Rule Number 1: You can't.

"No. N-O. No. I refuse. You cannot. I deny you the privilege." Declared Fiyero Tiggular as he crossed his arms like a child and pouted.

"But daaaad!" Whined the sixteen year old girl.

"But Aliiiiice!" Whined Fiyero back.

"Dad!" Huffed Alice Tiggular, "You're so immature!"

"Girlfriend, oh no you didn't." Grinned Fiyero as he snapped his fingers three times. He loved messing with his daughter, but despite the façade he was putting on now, he really meant no when he said no. Her daughter was not dating some punk kid he never met.

"Dad! You haven't even met him! I'm old enough to take care of myself!"

With those words, Fiyero shut down. His little girl…old enough to take care of herself? No, she needed him. He was daddy Tiggular, and little Alice Tiggular needed protecting. When Fiyero snapped back to reality, he realized that his daughter was gone.

"Alice?"

The raven haired girl entered the living room in which Fiyero was sitting in.

"Yes, dad?"

"I said no." Said Fiyero firmly.

"Well, mom said I could."

Fiyero perked up, "ELPHABA!"

Elphaba Thropp-Tiggular stepped into the room, "Yes, dear?"

"Did you allow Alice to date some punk kid that I don't like, know, or approve of? Did you? Huh? DID YOU?"

"Yes."

"Whyyyyyyy?" Whined Fiyero, "My authority over our child, gone because of your reckless decision!"

Elphaba sighed, "Fiyero, she's able to take care of herself. And besides, if our daughter was a son instead, you'd be rooting him on; to get with every girl as far as the eye could see. Admit it."

"No…well, a little." Admited the father.

"That's sexist, dad." Scoffed Alice.

Before Fiyero could say anything else, the door bell rang.

"I'll get it!" Shouted Alice as she rushed for the door,"Hi, Greg!" She said happily as a sandy blonde hair young man stepped inside the house.

"Hey, Alice." He said with a grin, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, just let me get my-"

"Oh no you don't!" Growled Fiyero as he interrupted his daughter.

"Dad!"

"It's ok, Alice, I just want to talk to him." Said Fiyero menacingly.

Greg gulped, "Sure thing, Mr. Tiggular."

"Come with me to the kitchen, Greg, I want to show you something."

The frightened teenager followed Fiyero into the kitchen, where he was greeted with the father stabbing a long knife into a cutting board.

"Oh Shiz." Stuttered the blonde.

"You see this, Greg? This is my favourite knife." Started Fiyero.

Greg started to sweat.

"Do you know why it's my favourite knife, Greg?" Continued Fiyero, "It can cut just about anything." He said with a grin.

He pulled the knife out of the cutting board and pointed it at the young man's face, "And if you hurt my daughter, I will cut off your nuts."

"Greg, wait!" Called out Alice.

The blonde had run out of the Tiggular household the second Fiyero had threatened him.

"No way, man, your dad's crazy! Crazy I say!" Screamed the panicked teenager as he disappeared down the street.

The teenager sighed and retreated back into the house passing her father on the way. She shot him a glare.

"What?" Asked Fiyero innocently.

Alice ignored him and stalked off to her room.

"That was the third one this month." Stated Elphaba with an amused expression on her face.

"Well I can't help if it none of these punks are good enough for Alice, now can I?"

"She hates you now." Continued Elphaba.

"Hey, when the right guy comes, he'll stay, even after I threaten him. Besides, all these stupid boys she brings over are superficial and shallow, remember?"

One of Alice's potential dates had nearly fainted at the sight of Elphaba, who had an odd skin condition called... green skin.

"Hmm, reminds me of a certain boy when I was university. He was the rudest, shallowest, most spoilt young man I have ever had the displeasure of meeting." Mused Elphaba.

Fiyero's blue eyes twinkled, "It's ok, you married me and never had to see him again." He said with a smirk.

A loud bang was heard from upstairs, in the general direction of Alice's room. Someone was raging.

"She seems…unhappy." Stated Fiyero.

Elphaba waved her hand, "She'll have another 'boyfriend' in a week, count on it."

"Course my genes, giving her uncanny good looks!" Laughed Fiyero as he put the knife back into the kitchen drawer.

Elphaba smiled as she walked into their bedroom, seeing her husband and daughter duke it out every time a boy was over was always fun. She almost couldn't wait for the next one.