Title: Wish Upon a Star
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairing: Roy x Ed
Summary: Post-movie. It is Edward Elric's birthday, spent away from home, and he remembers another birthday from another time and another world, far, far away...
Warnings: Shounen-ai/yaoi, in this case RoyEd. MOVIE SPOILERS, because lately everything I've been writing is post-movie, and because I'm obsessed with the movie, even though it separated Roy and Ed and I hate that.
Disclaimer: ENVY ME! I have a signed movie poster from the director of FMA! But, unfortunately, I don't own FMA itself.
Birthday gift for Kara, also known as Neo Diji, because she's awesome and she writes some of the best RoyEd fics humankind has ever lived to read and she leaves the most wonderful reviews, and I almost worship her. And because it's her birthday soon, of course. HAPPY FIVE-DAYS-TILL-YOUR-BIRTHDAY, KARA! I was too impatient to wait... -is shot-
I hope you like this, Kara. I tried to combine humour and angst and fluff together in a more natural way. And I got this, and the humour I had originally planned for it to have seemed to have gone. And I know it really doesn't make sense, but... Just go on and read and tell me what you think.
Wish Upon a Star
It was night. Edward Elric looked out at the black skies stretched out endlessly above him, its darkness emphasizing the gleam of the golden glitters scattered all across the heavens.
Golden.
Golden, like the colour of his hair, his eyes. He'd been told this by a person... long, long ago.
Suddenly panicking, the young man tried to force his thoughts back. No, he couldn't start thinking about him. Not now, not when he was so content and peaceful. He'd never felt so happy in years, and he refused to let go of this small joy. He wanted to hold onto it, forever, but he knew it wasn't possible. Tomorrow he would wake up and fall back to the rhythm of his life, and he would not know happiness again for a long time.
Today was his birthday. His little brother had done everything for him. They'd both taken a day off from work, and they went to a funfair in a nearby town to celebrate. And while they were having a relaxed walk in the town after some fun but tiring games and rides, they discovered a quaint little shop which sold all kinds of odd things, ranging from cute toys for children to insightful books about philosophy. It was a very interesting place, where you kept discovering new things, and they spent almost an hour just in that tiny space. When they came out of the shop at last, they saw a cafe across the road, so they sat down there for a short rest and ordered some drinks. There, Edward tasted the best coffee ever. The bitterness stung, though not unpleasantly, and the sweetness warmed his senses, and soon he was drowning in the sea of coffee. He was disappointed when he peered into the empty cup and saw right down to the bottom. He wanted more, but it was getting late and Al said they should go home. So they did, reluctantly on Ed's part, but there were more surprises awaiting him. Noah had prepared a feast for them. Ed drooled at the mere sight of the wide variety of food set out before him. His appetite hadn't lessened the least bit all these years.
When his stomach was so full it was ready to burst, he thought there couldn't be more, but there was. Noah and Al had made him a birthday cake together. It was chocolate and coffee flavored, the kind of pudding Ed loved best. The elder Elric's eyes were shining with appreciation and gratitude for his brother and the Romanian girl who had become family to them, by the time he finished his sixth slice of cake. The other two had no idea how he managed to stuff so much food into himself, but was glad that he liked what they had given him.
And now, here he was, standing by the window. It was still his birthday, the day hadn't ended yet and it was only eleven o'clock. The other residents in the house were sound asleep. They should be, at least, for they had all went to bed at ten, and one hour was plenty of time for people who had had a busy day packed with activities to fall asleep. Ed was drained, but somehow he didn't want to sleep.
No matter how happy he was, his day was still incomplete without a certain person.
Oh no, not him again.
But he was asking for it by looking at the stars. Doing this with him was one of his fondest memories from those days long ago. This time his interfering mind could hardly be blamed for reminding him of his times spent in another world with him.
Maybe I should just let myself think about him... I miss him. It's not like I should be ashamed about it.
But, no, he wasn't ashamed. He was scared. Almost every time he thought about him, he would feel like crying. And Edward Elric refused to cry. Crying was for kids, and he was a full-grown man. He wasn't to start bawling childishly.
Oh come on. It's my birthday. Crying once won't be that bad.
In his mind, he saw him. Dark, messy raven hair, and pools of ink for eyes. No, wait, correction: a pool of ink for an eye. A black eyepatch floated into mind and placed itself on top of the man's left eye. It was Al who told him that the man had lost it in his battle with the homunculus Pride, more commonly known as the president of the country Amestris, because the man himself hadn't had the time.
Edward had gone too far by now to stop himself. He knew he must carry on.
This man was called Roy Mustang, and he was a colonel in the military. He was known for his charm and skills with women. And not only with women, Ed couldn't help but grin at this thought, but probably with men too, since he had managed to make the infamous Fullmetal Alchemist his lover. Yes, him, Edward Elric. This was not known to the public, of course, for this would damage Roy's reputation a lot, and Roy didn't want that because he had to climb up the career ladder and become Fuhrer. Their relationship was a secret only known to few trusted friends, which included Roy's subordinates and Ed's younger brother. And the deceased Brigadier General Hughes who was Roy's best friend and had often told Roy to find a wife. Maes Hughes had been devastated to learn of this secret at first, but recovered quickly and gave them firm support like the rest of the people who were let into the secret, for which they were both grateful for.
Their relationship had been like a roller coaster ride. Arguments occurred almost daily, except when Ed was out on missions, and make-up sex often took place afterwards.
There were sweet moments, like any other normal relationship, but those were much rarer, since Ed was hardly a sappy idiot like the girls Roy dated, and he wouldn't give into Roy's romantic moods most of the time either.
And one of those sweet moments, the blond Elric recalled, was on his fourteenth birthday. Okay, so back then he was really young and actually too young to have sex, but Edward had broken too many laws to care much about another one, especially since it didn't really seem very wrong to him. He would take into his attention any laws about homicide and theft and rape, but this law about underaged sex was just outright ridiculous. No one would consider it rape, of course, for he had willingly agreed to have sex with Roy Mustang.
Edward caught himself. He wasn't here to ramble. He was here to remember his fourteenth birthday...
---
FLASHBACK
It was a cool day in Central. Winter was starting to seep in, and the trees were bare apart from the evergreens.
And it was also Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist's fourteenth birthday. He had just returned from a mission, and was giving his report to the Colonel. He ranted on and on about a madman, and looked like a madman himself as he worked through his speech, using huge but vague body gestures to establish his point. The Colonel watched him lazily with a half-smile, constantly clicking his pen.
"And then he did this," the young blond said, slashing his automail arm through the air. "And then..."
His superior cut him off. "It's your birthday today, Ed," he said.
"I realized that. Now, the man was about to do this," another motion, this time with both arms, crossing each other, "and I dodged."
"Yes, Fullmetal, I get the idea. I think it'll be better if I read through the report myself, thank you," he paused, and focused on the boy in front of him, staring intensely into those golden eyes. "Would you like to do anything special, since it's your birthday and you've just come back from a long mission?"
The boy gawked. "What, are you gonna invite me out to some restaurant for dinner or something?"
"I could, if you wanted me to. But I'm sure that isn't one of your intentions, Fullmetal. Do you want to sit stiffly in a grand restaurant wearing a crisp suit and behaving like a good boy while watching me flirt with a waitress?" He smirked as anger and jealousy crept into those amber pupils.
"'Course not," the younger alchemist spat. "But what else could we do?"
"You could come over to my house," Roy suggested, already knowing what the response would be.
"No way, I'm bored of that stinking old place," Ed said immediately, just as Roy had expected. Then suddenly he remembered something from his childhood. "Can we go and watch the stars?"
Roy blinked, surprised. Well, at least, that didn't cost much money, he thought. "Okay," he said, "if that's what you want. Strange though, that you should choose something as plain as watching the stars on your birthday."
"It's not plain," Ed growled. "Al and I used to do it all the time. It's really fun. We need to go to somewhere in the countryside for this though. We can't see many stars from the urban cities."
Roy consulted the clock on the wall. "It's not too late if we go on a train right now."
"Can we drive?" Ed asked.
"No, I only know Central city. Once I drive out of this city, I'm lost," he said.
"How about your work?"
"We can leave that. I'm sure Hawkeye would understand."
There were two knocks on the door. Both set of eyes in the room directed themselves to source of the noise. No one opened the door. Now Roy knew it was Hawkeye, because she was a cautious person and always waited five seconds after her second knock before entering. She had encountered several scenes in the past which she did not want to relive, and that was the reason for those five seconds -- to let Roy and Ed get ready for her entrance if they were doing anything inappropriate.
She was a stern woman, but she was not unreasonable, and Roy was thankful to have her as his right hand.
The five seconds passed and the door knob turned. The tall blond walked in and greeted both of them. She had a stack of paperwork in her hands. "Sir, are you planning to go anywhere?" she addressed Roy.
Roy eyed the paperwork and sweat-dropped. Hawkeye noticed his unease and said, "No, don't worry, sir. I won't make you stay and complete all that if you must leave. But you'll have to do this pile, and that pile," she tapped the already existing heap of documents on Roy's desk, "and tomorrow's pile as well when you're back next morning. Are you clear on that, sir?"
Roy inhaled sharply. It was an immense sacrifice. He looked at his lover who was sitting on the couch and watching him, those big eyes filled with hope. He exhaled slowly. He would do anything to please Edward. It was his birthday after all, a special day, and he couldn't let him down.
"Yes, I'm clear, Hawkeye. Thanks." He stood up and smiled at Edward. "Come on, Ed, let's go." He was rewarded with the brightest smile he had ever seen in his life, so bright it dazzled him, and he thought that it was worth it.
---
Lying down on a bed of grass, breathing in the sweet scent of nature, and looking up to see stars, stars and more stars. And his lover lying next to him, their hands clasped together, enjoying the comfort of each other's presence.
It was Edward Elric's idea of heaven. He had never believed in God, and never will, but if there was a heaven, then this was it.
"It's so beautiful..." the boy sighed happily.
"I haven't felt so much peace in a million years," the man beside him replied. "You're right. This isn't plain at all. It's... amazing..."
His lover didn't speak, so he spoke again, "Those stars are golden... Just like your eyes. And your hair. But really, they can't be more beautiful than you." He saw Edward grinning at his words.
"Don't flatter me." The voice sounded annoyed, but the cat-like grin remained.
"It's not flattery. It's praise. They're different." Roy felt warmed when the grin widened further more. "You know, I've heard that if you wish on the biggest and shiniest star on your birthday, the wish would come true."
"Really?" the blond said, not at all interested in this subject, and his grin faded. "That's just rubbish. Wishes never come true."
"Just try it," Roy persuaded. "Won't do you any harm, will it?"
Edward thought about it, and then his eyes scanned the skies for a star that fitted Roy's description. "Will that star do?" he asked his lover.
"Yeah, it'll do just right." The star was very big and shiny indeed.
Edward closed his eyes for a moment or two, and then they fluttered open again. "I made my wish."
"What is it?" Roy wanted to know.
"It won't come true if I tell anyone," the boy said playfully. Roy pouted. "Don't pout, Roy. Here, I'll make it up to you."
Their eyes met, and the blond leaned closer. Their lips sealed together, and Roy smiled into the soft kiss.
It was Roy Mustang's idea of heaven too.
END FLASHBACK
---
Edward felt something wet on his cheek and he knew it was a tear.
Dammit. I knew this would happen. Shouldn't have thought about him...
What did he wish for on his fourteenth birthday?
To stay with Roy forever and ever.
It hadn't come true. If it had, then he wouldn't be weeping in a totally different universe. He couldn't believe it. Once the great Fullmetal Alchemist, now crying. CRYING. How had he fallen so low? And all it had taken was one man. One dark-haired Flame Alchemist.
He searched the skies for a star. A large, bright star. Despite his last futile attempt at wishing upon a star, despite not believing that wishes do come true, he was too desperate to care. He found the star he was looking for, and his eyes shut.
To see Roy again. Please.
He added the last word as an afterthought, as if being polite to the star would help. He gazed at the star for an intent second, then he turned away and slid into his warm bed and sought sleep.
---
He was shocked. More than shocked. He couldn't remember being this stunned in his life, except maybe that time when he received the news of his mother's death, or it could be that time when he found out that the raw ingredient for the Philosopher's Stone was living humans, or perhaps it was that time when his brother was turned into the Stone.
He stared at the figure in front of him a good, long, hard five minutes. The creature stared back.
And what exactly was this terrifying monster?
Roy Mustang.
It didn't feel like a dream at all. It felt real, but none of this could be real. He couldn't be seeing his lover again after seven years of agony. He was so astonished that he couldn't seem to find his tongue, and while he was trying to retrieve it frantically, the other spoke first.
"Edward?" Roy managed hoarsely. "What the hell?"
"Don't ask me that, I don't know either." Edward had regained his ability of speech successfully at last.
"Why...? How...?" the older man massaged his temples. "I don't get this. Is this a dream or what?"
"I dunno," Edward admitted bitterly, hanging his head. "I don't want it to be." He looked at Roy, and his dull amber eyes flared up at once. "Kiss me," he demanded fiercely. "Kiss me to prove that it's not a dream."
When Roy didn't respond, he grabbed the man's collar and yanked him down. Their lips crashed together, almost painfully, and Edward tilted his head so that they slotted together, in the perfect way that they were meant to be. The blond ignored the pain. Now wasn't the time to care about such things. He pressed his tongue against Roy's lips, asking for permission to enter. The dark-haired man gave no resistance, so Ed's tongue slipped in, exploring, tasting.
Roy finally reacted to the kiss, and soon his tongue was battling with the younger man's viciously. He explored, he tasted, like Edward. Both men were trying to bring back the old days, but somehow it just didn't feel the same anymore. That didn't mean it was bad. It was just different, and the change was neither good nor bad. After all, it had been seven years, and they couldn't expect each other to stay the same. The kiss was passionate, and Edward was more practiced now. For even though he loved Roy with his whole heart, he grew lonely sometimes and he had other lovers. He had grown out of his sloppy boy kisses throughout the years, and he moved without hesitation. He ran his fingers through Roy's short black hair, and his other hand he slid down the back side of his lover, rubbing circles. Roy raked through the mass of tangled blond hair. There were as many knots as there had ever been in Edward's golden hair, and he worked his way through each of them carefully. His free hand roamed, down to Edward's ass, and he kneaded.
Edward moaned into the kiss, and Roy smirked. It was a nice sound to hear. His ears had missed it. It was deeper, though, than Roy had remembered it. Of course it would be, because Edward's voice, too, had taken on a lower pitch. It had broken, and Roy had already known that from their last brief meeting.
They finally broke apart, panting for fresh air. Edward grinned lazily at Roy. "It's real," he murmured softly. "You're real." He looked thoughtfully at Roy. "You taste different."
"So do you," Roy answered smoothly. "You've been practicing, eh?"
"Yes. Can't blame me for feeling lonely, can you, old man?" Ed's smirk matched Roy's.
The older (not old) man decided to overlook the last two words and said, "No, I guess I can't blame you, because I've taken quite some people to bed too."
It was now that Edward took in his surroundings. "Is this a new house? Your bedroom looks completely different from what I remember."
"Yeah. There were too many memories in the old one," Roy sighed.
"What if I leave, then? Will you have to move again?" the blond questioned, an eyebrow raised. His heart was now pounding with fear. What if... what if he really had to leave?
"Maybe... But why are you here, in the first place?" the dark-haired man said.
"Well, I made a wish upon a star, and I guess the wish actually came true this time," Edward explained. "It might be because I said please to it."
Roy chuckled. "Yeah, the stars do appreciate good manners, my boy."
Edward yawned suddenly. "I feel so tired," he said. It was true, exhaustion swept over him. He didn't know why. The fear increased. Maybe his time here was over. When he fell asleep and wake up afterwards, Roy would be gone.
"Then sleep." Roy patted the bed. "I still have a double bed."
"I don't want to." The young man's stomach tightened, and his nose turned sour. "I can't sleep. When I wake up, I'll be back in my world. I want to stay with you, forever and ever, like what I'd wished for that time!" The last few words came out as a shout.
"So that was what you wished for on your fourteenth birthday," Roy said. "Your eyelids are drooping so much. You won't be able to keep yourself awake. Come on, sleep."
The tears spilled out, and he couldn't hold them back. "I can! I MUST!"
Roy smiled sadly. He put his arms around the young man. "Oh, Ed, don't cry." They sat down on the bed. Roy gave him comforting pats on his head. It was hard not to think of him as a boy during situations like this.
"I love you," Edward breathed through the stream of tears. "I love you so much, Roy, and I've never told you that because I haven't been brave enough to." He gave a small hiccup. "Don't leave me. Please don't."
Roy's heart warmed up at hearing his lover's confession. The three words he'd longed to hear, which he thought that Edward would never have enough courage to say. His smile brightened slightly. "I love you too," he whispered gently. "But I'm afraid I can't tell you that I won't leave you, because it isn't my choice."
More tears splashed from Edward's sorrowful golden eyes. The truth was agonizing sometimes, and at those times it was usually better to lie. But this time, the truth hurt and Edward knew that he didn't want what could be one of the last words his lover would say to him to be a lie. He would much rather have the truth even though it made his heart bleed. He swallowed and bit his lip to prevent himself from yelling at the world for being so cruel to him. Roy wiped away the last of his diminishing waterfall, and he lay down, his head on a very cosy pillow.
Roy Mustang forced himself to give his lover a false smile, because he knew that Edward would want his last image of his lover to be a happy one. But when the blond smiled back at him, the smile shifted to a genuine one, because Roy just couldn't resist returning his lover's beautiful smiles. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on Edward's forehead.
"Good night," he said in a caressing whisper. "And happy birthday. I love you."
"Love you too," the young man muttered back in a sleepy voice, already drifting off.
Roy Mustang gave in to his own tears once he was certain that his lover was properly asleep.
---
"Wake up, brother!"
Ed had never been so upset to hear his brother's voice. He opened his eyes groggily, wildly wishing that Roy would still be there. His eyes adjusted to the light, and he saw his brother's chestnut eyes. "Breakfast is ready in ten minutes!" the cheery voice chirped, its cheerfulness almost mocking Ed's sadness. Then the figure bounced out of the room.
Ed looked around. He was sleeping on a single bed, and there was no sight of his lover. Had it all been a dream?
No, I'm not going to let myself cry.
He stared into the mirror on his bedside table. He looked so worn-out. Then he suddenly noticed something. He lifted his hand to feel his bottom lip to confirm it.
It was swollen and bruised and bleeding.
He couldn't have started beating his lower lip in the middle of the night, could he?
It was no dream.
That made him happier, if only a tiny little bit. It did, because he had now told the man what he wanted to.
"Thank you, star," he said, breathlessly. "I don't know how you did it, but thank you."
---
Far, far away, in another space, the cold, merciless sound of the alarm clock triggered Roy Mustang to his senses. His gaze darted quickly to the other side of the bed, and felt like a heavy rock had been dropped on him when he saw that it was empty. The annoying constant ring of the alarm clock did nothing to relieve his grief. He reached over and slammed his fist down on the item.
Please tell me it wasn't just a damned dream.
He felt the sheet over at the other side, and was convinced that it was warm. And then his eyes fell on the evidence that he needed.
It was a hair. A golden hair.
No, it wasn't a dream, but he was gone.
At least he'd heard his lover tell him that he loved him, and that was satisfying already.
He shouldn't ask for more. And he couldn't, either.
I love you so much, Ed.
The End
A/N: I loved writing this. This is my longest one-shot so far, MS Word says 4,051 words. You'd better like this, Kara! Ok, just kidding. You don't have to, but I thought I'd done a pretty good job. For once, I don't seem to actually think my fic is rubbish. XD Thank you so much for all your support, you are awesome and you encourage me to write more and more RoyEd fics. Reviews are appreciated, everyone!