must get back to my students."

Kakashi snapped his fingers in front of Anko causing her to stop staring at Gai's ass as he walked off. "What was that for?!" The white-haired man shook his head.

As this was his first time seeing Gai, Yamato thought he seemed like a nice person which was rare since he hung around Kakashi and most of the people associated with the white-haired man were the complete opposite of nice; excluding himself but Yamato didn't like to think of himself being associated with Kakashi most of the time. But being the object of Anko's lust was not a good thing to be. The brunet spoke from personal experience on that one.

Yamato cleared his throat as Anko and Kakashi started arguing, just like they did in high school. "I think I'll take my leave now."

"Don't be a stranger now Yamato-kun~" The brunet glared at Kakashi before hastily leaving. "Ah. He's just as much fun as I remember." He glanced at Anko propping her chin with her hands. "You're not that mad I kept you from seeing Gai's ass are you? You've seen it thousands of times. Plus, its not that impressive."

"First of all, that ass is a masterpiece and should be put on display! Secondly, Gai's ass had me thinking about asses which made me think of Kurenai." Kakashi rose an eyebrow. Kurenai was one of the nicest people he ever met. "Don't give me that look. Most of the time she's pretty tolerable but yesterday..." Anko sighed. "Okay, she has this friend wants to put them on a date so I offered but she told me I couldn't! Or rather she didn't want me to! Can you believe that?" Kakashi nodded earning a growl from Anko. "I thought it might be because the friend wasn't into girls but she said that wasn't it! The most fucked up part you may be wondering? She wants you to do it. Which is crazy considering you don't date without an ulterior motive not to mention you'd fuck anything willing with a pulse."

"Give me some credit, I wouldn't fuck anything. There are times in which sex is the furthest thing on my mind, like in the case of right now." Anko rolled her eyes. "Besides, if I recall you are the one that would fuck anything willing with a pulse." Anko hissed at him. " Furthermore, you are the one that constantly throws herself at someone clearly uninterested."

"Are you referring to Gai? Who says Gai isn't interested?"

"I never said anything about Gai but since we're on the subject... I'd have to say his expressions, his body language, the fact that he told you, constantly, he only thinks of you as a friend? Need I go on?"

"Don't give me that shit. Gai's interested – he just doesn't know it yet."

"Yeah, okay. You're a bit deluded there don't you think?" Anko's eyes narrowed. "Gai!" The black-haired man walked over to them. "I'd love to stay and spent the day watching you torture your students but my father's coming and he insists I spend the evening with him."

Gai tied the obi around his waist tighter turning to Kakashi. "Why didn't you tell me Sakumo-san was in town? We could have trained together!"

"Whoa, settle down there. He's not in town yet and I didn't even know about it until this morning. I have to pick him up from the airport in a little bit. Stop by tomorrow if you want to train." Gai nodded enthusiastically going back to his students. "Stay out of trouble Mitarashi." Anko stuck her tongue out at him as he left.

And so Kakashi left the Dynamic Entry dojo; it was a far better name than the Dojo of the Beautiful Green Beast. Kakashi shuddered. The sign didn't see the light of day before it was brutally rejected by everyone Gai showed it to. He wandered down the streets with his hands shoved in his pockets. His father had grown disgustingly fond of Gai over the years. The two of them actually worked out together – his fifty something year old father was able to keep up with a thirty year old; well Gai had the stamina of guys half his age so it was more like a fifty-year-old keeping up with a fifteen-year-old. Either way no one could really keep up with Gai (excluding Kakashi whose body was pretty much in tune with Gai's level of insanity – though Kakashi could not, and would not, keep up with Gai all the time) but Kakashi's father came pretty damn close but it was probably expected considering he and Kakashi shared DNA.

Pre-Gai/Post Wife Hatake Sakumo was a serious, candid and quite frankly cold man. The loss of his wife left him pretty fucking miserable, even more than Kakashi since he blamed himself for her declining health then the accident really threw him for a loop. He was in a bad place... reclusive, contemplating and actually attempting suicide, suffering from alcoholism; the whole nine yards. He was even put in a psych ward for three years. It was depressing to watch and that was why Kakashi was treated like glass for a good chunk of his life. He lost his mother and was dangerously close to losing his father. Who would have thought a tactless, jumpsuit happy sixteen-year-old could change Sakumo with manly tears and ramblings of youthful optimism?

"Kakashi!" A white eyebrow rose as a black-haired man ran up to him. He regained his composure then folded his arms over his chest. "Finished hanging out with your buddy? How sweet. I honestly don't know how—"

"Is this going to take long Obito? I kind of have things to do."

The black-haired man's nostrils flared. "You really piss me off sometimes." Obito took a piece of paper out of his pocket handing it to Kakashi. "Your dad's coming to town right? Fugaku-nī says hello and whatever."

"Reduced to playing errand boy Uchiha? I find that sweeter than me hanging out with Gai." Obito grit his teeth. As he was visibly seething, Kakashi took the opportunity to read the paper Obito begrudgingly gave him. Fugaku, who was like Obito's cousin or whatever (he didn't really know or care enough to ever ask), asked Kakashi to mentor his son. Kakashi was hardly mentor material but what the hell, he had to do something that wasn't Gai related. "Did you read this before stuffing it in your pocket?"

"No. I thought about reading it but I realized I didn't give a shit so I put it in my pocket." Obito shrugged, "Fugaku ask you for a favor?"

Kakashi read over the paper again then looked up at Obito. "He wants me to mentor his son."

"You sure that's not meant for your dad?"

"It says Kakashi." He showed the paper to Obito. "And he's got two sons so I'm not entirely sure which one he wants me to mentor and it doesn't say sons so its probably only one, right?" Obito shrugged. "I guess I'll stop by the house and see what's what. I'll bring dad so everyone can ogle him as usual."

"Good. I missed ogling your dad. And I'm sure, even if he didn't specify, he wants you to mentor Sasuke... that damn kid's got a couple of screws loose."

"Wouldn't that be a case of the pot calling the kettle black? You're not exactly articulated perfectly either Uchiha. Then again your whole damn family is screwier than a standard toolbox."

"You know, normally I'd bitch and call you out but you're so damn accurate its not even funny." Obito sighed shaking his head, "want some company?"

"Sure, I could use it." Uchiha Obito would be considered Kakashi's first rival or rival/friend... however there really weren't any sort of competitions going on between them. There was a huge difference in stamina, intellect and damn near everything else. They met in junior high and Obito was more than just a little jealous of Kakashi's unwanted popularity so he attempted to show Kakashi up but Obito was (and still is) pretty damn clumsy so all his attempts never really worked but they did get Kakashi's attention. Eventually, he got sick of his one-sided rivalry and settled for being a friend of sorts – he was struggling with his decision for a while but he knew he made the right choice after he met Gai and saw he was a far better rival; Gai was by no means smart (hell, he was probably dumber than Obito and that was saying something!) but he had more stamina than Kakashi also he was way more persistent. The universe could not have handpicked a better person to constantly harass Kakashi than Gai.

Kakashi contemplated driving but it was such a nice day, and Gai influenced him far more than he would ever care to admit, so he opted to walk to the airport with Obito. "Are you sure we're not walking because your license got revoked or something?" Obito glanced skeptically at him. "Wait, you do have your driver's license don't you Kakashi?"

The white-haired man stopped walking frowning through his surgical mask. "Heh heh..." He chuckled. "Of course I do... or did. What year is it?" Obito facepalmed as they began walking again. "Oh come on. Who drives anymore? Everything is in walking or bus distance." Obito shook his head. "What about you? Do you have a license?"

"Uh, yeah. But even if I didn't I'm not the one putting on a front." Kakashi made a noncommittal noise. "But I agree with the not driving thing. I don't even have a damn car."

"Whenever I want to go somewhere that needs to be driven to I just bum a ride with Asuma. Simple as that."

"And he just lets you?"

"Provided that I pay for sustenance we're good." Obito rose an eyebrow, "you know gas and 'snackage' as you would put it?"

"Wait, Asuma can drive?!" Kakashi nodded. "Cool. Hey, speaking of Asuma where the hell is he? If you're not with Gai then you're usually with him."

"As in I have no one else whom I would be with?" Obito nodded. "Well you're right, as for your first question Asuma's on a date with Kurenai."

"They're still in that experimental dating bullshit phase? I swear its nauseating how hot and heavy those two get when they think no one is paying attention to them." Obito laughed then looked up, "oh shit we're here." Kakashi stopped walking and looked up at the sign that said Otogakure Airport. The two thirty-year-olds entered the building. The Oto airport was pretty freaking huge and it was the only international airport in the town of Konohagakure.

"Kakashi!" The white-haired man barely had time to brace himself as another white-haired man rammed into him embracing him. "You're so big! Is that you Bito? Get in here!" Obito winced as he was forced into the tight embrace too. After what seemed like forever, they were released and had to gasp for air. "Where's Gai-chan?"

Obito glanced at Kakashi who shrugged. "Nice seeing you too dad, really. Gai's at the dojo with his students." Sakumo seemed incredibly depressed by that news, he put his head down and frowned slightly. Kakashi looked around before looking back at his father. "Didn't you bring any bags?"

The white-haired man's head perked up. "I didn't want to go through that whole checking my bag in thing and I was kind of running late so I just shipped everything in a box."

"Uh, wouldn't that be more trouble than just bringing a few things with you?"

Sakumo turned to Obito shaking his head. "Why would I just bring a few things Bito-chan? I'd like to have all of my things to sort through at home." Obito and Kakashi merely stared at him. "Why are you— oh, I forgot! I didn't tell either of you that I'm going to be living here!"

"Here?" Obito echoed. "You're moving in with Kakashi ? He has eight dogs at his place! And some of them are really big!"

"Don't worry. I'm not moving in with him... them. I mean, wait a minute, eight dogs? Really?" The white-haired man shook his head readjusting his thoughts. "I am going to stay with him for a while but just until I find a place of my own." Sakumo laughed. "You don't mind, do you son?"

Kakashi's right eye twitched. "Not at all." He spoke to his father frequently but the last time he physically saw the man was three years ago but the last time his father actually stayed in his house was about six or seven years ago and he didn't have the dogs then so this would definitely be interesting. If he and Gai were so damn close perhaps he wouldn't mind staying with Gai but Kakashi couldn't just dump his father off on someone else even if it was Gai. Though in that particular situation, as strange as it would sound, Kakashi would feel more sorry for Gai than his father. "We have to stop by the Uchiha manor, if you're not too tired."

"Me, tired? Don't be ridiculous! I'm just brimming with youthful energy!" Kakashi sighed as Sakumo gave him a thumbs up in a Gai like fashion. "Well don't just dawdle boys, lets go." Exchanging questionable glances, they followed Sakumo out of the airport but with far less enthusiasm.

After leaving the airport, Sakumo rented a car from next door to take them to the Uchiha Manor. The man wasn't even in town three minutes and he was already spending money! Yet he had the gall to complain about Kakashi's spending habits?! As much as Sakumo would enjoy the walk the Uchiha Manor was not within walking distance of anything... except maybe other houses occupied by other members of the Uchiha family. They were the richest, biggest, most powerful clan in town so they owned a hell of a lot of land. They technically lived on the outskirts of Otogakure which stupidly bordered and merged into Konohagakure and Kumogakure but no one had the time or energy to figure out how these towns were connected. Anyway, as the Uchiha clan enjoyed seclusion their land was filled with houses for their clan and their clan only. The biggest house was the 'main house' home to the patriarch of the entire family and that was the same house they were going to visit. Said house was big and fancy like one would expect – the front gate was like a twenty minute drive or hour long walk away from the damn entrance! With Obito being the clan's black sheep and resident 'rebel' he didn't live within the Uchiha land. That was one of the main reasons why Kakashi and Obito got along as well as they did (most of the time); Obito was as nonconformist as one could be. If Kakashi had to say, he'd consider Obito his third best friend... or maybe it was a three-way tie?

It was one hell of a drive; Sakumo barely obeyed the speed limit and after about three hours total they arrived at the front entrance of the Uchiha manor. Instead of seeing a servant or someone along those lines, Fugaku disinterestedly opened the door. Once he saw who was on the other side his expression went from disinterested to neutral. "Sakumo, good to see you old man."

"Fugaku!" The black-haired man allowed himself to be embraced and returned the embrace with half the enthusiasm. A blue-haired woman popped up from behind Fugaku. "Mikoto!" Sakumo released Fugaku to hug his wife for a few seconds before releasing her and staring. "You look more beautiful every time I see you."

"Oh Sakumo-san, you're such a charmer." She blushed. "And you're probably the only man who can get away with flirting with me standing next to my husband." She teased giggling though Fugaku didn't seem as amused. "Please come in." Obito, Sakumo and Kakashi walked in the house, toed off their shoes then looked around as they were led to the living room and gestured to sit down on plush couches.

"I see you redecorated." Obito commented with a whistle as he tried to adjust himself in the seat.

"You'd know that if you still lived here." He winced as Mikoto hit him over the head before she sat down on the arm of her husband's chair. "I still can't imagine why you wouldn't want to live in one of these houses. They're nicer than anything you could afford." Obito pouted, "and you can fix them up however you'd like. Its a win-win but you want to be stubborn." Kakashi glanced out the corner of his eye seeing a person briefly before they disappear. He rubbed his eyes and looked again seeing nothing. He might have the scar vertically running down his left eye but his eyesight wasn't that bad, unless his eyes were playing tricks on him. "Would anyone care for something to drink or eat? We gave the entire staff the night off so we could make food from scratch!"

"Yeah, you're living the dream Miko-nē." Obito slunk further into his seat. "Where are Sasuke and Itachi?" Mikoto and Fugaku exchanged glances before the former readjusted herself on the chair's arm. "You... you're kidding, right? You mean to tell me you don't know where your children are!? I mean I expect this from Fugaku-nī but—"

"What does it matter if we don't know where they are? They're practically adults anyhow... well one is already an adult but you understand."

"Speaking of your children." Kakashi began attempting to sit up in this incredibly comfy couch that he seemed to be sinking further into. "Which one did you want me to help with?"

Flabbergasted, Mikoto turned to her husband. "What is he talking about? You asked Kakashi-kun to help with our children!? Why?"

Fugaku sighed. "Well dear, you don't want to hire just anyone off the street – regardless of their credentials – so why not ask a friend of sorts? Its almost like not helping at all and I don't have to worry about paying him so I actually think its better." Mikoto glared at him. "So, what do you say Kakashi?"

"Why ask him?" Obito asked, "I wouldn't mind helping out my relatives! Oh and in case you hadn't realized this Kakashi isn't exactly role model material."

"Neither are you." Obito huffed, "however he is the lesser of two evils if you are the only other option. Furthermore, as Kakashi has far too much time on his hands it'll give him something to do aside from play with Gai-kun all day."

"W-Wait a minute! Is that what you think I do? Play with Gai? All day ?" Everyone stared at him raising an eyebrow, even his father, and Kakashi couldn't help but put his head down in defeat. It might have been what he did on a close to daily basis but he didn't do it all day. No one would be able to survive that.

"Hold on! You think he is less evil than I am!?" Obito growled. "How is that even possible?"

Mikoto rose an eyebrow then leaned on her husband whispering something in his ear. "Oh alright! If you're going to be a big baby about it you can help out too and I didn't say he was less evil than you I said he was the lesser of two evils meaning though both of you are poor influential idiots at least I don't have to worry about my kids getting any stupider around Kakashi." Obito gaped at him.

Mikoto clapped her hands together, "how about those drinks now?" Without waiting for a reply she stood and walked into the kitchen briefly and returned with five glasses and a bottle of sake. "We also have imported drinks~" She produced a bottle of wine from behind her. The guys cheered as she poured wine in their glasses.

"Kanpai!" They cheered as they began drinking.

Mikoto glanced up as the door was opening and spit out her wine on her clothes and the chair. Her twenty-year-old first born son's head and left arm were wrapped in bandages and his long hair was out of its usual ponytail falling down past his shoulders; beside him stood her second born, fourteen-year-old son in a similar state only his left arm was in a sling as well. "What the hell happened to you two!?" She screamed jumping to her feet inspecting them before they could get to the living room.

"This wouldn't have happened if you knew where they were~" Obito sing-songs then shrank back as Mikoto glared at him. "I-I'm just saying!"

She continued inspecting them. "I'm fine mom, its only minor injuries." Her first born glanced at his pouting brother, "he on the other hand isn't so lucky. The idiot decided to get into a fight with an upperclassman."

"So, why are you so banged up then?" Kakashi asked.

"I was getting to that." He sighed, "I came to pick up Sasuke like dad asked when he started fighting the kid and I tried to stop him which, looking back, was not the smartest thing to do. We spent three hours in the hospital and for the record Sasuke got his ass kicked." The fourteen-year-old grit his teeth.

"Itachi, not in front of your mother." The twenty-year-old nods. "Here." He gave his first born his glass. "You could use this."

"You're one hell of a father Fugaku." Sakumo said lifting his glass nodding at him. "Of course I shared my drinks with Kakashi way before he was legal... but I was a former alcoholic."

"Shit, I wish I had one of you guys as my dad, he still doesn't let me drink with him." Obito huffed then took a sip of his wine.

"Oh..." Itachi put the now empty glass down, "you didn't hear the best part. You two have a mandatory meeting at school tomorrow with the principal, vice principal and guardian of the boy Sasuke fought." Mikoto and Fugaku exchanged glances sighed then filled their wine glasses before drinking and emptying them.

"Sasuke, go to your room." Fugaku said putting his glass down. Turning on his heels, the fourteen-year-old complied stomping up the stairs. Fugaku massaged his temples. "I swear... I'm at my wits end with that boy. You asked which kid, didn't you Kakashi? Well take a guess."

Nodding, Kakashi finished his drink then trudged upstairs. Itachi watched the white-haired man disappear up the stairs before taking his seat. "He's going to talk to Sasuke?" Fugaku nodded. "Why?"

"Its cheaper than a counselor." Fugaku drank another glass of wine.

Meanwhile, Kakashi knocked on Sasuke's door and when he wasn't met with a reply he opened the door and walked inside. Once he approached the bed he leaned over. Sasuke glanced at him narrowing his eyes. "What?"

"Your father asked me to talk to you." Sighing, Sasuke sat up glaring. "It would kind of help if you actually talked. Think of it as give and take." Sasuke would have folded his arms over his chest but one of his arms was currently in a sling so he merely sat there frowning. "Now, who did you fight and why?"

"Did my dad really ask you to talk to me or are you just being nosy?" Kakashi shrugged with a smile; the surgical mask he usually wore was hanging on his chin. "Fine. Since its you I guess its okay." Sasuke huffed. "I was heading to Jūgo's classroom for lunch when I saw the stupid kid coming out of another class. We exchanged several words then we started fighting, simple as that."

Kakashi nodded in understanding as he sat down beside Sasuke. "Itachi said you got your ass kicked."

"Yeah, he would say that." Sasuke rolled his eyes, "and its not like the other guy got out completely unscathed... and what determines whether you've 'won' a fight or not anyway?"

"The one with the less bruises usually ends up being the winner."

"Oh what do you know!? You and Gai go at it like psychopaths yet you get equal amounts of bruises; incidentally he's the one that usually kicks your ass."

"Touche." Kakashi chuckled pulling his mask over his nose and mouth. "I figured you were fighting your crush but it just sounds like some kid you hate..." Kakashi's eyes widened as Sasuke looked down blushing slightly. "Sasuke, no! Aren't you too old to bully the one you like?"

Sasuke's face was full on red now. "Its not like I do it on purpose! A-And anyway, I-I thought you'd be more surprised that I like another guy but you're more surprised about that!?"

"Well you and I are a lot alike, you know? I figured if I was good with either sex you would be too. But I never would have pegged you for an emotional masochist."

"Huh? What does that even mean?"

"Well you're a sadist under normal circumstances, you enjoy seeing other people miserable but seeing as how you cannot turn it off you make the kid you like hate you which, in turn, causes you pain making you an emotional masochist but a physical sadist. Understand?"

"Yeah." Sasuke frowned, "I think all those blows to the head made you crazy... crazier. So, if we're the same—" Sasuke eyed Kakashi, "does that mean you like Gai?"

"What!? Of course not! Why would you..." Kakashi facepalmed. "Oh no. The kid you like resembles Gai?! Maito Gai!? Where did I go wrong?" He shook his head. "Lets get something straight kid, we may be alike but that is probably the one thing we don't have in common. Gai is a friend, I'm not into him – at all. My type is preferably someone that doesn't call me at four in the morning to see if we're still going camping at eight; someone who isn't going to make me run around a track field with leg weights, someone who isn't going to challenge me to a ramen eating competition after I get out of the hospital with food poisoning!"

"Yeah, I'm calling bullshit Kakashi. You're getting awfully defensive about this subject. I can understand why you feel this way, you've never given it much thought before but its okay." He patted Kakashi on the shoulder. "We'll figure it out together."

"You're getting awfully cheeky." Sasuke grinned at him. "So getting off the subject of my apparent 'crush' on my self-proclaimed rival... the kid you like is energetic, obnoxious, loud..."

"Everything but the bowl cut and jumpsuit obsession." Kakashi sighed in relief. The world did not need another Maito Gai running around, specifically a miniature one. "You shouldn't be happy about this! You fucked me up royally!" Sasuke sighed, "I don't suppose you could come to the meeting in place of my parents right?" Kakashi shook his head. "I guess it couldn't hurt to ask. Oh shit! I just remembered something... Gai is a few months younger than you, right?" Kakashi nodded slowly; he did not like the way this conversation was going. Why couldn't Sasuke like someone like Asuma? He was around him just as much as Gai. A nice, laid-back, sane, nicotine addicted, occasional smartass was exactly what Sasuke needed not a miniature Gai.

"So I take it this guy you like is older?" Sasuke nods. "You're a second year so he must be a third year. Alright, I'm gonna level with you. During your suspension you and I are going to hang out and figure out how to deal with this, sound like a plan?" Sasuke eyed him suspiciously before nodding.

"Its cute the way you two bond." Sasuke glared at his brother's head in the doorway. Above Itachi's head was Obito's. "Your dad's getting antsy however he insists he's fine and can take you home whenever you're ready. What do you want me to tell him?"

"Tell him to take it easy, he just got off an eighteen hour flight going through three different time zones, I'll figure out a way home." He glanced at Obito. "Obito can drive me back."

"Actually..." Obito began, "Itachi will give you a lift." Itachi's eyebrows rose. "I'll relay the information." Nodding, Obito walked off.

Sakumo was too tired to argue so Kakashi was free to leave with Itachi and Obito tagged along since Itachi merely had a learner's permit and could not drive without a licensed driver – which in this case would be Obito. "What do you plan on doing about Sasuke?" Itachi asked as they came to a stop sign. Like everything else the twenty-year-old tried he was good at it, even with minimal amounts of practice. Kakashi and Sasuke might have been similar but he also had several things in common with Itachi too.

"I don't know yet. Its not something I can plan ahead, I need to play it by ear." Kakashi watched Itachi narrow his eyes. Itachi, like any older brother, did enjoy teasing/harassing his little brother but he was still very – more like super – overprotective of Sasuke. It was no surprise he tried to stop Sasuke from fighting (especially if he was losing) but Kakashi's curiosity spiked trying to figure out how Itachi got those injuries. Kakashi didn't know the twenty-year-old's state of mind after receiving a head injury but even if he was one hundred percent he wouldn't dare tell Itachi about his little brother's crush; they were driving after all.

It was morning when he left his house and by the time he returned it was the early evening. The drive back took three hours like the drive going. Kakashi thanked Itachi for the ride then entered his house and was greeted by his dogs attempting to climb his legs. If he had known he was going to be practically kicked out he would have drank more than just two damn glasses of wine. Shrugging, he attended to his dogs then retired for the evening. His father would be back in the morning (or afternoon) which meant Gai would be there too.

When Kakashi awoke it was to the sight of his dog, Pakkun, in front of his face just staring at him. The white-haired man slowly rose from his bed seeing his other seven dogs on or around his bed either asleep or just laying down. It was a surprise that he wasn't awoken to the sound of his phone going off with a call or text from Gai – like yesterday. Come to think of it he didn't hear from Gai since he left the dojo. What Sasuke said was starting to get to him. Did he like Gai? Obviously, he wouldn't be around him so much if he didn't but to like him in a romantic way? It couldn't be. Kakashi had to admit he became super aware of Gai over the past fourteen years but to have some school grade crush on him? Was it even possible? He knew Gai for as many years as Sasuke was alive and there weren't any other people he knew that long to even begin to talk about something like this. Well, the only person was Asuma but he couldn't talk to him about it because that jerk would just laugh with a knowing smirk or something. His phone rang and he picked it up from the nightstand staring at the face that popped up. Frowning slightly, he answered it. "Moshi moshi."

"Damn, someone sounds sorry to hear from me. Remember when I said I'd call when I got home?" Kakashi checked the time on his phone. It was nine in the morning and Asuma was with Kurenai since, like, noon! "Well I'm home. Obito told me Sasuke got into a fight with an upperclassman." Shit Obito had a big mouth. Oh wait, he knew Obito for a pretty long time so he was another option. "Before you get all pervy with me, I fell asleep at Kurenai's and, no, we did not have sex."

"I didn't have sex last night either but I wasn't going to tell you that." Asuma laughed on the other line. "So... I have a something I want to ask you. Sasuke brought it up yesterday and I've been thinking about it all night. Do you think its at all possible that I have a crush on Gai?"

"Gai? Maito Gai?! Oh no, please don't tell me this involves Sasuke's little incident yesterday? Did he pick a fight with the kid he likes or something and that kid is like a miniature Gai or something?" Well, no one could accuse Kakashi of being surrounded by idiots because he had soluble proof he spent a good amount of time around at least one smart person. "I get it. You and Sasuke similar tastes and this is making you question..." Kakashi held the phone away from his ear as Asuma barked with laughter. "Well shit! My answer is hell yes. I think you definitely are hot for him though Gai is the one that picks fights with you so it'll be a little backwards, won't it?" Kakashi knew this was a bad idea but there was virtually nothing about Kakashi that Asuma didn't already know. "Now you know I'm not really into gossip but when you get all the details you'd better tell me everything."

"Aye aye. Oh and in the state of backwardness, the kid's older than Sasuke." Asuma hummed again. "I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing before called. I told Sasuke I'd hang out with him during his suspension."

"Yeah, that's not a bad idea, I mean its not like you work or anything. So, I will call you later. Good luck with Sasuke, oh, and Gai too~" Before Kakashi could comment Asuma hung up.