Tongue In Cheek
by TwinEnigma
Standard Disclaimer - I do not own Young Justice or any of the characters therein. I do not do this for profit, but rather for fun and skills building.
NB: Done as a fill for the YJ-anon-meme, in which someone sarcastically asked for a stew of every cliche Wally!Whump prompt ever taken up to eleven (basically) in a fit of pique and I decided to give them everything they asked for... from a certain point of view. De-anoning for the hell of it.
Wally is wallowing in his misery when the doorbell rings.
It's an incredibly serious effort to move from his bed, schlump down the stairs and roll his eyes at his terrible parents who so obviously hate him and want him to suffer. Sadists, he thinks acidly.
Ah, it's Robin, his only true friend and /co/mrade. Surely, Robin will make him forget all about the horrible terrible circumstances of his awful life and provide at least some brain bleach for that traumatizing accidental goosing that Zoom gave him (which made him worry that maybe Zoom found him attractive and, in turn, deepened his woe).
"Please say you brought it," he says.
Robin, however, is distracted by the red slashes on his arms.
"Robin, please! I need it! I can't take this anymore!" he begs. "It's abuse, abuse I say! Parental neglect!"
"Wally... Is that ketchup?" Robin's expression is incredulous.
Wally gasps in horror. "No! Why would you ever think that?"
Robin just states at him a moment before going: "...Dude, seriously, you have a problem. And I'm not giving you any Wacdonald's. I swear that it has cocaine in it."
Wally starts to tear up. "Not you, too, Robin! You're my best friend! How could you?"
Gah, he can try again with Uncle Barry. He, at least, understands the glory of the deliciousness of Wacdonald's Meaty Meat Meal, even if the rest of these sadistic, speedster-starving plebeians don't.
AN: I REGRET NOTHING.