DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these Marvel characters
Steve awoke with a awful start. He sat stick straight up in bed breathing heavily and shaking. The nightmare had woken him up again. He could never sleep after a mission, for two reasons mainly. For the fact that his body ached from all the injuries he had sustained, and for the even worse fact that he had bad dreams. They haunted him every night for a week or so after a mission ended. They were terrible, mainly because they entailed Bucky, and Steve could not bare to lose his best friend and lover again. He had already lost Bucky once, and the idea of him going away again, permanently, scared the shit out of Steve.
Wiping the thoughts of Bucky out of his mind, Steve slowly stretched, careful not to wake the sleeping figure besides him. Steve then made his way out of bed and reached for the first thing on the floor he came upon, a tattered blood stained shirt from the mission the day before. Steve pulled it over his head and sighed. 'Well' he thought to himself 'i'm not going to be able to go back to sleep now.' So he grabbed a pencil, eraser, and his sketchbook and headed up to the roof.
Steve walked through the quite halls of Avenger's tower and made his way to the elevator. He waited patiently for the doors to open after pressing the up button. When the doors opened someone else was inside. "Wanda" Steve said in a slightly shocked tone. "Hello Steve" she said calmly with a sleep laden voice. "What are you doing up in the middle of the night? You look exhausted..." Steve trailed off as he saw the look on Wanda's face. "I could ask you the same thing" she said with a bit of viper in her tone. "I'm sorry" Steve said "I didn't mean to intrude..." "No worries" said Wanda. "To tell the truth I haven't been sleeping well since I lost Pietro. What about you?" "What?" asked Steve. "Why are you up..." prompted Wanda. Steve sighed "I haven't been sleeping well either." he said. "I was just headed up to the roof" Steve finished as he stepped inside of the elevator. "So was I" said Wanda as the elevator started to go up.
The doors opened when the pair reached the very top of Avenger's and the two made their way over to the ledge high above the rest of the city. They both sat down and sat in silence for a while. Steve was about to flip open his sketch book when he heard a sniff. He looked over and was shocked to see Wanda trying to hold back tears. "Wanda" said Steve quietly. Her head snapped to the side and she looked directly at Steve. "I'm fine" she murmured. "Doesn't look that way" said Steve. Wanda was about to argue with him when she saw the worry in Steve's eyes and that's when she broke down sobbing. "It's ok Wanda. I know this job can be...extremely exhausting and difficult. We can talk about it if you want..."
"It's just...my whole life Pietro has been the only family I really have known. After my parents died we stuck together like glue. We never let the other out of our sight. And now he is gone. And I have so much pent up rage that I don't know what to do with. I just feel like screaming until my lungs collapse, but I know that won't bring him back. Nothing will" she finished quietly. Steve thought for a moment. He know how she felt. He had watched Bucky die right in front of his eyes, and then he came back without a clue who Steve was.
"I guess all I can tell you Wanda is that, its ok to feel that way. When Bucky came back and didn't know who I was I wanted to murder every Hydra agent out there. But I knew that wouldn't do anything to make him remember, or bring the old Bucky back to me. I knew the old Bucky was gone for good. So what I did is that I went to this old boxing studio from my time and destroyed the place. It was old and abandoned so I just punched holes in the walls and tore apart sand bags. I knew destroying that place would never bring back the old Bucky or undo the pain he had been through, but it helped me feel better and move on. I think if you find a healthy way to expel your anger, you will feel a lot better."
Wanda nodded slowly her eyes down, and then ever so suddenly she leaned over and gave Steve a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you Steve." "No problem" Steve said as he blushed. "Why don't we get out of here, its damn freezing." Wanda nodded in agreement. They both entered back into the elevator and clicked their respected floors. When the doors opened for Steve to get out he stepped out and began to walk away. "Steve!" Wanda quickly called. Steve turned around slowly "Yeah Wanda?" "Thanks again" she said "And just try to remember that yeah the old Bucky may be gone forever, but you still have Bucky. He came back and he now remembers you. Your lucky..." she finished with a sad look in her eyes "Goodnight Steve." "Goodnight Wanda" Steve said his own tears now welling up. And with that, the doors closed.
Steve sighed cursing himself for not thinking earlier on. Steve still had Bucky, Pietro was forever gone. Steve just shook his head mentally kicking himself and made his way towards his and Bucky's room. He entered back into the room and pulled off the blood stained tattered shirt he was wearing and through it back on the floor. He crawled back into bead and wrapped his arms around Bucky.
"Steve" a sleep ridden voice murmured. "Hey Buck" Steve said in a shaky voice. "Whas wrong?" said Bucky sitting up and pulling Steve into his lap. And just like that Steve began to sob. Bucky was taken aback and just clutched onto Steve for dear life. "Shhhh its ok Stevie. Shhhhh Stevie, its going to be ok. Whatever happened its all going to be ok." Bucky ran a hand up and down Steve's back and eventually Steve's sobs slowed in little hick ups and less shallow breathing.
"Now" said Bucky lifting Steve's chin up so he could look into his lovers eyes "Whats wrong?" "Bad dreams" Steve said. Bucky didn't even have to ask another word. He just slowly laid Steve down and curled up next to him. "Whatever that damn dream was about, i'm here. and i'm with ya till the end of the line." Steve smiled at that and gave Bucky a slow kiss. Bucky just smiled into it and pulled Steve closer to him.
'This Bucky may not be the old Bucky' Steve thought 'But what's the difference really?'