Disclaimer: Oh yah right I don't own this show and...you know what im sick and tired of saying this. Come on you all know I don't own YYH because Yoshiro Togashi does. I mean if I did I wouldn't be writing these silly stories. I would be sipping on fine wine and sleeping on a water bed with silk sheets. So there. (sticks out tongue) Oh yah This is YAOI Y.A.O.I! If you don't know what that means then don't read and if you don't like it don't read it your just wasting your time.
I don't understand what could have gone wrong. Everything was embraces, warmth, and tenderness. I loved every moment of my life when we were together. Everyday we spent all our time wrapped in each others warm embrace. Laughter and Love was all that filled our ears. I miss the way you used to whisper loving words in my ear while we sat under the sakura trees. You were my first love and always will be. I remember the time we first shared our feelings with each other. You were soaking wet when you came through my window, but of course your gravity defying hair sat straight up. You looked so voluptuous and amiable. It took a lot of restraint not to just spill my feelings to you. The first thing you did was shake of the access water that was all over you. The water sprayed all over my room but I was to "preoccupied" to notice. I had already laid out clothes for you all neatly pressed and perfumed with my stepfathers expensive cologne. Only the very best for my fantasy lover. I knew the only way I could ever be with the little Jaganshi was in my dreams. I would just let myself drift into these illusive dreams. Everything I could ever want was right there. Hiei, Hiei, Hiei, and oh yes.....Hiei. While I was in my fantasy world Hiei was trying to get my attention. I noticed he had already dressed...darn I was hoping for a show. He had a scowl planted on his face. "Sorry, What is it Hiei?" I asked hoping he wasn't to angry about me ignoring him. Surprisingly a smirk grew on his face and he asked "So who are you fantasizing about?". I was shocked and speechless so it was hard for me to say anything rational. So I tried stuttering "What? I was not fantasizing about anyone?". He looked at me accusingly and said "Kurama first of all you were blushing madly, secondly you were staring off into the distance, and come on anyone can tell if a youko is in love". At first I was astonished that Hiei had said more then three words but then my mood quickly turned to anger. "Hiei! There is no way you can tell if a youko is in love! Your just saying that to get me frustrated!".
He then started to silently chuckle. I had never really heard Hiei laugh whole-heartily. It was so weird yet so exciting. When he had finished laughing he looked at me with warm eyes. "Kurama your eyes are flashing." He said. I ran to the bathroom to see this astonishing feature that Hiei had pointed out. Indeed just like he said my eyes were switching between green and gold. Does that really mean I was in love? I mean I didn't really know these things because even though the Youko and I share the same body we were totally different people. I suddenly remembered that Hiei knowing I was in love was going to ask who it was I was in love with. I couldn't just say "Hiei I love you, you are the one I was fantasizing about" It would be totally weird. Besides I knew that Hiei could never love a youko whore even though my human body was a virgin. It pained me too. Thinking this terrible thought. Tears started to well up in my eyes and my face started to flush. A small whimper escaped my lips. It must have been a fairly loud whimper too because at that moment Hiei came out of my room to where I was. I did not dare turn towards him in fear that he would think of me as a weak being. I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat when he asked "Kurama were you......crying?". I didn't answer. "Do you want to talk about it?" I could not believe this Hiei was asking me if I wanted to talk about my pathetic ningen love life with him? This was getting very awkward. "Hiei you and I both know you don't want to hear about my pathetic ningen life" I choked out. He looked at me with a hurt expression on his face. He started to get up and I realized he did want to help me. I grabbed his hand with my own and a sudden tremor ran through me. He sat back down. Our hands were still grasped tight. I looked deeply into his eyes and he stared back.
He was the first to speak "So what's wrong?" I had to tell him. I had to stop hiding my feelings. His eyes just wretched the truth out of me. "Hiei, I don know how to put this into other words.." he then cut me off to say "Whatever it is Kurama you can tell me" "...so I am just going to say it the only way I know" But then he interrupted again "Kurama I cant take it any longer I know what you were about to say ...that you love Botan, I understand....she's beautiful and fun but please just think about what I am about to say....I love you and I have never loved anyone like I love you and I know that you could never love me because I am so ..." His voice started to crack and tears started to drip from his eyes. "...the opposite of Botan and I know I can be a total jerk most of the time...I take that back, all of the time.....but I love you...." Tears were finally just flowing down his tanned cheeks. All the Things he had said were things I wanted to say for the longest time. His head was lowered and I could hear him sniffling and gently crying. I lifted a single finger to lift his face up and wiped the tears off of him. "Hiei....you took the words right from my mouth...well except for the whole Botan thing....but I love you too" Happy tears started to trail down my porcelain skin. Hiei stared at me then I didn't know what was going on. He had me flat on my back and was giving my neck butterfly kisses while attempting to remove my clothes. I sat up gently bringing him with me. I was not ready for this quite yet. He had to prove it was love and not just lust. "What? Isn't this what you have been fantasizing about?" he stated a bit agitated. "Yes and no, Of course I have had dreams of you and I locked in passionate love making but I would like to have a true relationship, I hope this doesn't change anything" He looked at me for a few seconds and then said "Of course I will respect your request but you need to do something for me" I was puzzled as to what he was going to say. "What do you wish of me?" I asked curiously. "You need to attempt to make yourself a little less desirable" He looked at me with humor in his eyes. "I see and how do you suppose I do that" I asked playfully. "I don't know its something your going to have to figure out" He then got up as did I and we walked over to my bed to just "cuddle". Hiei placed his arm under my waist and his other arm was still grasped firmly with my own. I placed my comforter over the two of us, securing us together. The thunder roared all around us and the raindrops pelted the windows creating a romantic atmosphere . That was my greatest memory of the two of us together. I knew that it was destiny for us to be together. I loved him more then life itself.
I still don't know where we went wrong. We had everything love, friendship, and an understanding of one another. There was no one who understood me better then Hiei and I think it was the same for him. It had almost been a year since our split up. It was all my fault. All I ever did was complain and worry which totally stressed out Hiei. It just started out as little arguments over silly things like him not being around enough. When he was gone I started going to clubs to keep my mind off of the hurt and loneliness I felt. I had also started a bit of a drinking problem . That was not the worst of it either. I regret everything that I did for it lost me the only person I really loved. I cheated on him. No I didn't even do it in secret. I did all of it in our bed. I was actually saving myself for him, But the Youko inside me had had enough of waiting and just took over. I don't know why I did it...maybe for company? Maybe for love? Or maybe I am just...a disgusting whore who cant even be loyal to the one I love....I hate myself for everything I have ever done. I can still remember the night he found me in bed with another man.
I had gotten drunk again and was being helped up the stairs of Hiei and my apartment building by a man who was just purely disgusting but when your drunk you don't really care who is on top of you. When we reached my door I dropped the keys and started giggling like an idiot. The man I don't even know what his name was picked them up and unlocked the door. He quickly found the bedroom and threw me onto the queen sized bed. He immediately started stripping me of my clothing until I was totally bare. He straddled my legs and pinned me down. I was very curious as to why he hadn't taken off any of his clothes. "What about you sweet thing aren't you going to strip for me.?" I asked as seductively as I could. He had a gruff English accent and his breath smelled of strong rum "Well beautiful this is going to be a quick thing and then I am out of here". I suddenly realized he wasn't going to make this gentle and was planning on raping me. I attempted to stand but was no match for his very manly strength. "Where do you think your going lovely?" He slurred at me. "I don't want to do this!" I shouted. He gave me a sadistic grin and then started to unbuckle his trousers. "So do you like it ruff or gentle cause I don't really care what you like cause I am going to do it however the hell I want to!" He started to laugh manically. I struggled under his weight attempting to get free, but again I failed miserably. He turned me over and I struggled more. He suddenly penetrated me. He did this numerous times resulting in me screaming and crying.
When he was almost spent I heard a voice behind us. Oh no Hiei.... "Hay Kurama I brought you a.....gift" The world around me was growing slower and the only thing I could hear was the shatter of glass as Hiei dropped the present he brought for me. The man penetrating me stopped instantly and jumped off. "Who the hell are you!?" the English man shouted at Hiei. "I'm Hiei who the hell are you and what are you doing to my boyfriend?!" His voice started to crack just like it had when we confessed our love. I could not see what was going on from my position but I could feel that Hiei was upset. "Oh him, oh well were just having a little fun, you know your boyfriend there is the best toy I've had in years". Hiei's sorrow then became rage. "You took my lovers virginity...and now you must die!" The English man then said the words that tore our relationship apart "Oh you've got it all wrong little man this guy over here has already been taken many times, he's known as the town whore". Hiei then sank down to his knees his voice became a whisper "How could I have led myself to believe that a slut like you Kurama could keep your virginity, I hope you liked the time we spent together because its over.." He got up and headed for the window he had entered through. With all the strength I had I ran to Hiei and grabbed his hand like I had so many times before. Tears flowed freely down my face and burned my warm cheeks. "Hiei please don't leave me I'm sorry! I'm sorry! None of it meant anything I only love you!" I shouted to him desperately. He turned around and slapped my hand away. "Keep your filthy hands to yourself!" He shouted angrily at me . "Please Hiei I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I would never hurt you!" He turned again. "Really Kurama is that why you willingly fucked all these filthy human drunks?! Kurama you are never going to change are you?! Your always going to be a dirty slut!" He then flitted off into the black night. I closed my eyes and cried profusely into my arms. I felt so dirty. I was sickened by myself. I was always going to be a dirty slut wasn't I . I was so tired. I drifted into a deep sleep and dreamt of Hiei and I kissing passionately under the sakura blossoms on a midsummer night. The wind playing gently with my hair and Hiei gazing lovingly at me. Then it was over as I was awakened by a pounding in my head. It must have been the hangover from last night. I remembered everything that had happened and I began to weep again. My lower half was in pain and my heart was breaking. I needed to talk to somebody so I cleaned myself and the mess up. There was only one person who could help me......................................................
"I am such an idiot" I cried out. The girls all looked at me with pity and listened to every word intently. I had invited Botan, Yukina, Keiko, and Shizuru over to my apartment to talk with me. "Kurama you need to take a deep breath ok" Botan said to me calmly. "I'm sorry to bring you girls into this but I really needed to talk to someone, I feel so disgusted with myself" I stated sadly. "Why did you do it Kurama?" Yukina asked calmly. It pained me even to look at her. Those same blood red eyes. So beautiful. Also if she knew that Hiei was her brother she would probably hate me for all eternity. "I don't know why I did it, I think it was because I was lonely and he was never around, I love him though you have to believe me, we were both saving ourselves for each other, but no I just couldn't do it because I am a dirty slut Youko" The tears were coming again and I was crying out every word. Botan put her hand on mine and said "Kurama you need to find and confront him with your feelings, and you need to beg for forgiveness." I looked up at her and felt my heart break "But what if he doesn't forgive me, Ill never see him again". Keiko then spoke "If he truly loves you Kurama then he will forgive you which I have a feeling he does" Every word she said made perfect sense . "Your right Keiko...I...I ...should talk to him Botan and ask him for forgiveness". Shizuru put out the cigarette she had been smoking and walked over to me. She pulled me up from my sitting position and said playfully "Wipe those tears you crybaby and lets all grab a bite to eat, my treat". I smiled at all of them "You girls are the best thank you". "Oh don't thank us, thank your friends Kuwabara and Yusuke, we have lots of practice with them" Keiko said jokingly. We all laughed and walked out of my apartment.
When we arrived at a local coffee shop I noticed something rather odd. Hiei was sitting with a strange woman in one of the booths and.....he...he was laughing. I couldn't believe my eyes. He then grabbed her hand and squeezed it lovingly. Was this to get back at me or was he truly in love with this ningen woman. A woman. I was in a state of shock. The girls looked from me to where I was looking. They all gasped. I guess Hiei heard them because he turned around. He glared at me and then turned back to his "date". I finally shook off my shock and ran out of the shop. I don't know where I was running to. I just wanted to get away from this. From him. He was actually laughing. I thought he only laughed with me. I was the only one who could make him laugh. Then at that moment I realized it was over but I knew I would always love him. When I was out of breath I noticed I had reached a park. I found a bench and sat down. I put my face into my hands and just cried freely. I then looked up and shouted to the sky "I'm sorry Hiei, I'm sorry I broke your heart, I'm sorry for everything" I felt a weight sit on the bench. I looked up and saw an old woman sitting there. I noticed she was blind because she had dark glasses on and a cane . "What's wrong child?" She said, she had a very grandmotherly voice and it was very reassuring. "Oh nothing miss" I stated. I really didn't want anyone to know about my problems too many knew already. "Child I may be blind but I can tell when someone is in need of some advice and reassurance, but if you would rather keep it to yourself then go ahead" She was right I couldn't just keep my pain inside. It would just eat me up. "Fine, I did something very wrong to a person I really love..." She then interrupted me "Is this your boyfriend were talking about?" How she knew was a mystery to me. "How did you...?" I questioned curiously. "Lucky guess". I started wondering if maybe she was a psychic but then did not think anything of it. "So go on with your story" She said. "Well like I said I hurt him, and I just want to take it all back , It was a mistake, I was just going to find him and beg for forgiveness but.....". I trailed off and a single tear slid down and cascaded to the ground. "...he was with another woman am I right?" she questioned. "Are you psychic miss?" I asked intent to know the truth. "No, I am just a poor old woman giving hurt young people like yourself advice so go on I wont interrupt". "Ok well, I don't know what to do now I'm so in love with him, this pain I have in my heart is unbearable and I know its all my fault but I just....I feel so helpless and I cant even bare to look him in the eyes again". It was silent for a couple minutes before the old woman spoke "Well it sounds like you truly care for this man and I think you should try everything you can to get him, this is similar to a situation I knew of between a young woman who cheated on her husband and they never apologized and something terrible happened and they never got the chance to say sorry or I love you so throw away your pride and find him child". She finished with a smile on her face. "Your right I have to try again I cant give up, he's my destiny, we were meant to be together I know it thank you very...." I didn't get to finish my thanks for she was already gone. The only proof of her being there was a brilliant black crystal rose with red water droplets on the leaves. I picked it up and placed it gently in my backpack.
I started to run back toward the coffee shop. It also started to rain. My heart was beating faster and faster from nervousness and hope. I just had to get him back or else I would not be able to live my life through. I don't think I could ever love again. No the little Jaganshi is the only one for me and nothing will ever change that. The rain was getting heavier and it was making me shiver from the cold. I was hoping, praying that Hiei had not left yet. When I finally reached the shop I tried for the handle but noticed it was locked. I dropped to my knees and the sat with my back against the wall. Maybe we weren't destined for each other, maybe this was punishment for all the bad things I have done in my life. The familiar tears came again and I buried my face into my knees and cried. It was ironic how the relationship started on a rainy day and ended on a rainy day. I slipped into another day dream with me and Hiei sharing a tender moment. The rain drizzled all around me but in my dream world I could only fell the love and warmth we shared.
A/N: (Crying) Oh right please read and review. (Crying some more)That was so sad. I wont put another chapter up unless I get more reviews. There may be another, BETTER, lemon scene in oncoming chapters so go ahead and tell me in your reviews if you want a more, BETTER, lemon scene. Oh and if you feel the need to flame me because you don't like yaoi then whatever I could care less so go ahead. All the other people who have yaoi stories with those two please give me the title of your story in the review.