The guilt was always there. Always. When she was with him. When she wasn't. It clawed at her insides, it pained her so much. But she couldn't stop. She couldn't give up on her goal.

But she wondered if it was worth it.

Their friendship would never be the same. She knew this. Once she achieved her goal, he was going to forgive his best friend. She knew this. The guilt in her chest always reminded her. But at the beginning she didn't care.

Who cares if her 'boyfriend's' heart was broken? After all, she'd be with the guy of her dreams. They'll get different friends, it didn't matter right?

She felt heartless just thinking like that.

But she pushed it back. Trying to keep together. It's fine, it's fine. She kept telling herself. But it wasn't fine. She knew that. She was about to break a heart, and ruin a friendship.

Time went on. Her goal became clear. Her 'ideal' guy changed from sturdy to slender. From cool to fashionable. It was slow, like a panther getting ready to pounce. But the panther wasn't quick enough.

She cursed the fates for that day. She looked for the one she loved. The one who changed her guilt riddled heart. But instead found the one whom she hatched her plan for. She didn't love him, she knew that. But after a few exchanged words, a laugh, and a smile. Her resolve broke.

She ran at him and kissed him. Kissed him with all the love she had. It was an empty kiss. For there was no love. It was a bitter kiss. From all her unshed tears. When she pulled away, realized what she had done, the guilt clawed its way up her throat. She gasped at the pain.

She forced her downfall to promise not to tell him. She could still be with him! He just couldn't ever find out. A guilt filled promise was exchanged and she left.

With all her power she tried to keep them together. But it was too late. He saw, hate blossomed, love was lost. Her guilt filled heart broke. It hurt so much more than she thought it would.

Years past without a single word between them. But he never left her mind. Every waking moment he was there, standing with the guilt. Tormenting her. High-school. She saw him again.

But he was in love with someone else.

She saw her chance. A chance to redeem herself. To rid of the guilt that plagued her. But she was destined to fail. One look and anyone could see that her goal was impossible. But she had to try! For his sake.

But she loved him. And seeing him with someone else pained her. Hurt her more than the guilt.

She confessed, he rejected. She attacked, he defended. The odds were in his favor, his hate burned more fiercely than her love. Her plan failed. And her love was left with a broken heart.

And she had no power to fix it.