I tried! I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth... and the other guy spit it out!
He's been awake since they got back, couldn't sleep. Didn't need it, sixty years was already enough.
Banner's confession has been on loop through his mind for at least an hour, now. But everyone, including the good doctor, are asleep. So he sits on a bed in one of Stark Tower's guest bedrooms, legs crossed at the ankles, arms folded over his chest and head tipped back to stare at the ceiling.
He's lost men before. But he's never had a solider try to kill themselves. War was a time where men couldn't afford to do it, a suicide in a barrack would just look like an assassination.
Except, he's not really sure if what Dr. Banner did was suicide, or a sacrifice. Because, he knows about those, has done them far too many times for one man to do, really. Bruce's situation, to him anyway, sounds like a sacrifice. He turns into a creature that hurts things - The Hulk - but he doesn't want to hurt things. And he can't exactly pick and choose when he changes, so how else does he stop himself?
Sacrifice Bruce Banner to kill the Hulk. But, Steve doesn't like that idea, doesn't like the idea of Bruce dying, because, really, Banner keeps the team together. Bruce'd disagree until the world ended, but it's true.
If they lost Bruce, they'd lose the Avengers.
Bruce is always willing to, truthfully, help Steve and Thor with modern times. When Natasha wishes to read in peace she always sneaks into Banner's lab, the classical music and smell of his herbal teas soothe her. When Tony needs to talk science and not feel like the only smart person in a room, Bruce is there, arguing theories and discussing hypothesis'. When Clint returns from a mission with blood pouring from his shoulder and at least three broken bones, Bruce is the only doctor - even though he argues he's not a medical doctor - that Clint will let near him.
He glances at the analog clock now, placed in his room specially by Stark, it's been ten minutes since he last checked. A sigh escapes the blonde's lips, no one should be up for another few hours..
Back in his thoughts of Doctors and Death, Steve realizes that if Bruce died, they'd all probably die with him.