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Disclaimer: I do not own pong. I think Atari does? Oh well. I'm not making any money off of this thing... it's just a joke. Please don't sue me.

Title: A Moment with Jeffery
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor/Parody
Warnings: Language, but that's about it.
Author: SchuMastermind
Email: schumastermind@hotmail.com

Author's Notes: I had no idea there was such a thing as "Pong Fanfiction" - until I stumbled upon the category late one Saturday night. This fanfic is basically an interview with the "Ball". So, sit back, relax, and listen to his story. XD
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Hello. My name is Jeffery. I am a ball.

No, I'm not a soccer ball, or a football, or a baseball... hell, I'm not even a moth ball. I'm a two dimensional, primitive sprite, and my life revolves around two amazing white guys.

Literally. They're both white - two long, white rectangles. John and Patrick.

Most people would just call us "Ball", "Paddle #1", and "Paddle #2". Come on. What kind of asshole names his kid "Paddle #1"? Have a heart people.

Anyway.

John, Pat, and I have been together for as long as I can remember. We wake up together, we sleep together, and we play together. Yes, at this point we might sound like the makings of a very interesting threesome. Three single bachelors under one roof. Ooo, how scandalous. However, that isn't the case at all. Allow me to explain.

When someone turns us on, the little game begins. I run over to Patrick and give him a good, playful smack. Soon after, he shoots me a love tap, sending me in John's direction (I never did understand why I'm always the one in the middle... I mean, why don't I ever get to be on the left? How about on the right? Damnit, why cant I be on top, huh?). John gets a piece. Pat gets a piece. We go at it for hours and hours, until we just cant play any longer.

I bet my day job sounds a lot more interesting than yours, now doesn't it?

We have a nice place... although it's a dark, if you ask me (It's Pat's fault, damnit. He's such a wannabe goth). Our bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, living room... everything's black. Yes, it gets annoying at times, but you learn to live with it. You wont believe how good your aim will get after you have to pee in the dark every single day of your life.

Most people just assume that's all I do - sit at home and play with my roommates. Does that sound normal to you? I mean, what kind of slob just sits around and plays with his roommates all day? I have hobbies, damnit. I even work the night shift sometimes. Yes, even though our usual game is very time consuming... we are active members of the community.

John often doubles as the cigarette in a 'no smoking' sign. I bet you didn't know that, huh? Hell, somebody's gotta do it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to stay completely still for hours and hours... just so a bunch of inconsiderate bastards remember not to smoke in that particular area?! John's one hell of a guy, man. Although... I must admit, I feel rather neglected. John loves his job. I hope he doesn't leave Pat and Me for that damn circle he works with...

Pat, well... he's a lazy fucker. He doesn't really do much, outside of smack me around. Not that I mind it. I'm dead sexy and I know it.

I'm a very active citizen. You don't believe me, do you? Well... have you ever used a public restroom? Imagine if you walked up to the men's room, and the little man icon didn't have a head. That's what the world would be like without me. Scary, huh?

Yeah, yeah... some people don't understand how three celebrities like John, Pat, and I have time for all that. In all honesty, people don't watch us play as much as they use to. Now a days, people have that fancy "Super Mario", "Final Fantasy", "Sonic the Hedgehog" crap... It's all just show. They cant work it like I can.

Next time you've got an urge... give us a call, okay? We might not be 64 bit... hell, we might not even be 8 bit half the time... but the love is real.





End.
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Yeah... that was kinda disturbing. Please review! I'll write more if people like what I'm doing. XD