Pyromaniac: This came to me, on the highway, as I was waiting for someone to pick me up after the accident. Funny how the muses act sometimes. Nothing much to say, except I started calling Sabretooth 'Victor'
Disclaimer: I own only John's flamboyant gay attitude and the squirrel, and if any of you try to take them without my permission, I'll hunt ya down!
Random Thing For The Day: I cut down trees. I wear high heels, suspenders, and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear Papa!
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The scene opens to a classic British reading room. A fire is crackling in the fireplace; old historic novels line the bookshelves, velvet red armchairs sit by the fireplace where two figures are disusing the weather over champagne, while classical music is playing in the background. Yes, my friends. You are in for a show.
"Aw, crap! I just caught my long, un-kept, girly hair on fire again!
"Chirping!"
Ironic twist, huh? Bet you weren't expecting those two. Due to the fact that Mr. Squirrel cannot speak English, the magic of fan fiction shall provide a British voice for him…and also give dear Victor some much needed manners.
"Well, I do declare! My giant furry hands keep breaking our fine elegant champagne glasses."
"Chirp, chirp, chirping" Well, Sir. Victor maybe you shouldn't hold them so tightly
"I do suppose."
"Squeak, chirp, squeakin" Anyway, on to more important subjects "Chirp, chirp!" Tonight we spin a tale of humour, drama, and lastly, horror!
"Oh dear, Sir. Squirrel" Victor frowned. "Horror?"
"Squeak" Nothing too bad, Victor "Squeak, squeak" This is rated PG-13
"May I start?"
"Chirpy" If it pleases you
"Goodie!" Victor turned around in his chair to face the hidden camera. "Our tale starts out with four young mutants, driving along a long, dark road. These four friends are having the time of their lives, after all, they're going to a boy band concert!"
"Squeak" Sounds like a smashing good time
"Unfortunately, they are not aware of the horror that lurks around the corner…."
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"I'm tearing up my wallet, when I'm without you!" John howled.
"And when we're apart, I drink Mountain Dew!" Pietro sang poorly.
"An' t'ough I 'ave non clue, my brain's awake" Remy cried as he ratted the dashboard with his knuckles
"When I step in do, do!" They finished.
"For the love of cheese!" Peter cried, honking his horn at a truck-driver as it passed him. "I know you guys are excited about seeing the X Sync Boys but seriously, you suck at singing!"
John sniffed. "Just because you sang in a opera doesn't mean you can judge us."
"I sure as hell can!"
Pietro and Remy sighed as the two continued to bicker. "Well, Remy, at least the road isn't long and dark."
"Y' got dat rig't!"
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"Chirping" You filthy gutter snipe, you said they were suppose to be having the time of their lives, and that it was a long, dark road. Tsk Tsk, Victor you have lied to me and the fans
"That's for the court to decide," Victor stretched in his chair. "Not to change the topic but did you realize that these champagne glasses never go empty!"
"Squeak, chirpy" Actually I did, but I didn't want to burst your bubble
"Well, you did"
"Squeak." I apologize, Sir. Victor The squirrel held out its glass as Victor re-filled it. "Squeaken" That's better, now please continue
"As John and Peter bickered, they sadly did not see the young principal run into the road…."
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"Peter, do you want me to take the wheel? You need both eyes to argue with John"
"I'm fine…John! How many times do I have to tell you? Lance is not that kind of guy!"
"But he's so dreamy…" John trailed off as he started to daydream about life with Lance, completely ignoring the other mutants.
"I feel snubbed!" Remy cried.
"Didn't you want him to stop fantasizing about you?" Peter sighed.
"Well, oui"
"Personally," Pietro spoke up. "I think him fantasizing about you, is the least of your worries."
"W'y do y' say dat, Pietro?"
"I was in his room yesterday, um…looking for um…something, and I noticed something odd in his closet."
"W'at?"
"Some sort of decorated, make-shift structure, I believe."
"Decorated, make-shift structure?"
"Yes, when I told him to go get the movies we rented-"
"Wait a minute!" Peter interrupted. "You guys rented movies and I wasn't invited?"
"You were washing your hair, and besides, you know how upset you get when someone interrupts you daily primping"
"My secret shame"
"Guys?" Remy said waving his hands around. "Can we get back to the subject?"
"Sorry"
"Anyway, so when he ran off downstairs, I quickly dove into his closet and found out something"
"What?"
"It wasn't just a decorated, make-shift structure, it was a shrine to you, Remy."
"O"
"He has all these picture of you in it. And candles! And locks of your hair!"
"I t'ought I was just goin' bald"
Peter and Pietro sadly shook their heads.
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"Squeaking, squeak?" When are they going to have an accident?
"Soon…"
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"Hey, guys?" Pietro asked
"Yeah?"
"Is it just me or did it start to get dark all of a sudden?"
"Yeah," agreed Peter. "It also started raining hard as well. I can barely see the road!"
"We're going to die!" cried John.
"Jo'hn? Did y' jus' snap out of it?"
"Yes"
"O…'old me!"
"Remy-luv!" John cried as he leapt over Pietro to get to his love.
"Peter?"
"Yes Pietro"
"Can you see the road?"
"…What would you do if I said no?"
"We're going to die!"
"I thought you might say that, Pietro." Peter said, squinting, trying to see the road.
"Hey!" Pietro grinned as he looked at the road. "It's Principal Kelly!"
A thud was heard as the car went over something.
"Well," Pietro said. "It was Principal Kelly"
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"Accidents happen when you least expect it"
"Chirping" Maybe the four mutants weren't expecting it, but you ruined it for the readers
"My deepest apologizes"
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"Ah crap!" Peter yelled as he and the rest of the gang climbed out of the car. "We killed Principal Kelly!"
"Correction," Pietro snicker as he watched John and Remy poked Principal Kelly with a stick. "You killed Principal Kelly"
"Are y' sure he's dead, Jo'nny?"
John poked Principal Kelly a couple more times. "I'm sure"
"What are we going to do with the body?" Peter wanted to know.
"Well, even though you ran him over, I'll take care of this for you Peter."
"How, Pietro?"
"Help me pick him up"
"Ew" commented John as he watched Peter and Pietro pick Principal Kelly up and start across the road. Remy dropped the stick and began to walk away with them. "Hey! Wait for me!"
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"And the plot thickens!"
"Chripin" Indeed
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"W'at is da poin' of dis?" Remy asked as he, Peter, Pietro and John huddled in the woods by the highway watching cars drive pass.
"Just wait…"
"Remy-luv, I'm hungry!"
"John's right, Pietro," Peter frowned. "What are we waiting for?"
"Someone to…found them!"
"Found it?" John looked around. "Where?"
"That car coming from over there. It's an old friend's of mine"
"Huh?"
"Now!" Pietro cried throwing Principal Kelly in the road as the car approached.
The car skidded to a halt as it drove over the body.
"Oh my god!" A familiar voice cried.
"Scott, calm down. It was probably just a dog"
"Like, Scott, why don't you, like, look?"
"Why don't you look, Kitty?"
"Like, make me Kurt!"
"Calm down you two. Scott, go check out what it was."
"Why me?"
"You were the one driving"
"At the count of three we will all go out together. Kay? 1… 2…3!" Scott jumped out of the car, cursing as he heard the doors lock behind him. "Why is it always me?" he whined as he walked around the car.
"Scott what is it?" Jean asked as Scott looked.
"Oh my god!" Scott cried. "We killed Principal Kelly!"
Kurt got out of the car and placed his hand on Scott's shoulder. "Correction" Kurt grinned, "You killed Principal Kelly"
"Like, what are we, like, going to do?"
"Don't worry" Jean said shakily. "Let's wrap the body up in a blanket that we have for no reason and dump the body in a lake. Then, we won't tell anyone about it, and forget about it for a year."
"Deal"
As Scott, Jean, Kurt and Kitty went to take care of the job, Peter and friends high-fived. "Now t' da concert!"
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"That wasn't supposed to happen!" Victor exclaimed. "Those four weren't supposed to come!"
"Squeak, chirp" That's life my dear Victor.
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Pyromaniac: So… how was it? I MIGHT post another chapter depending on if you want it or not.