Konrart had not been having a good day. First, His Majesty had gone and had a bad dream, and woken up screaming, which had prompted Wolfram to start throwing fireballs, and in general set the castle on fire. That had been fun.

Then Gwendel/Gunter's cat had gone missing, causing Gunter to run about the castle like a headless chicken, sobbing his eyes out. It had been left up to Konrart to calm the erratic, lavender-haired teacher down by assuring him that "Pussy" had been discovered on Konrart's bed, happily asleep. He left out the part about the mountain of cat puke next to her.

Per usual, Yuuri had demanded a fencing lesson, which Konrart was usually more then happy to give. Today, however, Yuuri had lost his balance, tripped over his own feet, and accidentally wacked Konrart directly on top of his head with the dulled, but still sharp, edge of his sword, giving the older man a concussion.

Just as Yuuri bent over his friend to see why he wasn't moving, Wolfram had shown up. Seeing his fiancé bent over his older half-brother, he became convinced that they were having an affaire behind his back.

When Wolfram noticed Konrart coming to, he stopped shouting at Yuuri for his infidelity, and began hitting his older brother as hard as he could. A good eight minutes and seventy-five thumps later, Wolfram had accepted Yuuri's explanation that he was NOT having an affaire with Konrart, he was merely making sure that his fencing master was not dead. Wolfram apologized very nicely to his unconscious brother, and then departed with his fiance, leaving Konrart blacked out on the ground. Again.

There Lady Anissina had found the unconscious Konrart, lassoed him to a chair, and tested "lite-wand-sucker-boy" on him. It didn't work.

Right about then, Lady Cheri had shown up, shooed Anissina away, and taught Konrart how to wear female apparel, and how to use cosmetics. Unfortunately, she abandoned him without leaving him any make-up remover, so he was stuck looking like an "Egyptian queen" for the rest of the day.

So there Konrart sat, tied to a chair, concussed, black and blue, and covered in rouge. Needless to say, he was not feeling very cheerful.

"Since the universe apparently has it out for me today," he grumbled to himself. "The next person I meet will probably be some wildly crazy, insanely jealous friend who, for some reason, wants to kill me."

Enter Yozak.

Needless to say, the red-haired soldier was slightly surprised to find his best friend tied to a chair and doused in perfume and eyeliner.

"Ahh, Konrart," Yozak smiled cynically. "It's wonderful to see you getting in touch with your...umm...feminine side. My goodness!" He raised his eyebrows as he peered up Konrart's partially open shirt. "Is that a lace bra?"

"Oh, just shut up and untie me," growled Konrart in a very un-Konrartish voice.

"Ooo, touchy, today, are we?" Yozak cooed as he tried to untie the lasso. Anissina sure could tie good knots.

As his bondage fell to the floor, Konrart jumped off of the chair and turned to face Yozak, glaring daggers.

"Listen, buddy, if you'd been through even half of what's happened to me today, you'd be down on your knees, begging Shinou to make the ground open up and swallow you whole."

"What is with you these days?" Yozak returned the glare. "Ever since the new Maou showed up, you've been acting like complete jerk!you ignore all of your old friends, and you barely ever leave the castle. Hell, you've said less then ten words to me alone, and we've know each other since we were twenty. TWENTY, KONRART! THAT'S A LOT OF TIME! What's your problem!"

"Well, excuse me for trying to protect our KING! I'm not the one with the problem here, you are!"

"That doesn't make you his slave," Yozak argued, looking slightly tearful. "And you barely EVER leave his side."

"Bight me," Konrart sneered.

Yozak blanched. Something was very, very wrong with his friend.

As usual, he said exactly what he thought.

Anissina, who had been hiding behind the door and eavesdropping on the two soldiers, had to agree. Konrart hadn't been this pissed off since Julia had died. And Yozak was definitely rather insensitive and blunt. Her lips quirked up in a smile at the mere thought of the charismatic, feisty, red-haired soldier. She'd always had a thing for him. Ah, well, they obviously weren't meant to be together. Konrart and Yozak, however, were plainly a match made in heaven. Even if neither of them could see it.

This was a wonderful way to test out one of her new inventions! Just the other day, she had come up with an idea for a champagne-like drink called "Power-Champagne-Couple-Therapy-Boy". This wonderful drink resembled a glass of champagne, and made the drinkers switch bodies for twenty-four hours. Perhaps spending a day in each other's lives would help Konrart and Yozak resolve their differences!

And in the meantime, it appeared that Yozak needed saving. Judging by the muffled thumps and hair-raising screeches, Konrart didn't take kindly to being told that he had problems.

Anissina sighed. Well. Time to go play knight-in-shining-armor for Yozak. After all, "Power-Champagne-Couple-Therapy-Boy" didn't work on a dead person.

Pulling an emergency vile of the afformentioned, champagne-like substance from her pocket, she stepped out from behind the door, brandishing the bottle in front of her.

"Champagne, anyone?"

The soldier with "problems" stopped in midshake of Yozak. His fingers tightened on the red-head's throat, causing his face to go an attractive shade of blueberry that clashed with his hair.

"Come again?" Konrart stared blankly at Anissina. Then he spotted the "champagne" in her outstretched hand. Deciding that getting drunk was a good answer to his current "issues", he uncorked the bottle and took a couple of swigs.

Anissina smiled. This was all going according to plan. Men were so easy to predict. Ooo, Yozak was going to look divine in a white wedding dress, with lots of satin, and roses, and...

'Oh, shit,' Anissina gasped to herself. 'Konrart's drunk almost the whole bottle!' Without thinking, she snatched her invention away from him.

Konrart stared at her bemusadly. "What'd you do that for?"

"Well, it's, ahh, no fun getting drunk alone, is it?" Anissina mumbled, pretending to take a gulp, and then passing the bottle to Yozak, who drained it.

'That was close,' she thought. "You ok?"

Yozak nodded, his face beginning to louse it's blueberry tint.

Anissina smiled at him, and waved to Konrart as she waltzed out of the room.

Poor, poor Konrart and Yozak, each of them awkwardly trying to think of a way to apologize for a. nearly throttling each other to death (Konrart), or b., telling each other they had problems (Yozak). They had no idea that Anissina was about to turn them into the "it"couple of the year...