"I'll always think of you as the sun Alexander"
Hephaistion's words still haunted Alexander. He looked over to Roxana who was soundly asleep. He wanted an heir. That's why he did this. Quietly he got out of bed, crossing to the other side of the room where hours before, Roxana threw away Hephaistion's ring so violently. He picked it up and carefully examined it, afraid that it was harmed in any way. A slight feeling of relief passed over him when he realized that nothing was broken, and that the stone still shined through its violet colors. Putting it on, he walked over to Roxana's side of the mattress, kissing her.
"If only you were not a mere reflection of my mother's heart"
He put out the fire.
In complete darkness, he took his night gown and put it on while walking down the stairs. Downstairs he took his fur coat which hung on the wall and put it over his shoulders. He only wanted to see one person. Hephaistion.
Despite it being in the middle of the night, everyone else was still outside celebrating the wedding. Music was heard all the way from his doorsteps, while the loud voices and laughter's accompanied it. Among them was Hephaistion's.
Surprised and yet evenly concerned, Alexander made his way to the feast. As he arrived, the music stopped and everyone stood up. It was only after Alexander told them to go on, that the music was played again and everyone else returned to doing whatever they did before the interruption. Some were watching a strength contest, while others had drinking competitions. Groups were simply talking and laughing, whereas others were eating, singing, dancing as well as having intimate moments with others. Cassander was laughing with a handsome young man which was clearly part of the army, and shortly after that kissed him deeply, eventually returning to their laughter and merry moments. Other soldiers were carrying beautiful barbarian women around, laughing, as the wine did the trick.
"Alexander! Come here" Cleitus shouted, drunk enough to forget the differences between the king and his soldiers. "Come have a drink!" He said, handing Alexander a cup full of red wine. Alexander was clearly not in the mood. All he wanted was to find Hephaistion. It was seconds before his lips touched the cup, when he saw how Hephaistion was lying on pillows, having an intimate and passionate kiss with another young boy. As the kiss broke up. They returned to their conversation and laughter, which clearly showed that Hephaistion was drunk. Not many moments passed by before Hephaistion and the other young boy once again returned to their kiss. It was seconds after when they both realized that someone was standing in front of them, looking down on them. They broke up the kiss and looked up. Hephaistion's eyes portrayed nothing but shock while the young lad felt afraid after noticing how angered the king was. He got up from the pillows and returned to his friends, while Alexander was still looking down to Hephaistion.
"Hephaistion… what are you doing?" Alexander asked in bewilderment, his voice showing feelings of anger and sadness.
Disappointed Hephaistion watched as the young boy walked away. Not wanting to answer Alexander, he stood up, shaking at the beginning, but eventually succeeded at standing firmly in front of Alexander.
"Alexander, why are you here? Is everything alright?" he asked, trying to sound as formal as possible, knowing how drunk he actually was. It was rare. For Hephaistion to do such a thing, but all he needed at the moment was to forget. Forget that his beloved had spent the night with someone else. It wasn't the first time, but no matter how many repetitions there were, he felt death every time he imagined Alexander touching someone other than him.
"She is asleep. I came to find you." Alexander replied confused. "Let us take a walk." He said as he turned around. Hephaistion silently followed him.
Meanwhile, the soldiers who were watching the scene began laughing at Hephaistion's sight and yet pitied him already.
"There he goes, men" Ptolemy said, sipping his drink.
After a while of walking and cooling down their heads, the two young men found a quiet place which wasn't too far away from the feast. The music and voices were faint but could still be heard. Alexander sat on a rock and looked at Hephaistion who looked exhausted. His blue eyes seemed to have lost their shine.
"Sit down. You seem weak" Alexander softly said, clearly concerned. Hephaistion did as he was asked.
"Why did you bring me here?" Hephaistion asked uncomfortably. He just wanted to return to the meaningless feast where he could forget his feelings as he drowned himself in red wine and kisses with a boy he didn't have feeling for.
"What is wrong with you? It's not like you to get drunk to this extent" Alexander asked concerned.
"I just wanted to see you" he continued, looking at his beloved.
Hephaistion didn't answer. He quickly got over the wine, and slowly started to feel more in control. He was able to think clearer now, which made the want of tasting wine once again unbearable. He supported Alexander with everything, but even he felt hurt at times.
"I just want an heir. You know that, dear" Alexander said, as he slowly began to move closer to Hephaistion. Gently, he began caressing Hephaistion's cheek.
It was something only Alexander knew how to do. To make Hephaistion feel the warmth through such a gentle touch, that is. Hephaistion slowly started to sense the feeling of longing. He wanted Alexander more than anything.
"Forgive me. I have shamed myself." Hephaistion said. He felt how a lump started develop in his throat. "Forgive me." He repeated. It wasn't long till the tears slowly started to run down his cheek. "Forgive me, I can't be everything to you" he said frustrated. Usually he wouldn't have reacted in such a way, but he still wasn't fully over the wine.
Alexander's heart ached. He wanted Hephaistion to know what he meant to him. In his eyes too, tears began to form.
"But you are. You are everything to me. Hephaistion…" he said, trying to suppress his tears. He put his hand behind Hephaistion's neck and moved their foreheads together. "Everything." He repeated.
"You are my other half… You said that I was the sun. Understand my dear Hephaistion, that if I am the sun, then you are the moon. We both share the same sky, and how beautiful you illuminate it. How many have you guided in darkness? Myself included. For without you, I am nothing" Alexander said passionately as his voice fell and rose, revealing nothing but the truest of his feelings for his loved one.
Hearing Alexander say such things made Hephaistion give out a small cry, for it felt like a long time since he has felt as loved. With all the political issues going on, there wasn't time for anything else. All the loneliness and worthlessness he felt, were erased. What happened afterwards was something both of them wanted. Hephaistion pressed his lips so eagerly and yet so softly against Alexander's whilst strongly holding his hand. He missed him. They only felt complete when they were together, for nobody else knew the feelings of the other better than them. After a few minutes of exchanging passionate kisses, they halted to breathe. Jokingly, Hephaistion added "You take my breath away" which made Alexander laugh faintly.
"Alexander" Hephaistion began with his gentle voice. "I really do wish you a son" he said, looking him into his eyes.
"I know, dear." Alexander replied seriously. Taking his hand, gently kissing it, as he continued "Only your words are truthful. There shall never be any doubt between us." As he stared him in the eye, making Hephaistion smile faintly.
"We'll always be together." Hephaistion said before Alexander could continue.
A smile between the two followed.
It is a universally known fact that a man with great political significance, faces obstacles to balance his private as well as public life. Alexander however, no matter the causalities, didn't have to worry a lot about these matters. For Hephaistion, despite being the center of his private life, always made thing's easier. And if hardships did occur, then only because one part of the heart, longed for the other as to make it a complete, beating one.
Also, It is a universally known fact that hearts which beat in the same rhythm, are destined to continue do so, eternally.