Doubts
Before her escape from prison in The third day – the frost, Ellie doubts whether she will able to face interrogation by the enemy.
Type of story: Missing Moment
Rated T, just in case.
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to John Marsden.
Note: Marcus Clarke's For the term of his natural life is a novel about the life of a convict in 18th century Australia. Available now for free online, as an out-of-copyright book!
They will come in the morning. And I am so afraid. This is not a book, like For the term of his natural life, where we read with admiration of the game hero – at least I did. This is about me, and I'm afraid. Not of facing a flogging, although of course I'm shaking in my boots with fear about that. But I'm more afraid of not being able to keep my mouth shut and denying the enemy the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
They took Homer yesterday. I had to watch. They dragged him out and tied him to the triangle. And suddenly, I remembered things I had never seen. Maybe some things are branded on an Aussie's psyche, and being tied up on a triangle is one of them. Homer didn't speak to me. He only looked at me, and his eyes said, If you cry Ellie, if you make the slightest sound, I'll never forgive you. And you'll never hear the last of it. I tell you, that was enough to make me shut my mouth and look on, my heart breaking. When it was over, they offered to carry him back, but Homer just gave a cocky grin and walked on his own.
But it was one thing to watch Homer take this punishment, and he did, brilliantly, and another to know that I will be next. Homer is big and strong. No. It's not that. Major Harvey is also big and strong, and tie him to the triangle and I'm sure he'll start yelling even before the first cut. Homer is strong, but it's got nothing to do with his size. It's all in the space between your ears, a teacher of mine used to say.
I get down on my knees, something I haven't done for a long time, and I pray. Not for my parents, even though they are what I live for. Not for my country, even though I am willing to die for it. I am praying for the strength to keep my mouth shut.
The dawn breaks and my eyes almost water at the thought of the hills and rivers of my country, which I will probably not see again. I am ready. They are coming.
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