Disclaimers: None of the characters belong to me.
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Authors Note: Hi people, my internet connection was screwing up again, so I wrote this story… Again another Harry and Snape coming to a kind of understanding story… Actually, I only liked the first nine pages, after, I lost my muse, and it kind of wandered off… I don't think it is as nice as my other Harry Potter story… but still… I hope that you would like it, please leave a review to give me some feedbacks, tell me whether there are in character, or whether the plot is good, what about the writing? Please leave a feedback, and don't be too harsh please.
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Summary: Harry met Snape before he even went to Hogwarts. Snape helped him at that time, and then oblivated him. Now in Hogwarts sixth year, Snape found out that Harry had not been oblivated completely. One-shot Not Slash
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Lost Memories Returned
Harry's sixth birthday had just passed a week ago, and already, he was in trouble. Harry seriously wondered to himself sometimes whether he deserved his punishment, after all, it was not his fault that Dudley started to float in the air when he tried to hit Harry.
The effects of his punishment was still on him, quite obviously in fact. Harry winced at every other step he took, although his punishment had taken place earlier in the day. Harry suspected that he had broken his wrist, but it was a little hard to tell, considering that he had never been to the doctors, and hence did not know exactly what a broken wrist meant.
"Boy, get on with the gardening, you still have to mop the floor and cook the dinner. If my Dudders comes home and he has to wait for his food, then your uncle will hear about your misbehaviour, and you would have no food for today," Petunia's voice came out from the house.
"Yes, Aunt Petunia," Harry said, sounding as respectful as he could.
Harry worked as fast as he could, knowing that he needed his food today, as he had not eaten the whole day, however, it was a little hard to do the gardening when he had a broken wrist.
Soon, it was dusk, and Harry still had not finished the gardening. He felt tears gather in his eyes, as he thought of what his uncle might do to him tonight. He hoped at least that he would not use the belt.
Harry was brought out of his musing when he heard a rustle in the bush. He stiffened, was it Dudley and his gang playing Harry Hunting, or was what Aunt Petunia said about monsters coming out to eat freaks really true, and there was one in the bushes trying to ambush him and have him for dinner?
Harry slowly backed away from the bush, the hose still in his hands. The rustling became louder, and he saw the bush visibly move. Harry started to tremble in fright, should he risk running into the house and getting a punishment or staying out here with a monster?
A black figure suddenly appeared from the bush, and Harry thought to himself, that had to be a vampire. He screamed in fright, and thrust the hose in front of him, closing his eyes tight. Unfortunately for him, or rather the person in front of him, the hose was still on.
"Damn it, Potter, turn that hose off now, and cease that senseless noise," a menacing voice came out from the figure.
It took a moment for Harry to register a voice through his screaming, and he stopped screaming. Do vampires talk?
"Mr. Vampire, don't suck my blood or anything, I'm perfectly happy as a human, and really, I'm not really a freak, you don't have to eat me," Harry babbled.
"Cease that senseless chatter now Potter," the figure barked out.
Harry gulped nervously to himself, instantly stopping whatever he was saying. He stood uncertainly, staring at the figure in front of him. It seemed quite obvious that this vampire did not want to eat him, so what was he to do? Could he go back to his gardening? Dudley was coming home from Pier's house soon.
"Potter, what are you doing staring at me like that?" the figure asked irritated after a long awkward silence.
"Mr. Vampire, where did you learn to speak your English so fluently? Do vampires have to learn English too?" Harry asked innocently.
"What are you talking about Potter? And for your information, vampires are one of the most well spoken English creature," the figure snapped.
"Mr. Vampire, why are you here? Are you my daddy?" Harry asked excitedly, coming up with the only excuse he could think of, making him feel some hope that maybe his fantasies about someone taking him away from the Dursley's were coming true.
"What… No Potter, use your brains if you have any, I can't be your father," the black figure said, sounding rather disgusted.
"Oh, Mr. Vampire, then do you want to speak with my aunt?" Harry asked sounding rather disappointed that even a vampire also found him so appalling, might be his relatives were right, he really was a freak that no one wanted.
"Oh, for godsake, Potter, use your brains, why would I want to see your aunt who is most probably as much of a dunder head as you. Would you happen to know where Arabella Figg's house is?" the figure asked quite exasperated.
"Mrs. Figg? She lives just beside us, however, she's not in, she is visiting her relatives, Mr. Vampire," Harry said, surprised at who the vampire was look for. Was Mrs Figg a witch? Did she go out at midnight mix some poison or meet vampires?
The man cursed silently to himself, just his luck that Figg had to be away on the one day that he needed her house to floo back to Hogwarts. He would have apparated to Hogsmeade then walk back to Hogwarts, however, due to the flooding of the lake, the only way back to Hogwarts now was either by floo or portkey.
"Is there any where I can stay for the night Potter?" the vampire asked.
"I don't think my cupboard would fit both of us Mr. Vampire, you can ask Aunt Petunia," Harry replied, although he knew that his aunt would most probably freak out at the sight of a vampire.
"Leave your relatives out of this Potter, and stop calling me Mr. Vampire," the vampire snarled, making him sound more and more like a vampire.
"You are not Mr. Vampire? You are Miss Vampire?" Harry asked, disappointed, the person before him was a female? He always thought that female vampires would be more pretty.
"No Potter, I'm not Miss Vampire," the person snarled emphasising the Miss.
Harry was now thoroughly confused, if the person was not Miss or Mr. then what was he? Oh, understanding dawned on him. "Sorry, Mrs Vampire," Harry said sure that he got it right this time.
"POTTER! I'm not Mrs or Miss anything, I'm definitely a male, and I'm human!" The person hissed.
Harry stared doubtfully at the person before him, he was a human? No male human he knew wore a dress like this person. "Why are you wearing a dress then?" Harry asked doubt still quite apparent in his voice.
"Potter, this is not a dress, it is a robe, and I wear it because I'm a wizard," the person hissed.
"There is such thing as a wizard!" Harry exclaimed, or was there? Did that mean that magic was real?
"Of course Potter, how do you think that your parents died? They were murdered by a Dark wizard," the man, no wizard said.
"They were not killed in a car crash?" Harry asked shocked.
"Of course not Potter, where did you get such an absurd idea? Now tell me, is there any where I can stay for the night?" the man asked.
"There is the shed," Harry said.
"That would do, lead the way," the man said.
Harry led the way to the shed, still wincing as he moved. He noticed that the man beside him was doing the same, and realised that he must be injured.
"Who are you Mr?" Harry asked curiously.
"I'm Severus Snape, Potions Master and Professor of Hogwarts, School of Wizardry," the man said.
"Oh," Harry said, and he opened the shed of the door, and led the man in.
"You can stay here until morning," Harry said, then turned around to go back to his chore, cringing at how much time had been wasted talking to this man.
"Where are you going Potter?" the man asked.
"I have to finish my chores, later, I will try and sneak some food and bandages for you," Harry said, and left.
Harry went back into the gardens and picked up the hose. He only had to water finish the plant, then he could go back inside and mop the floor. He grimaced slightly as his wrist flared up in pain when he held the hose. He slowing turned and started to water Aunt Petunia's roses.
He was only half way through, when his wrist started to bother him quite a bit. He ignored the need to put the hose down. He needed to finish the chores and get some food tonight, even if he could last, the man in the shed needed the food and bandages.
He continued on as fast as he could which was still rather slow. He started, when he suddenly felt a large hand grab his hand. Thinking it was his uncle, he immediately backed away, tripping over a stone and fell. He continued to back away, mumbling, "Sorry, uncle, I will finish the gardening, sorry…"
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"Potter," Severus said, he had been rather concerned when the child had went out to finish his chores, seeing the state of his body, not that Severus would admit it to anyone. He had came out to take a look at Potter to make sure he was alright. Seeing him struggle with the hose, Severus had thought to help him, nothing had prepared him for this reaction.
"Potter, snap out of that," Severus said rather harshly. The boy did not react, other then to back even further away from him.
"Potter," Severus said, softening his tone slightly. The boy still did not respond.
"Harry, calm down," Severus said softly again.
After a while, Harry suddenly realised that no one was hitting him, and sat rigidly on the ground, not looking up.
"Harry, calm down," a soft soothing voice said to him.
He immediately calmed down. No one had called him Harry before, and definitely not his uncle. He looked up and saw the vampire, no Severus, kneeling in front of him.
Seeing that Harry had calmed down, Severus got up. "Did you need anything, sir?" green innocent eyes looked up at Severus as he asked in his childish voice.
"No, what's wrong with your hand?" Severus asked.
"Nothing sir," Harry replied,, ducking his head to look at the ground. If the man knew about his uncle's punishment, he would know that Harry was a freak. Harry did not want that, he did not want the one person that seemed nice in his life to turn away from him.
"Potter,
don't lie," Severus snapped.
Harry flinched on reflex when he heard the harsh voice. "Really, it's nothing, I just fell down," Harry said, feeling rather clever that he thought of an excuse so fast.
"So, you broke your wrist when you fell?" Severus asked softly, "Do you take me to be an idiot? Tell me the truth!" Severus said in an authoritative voice.
"It was a punishment," Harry said softly, surrendering.
"And what did you do that was deemed necessary to break your wrist?" Severus asked in a dangerous, but soft voice.
"He didn't mean to, it was an accident, when Dudley came into the room while he was punishing me, he tripped and fell, landing on my wrist," Harry said.
"And what did you do?" Severus asked.
"I… it really was nothing," Harry said, determined not to let Severus know that he was a freak.
"Potter," Severus said, getting rather impatient.
"He punished me for being a freak," Harry said in a soft voice, that was almost inaudible.
"And what makes you a freak?" Severus asked, a dangerous glint in his eyes.
Harry looked down, refusing to look at the man before him. He was not going to make this man hate him, he would never let him know that Harry was a freak. A hand gently brought his chin up, and he stared into obsidian black eyes, that seemed to show nothing yet everything.
"I do freak things, making Dudley float, appearing on the rooftop suddenly…" Harry said softly.
Severus was astounded. The boy was at most six, or five, and he apparated! Something that took a lot of self control over his magical power, and needing quite a lot of magical power that a child usually did not have.
Harry looked at the shock that went through the man's eyes, and sighed inwardly to himself, he knew it, the man was disgusted about what Harry could do.
"Sir, I understand that you don't want to be with a freak, just let me finish my chores," Harry said, resigned to his fate, he picked up the hose again, trying not to show that he was in pain.
The large hand clamped over his hands gently again. "Po…Harry, you misunderstand me, you are not a freak, never, the opposite maybe… in a few years time, all will be clear to you," the man said gently.
"Sir?" Harry asked.
Severus did not reply, just took out a long wooden stick and muttered some words. Aunt Petunia's rose suddenly all looked watered. Harry stared at the garden in delight.
"Is there any other chores that you need to finish?" Severus asked softly to the child.
"I need to mop the floor and cook dinner," Harry said.
Severus again waved his stick, and muttered some words. "Come," Severus said.
Severus opened the front door, they walked in. "Sir, you can't come in, aunt…" Harry said, but was cut off.
"It's alright, they can't do anything to you," Severus said reassuringly.
"Where's your room?" Severus asked.
"The cupboard," Harry said, pointing at his cupboard. There again was another dangerous glint in Severus's eyes.
Reaching the cupboard, Severus pointed his wooden stick to Harry's wrist and waved, muttering some words, then his wrist mended on it's own.
Harry stared in pleasant shock. "Is there anywhere else that you are injured?" Severus asked. Harry pointed at his chest where he had been kicked by Dudley and his gang, then at his back, where his uncle had whipped him.
Severus again muttered some words, and waved his stick and the pain was gone. Harry was about to say something, but stopped, when Severus continued to wave his stick and a delicious smell appeared.
"Eat this," Severus said. Harry looked, and found the most fabulous food that he had ever seen. He quickly dug in, not hearing Severus say, "It would most probably be your last decent meal in a while."
After Harry had eaten all he can, he turned to talk to Severus, but found the stick in his face. He started, and backed away, but was too slow. The last thing he heard was, "Oblivate, sorry, Lily's son, but you would leave here in a few more years time, it would be inappropriate for you to remember me, take care, and I would make sure that you are not abused here…" Then, there was darkness.
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The next day, Harry woke to a feeling of contentment and fullness. He felt quite happy and wondered what had happened yesterday, but all he could remember was doing chores…
"Good morning Aunt Petunia," Harry said when he went out. When she heard his voice, she seemed to stiffen, and then, asked him to make breakfast. He even got to eat, which was quite rare at breakfast.
In fact, for quite sometime, Harry got to eat three meals a day. The portion was rather small, but still, in was more than Harry had ever had.
In fact, after that fateful day, whenever some asked Harry whether he was being abused, he said no, for he really believed it, in his mind, from when he was as young as he could remember, he was just neglected by his family, and had never been beaten by them, unless Dudley was playing Harry Hunting, but even then, he was just teased. After that fateful day, for some reasons that Harry did not know, his relatives had a rather fearful look in their eyes whenever they looked at him, and that was because, they remembered that night when a man in billowing black robes had appeared, and threatened them.
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Hagrid taking Harry to Diagon Alley:
Harry had been rather amazed when he was told that he was a wizard, and how his parents really died, but deep inside him, he was not really very surprised, and he kept having a funny feeling that he had already known that he was a wizard, but he shrugged it off.
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In the Great Halls, after the Sorting:
Harry had been sorted into Gryffindor, and he was rather happy about that. He smiled at those who talked to him, and ate his food, which tasted very familiar, but every time he tried to remember, all there was, was fogginess.
Harry turned to stare at the staff table, looking from Hagrid, to McGonagall, he caught sight of a professor all in black, and when the professor turned to stare at him, he stared into obsidian black eyes. He grabbed his forehead in pain.
"Harry, are you alright?" Ron asked him concerned.
"Yes, it's just my scar, who's that man?" Harry asked.
"Oh, his Severus Snape our potions professor," Ron replied, Harry acknowledging the answer distractedly
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First Potions Class for Gryffindor and Slytherin first year:
The class that Harry's classmate were dreading, and he was looking forward to finally came. After a hurried breakfast they made their way to the potions classroom in the dungeons. Harry was really looking forward to this class, as he felt that potions sounded like a really interesting subject.
He hurriedly sat down next to Ron and took his books out, waiting for Snape to come. It was not long after that when the potions classroom door burst open, and a person all in black with billowing clothes came into the class.
The class was started by roll calling, and when Snape got to his name, "Harry Potter, our new celebrity," he said sarcastically, and the Slytherins laughed. Harry calmed himself as well as he could and tried to ignore what Snape had done.
After the roll calling was done, Snape started to speak, in a voice that was only a little louder than a whisper. "You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making, As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses. I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death, if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."
Harry stared in awe as Snape spoke. He could see Snape's love for potions making, and the Snape that he knew seemed to be coming out.
"Mr Potter!" said Snape suddenly. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"
Harry froze, what was the answer? Ignoring Hermione's raised hand, he said, "I don't know, sir,"
"Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?" Snape asked, with a condescending look on his face.
"I don't know sir," Harry said, this time not looking at Snape.
"What is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?" Snape asked, intent on ignoring Hermione's raised hands.
"I don't know sir," Harry said.
"Pitiful," Snape said, "powdered root of asphodel added to an infusion of wormwood would give you Draught of the Living Dead. You would find bezoar in a stomach of a goat. Monkshood and wolfsbane are the same. If you would read your textbook before you came, Potter, you would know all this."
Harry strived to control himself. If he could read, he would have read. His relatives had locked up his books. He stared at the man before him with hatred, and slowly, Professor Snape became Snape, then the greasy git.
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First Potions Class for Gryffindor and Slytherin first year (Snape's pov):
Severus usually did not look forward to potions class for first years, especially the Gryffindor and Slytherin class, however, this year was different, he was looking forward to it because of one person, Harry Potter. Not that he wanted to fawn over him, he just wanted to see whether he had been well treated over the years. He hoped so, the Dursley's had seemed rather frightened after he had threatened them.
He burst into class the usual way that he would, and walked up to the front, inwardly snorting at the Gryffindors who were startled by his entrance. He started roll calling.
"Harry Potter, our new celebrity," Severus said sarcastically, wanting to find out Harry's reaction. He did not flinch, which Severus thought was a good sign.
He went on with his usual first year speech, "You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making, As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses. I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death, if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."
He stopped and glanced at the class. If those dunder heads just remembered this, they would score well in this class. He was rather pleased to note that Harry was looking rather awe.
"Mr Potter! What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Severus asked, wanting to test Harry's reaction to talking in class to see whether or not his insufferable relatives had thought up other ideas to abuse him.
"I don't know sir," was the soft reply, which said nothing.
"Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?" Severus asked again.
"I don't know sir," was the reply again. Again it said nothing, and only served to prove that Harry was Potter's son, not reading his text before a lesson. Now Severus was rather irritated.
"What is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?" Severus asked, although he knew that Harry could not possibly know the answer to this one.
"I don't know sir," Harry replied.
"Pitiful. powdered root of asphodel added to an infusion of wormwood would give you Draught of the Living Dead. You would find bezoar in a stomach of a goat. Monkshood and wolfsbane are the same. If you would read your textbook before you came, Potter, you would know all this." Severus said rather condescendingly, then immediately regretted it. What was he doing?
Severus almost wanted to apologise, but Harry looked up with eyes so full of hatred. Severus glared back, this was Potter's son, what was he doing, of course he was not abused. After that, Harry soon became Potter, then Gryffindor's Golden Boy
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Fifth year first Occlumency lesson with Snape:
Harry was rather nervous about the Occlumency lessons. Not that he had a guilty conscience or anything, he was just afraid that Snape might see some memories that he did not want any to see. Harry knocked on the door of Snape's office.
"Come in," came Snape's voice.
Harry opened the door, and walked in. "Potter, I expect you to do your best for this lessons, now clear your mind, Legilimens," Snape snarled.
Harry tried to clear his mind, but before he could Snape whispered the spell, and he found himself in a memory.
Harry was eight, he was being chased up a tree by Aunt Marge's dog.
Harry was seven, and he was locked in his cupboard.
Harry was six…No, it had to stop, Harry thought.
Harry was eleven, and he was going through the Giant Chess.
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Fifth year first Occlumency lesson with Snape (Snape's pov):
All the lessons to Severus were a bother, now he had to teach the Gryffindor brat how to Occlude… Severus snorted to himself in disgust. There was a knock on the door, interrupting his thoughts.
"Come in," Severus said.
"Potter, I expect you to do your best for this lessons, now clear your mind, Legilimens," Severus snarled. Potter had came in looking rather defeated, reminding Severus of a younger Potter, and he did not want to think anything about the younger Potter.
Harry was eight, he was being chased up a tree by a large dog.
Harry was seven, and he was locked in his cupboard. The damn cupboard, Snape thought to himself.
Harry was six… the memory stopped there, and Severus felt something resisting him, before the memory shifted.
Harry was eleven, and he was going through the Giant Chess. At first Severus was suspicious as to what had happened, then he remembered the Memory Charm he had put on the brat. He snorted, and here he had thought that the brat had finally managed to do something…
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Present days, year sixth:
The summer had been rather unpleasant for Harry, thinking through the events of his fifth year did not make things better. Snape… Harry felt hatred when he thought of this name, it was his fault, that Sirius had died, yet, Harry knew he was just being childish. It was his own fault.
Now on the train back to Hogwarts, Harry just could not feel happy. Sirius… When Sirius had first appeared, Harry had thought that might be he would really be the adult that cared, and would take him away from the Dursley's but no, he had to be a convict.
Later, when he had moved to Grimauld Place, he had thought, finally, he would live with his godfather, but no, he just had to get him killed. Harry had given up hope that any body would play a permanent parent role in his life.
As there reached the station, they changed and got out, Harry still ignoring what his friends were saying. When there reached the castle, Professor McGonagall stopped him, and said, "Harry, Professor Dumbledore wants to see you."
"Yes ma'am," Harry said, and moved to Dumbledore's office. Now that he had had time to calm down, he rather regretted destroying the Headmasters office. When Harry reached the gargoyle, he realised that he had forgotten to ask for the password.
"Chocolate Frogs, Skittles, Smarties, Lemon Drops…" Harry started to mutter.
"M & M," a very familiar snarky voice said. Harry turned, and saw a black billowing cloth in his face, as Snape walked pass.
"What are you waiting for, Potter," Snape said.
Harry turned back, and followed the professor up the gargoyle. There reached the office door, and Snape knocked on it.
"Come in, Harry, Severus," Dumbledore said, one could almost see the twinkle in his eyes as he said that. The ever knowing Dumbledore…
"Professor," Harry said, not really daring to look at Dumbledore straight in his eyes. He could still see the places where he had destroyed Dumbledore's things.
"Ah, Harry, my dear boy, do you want some Lemon Drops?" Dumbledore asked cheerfully.
"No thank you, sir," Harry said.
"Severus?" Dumbledore turned and ask Snape.
"No, Albus, now what did you want?" Snape asked, glaring a the Lemon Drops in Dumbledore's hand. Of course, Snape most probably just could not stand being in the same room as him.
"Patients, my dear boy, won't the both of you take a seat?" Dumbledore asked, not seeming to be affected by their moods.
"No thank you," Both of them said at the same time, and Snape glared at Harry, like it was his fault that they were there.
"Alright, then we shall get straight to the point, Harry, I need you to resume Occlumency lessons, and I'm giving you a choice, to learn from me, or Severus," Dumbledore said. Harry could almost feel Snape gloating at the side, he seemed quite certain that Harry would choose Dumbledore.
"There's no need, professor," Harry said.
"My dear boy, you must understand, I thought you already knew the significance of this lessons?" Dumbledore asked gently.
"I do, there is no need, sir," Harry said again.
"Harry…" Dumbledore started.
"Albus, for god sake, why are you pleading with a student? Potter, you are taking those lessons, now choose who you want to teach you," Snape asked, sounding rather irritated.
"Sir, I don't need to take those lessons because I have mastered it," Harry said, finally looking up, just in time to see the shock in pass through the both professors.
"Potter, it is highly impossible that you managed to master Occlumency all on your own," Snape said.
"Perhaps, Harry, would you mind if we tested you?" Dumbledore asked.
"Can professor Snape test me?" Harry asked.
"Of course, what about tomorrow, at Severus's office, after dinner? The Sorting should have ended, and we should go back for the feast," Dumbledore replied, ignoring the glare that was coming in his direction, as well as the surprised look that flashed across Snape's face.
Before leaving Dumbledore's office, Harry hesitated at the door. "Potter, move it," Snape snarled at him.
Harry turned around and faced Dumbledore, and said softly, "Professor, sorry about last year…" then he turned and left quickly, ignoring the puzzled look of Snape, and the sad look on Dumbledore's face.
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Severus was waiting in his office at six fifty-five. The brat was not anywhere in sight, and Severus felt that it was a waste of his time. He snorted to himself, as if the boy would suddenly master Occlumency when he had been so incompetent the previous year. He was most probably just buying time, and hoping that the Headmaster would give him some privileges. Not this time, Severus would surely make the boy suffer, and Severus would never again remember does green innocent eyes that stared back at him so many years ago.
At six fifty-nine, and still no sight of the boy, Severus was starting to get a little impatient. If that boy was late, he would gain a rather horrible detention. The soft knocking on his door brought him out of his thoughts.
"Come in," Severus said sharply, a little irritated that he could not punish the boy.
"Sir," Harry said as he stepped into the room.
"Now, listen hear, I do not want to waste my time here any longer than I have to, I test you, then you choose your teacher," Severus said barked.
"Yes sir," the boy looked rather resigned, and for a moment, Severus was reminded of a time when the very same boy had stared up at him with an absolute look of terror in his eyes.
"Legilimens," Snape barked out.
Severus dug into the mind of Harry. He started to move from the conscious mind to the subconscious ones, where all the memories lay. He had not met any resistance yet, and was quite prepared to curse the Headmaster for actually believing that the boy had mastered Occlumency. He dug further, looking into the memories of the boy's childhood. This would be the last time he tried and find out, he swore to himself. He started looking for just after he had threatened the muggles.
The memories of the boy flashed fast as he went further back. He stopped it, and was about to grasp the memory of the six year old Harry Potter, when he felt a different feeling. For a moment, he almost grasped a memory, than he was forcibly pulled into another, yet, this memory did not feel so real. He saw a Harry Potter sitting at the table of a dark room, he was looking at his wrist, and to Severus's surprise, there was blood dripping down from his wrist, and the boy seemed fascinated with it. Severus shuddered and quickly pulled himself out of that.
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"Potter, what did you do?" Snape snapped. Harry started, he had not been prepared when Snape had attacked him, and did not manage to stop him in time. When he felt Snape going closer to the memories that he did not want Snape to see, he had panicked, and pushed anything he could forward, resulting in letting Snape see a dream that Voldemort had sent him.
Actually, it was Voldemort that had actually gave him the idea as to how to block Legilimens accidentally. He had sent Harry a dream in which Harry had killed himself, most probably to make him get some ideas, and actually do the deed, but Harry had felt at peace when he saw the blood, more specifically his own blood. Then, he had thought of using that as a shield. Usually his shield was just a whole picture of blood read, but he had panicked, and had shown too much.
"Potter, answer me, did you in all your glory try to commit suicide?" Snape snarled.
"No, sir, that was just a dream," Harry said smoothly, which was technically true, because it was a dream, just not the normal type.
"I see, the Gryffindor Golden Boy has been dreaming of ending his own life, how pathetic, and what makes me believe you have not tried to do that?" Snape snarled. It was not that Snape was trying to be mean, it was just that whenever he started to get nervous, he would insult people.
"Well, professor, why should it matter to you? After all, I am the Gryffindor Golden Boy, so incorrigible and horribly spoilt. Why should the perfect Slytherin Head of House care about me," Harry rebutted, getting rather irritated, who was he to pretend that he cared for Harry when he obviously did not.
"Ten points from Gryffindor, now Potter, tell me, if not I will forcibly force it out of your mind," Snape said in a softly dangerous voice as he started to calm down.
"I can block you out," Harry said defiantly.
"Now, Potter, you may not know this, but I am not a weak Legilimens, if I want to, I can break into your mind, but it would not be pleasant for you, that I can promise, so speak, and I can tell when you are lying, so you'd better not try," Snape snarled.
"It is just a dream," Harry insisted.
"Potter, the whole truth," Snape warned.
"That is all," Harry said stubbornly.
"I see, then you leave me with no choice," Snape said softly.
"Legilimens."
Snape once more dug into Harry's mind. He tried to search for any memories that he could find about Harry and his wrist hurting. Memories flashed past that Snape ignored. Wrist hurting, when had that stupid boy tried to commit suicide? Snape asked himself, what if he had done that because the Dursley's had been abusing him?
Suddenly, Snape, met with some resistance. Snape had to commend the boy, he did indeed master Occlumency in the most unusual manner. He had used blood as a shield, that would explain why the image of him cutting his wrist had came out when Snape had attacked him the previous time.
Snape pushed harder on the shield as slowly as he could so that the boy would not be hurt. To break through someone's shield could be quite painful for the person at times, and Snape did not want to hurt the boy even though he was being annoyingly stubborn.
Damn that boy, Snape thought to himself, he was too stubborn. Snape sighed to himself, he had no choice he supposed… Snape withdrew his attack, waiting for Harry to relax, then, with as much strength as he could, he pushed at one spot on Harry's weakening shield
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Harry blocked with all his might the moment he realised that Snape was attacking him. He put up his shield as strongly as he could the moment Snape started to appear near memories that he was uncomfortable with.
Suddenly, Snape weakened his attack. Harry relaxed his shield a little before he could stop himself, and Snape attacked. Harry felt a strong sharp pain go through his head as he felt Snape invade his mind.
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Snape broke through the boys shield, and started to search the events in which the boys wrists were hurting.
Six years old Potter was watering the flowers in the garden when a dark figure appeared…
"Mr Vampire…"
"Miss Vampire…"
"Not a Vampire…"
Feelings of gratitude to the mysterious man…
First time that Potter felt so full…
Meeting Hagrid
"Your are a wizard…"
"Hogwarts is so beautiful…"
Sharp pain in forehead, who was that? Betrayal, why did he not bring me away?
"Gryffindor's new celebrity…"
"Sirius…"
"Family…"
"No one…"
"Freak…"
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The moment Harry found strength, he pushed Snape out of his mind, and landed on the floor of Snape's office heavily, grabbing his head in pain. Harry dared not look up as he tried to recover himself. What was he to do? Snape found out that he remembered!
"Potter…" Snape said uncertainly.
"No," Harry said sharply. He did not want to hear whatever excuse that Snape could come out with. He knew that he was the freak that his relatives thought him to be. He did not want to hear Snape confirming that.
"I've accepted it, I'm a freak, I won't endanger your live," Harry said, and he turned and ran out of Snape's office.
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Snape stared at the figure that had just left his office. The boy remembered? How? Then, what the boy said came back. Freak? Endanger his life? What had Dumbledore been doing? Why was the Gryffindor's Golden Boy thinking such things?
Snape rushed out after Potter.
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Harry ran blindly down the corridors. He was a freak, why did he ever hope that he was not? Why did Snape have to find out? Why couldn't he be left alone? Sirius, he had caused Sirius's death!
Harry ran as fast as he could, and bumped into something.
"Potter," A voice that sounded so familiar yet with such a different tone said.
"No, get away," Harry mumbled to himself. Wasn't it bad enough that Snape had abandoned him as a child? Why did he have to come and haunt him now?
"Potter, calm down," Snape said grabbing hold of Harry.
"Don't touch me," Harry said, moving back from Snape's grip. He did not like it when people touched him, making him feel like they were going to be cursed to die just because they touched him.
"Potter, calm down," Snape repeated more gently, backing away a little from Harry.
"You were right all along, does that make you happy to know?" Harry said softly.
"I caused their death, and you were smart to leave me there, at least you did not get killed," Harry continued.
"What are you going on about Potter, it is not your fault anyone died," Snape said.
"If you really believed that professor, why did you not take me away when you saw me in that state?" Harry askede softly. Seeing that Snape seemed to have no answer, Harry said softly, "I'm a freak through and through," and he left.
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The year passed in a rather peaceful manner. Snape had told Dumbledore that Harry had managed to master Occlumency, and Dumbledore had left it at that. Harry started to hide behind his Occlumency shields more often, and most people said that Harry had changed somehow or another this year.
Harry had not suddenly became dark or anything, in fact he acted liked he always did, besides the fact that he did not get into any dangerous adventures this year. It was just that he seemed rather distant, even when he talked with his friends, or when he smiled, it seemed like he was thinking about other things.
Harry had continued with Potions lessons, however, from what most people could observe, Harry treated the lessons like Snape did not exist. Whenever Snape took away points or scolded him, Harry had a very blank expression on his face, and would not react at all to anything that was said to him.
Another unusual thing was that when Harry's class had learnt about vampires during their Defense Against Dark Arts lesson, Harry had walked out of the lesson without any explanation.
Some of the more observant people also managed to get glimpse behind Harry's mask where they saw loneliness, abandonment, and acceptance.
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Snape also did not change much. He tried to not provoke Harry as much as his status as a spy could allow. Snape had been rather put down by Harry's remark, not so much that he was convinced that Harry was a freak, but more of how Harry had come to that.
Near Halloween, Snape's identity as a spy had came out. He had been rather seriously injured, but still, he recovered fast enough. The students had started to look at things from a more perspective view, and house rivalry had lessened, leaving Snape with a lot of time to do other things.
Snape had been observing Harry from afar. He had started to get rather worried about Harry's distant feelings towards his friends, yet what could he do? He had left Harry at the Dursley's so many years ago, what right had he to interfere. He knew, the Dursley's had the blood protection wards, but were they worth Harry's childhood?
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Dumbledore had watched two of his most well liked students for into depression, however, there was not much he could do, but be there as a moral support to them, and support them when they came to him.
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Hence, that was the situation when Harry left Hogwarts. At the Hogsmeade station, Harry stared back at Hogwarts, the one place which had offered him so much, yet left him with so much disappointment.
"Harry, look, what's Snape doing there?" Ron whispered loudly, nudging Harry.
Harry turned around abruptly, and was faced with a Potion's Master stalking towards him. Harry turned and tried to get away.
"A minute of your time, Potter," Snape said, cutting away Harry's escape road.
"Yes, professor," Harry said, starting to hide behind his Occlumency shield.
Snape and Harry walked off a distance from the Hogsmeade station, neither of them saying anything.
"Before I came to Hogwarts, I only had one family member who cared, my mother… She passed away just before I came. When I came here, the first thing I thought was that I would get wonderful friends, and find a wonderful life, I suppose, I had hoped that Hogwarts would be my home… I made a mistake… and until today, I live with the consequences," Snape said softly.
Harry almost dropped is Occlumency shield as Snape started talking. Why was he telling Harry all this?
As though reading Harry's mind, Snape said, "Potter, there was only one person in the world who loved me, my mother, only one that wanted to be my friend, Lily, and there was only one who truly cared for me and not the greater good, Dumbledore. My mother died in the hands of my father to save me, and Lily died because of my incompetence to save her. I've made mistakes in life, those that killed those around me, how could I be certain that I would not make the same mistake with a six year old boy?" Snape said softly.
"You were afraid to care for me?" Harry asked incredulously, his Occlumency shield dropping.
"I was, besides, you know about the blood wards that protected you? I thought that you would at least be safe…" Snape said.
"You were afraid that you might kill me…" Harry said, pondering over what he had been told in his mind.
"It would have been better if I had died then, then my parents, Cedric, Sirius, they would all be alive." Harry said softly.
"Potter, don't be stupid, Voldemort would not have let any of them off even if you died," Snape snapped.
"He would have felt secure enough," Harry insisted.
"Would you rather Longbottom be the saviour? Or do you feel that he should have died too, then the whole wizard world would be doomed to Voldemort, would you rather have it like that? Where everyone you care for suffers at Voldemort's whims?" Snape asked.
"I…" Harry said uncertainly.
"Potter, I was not very close with you father, however, I know that your mother would willing give her life up again if she had to choose between yours and hers again. Cedric was older than you, don't you think that he felt more that he had to protect you, than you him? Black, no matter how insufferable he had been cared for you more than anything, you were the only thing that was keeping him sane, he would die for you," Snape said softly.
"But… I…" Harry stuttered.
"You can't let them go?" Snape asked understandingly.
"I can't just forget them!" Harry said desperately.
"You don't have to, just forgive them for leaving, and you for staying, they will always be in your hearts. Look up into the sky, and see their faces smiling down on you, look into your heart and feel their warmth with you," Snape said softly. Harry looked up, seeming to understand what Snape was saying.
"Why are you telling me this now?" Harry asked uncertainly.
"You see, Potter, I realised something, when I told you not to blame yourself for the death of others, I realised that I was doing the same, it would sound rather hypocritical, if I sill continued to blame myself," Snape said.
"Oh…" Harry said rather disappointedly, he had let his hopes get high again, of course Snape won't suddenly offer to take him away from the Dursley's or something like that.
"Potter… Harry, that is… you are sixteen, going on to seventeen, would you like me to be your guardian for until you are of age? I understand if you don't, it's just I though you might a nicer home for your last summer as a child…" Snape stuttered, sounding quite nervous.
Harry looked up in a look of shock, then his face adopted a rather unreadable expression, and he said, "We are quite similar aren't we…"
"It would indeed be a pleasure to have a guardian who care for a while, if you don't mind the risks," Harry said slowly.
"Potter, you know very well that I'm already at risk since Voldemort found out about my loyalties," Snape said with a touch of nervousness.
"Well, if you would promise me something…"
"What?"
"Don't put your life before mine…"
"Fine, provided you do the same…"
"Fine… In the end, you turned out to be my dad didn't you?"
"I suppose so…"
"Severus…"
"Yes?"
"Thank you…"
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The End
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Authors Note: Just wandering, did the style change through the story? It started getting worse didn't it? The front part was funny enough wasn't it? Hope you enjoyed it.
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