Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, settings, etc involving Voltron: Defender of the Universe. This story and all of its chapters are for entertainment purposes only and are to be viewed as a satire (or parody depending on the subject of the chapter). As such, these stories and the author are protected under the respective satire/parody laws.

Author's Notes: These stories are just random scenarios that I came up with years ago for one reason or another. There is no real continuity to them nor is there a common thread or theme (other than the goofy imagination of the author).

The Commander and the Princess: A Dinner Date To Remember

By Kiethblacklion

It was Keith and Allura's first date. In order to impress her, Keith took Allura to the nicest restaurant on Planet Arus, Chez Lion's Den.

"Thank you for bringing me here," Allura said as she and Keith sat down at their table. "I've heard wonderful things about this place."

"It's my pleasure Allura." Keith adjusted his seat closer to the table.

The waitress walked up to the table and placed some coasters down in front of Keith and Allura. "Good evening, my name is Amy and I will be your server tonight." She dug through her pockets for her notepad. Once she found it Amy looked up and recognized Keith. "OH MY GOD! You're him! You're Commander Keith!"

Keith smiled, a bit embarrassed. "Yes, I am."

"Oh my god, I can't believe it," Amy gushed. "I am waiting on the hottest guy in the galaxy."

Keith felt uncomfortable. He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand and noticed Allura looked annoyed. "Umm..yes, well…I'm sure you recognize Princess Allura as well." It was a desperate attempt to draw attention away from himself.

Amy turned to Allura, who reached out to the young waitress. "Nice to meet you," Amy said as she shook Allura's hand briefly. She then turned back to Keith. "So what can I get for you to drink, Keith? Do you mind if I call you Keith?"

Keith tried to be as polite as possible. "That's fine. I'll have a sweet tea."

Allura didn't wait for the waitress to turn around before placing her drink order. "I'll have a water with a slice of lemon."

"No problem. I'll have that up for you shortly." Amy winked at Keith and walked off.

"O….k. That was weird," Keith said to Allura.

Allura huffed. "No, it was rude! I can't believe that. She hardly paid me any attention at all."

"Please relax Allura." Keith reached out and took Allura's hand. "She's just a fan who got excited over seeing the people that she admires."

"You mean the 'commander' that she admires." Allura withdrew her hand from Keith's. "She got a little too excited, if you ask me."

A few minutes later Amy returned, bouncing up to Keith and setting his drink on his coaster for him. Amy practically dropped Allura's drink onto the table.

"So what can I get you to eat, handsome?" Amy asked as she winked again at Keith.

Keith cleared his throat. "I'll have the 12 oz sirloin with the loaded baked potato."

"Sure thing, Darling," Amy said. She then turned to Allura. "And for you?"

"For starters, I'd like a lemon in my water. Secondly, I'll have the oriental chicken salad with ranch dressing on the side with a side order of steamed vegetables."

Amy smiled. "Trying to get that flight suit to fit better huh? I don't blame you. Those hips are looking a little wide, and the TV cameras don't help much either."

Allura eyes widen in surprised. She was about to say something when the waitress spoke again.

"Let me go put this order in for you." Amy smiled once again at Keith then walked away before Allura could say anything.

Allura turned her attention to Keith. "That is the rudest waitress I have ever had. I can't believe she made that comment about me. Who does she think she is? Just because her butt is smaller, her waist is thinner and her boobs are perkier…"

Keith once again puts his hand on Allura's. "Please calm down. It wasn't right of her to say that, but we're not here because of the waitress, we are here to spend time together."

Allura's eyes soften at Keith's touch and her anger dissipated at the sound of Keith's voice. "You're right.," she said with a smile.

"That's my girl."

"One thing though…," Allura said.

"What's that?" Keith asked.

"Are my hips really getting that big?"

Keith took his hand away from Allura's and lightly smacked his own forehead.

After about 15 minutes, Amy brought the food to the table. She gingerly sat Keith's plate down in front of him and practically tossed Allura's food in front of her. "Is there anything I can get for you?" she asked, winking again at Keith.

"Uh no…thank you," Keith said, embarrassed by the waitress' behavior.

"I'd still like to have my lemon," Allura interjected.

Amy rolled her eyes. "Sure, one lemon." She then walked away.

"I really hate that waitress," Allura said through gritted teeth.

Keith and Allura began to eat their meal. Amy finally brought the lemon and dropped into Allura's water. The next hour passed without incident. Keith and Allura spent the time discussing their childhood and respective families, sharing intimate details of their personal lives that they never had the chance to do before. Amy would occasionally check on them, usually ignoring Allura who, in turn, ignored Amy. Finally, the Commander and the Princess finished their meal.

"All finished?" Amy asked as she approached the table.

"Yes. We'd like our check now," Keith told her.

"Absolutely." Amy placed the check in front of Keith. She had drew a huge smile and wrote 'Thank You' on it.

Keith handed the waitress the cash for the meal.

"I'll be right back." Amy took the money and walked away.

"Ok, she's gone. Let's leave before she returns," Allura said.

"Allura!" Keith could barely contain his surprise in regards to Allura's words.

"What?" she asked innocently.

Amy returned with Keith's change. "Here you go."

"Thank you." Keith separated some bills and left a reasonable tip.

Amy started to clean off the table and accidentally knocked Allura's glass over, spilling water onto the princess.

Allura stood up and looked down at her soaked top.

"Oh, I am soooo sorry," Amy said in a less than sincere tone.

"Why you little…" Allura lunged at the waitress. The two women hit the floor with a loud thud. Patrons throughout the restaurant turned to see what the commotion was about.

Allura finally pinned Amy and started to beat the snot out of her.

An hour later…

Keith and Allura are walking out of the police station.

"Not bad for a first date," Keith commented. "We had a lovely dinner, while we mingled with the populace and were fully briefed on the proper procedure of processing a criminal. So what should we do on our second date?"

"Shut up," were Allura's last words of the evening.