Weekly Oneshot #12: Forever Small

Clank never really had a problem with his size. From the day he was born, he stood at decent height of two foot, two inches, and there was nothing he could do about that. Of course, there were versions of him that could make him bigger, such as his giant form, but something was always...off when he was like that. It was like that him being a bigger robot didn't look good on him. He was a little two foot robot, that was who he was.

Of course, Clank was never actually supposed to be a large robot, his father, Orvus, made sure of that. He guessed that his father wanted him to be small so he could be near the same height as the king Zoni himself, as well as the other Zoni specimens. It probably wouldn't settle well with the other Zoni if their prince was the fifteen foot robot that he was originally supposed to be, and it probably wouldn't sit well with Sigmund either. So, Orvus had it arranged for his son to be the size his race's creatures, giving Clank the small body that he owned.

The two foot tall Clank's size had its ups and downs. On the upside, Clank could fit in spaces that none of his friends could get into, which proved to be very helpful on missions (it also made him a whiz at hide-and-seek). He was also small enough to be carried around easily, which helped Ratchet a lot. Also, though it was just a little theory of his, Clank's tiny size had a somewhat adorable charm to it, one that females tended to be fond of. But, there were still the downsides of being small. His size rendered his defenses to be useless, so Clank could barely take a hit. Also, though it's an obvious one, he had extreme difficulty reaching things that were out of his reach, which was nearly everything, he basically had to climb in order to grab something that he needed. And, though this one was more of a sadder one, people tend to feel superior over Clank because of his tiny size, so he was sometimes picked on by people who were way bigger than him.

However, the main disadvantage to being small was exclusive to Clank. He could deal with climbing and defenses and bullies, but there was one thing that he absolutely despised about his size. And that one thing, that one unbearable downside...was Ratchet teasing him that really made his gears grind.

Ratchet had always accepted Clank's short size, and even occasionally called the robot his "little buddy." Clank actually liked that name, but he realized how much he actually hated it when Ratchet started exploiting the "short" part. The Lombax would always tease Clank without openly saying anything about his size. For example, Ratchet would sometimes take something of Clank's and put it up on a shelf so the robot couldn't reach it. And once he realized that Clank could climb up the shelves, he started putting them on top of the refrigerator, much to his friend's dismay.

The Lombax would always tease Clank about his size with a variety of different things, like holding a can of oil right out of his reach, holding the robot upside down, knowing that Clank couldn't free himself due to his short arms, and even folding in the bot's limb and putting him in the bookshelf (that one Ratchet found to be the most hilarious). Ratchet would have his days of teasing his best friend, and, unfortunately, today was one of those days.

Clank was sitting comfortably on the couch, watching his favorite channel, which of course was the science channel. Ratchet was currently in the bedroom, cleaning it up for once (Clank made him), so the robot got the TV all to himself. He hardly ever got to watch his science shows anymore because Ratchet didn't like them, he said that they were both boring and confusing. But, since the Lombax was busy, Clank was allowed to watch whatever science show he desired until his friend was done. And, according to Ratchet's record of time he spent cleaning, Clank might have the television for the whole day. He could spend all afternoon watching the essentials of particle movement.

Ratchet sighed as he picked up a dirty shirt and placed it inside the clothes hamper. He hated cleaning up his room, he really, really did. However, it was taking him less amount of time to finish than he had anticipated. He only had a few more dirty clothes to put away until he was done. The power of boredom was strong in this Lombax, so much so that he had managed to complete his boring task at a much faster pace. He wanted to get the lame stuff behind him and move on to the fun stuff. And by fun stuff, he meant watching TV.

So, Ratchet quickly picked up the rest of the dirty laundry and shoved it into the hamper. Then he went around the room, adjusting something here and there, until his room was finally in acceptable condition. Happy and relieved that he was now done, Ratchet took a moment to stretch, and then he opened door to the bedroom, gladly exiting it and walking out to the hallway. He journeyed out into the living room and took a peek at what was on the television. His shoulders dropped and a frown came onto his face as he saw the last thing that he wanted to see on the TV. The most boring, uninteresting, and confusing channel ever to come to the TV network: the science channel. The Lombax placed his hands on his waist and shook his head, there was no way that he was watching some nerd show. And speaking of nerds, Clank's eyes were glowing bright as he watched the program, which explained why the channel was on in the first place. However, Ratchet still refused to watch as well, and he was going to turn it off whether Clank was watching or not.

The Lombax walked over to the couch, where he caught Clank's attention. The little robot looked surprise to see him.

"Oh! Hello, Ratchet. Are you finished cleaning your room already?" Clank asked.

"Yeah, I am. And I came out here in hopes that I could watch something on TV. Something that wasn't...nerd stuff. Give me the remote, I'm changing the channel," Ratchet replied, holding out his hand.

Clank shook his head and grabbed the remote, "I am not letting you turn this off, I am watching it."

"Don't care, it's lame, and I'm gonna turn something else on."

Ratchet took the remote out of Clank's hands, which made the robot yelp in protest, "Hey, give me that back!"

Clank attempted to grab the remote back, but Ratchet kept pushing him away. But the little robot didn't plan on giving up so easily. He actually tried to jump up on the Lombax and grab the remote, but Ratchet already saw that coming, and blocked his friend with his arm. Clank reached for the remote, but Ratchet just kept pushing him away. Though he kept getting closer at the Lombax struggled, which made said Lombax worried. He really didn't want to watch Clank's nerd shows. But he couldn't hold the bot off for long like this. There had to be a solution, something that will hold Clank off for as long as he wanted. He was small, so it shouldn't be so hard to think of something...!

Ratchet's idea came to him faster than his question. As Clank continued to fight for the remote, in one swift move, Ratchet pushed the robot down onto the couch. Clank landed on his stomach on the middle cushion, which was perfect. Before the Zoni could get up, the Lombax quickly sat down on his back, pinning him to the couch. Clank yelped in surprise as he was sat on, and, after taking a moment to process the situation, he started squirming a bit. He looked up at Ratchet with an angry look.

"Ratchet! Get off of me!"

"Um...let me think about it...no," The Lombax replied with a small snicker. That just made Clank angrier, and he squirmed even more, trying to free himself. But it was hard because his arms were also pinned, and he could hardly move them. So all the robot could do was struggle with frustration, which made Ratchet laugh. "Forget it Clank, I've got you. You're too small to do anything."

"Be quiet! I will find a way out!" Clank replied, getting a bit tired from struggling.

Ratchet laughed again, "You know what's great about this? One, I can finally turn off this boring, nerdy TV show without you trying to steal the remote. Two, I can basically do anything I want to you right now, and you can't do anything about it."

"How do you mean?"

"Well...I can do something like this."

Ratchet then started flicking Clank on the head, which annoyed the robot to no end. It was especially irritating when the Lombax flicked him on the area of where his nose would be. He didn't know why, but it just seemed even more intolerable. And the worst part was that Ratchet was right: there was nothing that he could do to stop him. All he could do was yell at the Lombax, "Ratchet, stop that! It is very annoying! And kindly get off of me!"

"My answer is the same as before, pal: no." He tried not to laugh as Clank let out a very irritated groan and squirmed some more. Sometimes being the bigger one really had its upsides. Now he wondered what else would drive the little robot insane? The answer came fairly quickly. He glanced down at the other side of the couch, there Clank's feet laid. Then he looked back at Clank's face, which had a lot of anger in it. "Aw, what? You don't like being flicked in the head?" A mischievous smile formed on his fuzzy face. "How about I do this instead?"

Clank had a worried look on his face, wondering what Ratchet was about to do. And he became even more worried when Ratchet's hands suddenly went to the other side of the couch. What was that Lombax going to do? Because he couldn't see what his friend was doing at the moment, it was a mystery to him. But he got the idea when he suddenly felt something tickling his feet. The little robot burst out laughing as Ratchet held down his legs and ruthlessly tickled his little metal feet. Then he started squirming a lot more, trying to get his legs free from Ratchet's hand. "Hehehehehe! R-Ratchet! Stop it!"

"Awww, is my little pal a tiny bit ticklish?" Ratchet teased.

"Yes! Hehehehehe! I am ticklish, you know that!"

"Heck yeah I do," the Lombax said. "And, boy, do I enjoy holding it over your head!"

As Ratchet talked, the laughter weakened Clank squirmed as much as his body would let him, so much so that he actually managed to free his right arm. Realizing the opportunity he had with his free hand, the robot quickly took advantage of the distracted Ratchet and grabbed the remote. Then he threw it at the Lombax's head, forcing Ratchet to stop tickling Clank and place a hand on the back of his head.

"Ow! What in the world did-HEY!"

Clank used his free hand to free his other hand, and then pushed himself out from underneath Ratchet. He landed on the other side of the couch and quickly scooted away from the Lombax, knowing that his friend will be mad. Sure enough, Ratchet was sending a glare his way.

"What the heck, Clank? That hurt!"

"I am sorry, Ratchet, but I knew that it was the only way that I could get a chance to escape. I did not appreciate you putting your rear on me!"

"I was going to get off of you, you didn't have to throw stuff at me!"

"And you do not have to use my size to your advantage, but you do it anyway!" Clank said, now sounding angry.

"I only tease you about your size because I think it's funny...though, now I think about it, maybe sitting on you was going a bit overboard..."

"Yes it was..." the little robot held one of his feet. "And so was the tickling and flicking."

"Oh, come on! It wasn't that bad! You were trapped and your head and your feet were wide open! It was a golden opportunity!" Clank folded his arms and gave Ratchet an angry look. The Lombax sighed. "Okay, fine, I'm sorry."

"About...?"

"Ugh! I'm sorry about sitting on you, and flicking you, and tickling you, and teasing you about your size. But, in my defense, I'm practically your big brother, so I have the right to give you a hard time about your size."

"No you do not!" Clank said.

"I'm just sayin...besides, maybe being small can work as a different advantage for me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, if you weren't the little robot that you are right now, I couldn't do this!" Ratchet picked Clank up and placed him on top of his head, making the robot grab his aviator cap for dear life. But he found himself giggling in amusement as the Lombax walked around the apartment with him on top of his head. He had to admit that sitting on Ratchet's head was very amusing. It was like riding an actual living kiddie ride. Ratchet laughed, then he grabbed Clank again and held him out in front of him. "I also couldn't hold you like this, you wouldn't have your upgrades so we could fly around and stuff, and I also couldn't pull you into that protective hug where I pull off a deadly glare that says, 'you touch this robot, you die. I'll shoot you with my RYNO'."

"Hehehehe! Yes, well...I guess that being this small does have its advantages...for me at least."

"Heh-heh, yeah...you know, I can't remember the reason why I sat on you and why we're talking about your small size in the first place."

"It was because that I wanted to watch the science channel and you did not," Clank replied.

"Oh yeah, that's right...that remote is mine! Anyone who opposes will be sat on!" Ratchet said, putting Clank on the ground and rushing for the remote.

Clank giggled and shook his head. And, as he himself ran for ownership of the remote, thought to himself, 'I am small, so he will go easy on me. And who knows? Maybe I will end up sitting on him! Hehehehe!'

Ah, Clank's size...it's one of the things that makes him so freaking adorable.

Okay, so this Weekly Oneshot came extremely late, but that's because Wednesday's update slot was taken by the first chapter of my new Ratchet and Clank story: Galaxy Art Online. Check it out when you get a chance! Next chapter should be up tomorrow!

Also, my Ratchet plushie came in the mail! Now I have Ratchet AND Clank in plushie form! AH! They're both so cuddly! (Hope that doesn't sound weird).

Make sure to leave a review while picking up your complimentary toaster!

This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!