A/N: This will be mild Slash between Severus Snape and Remus Lupin. If you don't like it, don't read it! To all the others:
ENJOY!
Disclaimer: If those characters belonged to me I would be busy writing Book 6 instead of fanfiction stories (-;
*****
Help
*****
I had just returned from yet another Death Eater meeting, luckily this time there had been no torture. There were no news I could bring to Dumbledore and so he had just gone to Number 12 Grimmauld Place, believing that the house was empty. I only wanted to be alone for a little while
But when I arrived I could hear someone moving around in the kitchen. Slowly I entered the room and to my surprise it was Lupin who looked at me. It had been full moon last night and because of the meeting I hadn't been able to prepare the Wolfsbane Potion.
The werewolf had probably scratched and bitten himself again and the painful transformation had tired him as well. He looked like hell. On his pale skin the dark circles under his eyes were easily to be seen, his eyes looked tired and exhausted and it seemed to me as if he was about to fall.
And even though I felt pity and even a little guilty for not brewing the potion I couldn't bring himself to be civil to Lupin. "What is it? Here to think about remember your pityful excuse for a friend again?"
Remus sighed wearily, his eyes became sad and again I felt a sting of terrible guilt. I was intentionally hurting an already nearly broken man, a man who had lost everything in his life. Even though I had hated Potter and Black they had been like brothers for Lupin and now that they were dead the man had hardly anything left to live for. Maybe that Potter boy was the only thing keeping him alive. "I apologize," I muttered to my own surprise. "I was out of line." Gods, why had I just said that?
Surprise shone in those gentle eyes as well. "Excuse me, Severus, what did you just say?" Still he remained civil, even though I had just been unforgiveable rude. That man truly was a mystery to me. He sounded weak and there was no mocking in his voice, he had never mocked me, unlike so many others. Still he hadn't stood up to Potter and Black when they had embarassed me, tortured me and laughed at me. He hadn't told them to stop and for years I hadn't been able to forgive him.
But when I looked at the man now I was surprised to find that I didn't - couldn't - hate him anymore. Not at all. "I said that I'm sorry. I had no right to speak of Black like that when you are around." With that I turned to leave.
"Do you want a cup of tea, Severus?" I had to listen carefully to hear him for his voice was hardly more than a whisper. "I just wanted to brew some."
I turned around once more to look at Lupin. Yes, the man looked horrible but he gave me a small smile nevertheless. He had always been so gentle and good-hearted. Anyone else, except for Dumbledore, avoided my company. I could hear the other teachers and the members of the Order sigh with relief when I left the room, they avoided talking to me or spending time with me. And I could even understand them. I surely wasn't what one would call a pleasent company.
Still the werewolf's amber eyes were set on me as he was waiting patiently for my answer. Suddenly he swayed slightly on his feet, just for a moment, then he stood straight once more. But I had seen how weak he really was, how tired. And now I recognized something in his eyes that I knew only too well.
Pain.
Probably from hurting himself during the night.
Finally I nodded. "Yes, a cup of tea would be good. But let me brew it and you sit down. You look terrible," I added quietly. All the time I had tried to let my voice sound as cold and distand as possible.
The werewolf smiled gratefully. "If you don't mind..."
"Not at all."
He nodded and walked towards the chairs. But then he stumbled and would have fallen if I hadn't coughed him in time. The werewolf looked up at me in surprise, but then he smiled again. "Thank you, Severus. I fear I shouldn't be up at that day."
I led him to one of the chairs where he sat down without leaning back. But at that point I didn't pay attention to that. I started to make the tea. "Why are you up then? And what are you doing here anyway?"
"Well, I was a little hungry and thirsty and so I had to get up. It hurts pretty much to to lie anyway. As for your other question, I currently live here. I had to leave the village where I was living until yesterday. They found out..."
"I see." What else was there to say? Of course I knew what he meant. I could hear how much all that was affecting him, but I couldn't help him, even though for some reason I really wanted to. I didn't know why. It wasn't that I cared for him, right?
When I had finished the tea I brought him a cup and he slowly drank in small sips. It looked like he would fall asleep any second now. "I can help you to bed if you want me to." My voice was almost as quiet as his.
"You want to help me?"
"Well, at least I don't want you to fall down the stairs and break your neck, Lupin. Did you find something to eat?"
"Excuse me?"
"You said you were a little hungry."
"Ah, yes. No, I didn't find anything. Nobody has been here for longer than a few hours since..." He trailed off, his voice breaking. When I looked at him I could see tears in his eyes. But he bravely held them back.
"Come on, I'll get you upstairs and then I go to Hogwarts to get you something to eat and a potion against the pain."
He smiled at me for a moment, but there was still no mocking in his eyes. "You always manage to surprise me, Severus Snape."
'I always manage to surprise myself,' I thought sarcastically while helping Lupin to his feet. Slowly we went upstairs where the werewolf laid down on one of the beds. Immediatly he grimaced in pain.
Hesitantly I sat down next to him. "May I?" I asked, pointing at his shirt while avoiding his eyes.
He merely nodded and I helped him to get rid of it.
Gods, I had never expected something like that! Some wounds must still have been bleeding only a few minutes ago. Some scratches were pretty deep and at least one of them was infected. He looked ashamed for now he seemed to avoid my gaze as well. Sighing I took out my wand. "Accio pillows." A moment later at least ten pillows came flying towards me and landed before my feet. Remus was still in sitting position and so I could place the pillows beneath him without a problem. "Can you lie down now?"
He looked dazed and exhausted, his eyes were nearly closed already, but he still tried to lie down. Carefully he allowed himself to lean back and found that it was endureable now. A small, grateful smile came to his dry lips. "Thank you, Severus."
I nodded, although he didn't look at me anymore. "I'll go back to Hogwarts then. I probably won't need more than half an hour - that is if Dumbledore doesn't decide that it's absolutely necessary to have a conversation with me now. You know how he is."
"Yes. Severus, you don't have to come back. You've done so much already."
"I'll come back." I looked down at him with the cuts all over his chest. Fortunately I didn't have to look at his back anymore. Gently I covered his already sleeping form with the blanket, walked over to the fireplace and left Number 12 Grimmauld Place.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Quickly I mixed a sleeping potion with something to ease pain. Together with a healing potion I put into a bag. Then I left the dungeons and walked towards the kitchen.
On the way I wondered why the hell I was doing that. I had no reason to help that bloody werewolf after all! But who else was there to take care of him? Of course that Molly Weasley invited him to dinner regularely but nobody ever came to see him around the full moon. I guess they just couldn't deal with it.
Idiots - all of them.
And they called me cruel.
Even though he had been my 'enemy' for years I just couldn't just stay here in Hogwarts and leave him alone now. He surely didn't deserve that. And during the last months I had even started to like him. I felt stupid about it, so bloody stupid - but I just couldn't help it.
Before I could enter the kitchen I met Albus. "Hello, Severus," he said smiling, the familiar twinkle in his eyes. "Did you find out something interesting?"
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "No, there was nothing this time. Listen, Albus, I don't have much time."
He frowned slightly, looking worried. "You don't have to return today, do you?"
This time I couldn't just roll my eyes for I really appreciated his worry. He was the only person who had ever been worried about me and with time he had become like the father I never had. All my life I had hated my father, Albus Dumbledore had managed to show me that not everything and everyone was bad. He had given a job and a home - for that I will be grateful for the rest of my life.
"No, Albus." Suddenly I felt terribly foolish. "I will return to Grimmauld Place. I just want to get something from the kitchen."
The headmaster remained silent, obviously waiting for me to continue.
"Lupin is there. It was full moon tonight," I explained with a weary sigh. "And I didn't have the time to prepare the potion yesterday. He... he doesn't feel too well. I know he's always exhausted after that night but because he didn't have the potion he scratched and bit himself again."
The older man smiled knowingly. "Ah, I see. That's very nice of you, Severus. I won't hold you back anymore then."
I nodded and finally entered the kitchen. After getting a potato soup from the elves I went to the next fireplace and returned to Number 12 Grimmauld Place. I placed the soup and the potions on the table next to the bed and then I sat down next to the werewolf. He constantly shifted possition in his sleep, trying and failing to get comfortable. Now and then he would moan in pain but he was too exhausted to wake up. I watched him for a few moments. He was so deadly pale and there are lines on his face while he was still too young for them.
Well, my face also doesn't look too good anymore. I guess you can always see if someone had had a hard life.
"Lupin," I said, perhaps a little softer than intended.
First he just moaned once more but after a few seconds he opened his eyes. "Severus, you came back." Still his voice was only a whisper.
"Of course I did, you idiot." This time my voice was a little harsher than intended. "I told you so, didn't I?"
"Of course. I'm sorry."
I merely nodded and helped him to sit up. Then I placed a few pillows behind his back so he could stay in this possition without a great effort. When I saw that his hands were still shaking I helped him to eat his soup and drink some more tea. Then I took the potions in my hand. "Drink this. One is against the pain, the other will help your wounds to heal faster."
Obediently he drank it all, even though I knew how bitter they both tasted. As I helped him to lie down once more he smiled at me gently. "You mixed a sleeping potion into it, didn't you?"
I frowned. "Yes, I thought you wouldn't notice."
"I could smell it."
"I see." He could be so creepy sometimes, but I didn't want to tell him that this time. Not when he was in such a state.
Suddenly he reached out with a shaky hand, touching my cheek. I was completely paralyzed. "Thank you," Lupin... Remus whispered again.
"You are welcome," I answered gently without thinking. Again a smile came to his lips and I could see something in his eyes which I had never seen before. Something I had never dared to hope for. Maybe even something I wasn't worthy of.
Love.
Well, maybe it was the influence of the potions, maybe the pain over Sirius' death, but I didn't want to think about that now. His hand slowly pulled me towards him, so gently that it nearly made me cry.
Then I felt his soft lips on mine and we kissed. His hand slowly left my head and just as slowly I sat up again, looking down at his face, watching him sleep and wondering wether I had just dreamed.
End
A/N: Please tell me if you liked it or not! Do you want a sequel? If you want to there will be two more stories.
ENJOY!
Disclaimer: If those characters belonged to me I would be busy writing Book 6 instead of fanfiction stories (-;
*****
Help
*****
I had just returned from yet another Death Eater meeting, luckily this time there had been no torture. There were no news I could bring to Dumbledore and so he had just gone to Number 12 Grimmauld Place, believing that the house was empty. I only wanted to be alone for a little while
But when I arrived I could hear someone moving around in the kitchen. Slowly I entered the room and to my surprise it was Lupin who looked at me. It had been full moon last night and because of the meeting I hadn't been able to prepare the Wolfsbane Potion.
The werewolf had probably scratched and bitten himself again and the painful transformation had tired him as well. He looked like hell. On his pale skin the dark circles under his eyes were easily to be seen, his eyes looked tired and exhausted and it seemed to me as if he was about to fall.
And even though I felt pity and even a little guilty for not brewing the potion I couldn't bring himself to be civil to Lupin. "What is it? Here to think about remember your pityful excuse for a friend again?"
Remus sighed wearily, his eyes became sad and again I felt a sting of terrible guilt. I was intentionally hurting an already nearly broken man, a man who had lost everything in his life. Even though I had hated Potter and Black they had been like brothers for Lupin and now that they were dead the man had hardly anything left to live for. Maybe that Potter boy was the only thing keeping him alive. "I apologize," I muttered to my own surprise. "I was out of line." Gods, why had I just said that?
Surprise shone in those gentle eyes as well. "Excuse me, Severus, what did you just say?" Still he remained civil, even though I had just been unforgiveable rude. That man truly was a mystery to me. He sounded weak and there was no mocking in his voice, he had never mocked me, unlike so many others. Still he hadn't stood up to Potter and Black when they had embarassed me, tortured me and laughed at me. He hadn't told them to stop and for years I hadn't been able to forgive him.
But when I looked at the man now I was surprised to find that I didn't - couldn't - hate him anymore. Not at all. "I said that I'm sorry. I had no right to speak of Black like that when you are around." With that I turned to leave.
"Do you want a cup of tea, Severus?" I had to listen carefully to hear him for his voice was hardly more than a whisper. "I just wanted to brew some."
I turned around once more to look at Lupin. Yes, the man looked horrible but he gave me a small smile nevertheless. He had always been so gentle and good-hearted. Anyone else, except for Dumbledore, avoided my company. I could hear the other teachers and the members of the Order sigh with relief when I left the room, they avoided talking to me or spending time with me. And I could even understand them. I surely wasn't what one would call a pleasent company.
Still the werewolf's amber eyes were set on me as he was waiting patiently for my answer. Suddenly he swayed slightly on his feet, just for a moment, then he stood straight once more. But I had seen how weak he really was, how tired. And now I recognized something in his eyes that I knew only too well.
Pain.
Probably from hurting himself during the night.
Finally I nodded. "Yes, a cup of tea would be good. But let me brew it and you sit down. You look terrible," I added quietly. All the time I had tried to let my voice sound as cold and distand as possible.
The werewolf smiled gratefully. "If you don't mind..."
"Not at all."
He nodded and walked towards the chairs. But then he stumbled and would have fallen if I hadn't coughed him in time. The werewolf looked up at me in surprise, but then he smiled again. "Thank you, Severus. I fear I shouldn't be up at that day."
I led him to one of the chairs where he sat down without leaning back. But at that point I didn't pay attention to that. I started to make the tea. "Why are you up then? And what are you doing here anyway?"
"Well, I was a little hungry and thirsty and so I had to get up. It hurts pretty much to to lie anyway. As for your other question, I currently live here. I had to leave the village where I was living until yesterday. They found out..."
"I see." What else was there to say? Of course I knew what he meant. I could hear how much all that was affecting him, but I couldn't help him, even though for some reason I really wanted to. I didn't know why. It wasn't that I cared for him, right?
When I had finished the tea I brought him a cup and he slowly drank in small sips. It looked like he would fall asleep any second now. "I can help you to bed if you want me to." My voice was almost as quiet as his.
"You want to help me?"
"Well, at least I don't want you to fall down the stairs and break your neck, Lupin. Did you find something to eat?"
"Excuse me?"
"You said you were a little hungry."
"Ah, yes. No, I didn't find anything. Nobody has been here for longer than a few hours since..." He trailed off, his voice breaking. When I looked at him I could see tears in his eyes. But he bravely held them back.
"Come on, I'll get you upstairs and then I go to Hogwarts to get you something to eat and a potion against the pain."
He smiled at me for a moment, but there was still no mocking in his eyes. "You always manage to surprise me, Severus Snape."
'I always manage to surprise myself,' I thought sarcastically while helping Lupin to his feet. Slowly we went upstairs where the werewolf laid down on one of the beds. Immediatly he grimaced in pain.
Hesitantly I sat down next to him. "May I?" I asked, pointing at his shirt while avoiding his eyes.
He merely nodded and I helped him to get rid of it.
Gods, I had never expected something like that! Some wounds must still have been bleeding only a few minutes ago. Some scratches were pretty deep and at least one of them was infected. He looked ashamed for now he seemed to avoid my gaze as well. Sighing I took out my wand. "Accio pillows." A moment later at least ten pillows came flying towards me and landed before my feet. Remus was still in sitting position and so I could place the pillows beneath him without a problem. "Can you lie down now?"
He looked dazed and exhausted, his eyes were nearly closed already, but he still tried to lie down. Carefully he allowed himself to lean back and found that it was endureable now. A small, grateful smile came to his dry lips. "Thank you, Severus."
I nodded, although he didn't look at me anymore. "I'll go back to Hogwarts then. I probably won't need more than half an hour - that is if Dumbledore doesn't decide that it's absolutely necessary to have a conversation with me now. You know how he is."
"Yes. Severus, you don't have to come back. You've done so much already."
"I'll come back." I looked down at him with the cuts all over his chest. Fortunately I didn't have to look at his back anymore. Gently I covered his already sleeping form with the blanket, walked over to the fireplace and left Number 12 Grimmauld Place.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Quickly I mixed a sleeping potion with something to ease pain. Together with a healing potion I put into a bag. Then I left the dungeons and walked towards the kitchen.
On the way I wondered why the hell I was doing that. I had no reason to help that bloody werewolf after all! But who else was there to take care of him? Of course that Molly Weasley invited him to dinner regularely but nobody ever came to see him around the full moon. I guess they just couldn't deal with it.
Idiots - all of them.
And they called me cruel.
Even though he had been my 'enemy' for years I just couldn't just stay here in Hogwarts and leave him alone now. He surely didn't deserve that. And during the last months I had even started to like him. I felt stupid about it, so bloody stupid - but I just couldn't help it.
Before I could enter the kitchen I met Albus. "Hello, Severus," he said smiling, the familiar twinkle in his eyes. "Did you find out something interesting?"
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "No, there was nothing this time. Listen, Albus, I don't have much time."
He frowned slightly, looking worried. "You don't have to return today, do you?"
This time I couldn't just roll my eyes for I really appreciated his worry. He was the only person who had ever been worried about me and with time he had become like the father I never had. All my life I had hated my father, Albus Dumbledore had managed to show me that not everything and everyone was bad. He had given a job and a home - for that I will be grateful for the rest of my life.
"No, Albus." Suddenly I felt terribly foolish. "I will return to Grimmauld Place. I just want to get something from the kitchen."
The headmaster remained silent, obviously waiting for me to continue.
"Lupin is there. It was full moon tonight," I explained with a weary sigh. "And I didn't have the time to prepare the potion yesterday. He... he doesn't feel too well. I know he's always exhausted after that night but because he didn't have the potion he scratched and bit himself again."
The older man smiled knowingly. "Ah, I see. That's very nice of you, Severus. I won't hold you back anymore then."
I nodded and finally entered the kitchen. After getting a potato soup from the elves I went to the next fireplace and returned to Number 12 Grimmauld Place. I placed the soup and the potions on the table next to the bed and then I sat down next to the werewolf. He constantly shifted possition in his sleep, trying and failing to get comfortable. Now and then he would moan in pain but he was too exhausted to wake up. I watched him for a few moments. He was so deadly pale and there are lines on his face while he was still too young for them.
Well, my face also doesn't look too good anymore. I guess you can always see if someone had had a hard life.
"Lupin," I said, perhaps a little softer than intended.
First he just moaned once more but after a few seconds he opened his eyes. "Severus, you came back." Still his voice was only a whisper.
"Of course I did, you idiot." This time my voice was a little harsher than intended. "I told you so, didn't I?"
"Of course. I'm sorry."
I merely nodded and helped him to sit up. Then I placed a few pillows behind his back so he could stay in this possition without a great effort. When I saw that his hands were still shaking I helped him to eat his soup and drink some more tea. Then I took the potions in my hand. "Drink this. One is against the pain, the other will help your wounds to heal faster."
Obediently he drank it all, even though I knew how bitter they both tasted. As I helped him to lie down once more he smiled at me gently. "You mixed a sleeping potion into it, didn't you?"
I frowned. "Yes, I thought you wouldn't notice."
"I could smell it."
"I see." He could be so creepy sometimes, but I didn't want to tell him that this time. Not when he was in such a state.
Suddenly he reached out with a shaky hand, touching my cheek. I was completely paralyzed. "Thank you," Lupin... Remus whispered again.
"You are welcome," I answered gently without thinking. Again a smile came to his lips and I could see something in his eyes which I had never seen before. Something I had never dared to hope for. Maybe even something I wasn't worthy of.
Love.
Well, maybe it was the influence of the potions, maybe the pain over Sirius' death, but I didn't want to think about that now. His hand slowly pulled me towards him, so gently that it nearly made me cry.
Then I felt his soft lips on mine and we kissed. His hand slowly left my head and just as slowly I sat up again, looking down at his face, watching him sleep and wondering wether I had just dreamed.
End
A/N: Please tell me if you liked it or not! Do you want a sequel? If you want to there will be two more stories.