Because of a post going around Tumblr that says something like "Imagine which one of your OTP is the cheerful soccer dad and which one gets kicked out." (That was definitely paraphrased, btw.)
Kurt didn't understand how Blaine could be so cheerful sometimes.
"That's it! Good hustle, Ella, way to go!" he yelled from the sidelines, clapping his hands in his distinctive Blaine style. "Go, go, go – oh, you'll get it back!" he consoled as the other team stole the ball and ran back down to their end of the field.
"Defense, Ella, c'mon!" Kurt called, watching the field with laser-like focus. He didn't trust any of the refs, not after they'd just sat back and watched as three huge girls had borne down on their tiny younger daughter, Vivi, and nearly thrown her off the field in order to get the ball back. That had to be against the rules! "You got this!"
"Nice block!" Blaine said, still clapping. "Oh, oh – yeah, nice steal! Great job, Courtney!"
"Papa," Vivi said at a normal volume, looking up from her magazine. "Can we get milkshakes after Ella's game's over?"
"Of course, ladybug," Kurt said, glancing down at his vaguely disheveled, pink jersey-clad nine year old. "You already won, and it looks like Ella's team will, too, so you deserve some victory dess- Oh my God!"
Out of the corner of his eye, Kurt saw Ella tumble to the ground as the soccer ball was stolen away from her by some behemoth of a girl who was pulling her arms closer to her body suspiciously.
"Foul!" Kurt cried angrily. "That's got to be a foul, come on!"
"The other team is allowed to steal the ball, sir," the closest ref said.
"They're not allowed to put their hands on my child when they do so!" Kurt said, glaring at the ref. "Stealing the ball shouldn't involve knocking the other team to the ground."
"Accidents happen, si-"
"And who the hell let that girl on the team, anyways? This is the twelve to thirteen year old league, and she looks like she could go register to vote once the game's over!" Kurt continued. "Are you taking bribes?"
"Sir, please calm do-"
"I swear to whatever God you believe in, if one of my children gets hurt because of your ineptitude, I'm going to sue AYSO for every penny it's worth!" Kurt jabbed a threatening finger at the official, who looked unimpressed but backed off a bit with his hands up.
"Kurt, sweetheart, could you please stop yelling? Ella's fine, she's already stolen the ball ba-"
"No, Blaine! They already stole that victory from Ella's team last week when they said that last-second goal actually came after the buzzer, they can't take her life, too!"
"That's it!" the official yelled. "Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to remove yourself from the field for the rest of the game. If this occurs again, I'll have you banned for the entire season!"
"Are you fuc- freaking kidding me?" Kurt asked, realizing he might not want to swear in front of a bunch of children. "I give you some valid criticism, and you respond by making me leave my daughter's game?"
"Honey, please just go," Blaine said. "If you get arrested, I'll have to bail you out, and then who'll take the girls home?"
"C'mon, Papa, you said we could get milkshakes anyways," Vivi said. She got up and took Kurt's hand, yanking it. "We can go have ours now, and then Daddy and Ella can meet us once she's done. The DQ is right across the street, come on!"
"Fine, fine," Kurt said, huffing out an exasperated sigh. "Meet us there when her game's over?"
"Of course," Blaine said, leaning in to kiss Kurt's cheek soothingly. "You have the car keys."
"I see how it is," Kurt teased, letting Vivi drag him away. "Alright, pumpkin, what flavor you thinking about?"
"Chocolate, duh!" Vivi said, rolling her eyes.
"I understand the sentiment, although I don't really appreciate the eye rolling," Kurt said warningly.
"Sorry, Papa," Vivi said as they entered the Dairy Queen. She gave him her best kicked-puppy look, and Kurt instantly felt himself soften.
"Two medium chocolate shakes, please," he told the girl at the counter, stroking Vivi's windblown black curls with one hand as he fished out his wallet with the other. In practically no time at all, he and Vivi were at a window seat facing the soccer fields and enjoying their ice cream in a comfortable silence.
"Papa?" Vivi asked shyly once they were almost done. "I wanna ask you something, but please don't get mad!"
"Vivi, baby, why would I get mad at you for asking me a question?" Kurt said, genuinely confused.
"I dunno," Vivi said, staring into her cup. "I, um...canIpleasequitsoccer?"
"Can you what?" Kurt asked, watching Vivi's face crumple. "No, sweetheart, I just couldn't hear you, that's all. Please don't cry!"
"Can I please quit soccer?" Vivi repeated. She bit her lip, near tears.
"Come here," Kurt said, patting his lap. Once Vivi had crossed to his side of the table, he continued, "Of course you can quit soccer if you want. Right now, or can you wait until the season's over?"
"I can play until this season's done," Vivi said, sniffling. "But I don't wanna play again next year. Or ever."
"Was someone mean to you?" Kurt asked. "I swear, if those refs didn't-"
"No, Papa, no one was mean to me," Vivi interrupted. She had learned at a young age not to let Kurt build up steam. "I just don't like it anymore. It's not fun."
"If you're not having fun, then you're not doing it," Kurt said decisively. "I'm sorry, Vivi. Daddy and I just assumed you still wanted to play when sign-ups started."
"It's not your fault, Papa. I still kinda liked it when the season started," Vivi said. "But then it started being work and all my best friends quit to do Girl Scouts and dance, so now I don't like it so much."
"I was wondering where Sophie and Rose went," Kurt said. "Would you like to do Girl Scouts and dance, baby girl?"
Vivi nodded.
"Then I think Daddy and I can probably arrange something."
"Papa!" Vivi shrieked, flinging her arms around Kurt. "Really? You mean it?"
"Of course, Vivi," Kurt said. "Why wouldn't I mean it?"
"I thought you and Daddy liked going to my soccer games," Vivi explained, a little bashful.
"Because we like watching you have fun, little ladybug," Kurt said. "If you'll have more fun at recitals and Scout meetings, then we'll have more fun, too."
"You're the best, Papa," Vivi said, cuddling closer to her father.
"I'm hurt!" Blaine teased, appearing around the corner with Ella and their own desserts in tow. "I thought I was the best!"
"You're both the best daddies," Vivi said, looking so much like her biological mother at that point that it was actually a little frightening.
"I can live with a tie," Kurt said, smiling at his husband. "Now take a seat and tell us about the end of your game, sweet pea!"