DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Matrix in any way, I just love it. I also don't own any part of Enya's songs.
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This is a song fan fiction to Enya's "Only Time". It's a first person view from Trinity and its about her ideas of love and things like that. Song lyrics are in Italics.
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Who can say
Where the road goes
Where the day flows
- only time
*Stop locking yourself up.* I ordered myself as I walked out the Oracle's door. The news I had heard had not been to my liking. I silently berated herself all the way down the dim corridor. *Morpheus told you, when he unplugged you, that you had a part to play. Stop locking yourself up to the outside. You know this must happen.*
Love had never been something I wanted. Even in the Matrix it had been a shadow to me, something everybody had, but not me. I regarded it as a disease. Something I was happy to stay away from. Who knew that this is where my road now led?
And who can say
if your love grows
as your heart shows
- only time
Why had it been me? Why had I been chosen? Was there something inside of me that not even I knew of?
I had taken the pill because I knew there was something wrong with my life. I had taken it because I believed there was something more that what I had in the Matrix. I expected the duty, the fighting, the risk. I did not expect to have to give my very soul to someone.
Who can say
why your heart sighs
as your love flies
- only time
My footsteps were silent on the stairs, You couldn't be too careful, but my mind raged on. It only slowed its angry and fearful spasms when a new thought came through. What if I liked love? What if I could grow to love someone, as more than a brother or mother or friend, and like it?
And who can say
why your heart cries
when your love lies
- only time
*That can't happen.* I told myself. *I'd die before I wouldn't surrender my feelings to a single person.*
Who can say
when the roads meet
that love might be
in your heart
My mind continued to come up with its arguments, giving me a headache, as a walked on, out the door and onto the dirty street. The phone was only two blocks away.
*What had the Oracle said?* I asked myself, having trouble recalling the conversation of ten minutes ago. *Love is not a choice. There are no choices. Love is a certainty.*
If that was so, maybe I already had love in myself. I just needed to find it. But did I really want to find it?
And who can say
when the day sleeps
if the night keeps
all your heart
And what would happen if I did find it? Would the ice that surrounds my heart, that keeps me cold and keeps my feelings away, melt? Would I once again turn back to who I was before I left the Matrix? Would I be vulnerable and weak?
Night keeps, all your heart
I knew that answer would only come to me if I dared to look.
Who can say
if your love grows
as your heart shows
- only time
There were no sounds on the road. Even the cars that passed seemed quiet. My thoughts were so overpowering that I did not even question that something may be wrong.
*You can never turn back.* I told myself *Like you said, you'd die before you ever gave up this freedom, this fearlessness.*
And who can say
where the road goes
where the day flows,
- only time
Maybe you can have both. Freedom and Love. Maybe that is my Destiny. My road is not laid out in front of me. Only time can tell what will happen.
But no more talk. Danger. Look ahead. An Agent. You knew he would come.
Who knows - only time
Who knows - only time...
I do not want Love, but Love is indeed what I may find.
Only time can tell what my heart will do.
And only time can tell if this Agent will be my last battle, or just one in a million.
Time to go.