"I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up," he said. Well, my rollercoaster has finally come to the end. With the end of my long ride, also came the end of my pain and suffering. As soon as I open my lights, they are blinded by a bright white light. Once they have had enough time to adjust, I try to figure out where I am. I have no idea.
I seem to be inside of a never-ending room. The "room" is completely white Just white. With nothing inside. Kind of like that scene from Harry Potter where Harry dies and talks to Dumbledore, except I don't think a very old wizard will be greeting me anytime soon.
I'm looking around for a few minutes, or what feels like a few minutes, before I realize it's gone. Phillip, my trusty companion, was now missing from my side. I can honestly say that he will not be missed. At all. For the first time in a very long time, I can run without my lungs giving out. My crappy, barely functioning lungs have been replaced with lungs that are fully capable of being lungs. I run, and I run, but strangely I never get tired.
I can't tell you in which direction I was running, because I have no idea. Eventually there is a crowd out in the distance. I try to move forward, but I'm stopped by the growing picture in the ground. As it becomes clearer, the picture is my life. I can see my parents crying, but still loving each other, which is what I wanted. I can also see Mr. and Mrs. Water's talking about my death. I can see Katelyn with one of my old band t-shirts on, something that melts my heart because she would never be caught in something so "ugly". I can also see Isaac.
Isaac, the teenaged boy I met at support group with zero eyes and a big heart. Isaac, who has been my best friend in the last three months. Isaac, who has now had his two best friends taken away from him, not to mention his eyes. Isaac looks completely lost and broken, as I watch him walk to the cemetery. There is something in his jacket but I can't tell what it is. I figure he is walking to my grave, but he's walking in the opposite direction.
He goes to a grave that unfortunately, I know very well. He sits there for a while, "catching up" with the body that is now eight feet under the ground. He talks about how he has been these last few days, how upset he was at me for leaving him. Thankfully he has forgiven me, because he knows now that I am no longer suffering. Just when he's about to leave, he pulls out a carton of eggs, and whispers, "For your future adventures. Don't have too much fun without me."
In that moment, the picture disappears. Suddenly I am taken through every happy moment I have ever lived. All the good things about my life are on repeat. I can't feel any of the pain. It has disappeared, and I am ready to move one.
Somehow, the crowd has moved closer to me while I was taking one last look at my loved ones. I know that they will go on without me. They will always love my, but they will move on. I just know it.
Hundreds of people are now gathering around me. Every single one of them are congratulating me, telling me how strong I was. The classic cancer battle line. The strange thing is though, I have never seen ay of these people before. I push my way through the crowd. The mass of people seems to go on forever, there is an infinite amount of people.
A large hand grabs my shoulder, and unlike the other ones its familiar. I turn around and come face to face with my grandfather. He tells me how much I've grown since he's seen me, when I was four. He looks happier, healthier, than the last time I saw him. There's a woman next to him, one that I've never seen before. She introduces herself as my grandmother. I recognize the way my grandfather looks at her. It's the way I used to look at him.
My thoughts turn away from my grandparents, and to the one person I want to see the most. The one person I thought would be the first person I would see in this strange place. Frantically, I push my way through the rest of the crowd, trying to find him. More people congratulate me, and all I want is for them to disappear.
I sit on the ground and put my head in my hands. I lose track of the time, and however long later, two hands are on my back. I can feel the stranger next to crouch down. My visitor puts his or her hand under my chin, forcing me to look up. When my eyes meet his, a smile can't help but form on my face.
"Okay Hazel Grace?"
"Okay Augustus."