A/N: I really wanted to try a new writing style, just to see how well I could do it. Plus, it's my first try on something angsty. I'm not 100% convinced I like it, but since I'm quite hard on myself I'll leave it up to you. It has not been beta'd as my girl's RL has been hectic but it's short enough I dont think I could've done too horribly. ;-)
I don't want to give too much away but be aware of angst. And as always, please let me know what you think of it and the writing style, thanks so much! *hugs*
Disclaimer: Do not own Twilight or the characters portrayed. All rights belong to Stephanie Meyer.
He doesn't think he can get any luckier. Lucky in love, he'd say.
"Bye Dad! Love you!" Bella waves back as she bounds down the front steps, her hand tightly clasped in his, pulling him along. She giggles as they run through the sprinkling rain. (I'm going to marry her someday.)
-~oOo~-
He brings their intertwined fingers to his lips kissing them lightly, his eyes lock with hers (God she's beautiful, so fucking beautiful.) His gaze moves back to the window, the rain is clapping down harder, making it difficult to see, but through the blurry glass he notices two red lights ahead. A truck is stalled less than twenty yards in front of them, his foot slams onto the break but the car doesn't stop. (Fuckfuckfuckfuck) It's hydroplaning straight for the truck. He does the only thing he can -
Swerve.
Spinning out of control-
The tires cry out-
squealing in protest.
The sound of busting glass-
crumpling metal fills the air.
The painful scream of the one he loves is the last thing he hears, and the one sound that will haunt him forever.
-~~oOo~~-
With a heart of gold, he loved more deeply than any man before him.
He can hear the rain beating down and voices murmuring outside of the car but he's not concerned with them. His body aches, his arms feel heavy and there's something warm (wet?) running over his eyes. Somehow, he finds the strength to open them slowly. His blurry gaze focuses on the palm of his hand-
smeared with blood.
In an instant, everything comes back.
(Nonono! Bella!)
Frantically he twists, reaching toward to passenger seat, his arms and back screaming out in pain. "Bella!"
She's (My beautiful girl, my angel) slumped against mangled door, her mahogany hair covered in red. He screams again, "Bella!"
He doesn't care about the pain. He (have to get to her, have to!) fights against it; the broken bones in his body mean less than nothing (don't care that it hurts - BellaBellaBella!)
Tearing off his seatbelt, he pushes away the airbag and crawls over the consol. (Blood is warm, skin is so cold) One arm wraps around her, the other carefully slides under her cheek. "Bella – Bells!" He wants to shake her, he wants more than anything for her eyes to open, to look up at him. (So scared. Too scared.)
"Please, please God, please!" He prays, and she moans softly. His heart races faster, (She's alive! Thankyou,thankyou,thankyou!)
Bella's eyes flutter open, her gorgeous chocolate brown orbs look up at him. How many times has he stared into those beautiful eyes and taken the life behind them for granted? (Never again.)
His hand brushes back her sticky (blood-soaked) hair, "I thought I lost you."
"Jake?" She rasps, her eyes squeeze shut in pain then open again. "Hurts."
"I know." His lips brush against her forehead, trying to console her. "I know, but someone will be here soon to help us, okay?"
She nods weakly, "Hold me…a little while?"
He squeezes her tighter, ignoring the pain shooting throughout his body, his head dropping down to her neck. "I'll never let you go, Bells."
(Need you so much)
He moves to kiss her, his warm lips forming against her cool ones. She whimpers against him. Every ounce of love he feels for her, he pours into that kiss (you're my everything – my one and only. I'll love you for as long as I live.)Their lips slide together in tandem, slow and sweet. The copper taste of blood bites at his tongue as he lays his forehead against hers.
"I'll always love you, Jake. Never forget that." Her voice is weaker, fading again.
Tears fall unabashedly down his cheeks as he pulls back to look at her, ice-cold terror flowing through him. Her breath is getting shallower and her eyes are fighting to stay opened.
"No!" (You can't do this to me!) Hysteria surfaces, "Stay with me! You have to stay with me!" (Don't leave me! You can't leave me!) This time he does shake her, the fear in his heart over powering his senses.
He leans forward, pressing his lips to hers. She doesn't respond. He kisses her harder and harder. Still, with no response. A strangled sob emits from his throat. He kisses her cheeks, her eyes, her forehead - every inch of her face.
(Whywhywhywhy)
He screams.
Heart-wrenching-
pain.
Horrifying-
anguish.
Inconsolable-
suffering.
All evident in his continuous cries for her.
-~~oOo~~-
He promises never to love again.
He kneels in front of her, his knees buried in the mud, his wet hair plastered to his cheeks and neck. The rain pounds harder against the canopy, (the goddamn rain! Pounding against the windshield - I couldn't see good enough! – All my fault – I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!)
He cries harder.
(I can't be without you.)
His friends try to pull him away from the casket.
He screams at them. All of them.
(The last time I'll ever get to see your beautiful face. The last time.)
Her father squeezes him on the shoulder and asks him to get up so they can bury his little girl.
(No, please no! I don't want her in the ground! She should be with me! Always with me!)
He realized hours later, after they tore Bella's limp body out of his arms and forced him on a gurney that he didn't tell her he loved her back. (Why didn't I tell her I loved her? My last words to her and – she needs to know!)
He stands, much to everyone's relief. He leans over her casket, taking in every last detail of her face. Her mahogany hair curls perfectly around her blushed cheeks, her slender nose, and her plump (kissable - God I'd give anything to kiss her again) lips.
"I love you too, Bells. Wait for me?"
The wind picks up outside but an unusually warm breeze floats around him.
Always, Jake.