Unasked Advice

NERV
Pilots´ Locker Room
After Synch Tests

After the synch tests for all the Evangelion Units at NERV Japan, the female pilots had gone to the showers immediately, to shower away the lingering LCL from their hair and bodies. Rei Ayanami was the first to get out of the showers, her short hair was easy to clean, while both her colleagues had longer hair, especially Soryu, and therefore took longer in the shower. The second to get out was Mari Illustious Makinami, the new pilot, assigned to Unit-05. Interestingly, the eccentric girl took little time to wash off the LCL; apparently, she actually liked its smell.

Finally, Asuka got back into the dressing room, her brow furrowed in annoyance, still toweling her hair vigorously, Mari had finished dressing, and was pulling up her black boots while humming a contagious beat. She was usually very fast, but this particular day, she was in a hurry.

"Hoy para mí es un día especial, ¡Hoy saldré por la noche! Pam, para, ¡pam! *" Mari Ilustrious Makinami sang happily, and, with a cute hip movement, closed the door of her locker.

"Bye, girls! I have a date!" she waved them goodbye, picked up her sports bag, and left the room. As she crossed the threshold, Asuka and Rei heard her almost ultrasonic happy squeak, "This is so exciting!"

Asuka huffed, annoyed by Mari´s happy humor; but held her tongue. At least until the other pilot was well away. Raising her arms, she exclaimed, "Arrgh! I can´t stand her!" Followed by a very inventive stream of german expelitives, that her colleague didn´t bother to follow. Although she might have learned a few new words had she paid attention.

"And to top it off, she´s going out with Baka Shinji!"

Rei looked sideways at her, while she changed into her usual school uniform. By the time Rei had put her shoes on, Asuka had displaced the target of her fury, squarely onto Shinji. Rei stood up, and calmly walked towards the volatile redhead.

Just when Asuka was really inspired to get into the second phase of her rant, Rei turned her around brusquely, grabbed Asuka´s blouse with both hands, lifted her with deceiving ease and slammed her against the lockers.

"Was?" she blurted, completely taken by surprise. Her feet found no purchase, and the grill on the locker door was digging into her back, painfully.

"Do I have your full attention, Soryu?" Rei asked tersely, tilting her head to a side, like she was studying Asuka. "Very well. It is enough. This whole situation is… unacceptable."

"Uh? What in the seven hells are you talking about, Wonder Girl?"

"Your attitude towards Shinji. It is unacceptable." Rei repeated, while the German redhead looked at her, amazed that the usually placid and indifferent First Child had her literally, hanging. Asuka took breath, and exploded into a new rant. "Shinji is an idiot who doesn´t know what´s good for him!"

Without any change in her features, Rei pulled Asuka a couple of inches away from the locker, and swiftly, put her back against it. The sudden movement put Asuka´s head in painful contact with the metal. Rei continued, while Asuka rubbed the point of impact. "True in part. Shinji is not an idiot, but he really doesn´t know better. Probably because he doesn´t realize you have been flirting with him."

Asuka was so dumbfounded she stopped struggling. "W-what?"

"Since your arrival to Tokyo-3, I have studied your behavior. And not only yours, also Shinji´s, and Mari´s; in fact, everybody in this school has been a source of data. My observations lead me to conclude that Makinami doesn´t pay as much attention to Shinji as he does towards her. Or like you to him, or him to you. At least, not when you three don´t know you are being watched."

"What are you talking about, Wonder Girl?"

"Shinji has little experience in social interactions. If he pays attention to Makinami is because she pays attention to him, in a non confrontational way. But, based on his behavior whenever he is near you, and yours near him, I have arrived to the conclusion that you might be a better prospect for a… Sorry, I´m not sure what could be the right term, let´s say… a closer involvement."

Asuka frowned. Rei´s words made a certain kind of sense. She was still processing that last tidbit when Rei continued.

"Makinami isn´t malicious. It is simply her way. She behaves the same towards any male who catches her attention, until she gets bored and leaves. It is Shinji´s turn. Eventually, Makinami will tire of him and leave him behind. She has no idea of what that could do to him. Tell me, Soryu, what do you think would happen to Shinji then?"

The german pilot reacted violently to this prediction. "And- and why don´t you do something about it? You like him, don´t you?"

"There are several reasons. First, I am even less experienced in social interactions, I am sure you have noticed that. Second, my relation to him is of a very different nature. I am fond of him, very fond. He was the first person to treat me like a person, not as a freak or a monster. He has shown me the world through his eyes, and it has been amazing to notice things you take for granted. In a way, I´ll be his apprentice for as long as I live. Third, there is no physical attraction between us; we both are passive in temperament. You and Makinami are both of a more active temperament. While Shinji and I would grow stagnant should we engage in a relationship, you two would be a good influence for each other; he would ground you, and you would push him to do better."

Rei continued. "You are jealous." She looked at Asuka with an intensity the demure First Child had never shown. Asuka looked away from those scarlet eyes. "The attraction between you and Shinji is not only clear, it is mutual. But he is afraid to offend you, so he keeps his distance or closes up in your presence. Have you seen him around Aida and Suzuhara? He behaves in a very relaxed way, you know. On the other hand, you are afraid of rejection; so you keep him at arm´s length, before he can get away."

Finally, Asuka gulped and asked, "Hypothetically, and assuming that your delightfully deranged theory is even a little bit accurate, what are you proposing?"

"First, no more personal attacks. Aknowledge Shinji´s merits. Sparingly at first. Otherwise he would think it´s a set up to humiliate him. Second, ask for his help for something small, trival even; and thank him, sincerely. No sarcasm or back-handed compliments. Third, confide in him to keep a litle secret, something you wouldn´t care if it gets known. That would show you trust in him at a personal level. That would be a good start. The rest, I don´t really know. You should ask Captain Katsuragi or Horaki for more data."

Asuka looked at her with suspicion. "And what do you get out of all this." Carefully, Rei put her back on the floor. "Two happy friends, if everything goes right." She kept silent for a few seconds. "My friends are important to me."

Back on terra firma, Asuka adjusted her clothes back into a presentable look, still glaring at Rei. "Very well. I´ll think about it. But remember, First Child, if you are playing some kind of sick game with me, you will regret it."

"Understood. Before we go, we must have a reckoning. My behavior was unacceptable. I allowed myself to act emotionally. It was unprofessional on my part. Slap me."

"Whaaat?"

"Unprovoked personal assault." Rei sat on a bench, closed her eyes, and waited.

A moment later, she felt Asuka´s hand on her cheek. Two little slaps, without any force behind. "Oh, no, Wonder Girl. If your idea works, then I would have to receive a slap from you to even things out. So, let´s say if your idea fails, then I will make you pay. Agreed?" Asuka poked Rei´s chest with a finger, underscoring her proposal.

Rei opened her eyes, surprised; and nodded.

Author´s Notes

Another scene I wrote without thinking much. I wondered just how Rei would act had she accepted Asuka´s offer of friendship. Sure, it wasn´t completely sincere on Asuka´s part, but she would never admit that.

On the other hand, had Shinji found a girl who was really interested in knowing him, well… that would have worked wonders for his self-esteem. And also made Asuka crazy with jealousy (and it did, clearly shown after Shinji´s enforced vacation time at Unit-01 Hotel).

A third party could have mediated between them and explained things to both.

(*) The song Mari is singing is "Mi Gran Noche" ("My Great Night"); sung by Raphael. The part she is singing here means "Today for me is a special day, I´ll go out tonight!" (The "Pam, para, ¡pam!" is just a series of onomatopeias), and the rest is the singer planning his big date with his girlfriend, but as it is sung in first person, it only requires minimal changes to work for a female singer. The song was used in the Mexican dub for a Simpsons episode, instead of the original song; it was the one where Bart got a crush on his babysitter; IIRC.