"Who was she?"
The Doctor remained silent for a moment, watching as the coffin was lowered into the ground.
"Clara," he said hoarsely, emotion bubbling in his throat. "Her name was Clara."
His companion's eyes softened a great deal as they gazed upon the Time Lord.
He loved her, she said to herself. Perhaps romantically, perhaps not, but he loved her nonetheless.
She watched him as they stood on the outskirts of crowd, as if he had no place among the mourners who gathered there.
He should be in the very front of that crowd, she thought, crying his very soul out, yet here he is. Why?
She looked up at his solemn face, eyes slightly red with the tears he shed, the tears she would never mention. She examined his eyes, looking for what he was feeling. Funny thing about eyes, they always seem to give you away. She looked into those deep pools of blue and saw many things: sorrow, pain, regret, guilt-
He feels guilty, she realized, he feels guilty because he couldn't save her.
Slowly, carefully, Katrina slipped her hand into his, giving a gentle squeeze of reassurance.
It's not your fault, she thought, hoping he would understand, it's not your fault she died. Everything, everybody has their time, hers was up, you couldn't do anything about that.
They stood there for a moment, sobs and cries filling the air as they covered the coffin, as they buried Clara.
"Thank you," he choked out, not able to tear his eyes from his former companion's final resting spot.
"Always," his current companion replied, leaning against his side.
He smiled gently, which in turn made Katrina smile.
She saw children come and go, laying flowers on her grave, some openly sobbing, others barely holding back the tears. One girl turned, eyes widening as she noticed the Doctor, yet she never called out his name or ran to him, she simply gave him a sad smile, and laid her flowers on the grave before turning to her classmates, tears in her eyes.
Soon she had to go, like all the others, but not without a long glance towards the Doctor.
Katrina didn't bother to ask who she was. It didn't matter.
"Let's go," the Doctor said after awhile, "Dave needs to be alone with his daughter."
Katrina nodded, glancing to the man who stood over two graves, burying his face in his hands. She turned and walked with the Doctor to the blue box which sat beneath a massive tree, their hands clasped together the whole time.
The doors opened by themselves. Perhaps the old girl felt that was the least she could do at the moment.
He walked over to the console, dropping her hand as they passed through the doors. Distracting himself as he flipped a few switches.
Katrina wanted to tell him she was here for him, that she wasn't going anywhere, but it wasn't true. She was a ghost to him. They all were, he would blink and she would be gone, faded into the past. She would die eventually; either on an adventure with him, or of old age.
She almost wished for the former, the rush of adrenaline, dying in the heat of the moment. It seemed better than withering away. Who wants to grow old anyway?
But for his sake? Katrina wished the former, it would hurt him, yes, but not as much as watching her die as she ran with him.
How many people have died under his watch? Too many; too many to count, too many to remember.
Katrina lingered at the doors of the TARDIS, one of her hands resting on the railing fingers barely curled around the cool metal. She wasn't quite sure if she should approach him or if she should give the Time Lord his space. They both stood in their spots, not saying a word.
"You never mentioned her," she said after a moment. "What was she like?"
The Doctor didn't answer and Katrina mentally kicked herself. Of course he didn't want to talk about Clara, especially not today.
"I'm sorry," she apologized, lowering her gaze to her feet, "It was stupid. You don't have to tell me-"
"No," the Doctor said, causing her to look up. "Its fine." He smiled at her sadly, she smiled back. Katrina stood there, perfectly still, enjoying the breeze that had found its way into the TARDIS through the still open doors.
"She was smart, and beautiful," the Doctor started, causing Katrina's smile to grow. "Now that I think about it, she was a lot like you."
Katrina lowered her gaze, a shy smile on her lips.
"She was small, about your height, but she was one of the most intimidating things I have ever encountered when she was angry."
Katrina raised her eyebrows in question, a challenging quirk about her lips.
"I said 'one of'!" the Doctor cried, raising his hands in surrender. Katrina laughed gently.
"She was kind, and stubborn," the Doctor smiled, "Oh she was stubborn."
"Sounds like quite the force to be reckoned with," Katrina said, smiling.
"She was," the Doctor said. "Her eyes were humongous!" He waved his hands around as he talked trying to add extra emphasis to his words. "They inflated more than yours do!"
Katrina smiled, "That's saying something."
"You should have seen them! Her face was so wide she needed three mirrors!" The Doctor chuckled to himself as if he was laughing at some joke that had faded long ago.
"She was clever," the Doctor continued a sad smile on his lips, "Ever so clever."
Katrina decided not to mention her own cleverness, deciding that her pride would have to wait.
"Her heart was the size of London," he said looking to Katrina. "She loved with all her heart."
Katrina smiled, eyes twinkling, glad that the Doctor decided to share. "What did she do for a living?" Katrina asked, curious of what the Doctor's former companion did.
He smiled, "She was a teacher."
"What did she teach?"
"English," the Time Lord answered. "Did you know that she and Jane Austen would have prank wars?"
Katrina laughed, "Really?"
The Doctor nodded, "Oh yes. It was hilarious to watch."
"I bet it was." Katrina closed her eyes briefly, loving the way the wind was ever so gently weaving through her hair. When she opened them, the Doctor was smiling at her gently, still standing at the console.
"She sounds like she was amazing," Katrina said, wishing that she and Clara could have met.
"She was," the Doctor confirmed. "You and Clara would have gotten along well with each other." He was silent for a moment, as if thinking of things to say. "Did I mention she was brave?" he asked finally.
Katrina shook her head.
"Well she was." He took a deep breath, looking away from Katrina. "She was so very brave, even in the end." His voice cracked a little at the end.
He didn't continue and Katrina took a deep breath, closing her eyes, silently saying goodbye to both Clara and the gentle breeze that was oh so comfortable. With a snap of her fingers, Katrina closed the TARDIS doors, yet she still didn't walk over to that Doctor, trying to bite back her curiosity, but she couldn't. She worked up the courage to ask her next question as she walked slowly over to the Time Lord.
"How long?" Katrina asked, taking a final step towards the Doctor, fingers brushing the TARDIS console. "How long did you run from this?"
"I'm sorry?"
"How long did you run from her? I've been with you in the TARDIS for three months now, and obviously you ran before me. How long did you run from this day? How long did you run before you could face this day, before you could face Clara one last time?"
"I don't know," he answered, swallowing thickly. "It was all just a blur. I threw myself at anything the peaked my interest. I was running blindly until I met-"
"Until you met me," Katrina finished.
"Katrina, I need to say something to you, something important and I need you to listen."
Katrina nodded, "Okay."
"I wish I could say I could protect you," the Doctor started, looking to Katrina. "I wish I could promise that you would be safe, but I would be lying."
"Doctor-"
"No," he said, walking towards her. "Please just listen. It's dangerous out there. There are monsters and aliens and the things of nightmares out there and we're bound to encounter more than a few."
The Doctor took a breath, closing his eyes briefly.
"I need you to know that I can't save you, not all the time."
"It's not your fault that she died," Katrina told him, "Everyone dies Doctor, you can't save them all, even if you tried, no one can."
"I know, but I need you to listen to me, to do as I say, not all the time because I can be an idiot, but just listen. Don't try to be me. Don't be reckless. Don't think you can pretend to be me, don't think you can be the Doctor, it's a fatal a game, Katrina."
The human smiled, "I don't want to be you. You're wonderful, but your so very sad and angry and so old. You make decisions no one should have to make. I don't want to be you."
"Good," he said, turning away from her, "glad that's cleared up."
"But," Katrina continued, "I wont promise not to be a Doctor."
He turned, brows furrowed, slightly confused. "I don't understand. I thought we just-"
"Maybe not the Doctor, but a Doctor. You're so busy saving the world, that sometimes you forget someone needs to save you."
The Doctor surged forward, placing his hands on her shoulders.
"It's not your job to save me," he said with such emotion it was almost fierce.
"I know," Katrina said, "just like it's not your job to run around saving the universe, but you do because you care. That's the problem with people like us, we care."
"I don't want you to get hurt because of me," he confessed, closing his eyes. "Not you, please, just not you."
Katrina smiled sadly, placing her hand on his face.
"You daft old man," she said quietly. "You already hurt me."
His eyes widened, starting to protest.
"The way you cry at night when you think I'm asleep, and it echoes across the TARDIS. That hurts me. The way you say something about a certain place or person and a sadness passes through your eyes like nothing I've ever seen before, that hurts me. The way that you've experienced so much pain and heartache and you're running so fast, hoping it never catches up to you; that hurts me."
She smiled sadly up at him, "I care, Doctor. Caring hurts, it always has, it always will. I cannot tell you what I will do or what I become, but I promise to care, always to care."
"What did I do to deserve you?" He asked quietly, looking down at the human in awe.
"Nothing," she answered, "and everything."
The Doctor smiled "That makes sense."
Katrina shrugged, a smile tugging on her lips, "I try."
"So, the Squalsains are cross with this face at the moment," the Doctor started, spinning around to fiddle with the TARDIS console, "but I was thinking that a quick stop at the Balaska Falls wouldn't cause too much commotion. Most beautiful water fall in the universe, if water falling off a cliff is beautiful, but anyways..."
Katrina stopped listening, her smile growing as she watched the Time Lord fly the TARDIS. She doesn't know who she'll become. She doesn't know what she'll do. She doesn't know when she'll die, but if she cares maybe it'll be alright. And maybe, just maybe, if she's very lucky, she'll be half the woman Clara Oswald was.
A/N:
Just a quick little one-shot I wrote. Tell me what you think! I suppose if I get motivated, I could write a series of one-shots about the Doctor remembering Clara or mourning her. Tell me if you want me to . . . GAH, I think I'm going to write another one where the Doctor attends Clara's funeral alone. I don't know. I miss Clara so much...
Katrina's an OC of mine. I'm working on a different story, so you might see more of her. Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while, life's been busy. I'm currently still rewriting Of Angels and Demons, I almost have it done, but there's this one part that make me want to bang my head against a wall, but that's a different story for a different time...
Reviews are the food for a writers soul!
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or its characters. All I own is my OC...