"Brittany, what are you saying."
"I'm saying…I'm saying I'm going to LA." The blonde dancer replied quietly.
Santana Lopez sat frozen on her bed, staring at her girlfriend. Those were not the words she'd expected to hear when Brittany had said she had something to tell her.
"I just, I need to figure out what I want. Figure out how to live on my own, ya know?" Brittany continued. "I mean, you've always been there, but this past year…I've changed. I don't know exactly what I want in life anymore."
"No, you don't know if you want me anymore." Santana finally spoke, voice tinged with bitterness.
"Santana, you know it's not like that." Brittany argued. "I just- UCLA offered me a scholarship. It's a good one. You know how much that means to me, especially after repeating this last year."
Santana swallowed the lump in her throat. "You got other offers. Offers that aren't across the country."
"I did." Brittany agreed. "But you know UCLA is my dream. I've wanted to go there…forever. I can't say no San."
"So what, is this…are you breaking up with me?" Santana demands, tears starting to leak from her eyes. She wipes them away furiously. This is definitely not the conversation she'd expected to have with Brittany tonight.
Two weeks before, Brittany had graduated. Santana had driven home in time to see it, then had to drive back for a football game. But she'd been there, and she'd saw Brittany. She'd been planning on driving home this weekend, and spending the 3 days she had free in Lima, visiting her parents and her girlfriend.
When Brittany had called her an hour before and told her she was in the parking lot, she hadn't believed it. But she had been. They'd went out to dinner, making small conversation before coming back to Santana's dorm. She didn't have a roommate, so it was just them two. That's when Brittany had announced they needed to talk.
Santana should have known something was off. Brittany had been fidgety all afternoon, and seemed nervous. She just hadn't expected to hear she was moving across the country.
She refocused as she saw Brittany look away, biting her lip.
"You are." Santana whispered. "Wow."
"You and I both know most long distance relationships don't work." Brittany said softly, as if that justified it. "I mean, you live 4 hours away, and I've barely saw you in the past year. Maybe 8 times?"
Santana blinked. "What? No. I'm home at least once a month."
"Yeah, maybe." Brittany shrugged. "But your usually studying, or sleeping, or you don't shut up about school. It's never just you there."
"Don't do this." Santana snapped. "Don't justify you breaking up with me by saying I'm not trying. I have been. So I can't come home every weekend? I have football games, and practice. You knew it would be like that when I got the scholarship. The scholarship that you found for me." She reminded.
Brittany nodded. "I did. Because you wanted out of Lima, and I wanted that too. You deserve it. I deserve it too though."
"You do! I didn't say that. But just because your going to school in another state doesn't mean we can't make it work." Santana realized she was practically begging, but damn. She couldn't lose Brittany.
"Santana, be serious." Brittany snapped. "I'll be living across the country. How often will you be flying out there a year? I'd guess a lot less than 8 times."
"You don't know that." Santana denied.
"I do." Brittany argued tiredly. "Because neither of us can afford to."
"So your not even going to try?" Santana said bitterly, anger flaring. "Your just dumping me, moving to LA, and that's that. Your not even going to attempt to stay together."
"I think it'll be better this way." Brittany mumbled quietly. "A clean break…"
"For you, you mean. You're the one that wants this, not me." Santana clenched her fists, standing and rising from the bed. She walked across the room, throwing open the door to her tiny closet. Grabbing a bag off the top shelf, she jerks a small box from it, turning and going back to Brittany. The blondes sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes wide when she sees what Santana's holding out.
"That right there Brittany-that's why I couldn't come home every weekend." Santana jabbed a finger toward the box. "I got a job as a waitress at this place a few blocks away and literally just paid for it yesterday."
"Santana-" Brittany murmured, opening the box with shaky hands. Inside was a silver ring, shining brightly. The design was two hearts intertwined, outlined in tiny jewels. Diamonds. The way the ring was laying, she could see an inscription was etched on the inside. Lifting it carefully, she read the tiny letters. S+B forever, followed by the date they'd started dating officially.
"It was supposed to be a surprise. For your graduation. Then I decided to wait for our one year. Guess it's good that's still a month away. Now I won't make a fool of myself by making dinner reservations since you'll be in California." Santana laughed humorlessly when Brittany looked up at her.
Brittany closed the box, swallowing all her emotions. "Santana-"
"Don't." The Latina interrupts. "I gave it to you so you'd know. I love you Brittany. I always have, always will. That ring, wasn't an engagement ring. It was a promise ring. A promise that I will always love you, and will always be here. You're the one that's decided we won't make it. I didn't give you the ring to change your mind, because it's obviously made up. I just wanted you to know."
Brittany tries to hand it back, and Santana shakes her head. "No. Keep it. It's yours." She didn't add that she'd vetoed getting a class ring for school, instead ordering a ring just like Brittany's for herself. It was supposed to be back and ready for her to pick up the following week.
"I'm sorry." Brittany says, eyes pooling with tears. She jumps forward, pulling her surprised, recent ex-girlfriend, into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry."
Before Santana can react, Brittany's pulled away and already running out of the dorm. Santana stands frozen in her spot, staring at the empty doorway. Tears start falling down her face, and she starts shaking. When she can't stand it anymore, she drops to the floor on her knees, sobs racking her body.
Yeah, Brittany had basically broken up with her before she'd given her the ring. And she didn't expect it to change her mind, not exactly. She'd thought maybe, maybe, it would cause the blonde to reconsider. Or perhaps cause her to at least make an effort to try the long distance thing for a few weeks before ending things completely. She certainly hadn't expected her to run from her room without anything other than an apology.
3 weeks later:
"Come on Lopez! You call that cheering! Your worse than my 80 year old grandma!"
Santana grits her teeth hearing the captain calling her out. It's the fifth time in twenty minutes. It's been like this everyday since Brittany left. She can't focus. She can't sleep. Which means during classes she's barely able to understand anything, and her grades are starting to show. The last test she had was definitely not passing. The one before that either. Her cheerleading performance isn't any better. Her voice isn't peppy enough, her moves are to robotic. She can't even do a back flip now without almost falling.
Coach Hart, or Shay as she told them to call her, had accepted the answer that she was going through some personal stuff. The first week. The second week she told her to get her shit together. Now the third week, she was simply staring at her. It reminded her of Sue's everyday look, except worse. If she got kicked of the cheerleading squad, she was getting kicked out of school. There was no way she could afford tuition. Telling her parents wasn't an option either.
"Take five!" Shay yelled, blowing a whistle. Everyone was dropped from the stunts, all going to get water. Santana sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly as she headed for the bleachers. "Lopez, hang back a minute."
Stopping, she waited for her coach to continue. The older woman walked over, leading her to a section of the bleachers were no one else was. "What's going on with you?"
"I'm just…personal stuff. It won't be a problem anymore."
"Well it is." Shay stated flatly. "It has been. You've said that before. I can't have a cheerleader that's not cheering. You look like a zombie. Added to the fact that I had professor Collins call me. I have no choice but to put you on probation until further notice."
Santana looked down. Of course he would call. "I know, I'm sorry, but-"
"But nothing." Shay cut her off. "You have a week Lopez. One week to make up whatever work you've missed, and one week to prove you're still the girl that walked into this campus a year ago. Because I gotta tell you, this isn't her. Figure your shit out, and figure it out quick. You're a good cheerleader, when you're here. I'd hate to lose you for good."