I feel numb. It's hard being Ponyboy right now. Darry's changed for the worst, he's violent. I think something happened to him once he witnessed Dally get shot down, but he's been hurting me, physically. I always wondered how I would say this, and I guess it'll have to be this way. As you might expect no one knows, not even Soda. I want to tell him so bad, so that he can help me, but Darry threatens me. It might be easier to tell Soda if it weren't for the threats. Soda... I need his help the most right about now.