Disclaimer: You'd think that by needing a disclaimer, it would sorta prove I don't own anything? Right??
A/N: *shields herself from readers' wrath* Sorry! I know I said about a week. So it was a couple of weeks. But it's a nice long first chapter, does that make up for it? Guys? C'mon! Anyways – here it is, the first chapter of the last installment. I decided not to include the years between All Hallow's Eve, 1981, and Harry's third year – it was just too complicated. And this was hard to do – I didn't want to rely too much on the content of the book, but I couldn't just ignore it. I hope I've done well – but I'm sure you'll tell me. Right? OK. Now – review replies from the last chapter of "Before Stone Walls"!
Ronda-Silverpaw – Don't eat it! Thanks for the comment – I'll keep going if you promise not to eat the confetti! I need that, I'm poor and can't afford more! *scoops up slightly soggy confetti*
Lisande – I'm sure he'll regret it. Tsk tsk, Remi, you should have listened. Thanks!
Lunaris – *hands Lunaris a tissue* Aww, don't cry. They'll be OK. All right, so they won't, but we knew that already. Here's the sequel – thanks for sticking with me so long!
Eizoku – *hands Eizoku a tissue* Don't cry, darn it! I'm running out of Kleenex! Thanks.
FadingSlowly – Wow. That was…disturbing. *hides* AHH! Here, take it! *throws copy of this chapter* Down! Down!
Right, well, I'll shut up now. I talk too much, don't I?
Beyond Broken FriendshipsBy: Hawkeye's Seductress
Chapter 1: Return to Hogwarts
"I'm sorry, Remus, but…you've just missed too many days. Nine days from the twenty you worked this month is just not acceptable. I'm sorry to have to let you go, but it's necessary."
Remus nodded his golden brown head. He really hadn't expected anything less. "I understand," he said softly. "And it's perfectly understandable. I'm sorry that I wasn't more reliable." He reached across the table to shake the older man's hand.
Out in the bright sunshine, Remus allowed himself one show of temper – swinging back his foot and kicking a particularly large pebble some ways down the road – before taking a deep breath. Damn, he thought. I needed that job. Just my luck, I nearly kill myself during the full moon and have to take six days off. He sighed. "Back to the drawing board," he said aloud, heading in the direction of his tiny flat.
An official looking letter was awaiting him as he approached the peeling door. Slitting it open, he quickly skimmed the paper inside, stepping over the threshold. "Great," he groaned, flipping the letter in the general direction of his cluttered desk. His rent was overdue – again. Just one more thing to worry about.
A flap of wings at the window caught his attention. A small grey owl hovered there, the Evening Prophet clutched in its beak. He opened the window, retrieved the paper, and shoved his last Knut in the owl's pouch. A glance at the front page caused him to hurl the offending newsprint at the nearest wall, and stomp into his room, ignoring the banging on the floor from the people below. The paper fluttered to the floor, the headline screaming its three-inch tall message. SIRIUS BLACK ESCAPES AZKABAN – THE FIRST EVER BREAK OUT!
* * *
The last of the cornflakes and day old milk awaited Remus at the breakfast table. He sat afterwards, cup of coffee in hand. There was a pop, and suddenly Albus Dumbledore stood near the sink, his usual benign smile on his kind old face. Remus choked on his mouthful of coffee, and had to battle to swallow it instead of spewing all over his former headmaster. "Good morning, Remus," the silver haired wizard said brightly, unaware that he had nearly caused the death of the now ashen – faced werewolf.
"H-hi," Remus managed, wiping the tears from his eyes, fighting to take in a breath. He succeeded, and inhaled and exhaled quite a few times before he was articulate again. "What brings you here, sir?" he asked, straightening from his hunched over position and conjuring a pot of tea for the older man.
"Ah, lovely, thank you, Remus." Dumbledore cast a glance around the little flat, his eyes coming to rest on the scattered newspaper. "That, actually, is what brings me to disturb you so early in the morning." He looked back at the pale young man, fixing him with that stare that made Remus feel his very soul was being inspected. "That, and rumours that you were grievously injured during the latest full moon."
Remus squirmed inside himself. He wasn't sure which he wanted to talk about less – his illness and loss of job, or…the other issue. He took the first choice.
"Yes, I…quite foolishly wounded myself during my last transformation. I needed time to recuperate, and in doing so, I took too much time off from my job at the bookstore." He lowered his head. It was embarrassing that a fit and able man of thirty-three couldn't hold a steady job. But Dumbledore said nothing of Remus' unemployment. "Are you recovered now?"
Remus nodded. "Yes."
"Very well. Now, I must speak with you on the matter of Sirius Black's escape – "
"From prison. I know, I noticed the paper last night." He laughed hollowly. "How could you not notice? Even the Muggles have. I saw a report about him on the television this morning."
Dumbledore nodded gravely. "Yes. They, of course, don't know how powerful and hazardous he is. I spoke with their Prime Minister this morning, and told him to warn the public that he is armed and dangerous. As for our people, they are well informed of Black's potential." He stared down into his tea, swirling it gently as though the answers could be found in the amber liquid. "It is unfortunate that they know only what we know." He flicked his gaze back up to Remus, who shrank. "Remus, you must tell me. Does Sirius have any abilities we do not know about?"
Damn, Remus thought. How can I tell him about Sirius? About what he is, what I made him? I can't let him know that I forced three students to become illegal Animagi – that I betrayed the trust he has in me. Because what if Sirius is using his Animagi powers to…no. No, that's impossible. He must be using Dark magic. He shook his head. "No."
"Very well." Dumbledore set down his tea. "Now, about your predicament – I think I may be able to help you. I'm sure you heard what became of Gilderoy Lockhart?" Remus snorted. Lockhart had been four years below them in Hogwarts, and even then he'd been a ham, doing anything and everything to get the spotlight on himself. "Yes, I heard."
"Well, I find myself without a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Would you like the position?"
Remus choked. "But sir, what about – what about what I am? How can you employ me?" He cut short his protests at the slightly amused look on the older man's face. "Of course I would like the job, but I hardly think – "
"Then it's settled. Term starts in two days, Remus, so I suggest you get ready. You will have to come on the Hogwarts Express, but I'm sure that will not be a problem, will it?" Remus shook his head helplessly.
"Excellent." He stood, dusting off his spectacular green robes. "I shall see you on September first." He turned to go, but stopped at Remus's weak, "Professor?"
"Yes, Remus?"
Remus's honey brown head was lowered, his voice plaintive. "Please, sir…but this isn't because of his escape, is it?" Dumbledore sighed. "If he tries for Hogwarts, Remus, I will need you. Someone as skilled as you. And someone who knows him."
"Knew him."
The older wizard smiled wryly. "As it may be. Good morning, Remus."
* * *
Remus closed his eyes as the train emerged from the tunnel, the sunlight burning, fiery and bright. They were approaching the station. Soon, the happy children would enter the train, some returning to school, some going for the first time. He smiled weakly, wondering if the child he had not seen for thirteen years would pass his line of sight…and if he would remember. He doubted it – Harry had been just over a year, old enough to recall things and people, but studies done on his young body had proven that his encounter with Voldemort had wiped his memory clean of everything that happened.
The train slid to a stop, and Remus watched children and parents through the window, loading luggage into the compartments, calling greetings to friends not seen in three months, bidding farewell to family they would not see until Christmas. How familiar this scene – he could easily replace the people outside the window with his own family – replace the child with himself, the friends clustered around with his own friends, the parents with his smiling mother and father. To return to that innocence, he wished silently, turning away and closing his eyes again. The train started to move.
The compartment door slid open, and Remus sensed three bodies enter, obviously trying to be quiet. "Who d'you reckon he is?" he heard a voice hiss. "Professor R. J. Lupin," a female replied, clearly reading his case.
"How d'you know that?"
"It's on his case."
Remus smiled inwardly. The girl sounded like himself – smart, but exasperated with her friends and their lack of similar knowledge. The boy spoke again. "Wonder what he teaches?"
"That's obvious," the girl returned. "There's only one vacancy, isn't there? Defence Against the Dark Arts."
"Well, I hope he's up to it. He looks like one good hex would finish him off, doesn't he?" Remus could hear the doubt in the boy's voice, but wasn't offended. Indeed, he did look as though he'd been starved most of his life. The boy continued. "Anyway…what were you going to tell us?"
The children's conversation dimmed as Remus found himself once again lost in thought. Memories of his own train rides to school assaulted him at every turn, bringing a lump to his throat and tears to his eyes. But the girl's voice and words brought him back to the present sharply.
"Sirius Black escaped to come after you? Oh, Harry…you'll have to be really, really careful. Don't go looking for trouble, Harry…"
Harry? Sirius?!
The voice of his best friends' child filled Remus's ears. "I don't go looking
for trouble. Trouble usually finds me."
Once again, the discussion faded away. Remus found himself wondering. What would Harry look like, now thirteen? And what was that talk of Sirius coming after him? Sirius wouldn't want to kill Harry, would he?
He already delivered Lily and James to Voldemort, the voice in his head disagreed. Probably wants to finish the job.
He did not realize how late it was until he heard the food trolley arrive. She usually came at one, he thought dully. The air near him moved, and he heard the girl's voice. "Er – Professor?" she said. "Excuse me – Professor?" She was probably likely trying to wake him for food, but he wanted nothing. Remaining silent, he heard the girl move away. "Don't worry, dear." The voice of the food trolley witch met his ears, a voice not heard for many years. "If he's hungry when he wakes, I'll be up front with the driver."
"I suppose he is asleep," the boy said. "I mean – he hasn't died, has he?"
Remus fought back a burst of laughter. "No, no, he's breathing," the girl whispered. Once again, Remus dozed off, waking with a snort as something clattered to the ground. "New teacher," he heard Harry say, the boy's voice tense with anger. "What were you saying, Malfoy?"
Hoping he had inadvertently stopped a fight, Remus relaxed, letting the gentle swaying of the train lull him to sleep…
He felt a movement near him – someone was leaning over him to look out the window. But wait…why is the train stopping?
No. He felt them, coming nearer, nearer. The light that filtered through his closed lids disappeared, and the confused words of Harry and the others became louder. Two more children entered, banging around noisily, and Remus strained his ears, trying to hear. Finally, the hissing voices were too loud, and he spoke. "Quiet!" Pulling out his wand, he muttered a spell, holding out the handful of flames that appeared. He could see them now – five frightened, wary faces staring at him. "Stay where you are," he said, voice hoarse. He slowly rose to his feet and made his way towards the door, which slid open.
No. A Dementor stood before him, its rattling breath chilling him to the core. One of us, it called. He felt Harry's scent change abruptly, and the boy hit the floor. Stepping over him, he once again pulled out his replaced wand. "None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go."
It didn't move. One of us, it insisted, the rattling breath sounding again. Angry now, Remus muttered, "Expecto patronum." His silver Patronus – a great, shining eagle – shot out of the wand, and the Dementor turned and glided away. Harry's friends were working at reviving him, as he seemed to have fainted. Turning away, he pulled out a large bar of chocolate, smiling slightly. His friends often teased him because he always carried chocolate, but in this situation, it was useful. He broke it, the snap causing the children to jump, startled. He handed Harry a piece. "Here. Eat it. It'll help."
"What was that thing," Harry asked. Remus handed the other pieces to the rest of the kids. "A Dementor," he replied. "One of the Dementors of Azkaban." He crumpled the empty wrapper, tucking it into his pocket. "Eat," he urged. "It'll help. I need to speak to the driver, excuse me…" He walked out into the lit corridor.
* * *
He returned to the compartment, frustrated and weary. The driver had been no help at all – he didn't know how the Dementors had stopped the train, or how they boarded. Remus felt sorry for the man, though – he had been pale and shaking, as had all the people Remus had passed. He stepped back inside, seeing Harry, chocolate still in hand. He smiled lightly. "I haven't poisoned that chocolate, you know," he said gently. The boy took a tentative bite, watching Remus with faint interest. "We'll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes," Remus continued. "Are you all right, Harry?"
"Fine," the boy muttered, looking down.
The train slowed again, and the children left quickly. Remus followed more slowly, climbing into a carriage and spying Harry and his friends climb into the one in front.
He glanced out the window at the familiar castle, with its turrets and towers, windows and battlements. A flood of memories hit him yet again; bringing back the feeling of awe that invaded him every time he laid eyes on the huge castle. He stepped down from the halted carriage to find a pale boy finishing a snide comment to Harry. "Is there a problem?" he asked mildly, gazing at the pale boy and his two hulking companions. Looks just like Lucius Malfoy – I wonder…
The child regarded him with such insolence that it made Remus want to hex him. "Oh, no – er – Professor," he said, a barely veiled hint of sarcasm in his drawling voice. He motioned to the huge boys at his side, and they moved away. Horrible little snot, Remus thought, his usual calmness slipping dangerously as he climbed the steps leading to the huge doors. Sliding in quietly, he headed down the hall he knew would lead him to Dumbledore's office.
"Ah, Remus," the older man greeted him, settling his pointed hat. "Good trip?"
"No, actually," Remus replied. "The Dementors stopped the train – I see they're guarding the school as well."
Dumbledore's face darkened. "Ministry orders," he said grimly. "Did they harm anyone?" Remus shook his head. "No, but it is as we feared – they affected Harry quite badly. He passed out." Dumbledore sighed. "As if that poor boy needed something else to set him apart…very well, Remus, we'll be sure to watch out for him."
Remus was staring at the pictures of the former Headmasters, who were smiling and waving at him, clearly remembering him from his many visits to this office in his school years. "It was hard, to see him," he said softly. "He looked so much like James at that age…"
"It will be hard for you, Remus," Dumbledore said gently. "Watching him grow up, discovering the things his father and mother discovered. But worse will be watching him find things they never had the chance to. The years ahead will be hard for us all. But we must not be bitter, for Harry's sake." Remus nodded.
"Come," the older wizard announced. "It's time for the feast."
Remus sighed, shifting in his seat. It was strange to see the Great Hall from this view – from the teacher's table. He found the Gryffindor table, picking out the seat he had always sat in. Harry's bushy haired female friend occupied it, deep in conversation with Harry and the redhead. Dumbledore's speech drifted in and out of his hearing as he gazed around at the huge room, at things and people he had not seen for many years. Professor McGonagall – not looking any older – threw him a rare smile. Hagrid grinned and waved at him. Professors Sprout and Flitwick also waved, while a look of mild recollection dressed the ghostly visage of Professor Binns.
"…Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher." Dumbledore's voice broke into his thoughts, and he heard the scattered applause that welcomed him. He chose that moment to find Severus Snape among the teachers, and was not surprised to see the look of pure loathing Snape had always worn just for Remus and his friends. He sighed – this would not be pleasant.
The feast ended, and Remus watched the students file out of the Hall, on their way to the dormitories. What I would give to be in that line, he thought, gazing at the group headed for Gryffindor Tower. To be returning to that stone room…where it all began. The friendships. The trust. The innocence. What I would give to throw away these painful responsibilities and take up the shielding blanket of childhood once again…to return to the yesterdays.
But the yesterdays can't come back, the todays are dark with clouds, and we dare not think about the tomorrows…
~TBC~
Bleah! *wipes forehead* That was hard. I had so much trouble deciding on Remus's Patronus. I toyed with making it a dog, but that was just TOO cliché, even for slash. Then I thought of making it a wolf, but that was still too overdone. I think I did pretty well, though – the eagle represents honour and truth, intelligence and strength – everything Remus is. Not too shabby. Anyhoo, please review – it would brighten my days!