AN: Okay, people. This is my first fanfiction and/or anything like it. I'm nervous. But flames and advice ARE welcome. Praise would be great. Emmett might sound odd because I'm keeping this pg rated. Please review. Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight-related. All songs also do not belong to me. Volvo brand doesn't belong to me or Snickers bars. *sighs* At least I have you guys!...not that I own you either.....
Chapter 1- Beyonce and Bella EmPOV
I groaned. Man, I was SO bored! Everyone had gone hunting and left without me. Without ME! How can they even live a SECOND without my fantastic jokes and singing?! I sure can't. I bet Bella wouldn't leave me when she is a vampire.
Bella! That's it! I'm gonna babysit the human! Hahaha, this will be fun. I jumped up and down, squealing. I couldn't wait! I clapped my hands together ecstatically.
Whoa, Emmett. Stop hanging out with Alice. I was disturbed at myself. I had squealed. I shuddered. Stupid annoying giraffe-hating pixie.
[at Bella's driveway]
I hoped Alice wouldn't tell Eddie that I was driving his Volvo. Well, drove. I smirked as I shut the driver's door, heading to the house. Beavers-build-a-dam! What if she told Eddie that I was going to tease the human?! I'd be dead! Well, I already am. DUH. Vampire. I smacked my forehead, as I slammed the front door of Bella's house open. I giggled. I could've had a V8!
I saw Bella jump a mile high, and I snickered, causing her to blush. Same old Bella. She put a hand over her frantic heart, not that it helped. I snorted.
"What are you doing here, Emmett?" She asked finally, her brow creasing in confusion. "What?" I gasped, pretending to be deeply offended. "Can a big brother not visit his sister? What kind of cruel, dark world is it when I have to call before visiting family"
Bella looked down, guilt etched in her face. "Sorry, Em." She murmured. "I thought you were here to prank me." She flushed. She mumbled an apology.
I wanted to laugh. She was so easily swayed. Man, she was gullible. It was almost too easy. "Now, why would I want to trick my little sister?" I questioned innocently. "Why the double-hockeysticks would I do that"
"Double-hockeysticks?" She laughed, giggling like a drunk hyena. Hmm...I wonder if Eddie would be REALLY upset if I gave Bells achohol. I shook off the thought. The pixie definitely would tell Edward. Ugh.
Bella cleared her throat and her face was expectant. Huh? Oh right! "Uh, well, I lost a bet." She laughed. "Now I can't cuss." I pouted. "How long?" She could barely speak through her snickers. Ooooh, yummy, a Snickers bar. Yum! I secretly LOVED those delicious pieces of heaven. I swear angels carved those things. I mean how else would-
"Emmett!!" Bella shouted, pulling me out of my train of thought. "Emmett, how long until you can swear again? Who'd you lose to"
"Stupid pixie." I mumbled. "She gave me a choice: no cussing or no Beyonce music. What was I to do?" She looked shocked.
"You. Chose. BEYONCE. Over. CUSSING! Oh my Go-"
"Golly gumdrops!" I interrupted. "Sorry. I can't hear or speak it. And using His name in vain counts"
"Wow." Was all she said. "Alice really got you good"
I grimaced. "I know. Stupid pixie." I sighed. "So...what do you wanna do, Bells?" I grew excited. "Wanna play Candyland? Do you? Do you? Puh-leeeaaase?" I pouted my bottom lip out and made my eyes really big.
Bella's face softened. Then she groaned. "I don't want to, Em. I'm in the middle of something. Sorry, but the world doesn't revolve around you"
It didn't? My face fell. Really? I can't believe Rose lied to me! Ugh! The world seriously didn't revolve around me? How depressing. Leave it to Bella, the logical smarta-um, smart...smart...smart alligator! Yup, smart alligator. Whew, that was a close one! Why is Bella waving her hand in front of me face?
"Jeez, Em. Get a grip. You look like someone ran over your puppy"
"WHAT!?" I roared, causing her to jump. "WHO THE HE...double-hockeysticks...RAN OVER MY PUPPY!? WHO EVEN BOUGHT ME A DA- darn -PUPPY!? WHO DID IT, BELLA!? Was it that TOTAL BI- ugh. Was it that total...billboard...Mike Newton? Or was it dear old Eddie? Or.....IT WAS YOU"
"What!?" She choked out.
"IT'S ALWAYS THE QUIET ONES, BELLA!! ALWAYS THE QUIET ONES!!" I was so beavers-build-a-dam angry! What gave her the right to kill the puppy she bought for me!? I growled.
"Emmy?" Bella asked, her voice trembling. Her brown eyes were really wide with fright. "It's an expression. There was never a puppy. It's a simile, a metaphor, and not literal"
I thought about that. "Oh." I grinned. "Oops." I cocked my head. I heard a radio playing my favorite song. I sang along. "'CAUSE YOU'RE HOT THEN YOU'RE COLD! YOU'RE YES THEN YOU'RE NO. YOU'RE IN THEN YOU'RE OUT. YOU'RE UP AND YOU'RE DOWN. YOU'RE WRONG WHEN IT'S RIGHT. IT'S BLACK AND IT'S WHITE"
Then song abruptly ended, and a new one played. I giggled, clapping excitedly. Beyonce! "If you like it you shoulda put a ring on it. Uh uh oh. Uh uh oh. If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it!" I wiggled my fingers while dancing. "Oh oh ohh!" I rocked my body side-to-side, and swung my arms to the beat. "All the single ladies! Now put your hands up!" I put my hands up. I wasn't going to ignore Beyonce! " Uh uh oh! If you like it you shoulda put a ring on it! YEAH"
The song ended, and I paused because of the commercials. Bella's jaw was dropped. "Holy S"
"Holy mackerel." I corrected. "Naughty Bella." I taunted.
"Oh my gumdrops." She whispered. "Is he on something illegal"
"NOPE!" I exclaimed happily. "I just LOOOOOOOOVE BEYONCE!" I pondered this. "She's not as hot as Rose is, though. But I don't have posters of Rose above my bed. But Rose is sexy..."
"EW!" Bella shrieked. "Emmett, that's gross. Come on, and shut up"
I shrugged. "Hey Bella!?" I asked, hyper. I had the BESTEST idea in the world! "What?" She asked warily, her eyes narrowing in suspicion and annoyance. I grinned evilly. "How about a trip to our house? Trust me, Eddie will appreciate it"
"Edward's there?" She asked hopefully as her heart rate sped up. "Uh, no." I admitted and her face fell. "But his things are"
"So?" She asked, confused.
"You'll see." I spoke ominously. "You'll see.
~ What do you think? Please review. Was that too long and random? Hmmm.... Please don't kill me! Sorry for the slowness. It IS the first chapter. It'll get better. So keep tuning in....or else.
Me: Emmett, you know what to do if they don't tune in.
Em: Hug them to death?
Me: ....sure, Em. Sure. *rolls eyes*
Em: YAY! I got it right!
Me: .
Em: So, review people!