A/N: This is going to be a series of one-shots that I'm making with some funny theories I've thought up about how the Minecraft mobs began...this episode: Endermen! Also, I don't own Minecraft or Mojang. (do I really need to tell everyone this?)

At the End, the Endermen were casually going about their business, talking to each other, practicing teleportation, and all that kind of junk until the Enderdragon came with news. "Endermen, I have an assignment for all of you. I need you to find out what...THIS IS!" He said as he over dramatically motioned to...a block of dirt. The Endermen let out collective oohs and ahs at the piece of dirt that somehow got there (don't ask me how). Afterward, they were wondering how to get this mysterious thing called...DIRT!

"I've heard that they're in the Nether," said an Enderman.

"Naw, dat's a rumor. Day're in the, uh... I forgot." This one's...well, you know,... slightly mentally impaired and all that...

"I know! We should ask the Player! Maybe he knows what it is."

"Yeah! Wait, 'ow can we ask 'im? He'll prob'ly run away."

"Oh, right...I know! Let's knock him out and FORCE him to talk to us! Then we'll know what that stuff is!"

"Sounds good to me! Let's go to 'is, uh, whatever it is and get 'im!

They immediately teleported out of the End and ended up right next to Steve's house. As soon as he saw the two Endermen, he stared at them with curiosity. You shouldn't have done that, Steve...

The next thing he knew, he was in the End, sitting on a chair (which just so happened to be tied up with chains). Then the first Enderman came and noticed Steve was awake. "Oh! You're finally awake! Now, tell us, what's THIS?!" He pointed to the block of dirt.

"You seriously brought me all the way to...whatever this place is...just to ask me what a BLOCK OF DIRT IS?!"

"Well, yeah. We kinda want to know what it is...so...What does it do?"

"It's a block of dirt. It just sits there. What did you think it did?"

"WOAH! COOL!"

Steve just facepalmed himself. Seriously? They're *this* interested with this? Wow.

The other Enderman chimed in. "Oh, can you tell me wut dis is?" He pointed to a block of diamond.

"That's a-wait a minute! Where did you get that block of diamond?"

"Oh, I uh..." *Flashback* "'Ey, wut's dis shiny blue ting? Nobody's lookin'..." "Well, I kindasortadidn'tmeantotakeitfromthatthingthatyouli vein!"

"WHAT!? YOU STOLE IT FROM MY HOUSE?!"

"Oh, DAT's wut it's called! I was wondering wut it was. But it doesn't look very valuable, so...I'm gonna throw it into the Void!"

Steve just now passed out. When the Enderman threw the diamond block away, the rest of them began bowing down to the dirt.

"O, mighty dirt! You are brown and dirty! You will be our protector forever and ever!"

-End-

A/N: So, what did you think? I'm entirely new to FanFiction (yep) and I could use some tips for writing fics. If you have any, PM me if you've got the time. Constructive criticism is appreciated; flames will be deleted (if I knew how to work this thing, anyway). Thanks for reading! -Lord Lizalfos